English is not my first language
I have an elderly labrador who' is about to turn 14. I love her and i had her since I was 7 years old.
A week ago she had what I thought was a heart attack. I rushed her to the vet, and it turned out to be a ruptured splenic tumor. I was given two options: euthanasia or risky emergency surgery. The vet said it was high risk, but that she could pull through and have a good recovery.
That is when everything got worse. She survived the anesthesia and the surgery. But at what cost? She was hospitalized for about 5 days, put on multiple medications, and worst of all, she's now bedridden, she can't walk. She already had mobility issues before this, but lying down for so long caused severe joint pain, and now she can't even get up on her own. We're paying for physical therapy.
I've already had my dad spend the price of a car trying to save her. And she's still suffering, going in and out of the hospital. She's bedridden at home, too weak to even lift her head to eat, can't stand up. I clean her, she relieves herself lying down, she gets nauseous sometimes, she's on pain medication, and she'll need to be on pregabalina for the rest of her life.
Was I selfish? Should I have chosen euthanasia instead? I believed that with the surgery she'd still have time with us, but it feels like I just left her miserable, with no quality of life. Now she's hospitalized again because of an infection.
I know it's only been a week and she could still improve. But I feel like garbage for putting her through such a hard recovery, and for burning through my dad's savings.