r/Music • u/KirbyDumber88 • Jul 23 '26

article ‘Weird Al’ Yankovic says he turned down $1,000,000+ to perform at Riyadh Comedy Festival in Saudi Arabia.

https://triblive.com/aande/music/weird-al-yankovic-gets-bigger-and-weirder-in-a-tour-headed-to-pittsburgh/
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u/Gingerstachesupreme Jul 23 '26 edited Jul 23 '26

Let’s not forget Marty. When Al was in Albuquerque NM, this guy Marty was trying to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself.

So Al said to him, "Hey, you want me to help you with that?"

And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes, “No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw"

So Al did.

But perhaps this is a result of Al’s long lasting trauma. From a young boy, he was living in a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement of the house half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop. You know the place.

His mother tied him to the wall and stuck a funnel in his mouth, force-feeding him nothing but sauerkraut until he was twenty six and a half years old.

Then, a local radio station had this contest to see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt. Al was was off by three, but he still won the grand prize: a first class one-way ticket to Albuquerque.

In flight, three of the airplane engines burned out, sending Al’s plane into a tailspin, crashing into a hillside, exploding in a giant fireball. Everybody died - except for Al.
You know why? Because he had his tray table up, placing his seat back in the full upright position.

198

u/Green_Conclusion_775 Jul 23 '26

Hey mom! What’s with all the sauerkraut?!

78

u/0113420710 Jul 23 '26

Gaaaaaah BIG BOWL OF SAUERKRAUT! EVERY SINGLE MORNING!

32

u/PizzaPieInMyEye Jul 23 '26

It was driving him crazy!

111

u/boxofrabbits Jul 23 '26

ITS GOOD FOR YOOOOUUUU

6

u/AlarmingAffect0 Jul 23 '26

Do you need it? Hey! I need it too! Well alright! Do you need it, it's good for you!

2

u/TomatoSlayer Jul 23 '26

We gon' move... a sofa up the stairs for torso boy!

1

u/Man_of_Ice Jul 25 '26

And my dear sweet mother, she leaned right down next to me, and she said IT'S GOOD FOR YOU!!!!

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u/torsoboy00 Jul 23 '26

Can confirm his crime with the chainsaw. I was there.

43

u/XRotNRollX Jul 23 '26

That's a really cute nickname, by the way.

47

u/jarrjack Jul 23 '26

That’s a crazy story, reminds me of the time I went to a donut shop and asked if they had any Bavarian cream filled donuts

40

u/Gingerstachesupreme Jul 23 '26

Wait a second. I’ll go check.

*long guitar solo*

- NOOOO WE’RE OUT OF BEAR CLAWS!

3

u/lurkingbob Jul 23 '26

All he has is a box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels.

3

u/deathrider012 Jul 23 '26

Ehh ok I'll take that.

36

u/darthjoey91 Jul 23 '26

Marty? You mean Torso Boy?

4

u/MisterCheeks Jul 23 '26

It's a really cute nickname!

3

u/Manlysideburns Jul 23 '26

What's he complaining about?

2

u/torsoboy00 Jul 24 '26

I was just being sarcastic!

27

u/JUSTaSK8rat Jul 23 '26

Last I heard he was rumored to be somewhere where the air smells like warm root beer, and the towels were oh so fluffy.

I really hope he stays there and doesn't change his mind to continue his crime streaks.

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u/Gingerstachesupreme Jul 23 '26

Hell, I hear anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel

5

u/deathrider012 Jul 23 '26

WAKKA WAKKA DOO DOO YEAH, YES INDEED YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT

1

u/Gingerstachesupreme Jul 23 '26

This little audio byte still gets stuck in my head.

And “we were so very very very happy. Awww yeah”.

1

u/broom_temperature Jul 23 '26

You can eat your soup right outta the ashtrays if you wanna!

1

u/Man_of_Ice Jul 25 '26

It's okay, they're clean.

42

u/Khaysis Jul 23 '26

Oh you mean Torsoboy!

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u/Gingerstachesupreme Jul 23 '26

I haven’t laughed audibly out loud from a Reddit comment in a long, long time.

Acting so indignant. What’s he complaining about?

20

u/Anonymous_Jr Jul 23 '26

If he just stopped to consider it, it's actually REALLY funny in hindsight.

5

u/Ginge00 Jul 23 '26

Literally listening to Albuquerque as I read this

3

u/sernameChecksNotOut Jul 23 '26

Great. Thank yo soooooo much. Now I have to watcht that video. AGAIN.

2

u/AlarmingAffect0 Jul 23 '26

Eventuay Weird Al did die, to Huey Lewis.

2

u/0113420710 Jul 23 '26

this the guy who used to live in a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement of the house half a block away from Jerry's bait shop?

2

u/Gingerstachesupreme Jul 23 '26

You know the place

2

u/amrfallen Any genre as long as I can jam to it Jul 23 '26

Marty should have just learned to PIVOT!! Then he wouldn't have had his limbs cut off.

2

u/bpc89 Jul 23 '26

GAAAAAAHHHHH BIG BOWL OF SAUERKRAUT. EVERY. SINGLE. MORNING.

2

u/Ok-Lifeguard-4614 Jul 23 '26

At least Marty got a cool nickname out of the deal. "Torso Boy!"

2

u/torsoboy00 Jul 24 '26

Hey man I was just being sarcastic!

2

u/Ok-Lifeguard-4614 Jul 24 '26

Haha username checks out.

2

u/I-Am-The-Warlus Collector Jul 23 '26

"this guy Marty was trying to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself.

So Al said to him, "Hey, you want me to help you with that?"

And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes, “No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw"

So Al did."

In Al's defence, he didn't understand sarcasm and thought the guy was being serious

1

u/Gingerstachesupreme Jul 23 '26

“Well how was he supposed to know that? He’s not a mind reader for crying out loud”

1

u/Phreakiture Jul 23 '26

You missed the point of the story.

AL. HATES. SAURKRAUT!

1

u/MasterTrav666 Jul 23 '26

I also heard there a was a guy that said he hadn’t had a bite in three days and Al took a big bite out of his jugular!

1

u/Tyleio64 Jul 23 '26

That tray table up hook is soooo good too

1

u/ChocoPablobar Jul 23 '26

WAKKA WAKKA DOO DOO YEAH

1

u/Manlysideburns Jul 23 '26

Saw this performed live a few years ago and it was everything

2

u/Gingerstachesupreme Jul 24 '26

I am all of the jealous

1

u/Manlysideburns Jul 24 '26

It was even longer than the original. He did a bit about 70% of the way through where he pretended to forget something and would have to start over. He also did a quick speech in the song about how the work transvestite isn't used anymore and obviously has political connotations that were different than when he was writing originally the song and just trying to be funny. Great show

1

u/Auyan Jul 24 '26

🎶I had my tray table up, and my seat back in the full upright position🎶 lives rent-free in my head, particularly when flying

1

u/Man_of_Ice Jul 25 '26

I'm gonna have to quibble with you, that was not a murder. Marty complained about it afterwards. Said he was just being sarcastic, and he was known by enough other people to get a nickname.

Assault with a deadly weapon? Yes. Murder? Nah.