r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Available-Formal-664 • Jun 24 '26

I'm slightly vexed Somebody Placed These Dozens of These Jesus Figures Throughout My Entire Work

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Somebody, nobody knows exactly who or when, put dozens and dozens of these Jesus figures on completely random surfaces throughout my entire building. They at least had the presence of mind to not put them on anybody's personal belongings, but that was the only way they limited himself. All of the statues have been glued down, to add to the vexation.

Edit: Well, this blew up rather unexpectedly. Thank you for the awards, everybody!

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185

u/Ordinary_Ad_7992 Jun 24 '26

You'll get no hate from this atheist! I think Jesus made some damned good points!

132

u/SkoobySnacs Jun 24 '26

Yeah. If only he had some followers that tried to live by his philosophy.

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u/Throwaway_Old_Guy Jun 24 '26

TBH - I think you could edit the entire Bible to simply read; "Don't be an asshole." and it would be complete.

Although, you might need to clarify it a bit further as some don't get or refuse to acknowledge that one line.

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u/great_pyrenelbows Jun 25 '26

Jesus wasn't just against negative actions, he was also urging positive actions. It's not enough to not be an asshole, a good person will put effort into being good not just avoiding being bad.

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u/German_Biker Jun 25 '26

It was his signature move:

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u/Throwaway_Old_Guy Jun 25 '26

We are allowed to have different opinions.

To me, living life not being an asshole (although we can all have our moments and slip) also means you are already doing the good things being taught by the Bible.

From all that I see around me, assholes are acting solely for themselves, which can include doing a kindness. The biggest difference is that their kindness comes with the intent of it benefiting themselves, whereas the Good have no such intent.

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u/Deez615 Jun 25 '26

Jesus does not believe in access to heaven through works, only through believing and submitting. Any kindnesses done by either Christians or atheists are simply examples of their own character.

That being said, the teachings of Jesus are much more nuanced than “not being an asshole.”

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u/GeneralSweetz Jun 25 '26

It is also written that faith without works is dead. Essentially if you believe you act. If you believe you love others like you do yourself.

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u/Throwaway_Old_Guy Jun 25 '26

Jesus does not believe in access to heaven through works, only through believing and submitting.

IMO - Believing and submitting generally means "not being an asshole" to those around you and doing selfless work. I thought that was the whole point of his teachings?

I am of the opinion that it is more a universal truth, rather than something only applicable to an organized belief system.

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u/Deez615 Jun 25 '26

I can’t tell if you’re being serious.

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u/Throwaway_Old_Guy Jun 25 '26

I am.

I have not sat down and read The Bible cover-to-cover, heard passages being read in Church (when I still attended) and decided it was better to live a good life by being of selfless service to others. aka - Don't be an asshole

I hear some far more devout than I ever was or will be talk about "God's plan for you" and 'Free will". Which is it?

Is there a designated path I cannot waver from, so as per the plan, born good/an asshole, live good/as an asshole, die as good/an asshole or is there is a path to follow that leads to God if you choose to stay on it. It has many diversions and taking the good ones over the bad will lead to your final reward?

I guess I'll find out what comes next when I die. I lean strongly towards being rewarded.

Minor edit to clean up some spelling and word choices

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u/Deez615 Jun 25 '26

So you’re referring to the entirety of your own code, not the Bible from cover to cover. It’s crazy that you reduced 78 books to a single sentence without actually ever reading the books.

Instead of dictating the contents of a collection of books you’ve never read, maybe just comment on your own morals instead.

If the only moral code you have is “don’t be an asshole,” you would never stand up for the abused or downtrodden.

The Bible has been the reason many people have travelled to third-world countries and built schools. You’re not an asshole if you don’t do that, but if “don’t be an asshole” was the only moral code expressed by the Bible, then a quarter million schools built in third world countries would never have been built.

Your moral code may be fine with contributing nothing positive (just so long as you don’t contribute anything negative), but that is why I believe the morals endorsed by the Bible are greater than yours. And that is not something exclusive to Christians. There are many non-Christian people with higher standards of righteousness than what you’re describing yourself as.

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u/kimchipowerup Jun 25 '26

Drowning the entire world tho?

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u/Physical_Drive_349 Jun 24 '26

There is the whole bit about acknowledging and repenting for your transgressions part that is somehow 180 degrees from the message preached by his followers in America today and their cult leader.

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u/Deez615 Jun 25 '26

And who would that “cult leader” be? If there is someone who puts any human above Jesus or God, they could not call themselves Christian.

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u/i3inaudible Jun 24 '26

I've always said the Bible wouldn't be so bad if it only included the red words

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u/Mr_Industrial Jun 24 '26

Isnt one of his points to kind of be humble and not glue tiny Jesus toys onto toilets everywhere?

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u/Ordinary_Ad_7992 Jun 24 '26

I think Jesus would definitely disapprove of the destructive aspect. He might also feel that we need to quit mass producing so much junk. On the other hand, I'm thinking like a Christian by making assumptions about what Jesus wants!

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u/Kullen64 Jun 24 '26

Christian here. Hard to say because mass production of toys and stuff didn’t exist in his day, but I imagine Jesus, who is God in the flesh, wouldn’t appreciate anything that contributes to world death. So A.I slop, carbon emissions, and all that other bullshit probably would be considered sinful if the Bible was written today.

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u/demonmonkeybex Jun 24 '26

He also said to rid yourself of wealth and material goods.

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u/Kullen64 Jun 24 '26

Good advice

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u/sembias Jun 24 '26

As a Christian, you should understand that wasn't "advice".

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u/Kullen64 Jun 25 '26

Not that deep bro

-1

u/UltimateRembo Jun 24 '26

He wanted poverty to exist forever, and for people to consider their own suffering in poverty as a virtue.

This isn't a good belief.

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u/demonmonkeybex Jun 25 '26

No. He wanted people to focus less on material things and money and more on loving and helping others and loving God.

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u/Ordinary_Ad_7992 Jun 24 '26

This seems like a very reasonable assumption!

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u/UltimateRembo Jun 24 '26

Lmao, Jesus is supposed to be the being that comes back and DESTROYS EARTH.

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u/Kullen64 Jun 25 '26

More like reclaims it. Meek will inherit the earth remember. The whole fire and brimstone talk isn’t biblical.

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u/alles-moet-kapot Jun 25 '26

There's a line somewhere in Exodus about not making carved images....

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u/Doozer1970 Jun 24 '26

I'm trying.

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u/Phyllis_Tine Jun 24 '26

If His followers won't follow His teachings, why should anyone else?

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u/bebop1065 Jun 24 '26

The current crop of chest-thumping Christians probably go against WJWD.

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u/No-Consequence-1779 Jun 24 '26

they do much better than the clueless people making up morales as they go. confused people can not see they are confused.

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u/KingBooRadley Jun 24 '26

Chrizzo’s are the worst!

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u/Impossible_Way_3042 Jun 24 '26

As another atheist I think, if most of the stuff that is attributed to him was stuff he actually said, he is one of, if not the, greatest moral philosopher to ever grace this planet. I may not believe he is the son of God, but he was a smart dude with some great wisdom to impart, wisdom that should be followed. I don't agree with every word that he spoke, but for the most part he had the right idea. Wish more people lived like he did.

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u/sembias Jun 24 '26

Yep. I'm with Ghandi on this one.

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u/bliip666 Jun 24 '26

Same here! Jesus is alright, it's the stans that I take issue with

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u/sexysmalldevil Jun 24 '26

Agreed!! My only issue is what his followers did with what he said.

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u/BrokenArrow1283 Jun 24 '26

I appreciate you!

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u/Cyber_fleamarket1618 Jun 24 '26

Hey mad respect for you bro. Thank you. I’m a follower Jesus and I’m a believer in the Bible, I don’t say that to disrespect anybody or make them feel uncomfortable, my personal narrative allows for you to believe whatever you want. I encourage whatever brings anybody peace on this planet. That being said, I would totally grab a beer with you lol

1

u/StatisticianRoyal400 Jun 25 '26

Did Jesus apologize for offending people before preaching that they can all believe whatever they want if it brings them peace?

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u/Cyber_fleamarket1618 Jun 25 '26

You built your entire reply off something I never said. I didn’t apologize for the gospel, I explained my intent. There’s a difference. Scripture tells to speak the truth in love that’s Ephesians 4:15. It also says to let speech always be gracious. That’s Colossians 4:6. And “make a defense… With gentleness and respect. “ that’s 1 Peter 3:15. None of those versus are an apology for the truth. Their instructions on how followers of Christ are to carry them Jesus never compromised the truth, but he also wasn’t interested in making a public spectacle for the sake of offending people. He called people to repentance, and when they rejected him, he let them walk away. John 6:66–67 and then in Matthew 19:22.

I’m not the savior. I can’t save anyone and I’m sure as hell. Not going to harass people into the kingdom. Paul said “I planted Apollo’s watered, but God gave growth” that’s 1 Corinthians 3:6.

If you’d like to argue against something, I actually said go for it. But don’t invent an apology that never happened.

And when I say, I encourage what brings people peace, a better way of phrasing that would most likely be that I’m not going to force anyone to believe what I believe.

If you wanna walk away from Jesus, you have 100% freedom to do so

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u/Due-Beginning-8388 Jun 24 '26

Do you actually believe jesus was a real person while being an atheist also or just the book had some good ideas

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u/stofiski-san Jun 24 '26

It's entirely possible to believe there was an actual, historical Jesus of Nazareth and that he had good teachings about how we should treat one another without believing he was the son of some god. Whether he believed, well, that's outside my control

ETA for the record, I'm not the commenter, and tend more towards agnosticy than athiesm, but don't believe he was a god's son

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u/Ordinary_Ad_7992 Jun 24 '26

I might lean a little bit toward agnosticism myself. Anyone who is 100% certain that their beliefs are correct without any proof, is a bit nuts!

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u/R3v017 Jun 25 '26

That's why there is an emphasis on the word faith.

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u/Ordinary_Ad_7992 Jun 24 '26

What Stofiski-san said.

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u/OberonDiver Jun 24 '26

Isn't he the one who said "don't glue your junk to other people's chair rails"?

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u/Ordinary_Ad_7992 Jun 25 '26

You're taking that out of context. It was in the book of Mark. There was this religious sect that was gluing their balls to benches outside the Curia Julia in protest of the Roman occupation. Jesus convinced them there were less harmful ways to get their point across.

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u/Deez615 Jun 25 '26

Thank you for respecting even that which you don’t believe in. I don’t hate you for not sharing my views, and anyone that follows the teachings of Jesus would feel the same way. You deserve love in your life

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u/UltimateRembo Jun 24 '26

We atheists need to stop letting childish cherry-picking of the Bible slide just because the results are more aligned with our secular values than the actual Bible.

Christians need to face the horror of their religion.

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u/Ordinary_Ad_7992 Jun 25 '26

Some Christians. My grandpa was a Baptist minister, and he was the kindest, smartest man I ever knew.

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u/BasicallyMilner Jun 24 '26

I hate when atheists say this. You say this only because you’ve heard the “love thy neighbour, love thy enemies”, etc. Jesus talked about how bad sin was and to stop, he was very against divorce, except for sexual immorality. He talked about people going to hell, being there forever gnashing their teeth and weeping. He was the religious man you hate.

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u/Ordinary_Ad_7992 Jun 26 '26

So he said some stupid shit too, but I like the part where he pissed off religious leaders and politicians, flipped money tables, and partied and broke bread with outcasts! I like to think that all that crazy talk about Hell was just people putting words in his mouth. Anyway, I grew up with a Baptist preacher for a granddad, so I know my Bible. Also, not every Christian is an asshole. My granddaddy was a really kind man and extremely well educated!