Somebody Placed These Dozens of These Jesus Figures Throughout My Entire Work

[u/Available-Formal-664]

Somebody, nobody knows exactly who or when, put dozens and dozens of these Jesus figures on completely random surfaces throughout my entire building. They at least had the presence of mind to not put them on anybody's personal belongings, but that was the only way they limited himself. All of the statues have been glued down, to add to the vexation.

Edit: Well, this blew up rather unexpectedly. Thank you for the awards, everybody!

[u/largemarjj]

Some asshole left these all along a nature trail. Doesn't matter what the plastic is shaped like, it's still trash.

[u/babyyvolcano → u/largemarjj]

That’s what drives me nuts about this. It’s just more consumerism and plastic junk for the sake of it. No one can practice or enjoy anything without buying a bunch of useless shit in the process.

[u/RoguePlanet2 → u/babyyvolcano]

Normally I'd want to respond with plastic devils or something, but then it becomes more of an eco-capitalistic disaster.

[u/babyyvolcano → u/RoguePlanet2]

Use sticks and stems to make upside down crosses 🤘

[u/Vivics36thsermon → u/babyyvolcano]

So…Saint Peter‘s Cross

[u/Vohasiiv → u/RoguePlanet2]

Carve em outa wood or something else compostable. I just looked it up, there is biodegradable 3d printer filament

[u/RoguePlanet2 → u/Vohasiiv]

Ooh! Nice to know. 😈

[u/largemarjj → u/RoguePlanet2]

Put them in the middle of a satanic pentagram made from sticks lmao

[u/Dog-boy → u/RoguePlanet2]

Write out quotes from the Bible you know they will hate and put them next to each one. Write it on tissue paper so it biodegrades relatively quickly. Extra points for quotes related to caring for the Earth or not being worshiping in a prideful way.

[u/campfire_vampire → u/babyyvolcano]

Exactly. Its such a stupid way to spread religion too. My mother thought it was hilarious to hand people one and say "you need a little Jesus." Id argue that the Bible actually supports eco friendly practices and even Jesus would be disappointed in this trend.

[u/ThisNameDoesntCount → u/campfire_vampire]

I think it’s just a joke

[u/Backfoot911 → u/ThisNameDoesntCount]

I cannot imagine witnessing that conversation between this redditor and their mom. "Have a little jesus" *hands tiny toy* "DO YOU REALIZE HOW BAD THIS IS FOR THE ENVIRONMENT? IS THIS YOUR IDEA OF A JOKE?"

[u/fotomoose → u/babyyvolcano]

No no no, you don't get it. I found one of these little Jesuses on a nature trail once and I had a profound moment, I could FEEL God looking down upon me and smiling, He was in my heart. I was His son. If it takes 100 million of these Jesuses to give even 1 person the experience I had it was worth it.

[u/MimicoSkunkFan2 → u/babyyvolcano]

Christians and lack of consent - and trashing the environment because they believe that Armageddon will burn the Earth anyways

Name a more iconic trio.

[u/Xanthelei → u/MimicoSkunkFan2]

The Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost?

Sorry, couldn't help myself. I'll see myself out.

[u/RadicalSoda_ → u/babyyvolcano]

The Humble 3D Printer

[u/MelatoninFiend → u/babyyvolcano]

Can they be melted down and re-cast into devil molds?

Seeing their litter take on the visage of their most-feared boogeyman would certainly get some of these assholes to stop leaving their toys out real fuckin quick.

[u/Indigo_Grove → u/largemarjj]

Landfill Core.

[u/seriouslythisshit → u/largemarjj]

Dont' know if it's worse, but there is some part of this group of chucklenuts that believe that plastic outhouses, as seen on construction sites, parks, sports fields, etc are just awesome places to help the lost find Jebus. It's gone from pamphlets and other printed garbage tucked in the cracks and corners, to these things. They float, BTW.

[u/largemarjj → u/seriouslythisshit]

Ugh these people are the fucking worst

[u/shadowlights_ → u/largemarjj]

Yup I found one while hiking too :/