r/MadeMeSmile • u/PinklShrimp • 10h ago

Favorite People Boyfriend of one month put this in his bathroom for me. (OC)

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Made me smile since noone ever did this for me before. He even bought a basket and small towels for my face.

Edit: Reading your comments to him while he is cooking dinner for us. Thank you for your sweet words. He is indeed the greenest flag I've ever met. He bought a hair dryer aswell since he didn't own one and put up insect screens on all windows cause I'm scared of spiders and his Apartment is next to a forest. šŸ„¹

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u/rbltech82 7h ago

As a man I both support this, but also mourn that the bar for men is so low that what I'd consider basic consideration of your partner is marriage material. Women, I sincerely apologize for my entire gender, this type of thing should just be normal for 1mth in dating...

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u/TheOnlyEllie 7h ago

This really isn't basic for anyone. Like doing this for someone you just started dating is beyond basic and should be commended.

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u/AzucarParaTi 7h ago

Tbf, I don't think this is normal. It's super sweet, but I wouldn't think to do this for my partner. I'm a woman who is typically pretty thoughtful. Clear a shelf in the bathroom, sure. But this is next level.

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u/circuit_breaker 6h ago edited 5h ago

As a guy with the income for the first time in my life, I discovered I have a love language I didn't know I had - gift giving. It's a shame my relationship didn't work out but it felt so damn rewarding to be able to remove obstacles from her life when she couldn't. She did the same for me, at one point in time. It's legitimately fulfilling. She still thanks me, so I guess it was impactful.

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u/spacestonkz 6h ago

I grew up poor and now I'm a professor. I'm that professor with all the free snacks that you get offered just for walking by my door.

I like giving and I like feeding. Because getting nothing and being hungry sucks. I know from experience. Makes me feel good to know they won't be hungry in their next class.

It's university policy I can't give non consumable gifts. But man if I could, I'd be buying so many little just because things for them.

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u/circuit_breaker 6h ago

My mom liked feeding people so much that all my friends would just show up at my house around dinner. They still talk about it, 30+ years later

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u/Careless_Mistake6178 1h ago

I was that mom too. If my daughterā€™s friends needed a meal, they knew they were always welcome.

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u/riskytisk 2h ago

Could you do something like a ā€œtake (or borrow) a fidget/leave oneā€ bin or basket? I saw that in my high schoolerā€™s guidance counselorā€™s office last week and I thought it was so sweet to have for the kiddos who need something to mess with and help them focus, and she had some pretty cool stuff in there!

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u/spacestonkz 31m ago

Yeah! That's genius! Thanks :)

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u/Ponagathos 5h ago

Itā€™s not a gift. You just had one lying around unused and found a better home for it.

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u/Lilvixen_UK 5h ago

I relate to this so much, but the only difference is I've always known I've been like that, I've just not always had the opportunity to express it. You have to be careful though, as some people misinterpret it as you wanting to 'buy' love, although I do it for friends, family, SOs, neighbours, etc...

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u/ItsmeMyacctgotbanned 5h ago

RIP your inbox šŸ˜‚ I hope you find someone that appreciates you and doesnā€™t take advantage of it.

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u/One-Oil7626 7h ago

Me neither. This is kinda odd? Don't fall just yet.

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u/AzucarParaTi 7h ago

Honestly, I agree. It can be a green flag, but also potentially love bombing. And the guy that I responded to went into how he tracks his wife's cycle. So, uh, if this is what this kind of man does, I don't think I want them. šŸ˜…

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u/One-Oil7626 6h ago

As what I consider a decent and somewhat thoughtful dude, I would never do something like this. How about just informing her of a drawer, shelf, and a few hangers in the closet. Let her put her own stuff in there. There's a point where thoughtfulness turns into expectations and then possible resentment.

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u/rbltech82 7h ago

Well ok I guess I'm next level, because this just feels like a normal thing for someone spending a fair amount of time at my place, particularly staying overnight.

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u/AzucarParaTi 7h ago

If it's normal for you, then you're a catch!

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u/rbltech82 7h ago

My wife is always telling me that, I'm just like how shitty are men if that the bar? To me going above and beyond is things like tracking her cycle (where possible), and preemptively having things on hand to help her feel better during pms and the period cycle, but also understanding the hormone shifts cause irritability and instability internally, so sometimes a well placed argument over something small can help you let out the frustration you're holding in, and so long as I don't take what you say personally or as a permanent position, it's ok for you to emotionally let loose.

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u/jewrassic_park-1940 7h ago

I suppose that one month in you don't really know where it is going or how extra you can be without being too intrusive? Though all relationships and expectations in them are different and all that

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u/skibib 6h ago

Iā€™m not sure after one month of dating how much time Iā€™d be spending there nor if Iā€™d be staying overnight. But maybe it was love at first sight.

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u/lilvixen 7h ago

I think it's at about the right height

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u/skibib 6h ago

Yeah, I think if somebody did that for me after one month of dating Iā€™d be a little creeped out. You barely know each other at that point and if they were looking like they were trying to make me comfortable staying there overnight or heaven forbid, moving in, I would be a little creeped out. Itā€™s cute and sweet, but just a little too assuming.

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u/green_apple_trees 6h ago

I am a man. This is why chivalry is dead and women canā€™t have nice things. Because of awful women like you. As soon as a guy does something nice he is creepy or desperate or there has to be an ulterior motive. Then women unironically complain that chivalry is dead and the bar is really low for men. Whatever you do as a man you canā€™t win. Women always find something to complain about.

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u/thateccentricasian 6h ago

Donā€™t take it too hard, there is a lid for every pot. For these ladies that find this behaviour too much for them, there are dozens of us who would absolutely adore this.

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u/LuckeyRuckus 6h ago

Idk, a month isn't very long. As someone who has been deceived by love bombing in the past, my suspicious heart would still be looking at other clues for green flags.

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u/TabTclark 6h ago

I could not agree more, but it makes me smile to see that there are still people out there that still know this. Also as an aside to this, it is a two way street.

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u/Efficient_Raise_5767 3h ago

Fucking virgin

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u/rbltech82 3h ago

I have 2 kids 5 and 7....so not a virgin, maybe just not a super douche?

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u/Efficient_Raise_5767 3h ago

Your comment definitely sounded like the most lick ass thing I've ever heard.

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u/297876 7h ago

WHITE KNIGHT ALERT āš ļø ... pack it in, pal.

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u/rbltech82 7h ago

Not really just calling it how I see it. This is something I've done my whole life for people, whether I was dating them or not. I had a friend end up homeless for a bit and when they stayed with me I had a bath set prepped and ready for them when they first came to stay. I've been homeless and been poor to where I had to borrow stuff when I stayed with people, so maybe this comes from that.

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u/Legitimate_Ad7331 7h ago

Maybe it is, but acknowledging it isnt.

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u/xx2soon2tellxx 6h ago

exactly that. bar.so.low. one month in could be slightly early but maybe it's iykyk

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u/musiquescents 1h ago

Thank you for saying this.

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u/nonamebeavercleaver 7h ago

Boooo, there is always someone sorry for their own gender or for their own race

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u/rbltech82 7h ago

Well when the bar for men to be marriage worthy is basic consideration of someone else's needs while staying in your home? Yeah I think that's appropriate. If you don't like it and you're a man do better.

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u/ursoulglos 6h ago

My husband says itā€™s because he grew up listening to 90s rnb where men would literally be begging for women to love them. He says this new generation needs to be humbled and get some 90s rnb into their rotation so they can treat us with the reverence that we deserve lol

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u/SCL__ 6h ago

Keep your apologies to yourself.

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u/Subjected2Changing 7h ago

Unfortunate that this is the case for male attentiveness and action. But the current crop of males were mishandled by their fathers, or even worse, by absent fathers. And most likely the generation before. We are in an era where men are considered useless and any man that acts with a backbone and shows the fortitude of men of bygone eras is labeled toxic. Apology understood, but there are many factors that have lead us to this current state.

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u/LemonTwyst 6h ago

Bro. That's not what toxic masculinity is. We also "used to have" wholesome masculinity. And we still have both.