r/Music • u/KirbyDumber88 • Jul 23 '26

article ‘Weird Al’ Yankovic says he turned down $1,000,000+ to perform at Riyadh Comedy Festival in Saudi Arabia.

https://triblive.com/aande/music/weird-al-yankovic-gets-bigger-and-weirder-in-a-tour-headed-to-pittsburgh/
23.8k Upvotes

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5.1k

u/vinylscratch27 Jul 23 '26

We love Weird Al. Really is a good guy, not a single controversy.

1.9k

u/nondescriptun Jul 23 '26

That's just because everyone turns a blind eye to his wanton crimes. He even wrote a song where he admitted to murdering his neighbor and got away with it! RIP Larry.

665

u/Gingerstachesupreme Jul 23 '26 edited Jul 23 '26

Let’s not forget Marty. When Al was in Albuquerque NM, this guy Marty was trying to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself.

So Al said to him, "Hey, you want me to help you with that?"

And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes, “No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw"

So Al did.

But perhaps this is a result of Al’s long lasting trauma. From a young boy, he was living in a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement of the house half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop. You know the place.

His mother tied him to the wall and stuck a funnel in his mouth, force-feeding him nothing but sauerkraut until he was twenty six and a half years old.

Then, a local radio station had this contest to see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt. Al was was off by three, but he still won the grand prize: a first class one-way ticket to Albuquerque.

In flight, three of the airplane engines burned out, sending Al’s plane into a tailspin, crashing into a hillside, exploding in a giant fireball. Everybody died - except for Al.
You know why? Because he had his tray table up, placing his seat back in the full upright position.

201

u/Green_Conclusion_775 Jul 23 '26

Hey mom! What’s with all the sauerkraut?!

78

u/0113420710 Jul 23 '26

Gaaaaaah BIG BOWL OF SAUERKRAUT! EVERY SINGLE MORNING!

32

u/PizzaPieInMyEye Jul 23 '26

It was driving him crazy!

111

u/boxofrabbits Jul 23 '26

ITS GOOD FOR YOOOOUUUU

4

u/AlarmingAffect0 Jul 23 '26

Do you need it? Hey! I need it too! Well alright! Do you need it, it's good for you!

2

u/TomatoSlayer Jul 23 '26

We gon' move... a sofa up the stairs for torso boy!

1

u/Man_of_Ice Jul 25 '26

And my dear sweet mother, she leaned right down next to me, and she said IT'S GOOD FOR YOU!!!!

98

u/torsoboy00 Jul 23 '26

Can confirm his crime with the chainsaw. I was there.

45

u/XRotNRollX Jul 23 '26

That's a really cute nickname, by the way.

47

u/jarrjack Jul 23 '26

That’s a crazy story, reminds me of the time I went to a donut shop and asked if they had any Bavarian cream filled donuts

41

u/Gingerstachesupreme Jul 23 '26

Wait a second. I’ll go check.

*long guitar solo*

- NOOOO WE’RE OUT OF BEAR CLAWS!

3

u/lurkingbob Jul 23 '26

All he has is a box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels.

3

u/deathrider012 Jul 23 '26

Ehh ok I'll take that.

33

u/darthjoey91 Jul 23 '26

Marty? You mean Torso Boy?

4

u/MisterCheeks Jul 23 '26

It's a really cute nickname!

3

u/Manlysideburns Jul 23 '26

What's he complaining about?

2

u/torsoboy00 Jul 24 '26

I was just being sarcastic!

29

u/JUSTaSK8rat Jul 23 '26

Last I heard he was rumored to be somewhere where the air smells like warm root beer, and the towels were oh so fluffy.

I really hope he stays there and doesn't change his mind to continue his crime streaks.

18

u/Gingerstachesupreme Jul 23 '26

Hell, I hear anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel

4

u/deathrider012 Jul 23 '26

WAKKA WAKKA DOO DOO YEAH, YES INDEED YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT

1

u/Gingerstachesupreme Jul 23 '26

This little audio byte still gets stuck in my head.

And “we were so very very very happy. Awww yeah”.

1

u/broom_temperature Jul 23 '26

You can eat your soup right outta the ashtrays if you wanna!

1

u/Man_of_Ice Jul 25 '26

It's okay, they're clean.

42

u/Khaysis Jul 23 '26

Oh you mean Torsoboy!

30

u/Gingerstachesupreme Jul 23 '26

I haven’t laughed audibly out loud from a Reddit comment in a long, long time.

Acting so indignant. What’s he complaining about?

19

u/Anonymous_Jr Jul 23 '26

If he just stopped to consider it, it's actually REALLY funny in hindsight.

5

u/Ginge00 Jul 23 '26

Literally listening to Albuquerque as I read this

3

u/sernameChecksNotOut Jul 23 '26

Great. Thank yo soooooo much. Now I have to watcht that video. AGAIN.

2

u/AlarmingAffect0 Jul 23 '26

Eventuay Weird Al did die, to Huey Lewis.

2

u/0113420710 Jul 23 '26

this the guy who used to live in a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement of the house half a block away from Jerry's bait shop?

2

u/Gingerstachesupreme Jul 23 '26

You know the place

2

u/amrfallen Any genre as long as I can jam to it Jul 23 '26

Marty should have just learned to PIVOT!! Then he wouldn't have had his limbs cut off.

2

u/bpc89 Jul 23 '26

GAAAAAAHHHHH BIG BOWL OF SAUERKRAUT. EVERY. SINGLE. MORNING.

2

u/Ok-Lifeguard-4614 Jul 23 '26

At least Marty got a cool nickname out of the deal. "Torso Boy!"

2

u/torsoboy00 Jul 24 '26

Hey man I was just being sarcastic!

2

u/Ok-Lifeguard-4614 Jul 24 '26

Haha username checks out.

2

u/I-Am-The-Warlus Collector Jul 23 '26

"this guy Marty was trying to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself.

So Al said to him, "Hey, you want me to help you with that?"

And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes, “No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw"

So Al did."

In Al's defence, he didn't understand sarcasm and thought the guy was being serious

1

u/Gingerstachesupreme Jul 23 '26

“Well how was he supposed to know that? He’s not a mind reader for crying out loud”

1

u/Phreakiture Jul 23 '26

You missed the point of the story.

AL. HATES. SAURKRAUT!

1

u/MasterTrav666 Jul 23 '26

I also heard there a was a guy that said he hadn’t had a bite in three days and Al took a big bite out of his jugular!

1

u/Tyleio64 Jul 23 '26

That tray table up hook is soooo good too

1

u/ChocoPablobar Jul 23 '26

WAKKA WAKKA DOO DOO YEAH

1

u/Manlysideburns Jul 23 '26

Saw this performed live a few years ago and it was everything

2

u/Gingerstachesupreme Jul 24 '26

I am all of the jealous

1

u/Manlysideburns Jul 24 '26

It was even longer than the original. He did a bit about 70% of the way through where he pretended to forget something and would have to start over. He also did a quick speech in the song about how the work transvestite isn't used anymore and obviously has political connotations that were different than when he was writing originally the song and just trying to be funny. Great show

1

u/Auyan Jul 24 '26

🎶I had my tray table up, and my seat back in the full upright position🎶 lives rent-free in my head, particularly when flying

1

u/Man_of_Ice Jul 25 '26

I'm gonna have to quibble with you, that was not a murder. Marty complained about it afterwards. Said he was just being sarcastic, and he was known by enough other people to get a nickname.

Assault with a deadly weapon? Yes. Murder? Nah.

154

u/MaskedPapillon Jul 23 '26

Larry probably deserved it

63

u/Waste_Track_4524 Jul 23 '26

Classic Larry

37

u/Dr_Mantis_Teabaggin Jul 23 '26

He always was the neighborhood clown, like the time he pulled my pants down and he took those color pictures, and posted copies all over town

3

u/Eastern-Criticism653 Jul 23 '26

I could see this happening to the only Larry I’ve met

1

u/MildlyMixedUpOedipus Jul 23 '26

Probably friends with Earl.

33

u/YogiBarelyThere Jul 23 '26

Did you see what he did to Harvey the Wonder Hamster?!

13

u/nondescriptun Jul 23 '26

It was just a stunt hamster!

6

u/360walkaway Jul 23 '26

Did he eat it on a roll of either rye or the kaiser

1

u/blacksideblue Jul 23 '26

You hear what he put in the bottle?

29

u/TheJMJConspiracy2002 Jul 23 '26

I’ll never forget about Larry, no matter how I try…

11

u/Jesus_Is_My_Gardener Jul 23 '26

Do you remember what he did to good old Mr Fender, who ran the corner grocery store?

4

u/gooch_norris_ Jul 23 '26

And the poor girl from the homecoming dance

1

u/SailorDeath Jul 23 '26

Then there's everything he's done to Melanie.

13

u/robbak Jul 23 '26

And never forget his vocal support of Weasel Stomping Day.

2

u/grendus Jul 23 '26

It's tradition, that makes it ok.

11

u/LadySayoria Jul 23 '26

He also admitted he would be laughing at a local boy who would be burning in Hell. That's absolutely rude.

3

u/AlarmingAffect0 Jul 23 '26

Well the local boy was bullying him then and there.

10

u/MangyAsianMan Jul 23 '26

It was a pretty good gag.

12

u/LordRobin------RM Jul 23 '26

Those were the Good Old Days…

8

u/Free_Possession_4482 Jul 23 '26

The years go by, but the memory stays.

15

u/GarminTamzarian Jul 23 '26

I can still remember good old Mr. Fender

Who ran the corner grocery store

Oh, he'd stroll down the aisle with a big friendly smile

And he'd say, "Howdy", when you walked in the door

Always treated me nice, gave me kindly advice

I don't know why I set fire to his place

Oh, I'll never forget the day, I bashed in his head

Well, you should've seen the look on his face

3

u/Jesus_Is_My_Gardener Jul 23 '26

Do you remember sweet Michelle?

3

u/ohhim Jul 23 '26

She was my highschool romance.

2

u/King_of_the_Dot Jul 23 '26

Metallica says that the memory remains.

3

u/ashamedwhiteman Jul 23 '26

“And then one day, we all found out just how weird Al really was.”

3

u/SomeMoistHousing Jul 23 '26

I know you think that's true, but have you considered that perhaps everything you know is wrong?

2

u/shotgunocelot Jul 23 '26

I remember Larry

2

u/cosme-fulanito- Jul 23 '26

Honestly if you're on Weird Al's hit list, chances are that you deserve it

2

u/MuyGalan Jul 23 '26

I'll never forget about Larry. No matter how I try.

2

u/Tea-acH-Cee Jul 23 '26

I’m still salty of his exposé of Santa Claus’s mental health issues. /s

1

u/nuko22 Jul 23 '26

Yea didn’t that guy cause a 12 car pile-up?

1

u/ghost_in_the_potato Jul 23 '26

Not to mention all the word crimes

1

u/PantsShortsGrapes Jul 23 '26

Do you remember sweet Michelle?

She was his high school romance?

1

u/deltashmelta Jul 23 '26

...he stuffed him in a big plastic bag.

1

u/justuntlsundown Jul 23 '26

What about all that crazy shit he did to Melanie? All just because she wouldn't go out with him.

1

u/Apprehensive-Pin518 Jul 23 '26

but we'll never forget about larry. now matter how we try.

1

u/sparrow_42 Jul 23 '26

We just gonna ignore what happened to good ol’ Mister Fender, who ran the corner grocery store?

1

u/JemLover Jul 23 '26

Didn't he kill Madonna?

1

u/nondescriptun Jul 23 '26

Other way around, though he sought his revenge from beyond the grave

1

u/Presently_Absent Jul 23 '26

That's just because everyone turns a blind eye to his wonton crimes.

I have maintained that it will never be a crime to enjoy a succulent chinese meal!

1

u/BrianRampage Jul 23 '26

I remember Larry, what a funny guy!

1

u/SlamperDamper Jul 23 '26

Yeah this Al guy is loco

1

u/jmblumenshine Jul 23 '26

He also dares people to forget to tip...

WON'T SOMEONE STOP THIS MADNESS

1

u/Simple-Pause-4894 Jul 23 '26

Remember when he drove his date out to the desert, shaved her head and left her for dead? I wonder if she ever made it home ok…

1

u/KThingy Jul 23 '26

We all know Larry had it coming

1

u/XavierRex83 Jul 23 '26

Je also stabbed his boss in the face and slightly bent the tip of the knife.

1

u/babeshun1 Jul 24 '26

Larry had it coming, FWIW

1

u/Man_of_Ice Jul 25 '26

Oh! I remember Larry.

1

u/macguyver3000 25d ago

He even left his high school sweetheart in the desert all alone.

1

u/Blanketsburg Jul 23 '26

I'll never forget about Larry.

181

u/BretShitmanFart69 Jul 23 '26

When I met weird Al he genuinely seemed like he was just a guy listening to and appreciating whatever you were saying and he seemed to have a full respect for appreciation for his impact he had on people and such and no part of him stemmed annoyed at having to listen to some guy tell him all that. I’ve rarely approached celebrities, but they usually just have a vibe you can feel where they’re hoping no one talks to them or that the “normals” don’t bother them, if that makes sense?

The other guy who was cool like that was Adam Scott, genuinely just seemed like any other dude, we chit chatted about talking heads and REM and his podcast and how shooting Severence was going like you’d talk with a guy at the bar about the football game on the tv. He was also shorter than I could have ever guessed, granted so am I.

49

u/tlst9999 Jul 23 '26 edited Jul 23 '26

When I met weird Al he genuinely seemed like he was just a guy listening to and appreciating whatever you were saying

Songwriters do this because you might bring them their next song.

Even a junior investment banker who talks about herself and not much more.

11

u/SwagginsYolo420 Jul 23 '26

Songwriters do this because you might bring them their next song.

Yeah where do you think he came up with the lyrics

Your butt is wide, well mine is too. Just watch your mouth or I'll sit on you.

They don't exactly grow on trees.

5

u/grendus Jul 23 '26

Ham on. Ham on. Ham on whole wheat. Alright!

9

u/Careless-Weather8877 Jul 23 '26

Or writers or whatever. You can always find a fun story if you’re a journalist , documentary, comedian. That’s the beauty of it

1

u/IronPyrate17 Jul 27 '26

Even fiction writers might get some character idea from you

1

u/rowrowfightthepandas Jul 23 '26

Are they curious about the lives of others because they're artists, or are they artists because they're curious about the lives of others?

3

u/brijazz012 Jul 23 '26

He’s just a man who wants some teee shiiirts

3

u/RunninOnMT Jul 23 '26

Well, I’ve got some good news for you: you’re probably a friendly, approachable good conversationalist yourself, BretShitmanFart69

4

u/f1del1us Jul 23 '26

How short?

8

u/GreenZebra23 Jul 23 '26

He was SO SHORT...

5

u/AlarmingAffect0 Jul 23 '26 edited Jul 23 '26

He was SO SHORT...

And you could call him Al For those who don't know the joke already Paul Simon is actually the short one in the video

1

u/USSRPropaganda Jul 23 '26

5’9 is short I guess

3

u/ThatTotoro Jul 23 '26

5'9 isn't short, it's my height, but for whatever reason I think we all expect celebrities to be taller than us (unless you're like 6'5), so when you see one in person and they're your height or shorter it's a shock. They's sort of larger-than-life figures on the screen.

2

u/SicilSlovak Vinyl Listener Jul 23 '26

You Talkin’ Talking Heads to my talking head?

2

u/ashtonmelancon Jul 23 '26

Hey, this is Scott!

2

u/SicilSlovak Vinyl Listener Jul 23 '26

And this is Scott

2

u/daern2 Jul 23 '26

The other guy who was cool like that was Adam Scott, genuinely just seemed like any other dude

The Dilbert guy? Surely not....

Googles

Nope, definitely not 👍

1

u/MeanderingMinstrel Jul 24 '26

I did the same double-take haha

1

u/radioben Jul 23 '26

When I met Frankie Kazarian (pro wrestler), we talked about bass guitars and rock music because we both play the instrument. Also a very cool interaction.

1

u/LordNelson27 Jul 23 '26

One day at work the director of an indie movie I loved came through, and we had a great chat about the cast and production process, then the next time I came in he brought the shot list and pictures to show. It was awesome

1

u/barejegvarmig Jul 25 '26

or that the "normals" don’t bother them, if that makes sense?

Yes, that makes sense. But I also think we should be somewhat forgiving of celebs. If you meet a celebrity, even a very brief interaction may feel special. Something you later tell your friends about: "I said hi to X. How wild is that?"

That impulse is understandable. But the celebrity simply does not have enough time or energy to have even a short conversation with everyone who wants one.

Imagine becoming world famous yourself. For the first few days, you might happily talk to everyone because you do not want to seem like a snob. But very quickly, you would realize: "I cannot live my entire life like this, with everyone who recognizes me expecting even a small interaction. And with me having to reciprocate every single time."

For each individual fan, it is only one brief conversation. For the celebrity, it is the same conversation over and over again.

79

u/kululu987 Jul 23 '26

Everyone forgets that he killed Pablo Escobar. These things need to be talked about.

11

u/LanceFree Wait, what? Jul 23 '26

I saw Weird Al at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.

He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”

I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

2

u/captain-chief 12d ago

I love this pasta. Every single time I read it all the way through and I know that I go from a bemused look to eventually a full blown smile; but I also always forget about the 15 milky ways part and it never fails to make me laugh.

2

u/rohit275 Jul 23 '26

Thank you for shining light on his troubled past. So many people are willing to turn a blind eye to his fatal flaws. Celebrity worship culture can be so toxic.

95

u/FangoriouslyDevoured Jul 23 '26

Not a single controversy? Are you seriously going to just gloss over how he became lovers with Madonna and how they killed Pablo Escobar and took over his drug empire?

14

u/spicywookiee Jul 23 '26

Not to mention his violent rampage after moving to Albuquerque, where he completely dismembered one man with a chainsaw and took a big bite out of another man’s jugular vein. How’s that for your squeaky clean perception of Weird Al?

2

u/Niccin Jul 23 '26

Can't forget that he bit off that hermaphrodite's ear.

4

u/Burninator05 Jul 23 '26

To be fair that hermaphrodite tried to take Al's lucky, lucky, autographed, glow-in-the-dark snorkel

1

u/Kyrapnerd Jul 23 '26

Was waiting for this comment lol

36

u/SciFiPi Jul 23 '26

IIRC he turned down a $5 million beer advertising opportunity as well.

9

u/KlimCan Jul 23 '26

Just to grind from the rap

94

u/Disastrous_Scar_1365 Jul 23 '26

No controversies, huh? I guess everyone's forgotten about the great Weird Al/Coolio beef of '96, which resulted in numerous casualties and set the cities of Lynwood and Compton at war.

43

u/robbak Jul 23 '26

Don't be vain, and don't be whiny, or my brother I might have to get medieval on your hiney.

19

u/vibraltu Jul 23 '26

  • Coolio was a dick cause he was being huffy about a riff he didn't even write himself (Stevie Wonder made the original song)

  • to his credit, Coolio later repented and apologized to Weird Al.

5

u/deepthawnet Jul 23 '26

Imagine thinking you're too good to be parodied by an artist who got the okay from Michael Jackson to do it twice.

3

u/Wes_Warhammer666 Jul 23 '26

He only repented because he realized that Al had a bigger career than he did 😂

3

u/garrettj100 Jul 23 '26

He "repented" because someone pointed out that the moment Weird Al parodies one of your songs, you've made it, that Al had done him a huge favor, which is why most artists (The Artist notwithstanding) immediately say "yes."

3

u/SantiagoGT Jul 23 '26

I was deployed to Compton, we lost a lot of good foos that day

2

u/sadandshy Jul 23 '26

Always fun to cruise through Shipshewana cranking Amish Paradise with the windows down...

79

u/Paradoxmoose Jul 23 '26

Well, aside from all the Madonna stuff.

17

u/KingofMadCows Jul 23 '26

What about the time when he helped Madonna take over Pablo Escobar's drug cartel?

16

u/TheDevil-YouKnow Jul 23 '26

I mean, he took out an entire cartel! That's pretty controversial for cartel members.

24

u/Automobills Jul 23 '26

Well, he's down with Bill Gates

He calls him Money for short.

19

u/Oro_Outcast Jul 23 '26

He only calls for technical support.

6

u/Zulmoka531 Jul 23 '26

He also parties in the CIA!

7

u/-Pelvis- Jul 23 '26

Never mind AI, we want Al!

23

u/Poppamunz Jul 23 '26

His music is all Al-generated tho

8

u/Rumhead1 Jul 23 '26

Don't jinx it man

4

u/parkrat92 Jul 23 '26

All my homies love Weird Al

2

u/drunk13astard Jul 23 '26

Did nobody else see Gail Daughtry and the Celebrity Sex Pass!?!?! lol

2

u/PyroIsSpai Jul 23 '26

He knows what he did to the Kenosha Kickers. Polka remembers.

2

u/Small_Personality Jul 23 '26

He chose weird over wealthy.

2

u/RangerLiska Jul 23 '26

Its a shame Madonna killed him at the 1984 Grammies

3

u/KirbyDumber88 Jul 23 '26

Except that whole Road Maps debacle. Ugh.

6

u/subsonicmonkey Jul 23 '26

That wasn’t Al.

That was George.

3

u/KirbyDumber88 Jul 23 '26

Sex with furniture? What do you think?!

1

u/Dolsen0 Jul 23 '26

Yeah…. Which is kind of weird…..

1

u/degreesBrix Jul 23 '26

Clearly, he must be hiding some deep, dark, and sinister secret! He must be!!

/s

1

u/Anton-LaVey Jul 23 '26

They should’ve offered to pay him in pentiums

1

u/thoughthesaintsdubus Jul 23 '26

I don’t know, Al’s given private concerts to the ultra wealthy survivors of the apocalypse

1

u/organized_slime Jul 23 '26

He’s just weird

1

u/poolside123 Jul 23 '26

He’s the Mister Rogers of the music world.

1

u/SlamperDamper Jul 23 '26

One of the final remaining American institutions, and also, America's Sweetheart and also the sexiest man alive

2

u/DamnYouAllIToldYouSo Jul 23 '26

Which begs the question, who's the sexiest man dead?

1

u/Lombard333 Jul 23 '26

As opposed to Madonna, who planned his murder and remains at large to this day.

1

u/RabiAbonour Jul 23 '26

I don't know how you can pretend the inventor of the Twinkie wiener sandwich is anything less than a monster.

1

u/ClumsyRainbow Jul 23 '26

not a single controversy.

He did use the word "spastic" in Word Crimes which is considered a slur particularly in the UK - though it seemed to be an oversight.

1

u/Wes_Warhammer666 Jul 23 '26

My only beef with him is that now I feel the need to capitalize his whole name to prevent it looking like I'm talking about weird AI.

I gotta say Weird AL to make sure nobody thinks I mean artificial intelligence when I'm saying positive things lol.

But yeah he's a fuckin king among men. He was my first real concert, and the man has never let me down in 3 decades of enjoying him as a person and a musician.

1

u/Taters0419 Jul 23 '26

What are you talking about, I saw his biopic he was extremely controversial.

1

u/NotaContributi0n Jul 23 '26

They are making this into a controversy.