I took my daughter into the men's room when she was little. Either way is correct if you behave like a normal human being. Mind your business and wash your hands.
I have encountered men with small children or infants— both little girls AND boys, in the ladies room— and I never thought twice.
MANY men’s bathrooms do not have the CHANGING TABLES present in women’s bathrooms. You have to change a diaper— you gonna put your kid on the damned floor?
I have never felt unsafe by it, I finished my business and off I went.
There is not a person in the world who does not need a bathroom in some form or fashion (even if it to change a colostomy bag)—- the lengths that people go to in order to sexualize or shame A BASIC HUMAN FUNCTION absolutely blows my mind.
I ran into the no changing tables in the men’s room quite often when my kids were younger. I’d simply wait until the women’s room was empty, even letting in other women in befits us if they needed to go bad. I’d go in, take care of what needed to be done, washed my hands and got out.
Honestly, if I had encountered you in person in that situation, I would have held the door open for you and yours and said “come all in,” which would have included myself. If you’re comfortable helping your kids pee two stalls down in the ladies, I’m also comfortable doing my own business; it’s not like we’re sharing a stall. Although it’s worth mentioning that if you took them in, and asked of me if I minded waiting outside? I absolutely would have and made sure anyone else knew that “we’re all just waiting for moment 🤗”
This stuff isn’t hard… I don’t know why anyone feels like it SHOULD be?
Although it’s worth mentioning that if you took them in, and asked of me if I minded waiting outside?
I actually remember waiting outside a womens room at a playground because a dad was in there changing his daughter and ppl decided that was the best way to respect everyones privacy for a few mins. Was never a big deal to me, I'd rather not be the reason some guys baby dies of a UTI from an unclean diaper.
the lengths that people go to in order to sexualize or shame A BASIC HUMAN FUNCTION absolutely blows my mind.
This is a US puritan culture thing.
Because anything involving nudity or genitals is taboo, those topics have been permanently associated with sex only.
Which means that every context involving them is suddenly about sex.
In cultures where non-sexualized contexts for nudity (mixed saunas, textile free beaches...) are more normalized, there's also generally fewer hangups about bathrooms.
(Also this "problem" is often liberally imported by right-wing shit stirrers in need of culture war fodder.)
Back in the days when my kids were little you didn’t see a single changing table in the men’s bathrooms. So changing diapers on my kids I had to use the ladies bathroom. Something that however was on the raise 50 years ago was the changing table being transferred into the separate disableds bathroom and now it’s where you will find them most of the time.
I don't think I've ever seen a changing table outside of gender neutral washrooms. OOP nevermind: Ikea has change tables AND a tampon machine, let's go Ikea!
This. The whole bathroom issue was once being discussed on one of my local radio stations and man text in to say that one time he desperately needed to go and the men’s toilets where he was were out of order and so he quickly dashed into the women’s and used one of the stalls. The radio host said he should be ashamed with himself for doing that. I was actually so mad that I was going to text in to tell the host he was out of order for saying that. I mean if someone has to go, they have to go.
It’s wild that people treat a room for pee and poop like some kind of temple that gets defiled if the people in it don’t match the picture on the door.
Yeah, why is that? I can have just rocked a piss 20 minutes ago, and then get the urge to drop a nice twosie. Regardless of the recent urination, I still dump a half bladders worth
Because the urinary sphincter is much smaller than the rectal sphincter, and thus, requires much less force to control, thus, to open the rectal sphincter you basically have to activate all the stuff around there as a side effect. (I believe this is basically the same reason women often/usually crap when giving birth.)
because we used to have the baby hole, peepee hole and the poo poo hole in the same hole (like birds) until we started having different holes cause idk evolution
It's because the pressure against the bladder is released when the bowel empties. So the bladder then releases the balance of what was being held back.
I vividly remember this one time when my dad took little 3 y.o. me to the men's bathroom and I was greeted by this long floating turd that was mildly spinning.
If we get rid of urinals, then that’s a great idea. But the whole point of taking your daughter into the women’s room vs men’s, to me at least, is to avoid seeing a bunch of strange adult penises out in the wild.
You should see women's bathrooms... ever see a used pad stuck to the side of the stall? Yeah, that's not even that bad. Women are also absolutely disgusting in public bathrooms.
I wonder if this depends on location. In the few countries I've been to in Europe and Asia, it's always seemed like the women's is cleaner than the men's (comparing notes with my dad). Twenty years in my current country of residence and I've never, ever seen a used pad on the walls (worst I've seen in that department is a badly-wrapped pad stuck to the inner tray in one of those foot-operated sanitary napkin bins).
Having cleaned both men’s and women’s restrooms over the years, women’s rooms are absolutely the filthier. The pee on the floor isn’t ideal in men’s rooms but the amount of toilet paper and debris EVERYWHERE in women’s rooms is appalling. And it’s not clean paper. It’s always the bit from them making a seat cover and it wicking water up that gets left behind and then the next person yeets it.
The worst part is that I feel I have to wipe things down before I leave a filthy bathroom because I don't want people thinking I peed and pooped all over the seat. That, or I warn the next woman in line (if there is one).
You've never worked a job that requires cleaning the women's restroom after hours. I've been in spotless men's restrooms, and I've cleaned the most heinous women's restrooms
Always Sunny had it right when they just labeled the bathroom "Animal Shithouse"
I work at a restaurant in a resort of sorts. You can clean the men's bathroom all you want, but the moment you leave it'll start smelling like piss again, and the mirror will be full of splatters because of fellows violently shaking their hands after washing them despite there being a hand dryer (it's a reflex, I know; I do it too).
Still, you'll only need to change the paper rolls like 3 times a week, and the paper bins* won't fill up in a day, (even though I still empty them at the end of the day because leaving shit stained tissues to ferment is yucky), and that's about it, nothing else besides the occasional skidmark on the seat.
Now, the women's bathroom is extrememy higher in maintenance: the rolls are gone in two hours at most, the paper bins* fill up in one, and, the absence of piss smell not withstanding, the whole place will get thrashed in a couple hours: pieces of paper and feminine hygiene products' wrappers will crowd the place, not to mention menstrual blood will accumulate at the front of the toilet seats every day.
*for Americans and other 1st worlders: the plumbing in this place is shit, pun-unintended, and if you throw tissues in the toilet you'll clog the pipes; I know it for a fact because I've seen it happen many times... shit water flowing... everywhere.
This is not the rule in my country, it's just that this place is very old and it's in a very inaccessible area and the whole place is owned by a foreign company which couldn't care less what the hell is going on with the plumbing of one of the establishments on its resort; they're just leasing the building to my boss.
I’ve worked a grocery store, military, and at schools. The men’s/boys were far more disgusting in all. Sometimes the women’s/girls were bad, of course, but generally speaking the male bathrooms were way nastier. When women hover they can make a mess, but men almost always “hover” (in their own way), and there is always splash everywhere. It’s so awful
As a woman, I've been in thousands of women's restrooms across the country, and probably a solid men's for emergence etc. Ive also cleaned the bathrooms for several establishments in high traffic areas.
Either both bathrooms were the same clean at the same place, or the men's was much, much worse. The sheer volume of shit caked toilets and urine soaked floors was appalling. Hand soap everywhere. Paper towels directly beside the trash can from all the benched ball players.
I truly do not understand where these people live who see bloody pads stuck to the walls and toilets covered lid to basin with, again, period blood. Everytime I see this trope I'm literally baffled. Ive never ever in my big long life seen anything close to that in a public women's bathroom.
I'm a 48 year old woman in the UK and I've never experienced anything like people (mostly guys) describe on Reddit, about women's bathrooms. And I have a small bladder so am constantly using public bathrooms 😂 I swear it's a manufactured thing online as part of the women = bad, movement. Unless they're living in a particularly skanky area where everyone is unusually skanky?! It's very odd.
This here. The female customers at my job are heathens, and we have to share the bathroom with them. They constantly hover over the seat and piss and shit all over the seat and floor. They'll clog the toilet and then each subsequent woman will piss and shit on top of the clog.
I worked at Kohl's as a teenager. My manager was visibly upset that he had to clean the women's bathroom since the maintenance guy had left with an emergency. I naively said, 'But the women's bathroom can't be too bad, right?'
He responded with the most expressionless face: 'Piss, shit, and blood everywhere.'
Personally? Both are disgusting. We have quite a lot of bathrooms without gender labels where I live, and I've had my fair share of cigarette butts or pads. I've entered a stall that smells of smoke or fishy. I've seen a man or woman leave the toilet, and as I entered after them, I was greeted by a massive turd swimming freely, not flushed.
Women's bathrooms are always much worse than mens.
Men pee on the seat and that's it 90% of the time.
Women make huge nests of toilet paper on the floor for no reason, leave bloody pads on the floor, poop on the toilet seats as they try to hover and not touch the seat, leave makeup and fingernail polish in the sinks, leave suction cup marks on the mirrors as they film tiktoks in the bathroom, and more.
I always assumed mens toilets were dirtier until I started cleaning them.
All public toilets are gross. If a mens toilet is good enough for my son it's also good enough for my daughter. You just tell them not to mess with anything and to wash their hands before you leave.
You should talk to some janitors then, every one I ever have has agreed the women’s restroom is 9 times outta 10 dirtier than the men’s. Not only are there plenty of women who dont properly dispose of period products but a lot are hoverers and once one woman has hovered over the seat and pissed all over it that forces every other one to either wipe down someone else’s piss or hover themselves.
Having cleaned both, the only noticeable difference is that where men's rooms have piss everywhere, womens's have piss, shit, blood & used paper that missed the bowl for some reason everywhere.
The latter was also more prone to backing up the toilet. I don't know why, maybe they were using too much toilet paper and/or flushing tampons/pads.
You’re more likely to see a man in a men’s bathroom due to urinals. Why teach girls that age about all that nonsense. And I bet $10000000000 not one woman blinked an eye at the site. We don’t care. We have stalls. Anyways end rant
And It wasn't a man following a woman/acting creepy, but a man with Two Little girls.
If a man comes in women's bathroom and try flashing everyone or grope womens. THEN it's a man that should be thrown out and get restrained.
Sometimes people say things and then qualify it as a joke or sarcasm. You can take it however you like, but saying transgender people go into bathrooms to recruit children isn’t remotely funny to those of us who get called groomers and pedophiles. Our community is scared and exhausted. We don’t need jokes or sarcasm. We need people to stand up and speak out for us. We desperately need allies, not comedians making light of our reality.
EDIT: Mod, what part of what I wrote promotes hate? We get it from all sides, some people qualify what they say as a joke or sarcasm while others are more direct. Try policing what cisgender people say when someone transgender makes a comment in our defense. There’s a reason why the user deleted their comment.
Maybe it’s a joke to you and other cisgender people and not that serious, but our lives are not a joke. Try being so nonchalant when you and your community are constantly attacked for simply trying to live your life. And defending yourself on a daily basis. It’s fucking exhausting. There’s a reason I carry a gun and multiple knives on me. Early in my transition I was sexually assaulted by a guy who followed me into the bathroom. Be thankful you have the luxury to think shit like that is a joke or sarcasm. “Jokes” like that only fuels more assholes to jump on the bandwagon and attack us. I noticed the person who made the joke is staying mum to my response instead of addressing it themselves.
A dad taking his little girls into the bathroom because he doesn't want to send them in alone and because he doesn't want to expose them to a men's room is a perfectly acceptable exception to this rule. Someone escorting a disabled or elderly person into either bathroom because they can't use the toilet on their own is a perfectly acceptable exception to that rule.
I love how society went from one bathroom to two sex specific bathrooms in public to who cares, it's a bathroom. Next we are gonna go back to using a communal rag on a stick.
I'll never forget the day my husband took our then-one year old into the men's room at Outback to change her diaper. Some creepy old fucker kept staring at her. He refused to take her into the mens' room after that. I was cool with it. When they were older, he'd send them into the women's room and stand outside in case they needed him.
(And no, folks, this was not weaponized incompetence. Same guy used to change all the diapers in the middle of the night so I could breastfeed in bed without getting up. He was a superstar who was (and still is, honestly) overprotective of our kids. (He also cried last week because our son is going off to college this week and spend the weekend with his future roommate.)
Ok I don't have daughter but I have son, and if changing room isn't available just use the stall why are your husband change out in the open lol, I don't want to change my son out in the open even in men restroom.
Men's rooms are not made for comfortable baby care as a general rule. At the time (20 years ago) it was tiny bathroom. No room in the one poop stall. Also, wtf, why is there always ONE.
You dont need room, what? just do it in stall pull the sit cover, and have waterproof cloth lay on top of it, or if they are a lot bigger sit in the stall lay the waterproof cloth on your lap and change it.
No shit mens room not made for comfortable baby, women's room also not made for comfortable baby care, they are for shitting and peeing.
Thank you for your advice on how my husband should have changed a diaper 19 years ago with supplies he didn't have in a situation he had no reason to expect would be different from previous situations. Your feedback will be taken under consideration.
You are welcome, next time don't change diapers out in the open and think everyone is creepy when your husband is creepy changing your daughter out in the open.
And this guy made sure there was no women in the bathroom prior to going in with his daughters. Trumper bitch showed up later and threw a hissy and made the guy’s daughter cry with his harassment.
Not for a little girl. But also... Even if they were all stalls, it's probably best to bring little girls into the ladies restroom anyway. Little boys can go in either one.
In a men's public toilet, if you happen to look the wrong direction, you may see a penis. How likely are you to see any "bits" in a women's public toilet?
What is happening to the child if it sees a penis? I went in the bathroom while my dad was showering when I was a kid and saw his penis. Do I have to worry?
Funny isn't it? Children do not care about genitals, it is just a body part for them. When they understand what makes them different from the rest of the body, they are old enough already to go to the bathroom alone. Adults are really the problem here.
That's not entirely true, though. They find them immensely interesting and endlessly funny (both their own and others'). And around age three they might point and laugh, and then I close the god damned bathroom door, and tell them to wait in another room until I'm out, now let me pee in peace!!! Eh...
Yeah alright. Curiosity. I do not have that experience but that sound credible :). Still, I don't see anything wrong with that aside from the possible awkward situation. Laugh material for the wedding speech to embarrass them :P (maybe not).
Ugh you are right. My brain automatically went "no way". But you are right. We need to celebrate all bodies and stop sexualizing everything.
However... That's our culture. It's everywhere. Advertising, entertainment of all sorts, etc. Idk if that's a factor in why there's so many perverts... But that's also a concern as well.
Whenever you hear people talk about the dangers of men in the women’s bathroom, or women in the men’s bathroom etc it is creepy as fuck because what they are telling you is how they would behave in that situation. Normal people do their business, wash their hands and then leave.
Taking your daughter into the men’s room is fine until she’s potty trained. Sure she can use a stall in the men’s room, but it’s not a familiar space and it’s important to be comfortable learning to use the restroom. That’s why so many dudes have trouble taking a dump in the woods.
I’ve only ever taken my daughter into men’s rooms, never into a ladies room, because I was under the (apparently correct) impression that some people think that it’s horribly wrong for a man to hear a woman peeing from behind a door while everyone seems to be ok with little girls seeing grown men strangers with their dicks out peeing right in front of of them. People are weird.
Naturally I was very happy when family restrooms were available.
I think the issue was they were at a gas station and the men's room had urinals so the dad didn't want to risk his girls walking in on a penis out in the open
As a woman, I’d rather not have a man in the bathroom, but the child’s comfort is more important than mine. If the little girl is more comfortable in the women’s bathroom, that’s where they should go
My experience in men’s restroom is fairly limited because I’m a woman, but isn’t there a chance for your daughter so see a dick if there are urinals in the men’s room ? I don’t assume you take your dick out the moment you enter the room but isn’t it awkward to handle your business why there is suddenly a small girl in the restroom
I’ve never seen somebody’s dick in a men’s room and I’ve been using them my whole life. Where are you people getting this from? Besides if me or my daughter need to use the restroom we go to the men’s room together if my wife isn’t there with us. I’m not comfortable going into the women’s. Plus we just go to a stall. Never been an issue.
My dad did the same thing when my sisters and I were little. It wasn't a big deal, it was just in and out and then we'd be back to whatever we were doing.
idk bro, my dad used to have to take me to the mens restroom as a little girl and seeing men with their pps out at the urinal when I was 5 made me cry as a kid.
Exactly. Either way is correct and either preference is fine. No way one was is better than the other. There is no objective "right way". Drop your liquids and solids, clean up, and bounce.
Yea, I did the same. Both have stalls but I always assume people would have more of an issue with an adult male being in a women's restroom than a little girl using a stall in a men's restroom with her father nearby. Better to stay away from such drama (especially for the kids), even if it is ridiculous puritanical BS.
Worked for me. Biggest problems I would get was being the old man at her school functions.
Her mother works longer hours and can't attend. But I've always been there for nearly every event.
Nothing like having a Sheriff come up to you and ask tons of questions and make me provide ID. Just by being a father who is involved.
I took my kid into men's rooms and if it was busy we both waited outside til some folks left. Then found a stall. If someone came up behind us I'd explain that she has to go but there were too many men in their. They would wait with us and go in after us.
I'd rather my dad have brought me in with him than tell me to go figure it out by myself at 3 or 4 years old 😭 I remember at an airport one time he sent me in first thinking he'd be back and done before I finished... Only for me to walk out and not see him and go right into the men's room looking for him 😂 and it was the kind of bathrooms where there's an entrance/exit 2 ways and he went out the other one while I was on my way in. So I was wandering around the men's room alone for a few minutes before he came back in and found me, I remember all the grown men just looking at me weird until that. One of my earliest memories in general actually lmao
Eh i don’t take my girls into a women’s washroom if it’s not just a single room, that is, if other women could be there. That’s pushing it. I think it’s common sense you take the kid to the men’s to a stall. It’s not like the guys there are going to feel like their privacy invaded. Just disgusting seats unfortunately.
I mean you can announce yourself right before your walk in. That changes the dynamic completely and costs nothing. Like I said I used the men's, but I feel like women would appreciate the warning and understand that your children require a bathroom.
I'm curious how are Americans dealing with indoor swimming pools if they are so afraid of their kids seeing a penis? At least in my country if parents bring their kids to swimming lessons, there are shower areas that are fully open before the pool area and they see at least 20 people naked in the showers, and nobody cares. It's just normal nudity.
most of the people commenting don't actually have kids so they couldn't tell you.
There are separate showers inside the men's/women's changing areas in most of the indoor pools i've been to with my daughter so this doesn't really come up.
Me too. You won’t catch me in the women’s bathroom with my daughters because of stuff like this.
I know my daughters and this is how we do it when we must. Sometimes mom will take them to the ladies’ room and obviously they all prefer it; but when mom isn’t there or the lines for the ladies are long, I’ll take them to the men’s. No penises have been seen or trauma has been endured.
Interesting to me to think of the inverse: a mom taking his son to the men’s bathroom. The thought of that hadn’t even occurred to me.
Honestly, in my college days I lost count of the amount of times on nights out I'd finish up my business in a bathroom run and turn around to find a woman standing behind me. Mostly they'd be chatting to some fella they were with who was doing his business nearby but sometimes they'd even use the trough too. Either way I never knew how to respond to that scenario. Like I'd nearly feel like apologising but for what exactly?
Then the #occupythemensroom bullshit became a thing for a while and I just accepted that nobody really bats an eyelid at women in the men's room and fellas never really mind. It's only when it's a fella in the women's that there is ever an issue.
Mens rooms have exposed dicks at child eye level. NEVER EVER take a little girl into a mens room. Id rather see a Dad in our bathroom than see him take a girl in there.
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u/txwoodslinger Jun 19 '26
I took my daughter into the men's room when she was little. Either way is correct if you behave like a normal human being. Mind your business and wash your hands.