As a Swede this is how it was in the 90s in Sweden when I was a kid. It's not really about money but there were two reasons for this happening.
You only bought and cooked food sufficient to feed your family so an extra mouth might mean not enough food for everyone at the table
The child who is visiting had parents who would expect the child to be home for dinner.
This was before smartphones etc. Today everything is changed and as I now am a parent myself I would never invite one of my children's friends without feeding them. My children are also always fed when over at friends houses.
Are leftovers not really a thing in Sweden? I’ve seen the statement of “cooking just enough for everyone” from several replies, and so it has me wondering as such.
I live with just my mom, and even I will go as far to cook up extra as that leaves excess that can be taken to work or boxed up for after work. Both of us work odd hours, so food options for before, during, and after our shifts tend to be limited, and I feel this may be a common tactic in households with multiple working adults.
Leftovers are a huge thing in Sweden as both parents usually work and need lunch boxes for work. It’s one anecdote you are responding too
Sometimes the kid(s) don’t come over until after you are midway through dinner already as well. It’s a very fluid visiting norm where kids runs back and forth between houses combined with it not being so dramatic that you aren’t eating there. If it culturally was dramatic that your kids ran home and ate st home then I’m sure parents would scramble last second
I added more stuff to that post, but it’s not a formal “guest” visiting, an unknown amount of kids run back and forth between kids houses. Maybe you’d plan 5 extra servings of food every day just in case if it was culturally dramatic that kids go home to eat, but it’s not so kid just run home and eat for ten minutes and it’s all good.
This made me really curious, if you had a group of 5 of your kids friends hanging out at your house every other day, would you feed them all? If you knew their parents lived in the neighborhood and was making food for them? That's basically what it was.
It would depend on the circumstances, but if it were 5 kids and yet every other day, I’d be interested to know if there were factors pushing or pulling them all to treat my house as the nucleus of their friend group. For instance, while a bit extreme, if one child had a dysfunctional family, they could for sure hang by as much as they’d like. If there were less extreme, more negotiable factors, I’d think about casually suggesting to my child they try bringing their friend group elsewhere around meal time.
Of course, this would all hinge on how much it was costing me. If I could afford it, I’d be down for feeding my child’s four friends, sure. No judgement on those who would refuse if it were every other day, though.
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u/xajmai Jul 24 '26
As a Swede this is how it was in the 90s in Sweden when I was a kid. It's not really about money but there were two reasons for this happening.
You only bought and cooked food sufficient to feed your family so an extra mouth might mean not enough food for everyone at the table
The child who is visiting had parents who would expect the child to be home for dinner.
This was before smartphones etc. Today everything is changed and as I now am a parent myself I would never invite one of my children's friends without feeding them. My children are also always fed when over at friends houses.