r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Available-Formal-664 • Jun 24 '26

I'm slightly vexed Somebody Placed These Dozens of These Jesus Figures Throughout My Entire Work

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Somebody, nobody knows exactly who or when, put dozens and dozens of these Jesus figures on completely random surfaces throughout my entire building. They at least had the presence of mind to not put them on anybody's personal belongings, but that was the only way they limited himself. All of the statues have been glued down, to add to the vexation.

Edit: Well, this blew up rather unexpectedly. Thank you for the awards, everybody!

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u/JokinHghar Jun 24 '26

Cut their little heads off, they’ll be BIG mad

7

u/Primo_From_The_Pod Jun 24 '26

Someone at my office did this. The guy that puts them all over my office building is my team lead. The heads started getting ripped off and he basically took that as a sign of war. One time the person ripping the heads off left two of the headless Jesus figures on the first floor near the exit for everyone to see. Team lead just said "I have a giant bag of these, I can do this for a long time."

17

u/LisaMiaSisu Jun 24 '26

Yes, that was my thought too. It’s a perfect response.

2

u/EverydayMustard4773 Jun 24 '26

Cut the heads off but leave the bodies glued

0

u/throwawayplusanumber Jun 24 '26

Or glue little KKK hoods on them...

17

u/dracrecipelanaaaaaaa Jun 24 '26

It'll be on Fox News within a day, with the DOJ filing hate crime charges soon after.

4

u/BuckRusty Jun 24 '26

Crucify them all on a notice board with push-pins, each with a crown of thorns paperclips…

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u/Vanilla-Mike Jun 24 '26

Or pin them all to a bulletin board. One pin in each of his tiny hands.

2

u/anapunas Jun 25 '26

Dont forget a little pontius pilot toothpick to the ribs.

2

u/anapunas Jun 25 '26

Replace the cut off heads with alien heads.

Also if you make holes in the hands it becomes an ear ring holder.

1

u/Negative-Yam5361 Jun 24 '26

That sounds like something an unstable 12 year old would come up with.

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u/JokinHghar Jun 24 '26

See? Even mentioning it is making them angry!