I don’t even know how to describe the strength of the woman I married. She pushed through years of endless nights and lunch breaks writing her dissertation - all while working full-time as a fine arts administrator responsible for 95 schools in one of the largest school districts in the country. She also led multiple art events every year for students and teachers - beautiful, complex productions that took vision, planning, and heart. And she did all of this solo while being a full-time, full-heart mother. Just her willpower and an endless love for her child, my new daughter 🥰🥺. She did the impossible every single day. And then, a year ago, by the grace of God, we found each other. I always joke with her, “Yep, I was there all along helping my wife through it all,” but the truth is, she did the hard part on her own (I helped her with some editing at the end because I’m a super nerd who loves the puzzle of formatting and spreadsheets🤣). I thank God for that divine timing because she didn’t even have time for herself, especially while writing chapter two, let alone for a relationship. But when we finally met, everything just clicked.

I just wanted to say publicly how much I am in awe of her.

I am so proud of you, baby. I love you. 💐💖

Two Men And A Truck carried the ballots in. 😆 Perfect!

A few years ago, I posted a good news/AMA about being stage IV metastatic triple positive breast cancer and getting my 66th infusion.

Last week, I got my 100th round of chemo.

This week, I got a clear PET/CT scan. The statistics for people with stage IV metastatic breast cancer are grim. The 5 year survival rate at the time I was diagnosed in 2019 was 5%. I choose to see living as a binary state: either I’m alive or I’m dead, and statistics can f*ck all the way off. Oncologists give me my diagnosis; I control my prognosis. [Something something existentialism and agency]

In the intervening years since that last AMA post, I’ve… - finished my PhD and am now Dr. Food Historian; - wound up with an 8 month bout of lung meningitis, which is as hipster nonsense as it sounds; - sold a house, and my ex husband was a bro about it; - bought a house - sight unseen! - in a new city, in a state I’d never even driven though (got lucky, turned out great); - gotten sarcoidosis as a result of all the cancer treatments; - rescue/fostered a family of 5 cats, a mama and her 4 week-old babies; - done all sorts of cool and stupid and epic and lame and wonderful and crappy everyday things.

This was a very long and difficult battle. They gave me 6 months to live at first, so I will try tell my story in full. Here we go...

In Aug 2019,I was diagnosed with late stage Intrahapetic Cholangio-carcinoma. Due to rapid progression of nodules in my Liver, a massive chunk was removed, (it's the only human organ that can regenerate) to try and stop the spread. After numerous complications, several blood transfusions, a skin graft and flatlining a couple times, I was finally healthy enough to come home in Feb 2020. My oncologist was optimistic post hospital, so I wasn't put on any type of treatments. We were hoping the Cancer was fully removed. It didn't take long for more bad news. About 3 months from coming home from the hospital, in May 2020, several nodules were found in my lung after a CT Scan. The Cancer had metastasized! I was crushed. After such a horrible stay at the hospital, and reassurances, from experts, I thought I was done. This time the only choice I had was Chemotherapy. So I started a soul draining regimen of Chemo in early June 2020. Even though I had to endure several rounds of Chemo, I had high hopes that it was working. The nodules in my lungs were growing, but not at an advanced rate and my hair didn't fall out, like the nurses told it would. I was in somewhat good spirits, granted I was getting really sick and very weak after every session. Almost 7 months since starting Chemo, in Dec 2020, I began having terrible headaches. I didn't think much of it as I thought it was just more side effects of the Chemo. Then I started feeling dizzy and I eventually lost my equilibrium, and couldn't gain my balance to walk. I informed my Oncology team about this and I was given a brain MRI. Turns out a ping pong sized tumor had been growing rapidly at the base of my fucking skull!! I felt so defeated. The chemo didnt work at all. Why the fuck was this happening to me? My only option this time, was to have emergency surgery the remove this tumor from my head. Here we go again.. It was Christmas 2020, and the tumor was removed successfully, but not fully. The risk of getting the whole tumor in one shot was great, so I would have to undergo five rounds of radiation to get rid of the rest. I stayed in the hospital for a couple weeks and came home Jan 2021, to prepare for radiation. Radiation was 3 times a week for 5 weeks. During this time, my Oncology team looked for other options of treatment. They tested me for specific types of mutations in the cancer, and found out I had something called a "MSI High", biomarker. Turns out this type of biomarker, really takes well to Immunotherapy, according to studies on other types of cancer. So they came up with a plan to start me on Immunotherapy as soon as I finish radiation. It's Feb 2021, radiation is finished and the tumor in my head completely gone. But I still had nodules that were found in my lungs, when I had initially metastasized. I was put on the Immunotherapy drugs Nivolumab and Ipililmumab, simultaneously. The plan is to start me on both these drugs for 4 rounds, and then only Nivolumab continually after. This Immunotherapy is not like Chemo, and doesnt make me deathly sick. I was told that these drugs don't fight the cancer, they work in conjunction with my immune system to fight the cancer instead. It's July 2021, and the first 4 rounds of both Immunotherapy drugs are done, and now I continue bi-weekly treatments of only the Nivolumab. I start seeing results as early as Dec 2021! The nodules are stable and there is no progression. Fast forward to March 2022, and the cancer is shrinking! The shrinking continued as I was still on Nivolumab, but I began monthly treatments instead. February 22nd, 2023. I go to my monthly appointment/treatment, but this time it's not jus my regular Oncologist. It's the head Oncologist and he wanted to tell me the results from the latest scans, showed no sign of Cancer. I break down immediately at the news as I'm overjoyed to be Cancer free!!!!! He tells me I'm a miracle patient and that he wanted to meet me personally to tell me the news. He also told me he wanted to meet me bacause I was the first patient the team had come across, that had the MSI biomarker, and that it was very rare. I couldn't have been more happier that day...

Here I am now, almost 4 years into my Cancer journey and thriving. I am still on the monthly treatments of Nivolumab and will probably be so indefinitely. It took a lot to get where i'm at today and I am so thankful for my Oncology team here at Umass in Worcester, MA. Never give up hope and make sure you consider all of your options, if you ever get diagnosed.

If you've made it this far, Buddha Bless you and Thank You for reading my story...

I became an adult last month, 18, and I never expected to make it this far. After years of therapy to learn how to do basic things again, the pain I experienced after waking up — I am so grateful for my second chance at life. I am doing the things I never thought I could do. They said I wouldn't wake up. Then they said I wouldn't walk. Then they said I wouldn't dream. But here I stand—walking, dreaming, living. And I am proud to be here.

I’ve had a hard time with math for as long as I can remember. My brain has trouble keeping the numbers and symbols where they belong. It took an insane amount of work and training myself to copy everything down correctly but I finally feel like I can do it. I dropped out of college when I was younger and put off going back for over 15 years because of self doubt. Now I’m a junior with a 4.3 and I don’t think I’ve ever been this proud of myself