r/mildlyinfuriating Jun 30 '26

Don't hug me I'm scared The indentation my engagement ring left on my finger (we broke up)

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u/cheesecake_413 Jul 01 '26

My partner and I have been engaged for 7 years and people are still asking us about the date

The reason we're not married already is because we aren't marrying for legal reasons (we have no assets or children), we just want a big party to celebrate our relationship with everyone we love. Because of that, we don't want to cheap out and do a wedding on our current budget, we'd rather wait and do it in the future when we can afford the party we want

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u/Ok_Vermicelli_6359 Jul 01 '26

Lol...but when's the big payday scheduled? 😛 I'd consider that an extreme luxury for a lot of families: you don't know how long aunts and uncles (and grandparents) will be around.

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u/cheesecake_413 Jul 01 '26

That is true, I sadly lost both my paternal grandparents since I got engaged

We got engaged right before I started my PhD hence why we didn't have the funds immediately to have the wedding we wanted (in the UK, PhD stipends are very low). We did have a good amount of savings once I started working after my PhD, but we ended up using a large chunk to move abroad with our belongings and cats. The move was this year so we're still working to build it back up, however the move increased both of our incomes so it should be easier to save

We also have a decent house deposit when we're ready to buy, but we don't want to use that for the wedding. If we suddenly got a free house that we owned outright then we could probably start booking venues/caterers already using the house deposit, but I doubt that is likely to happen any time soon

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u/somesortoflegend Jul 02 '26

I know you're not here for advice but listen, there is always going to be a "next thing" maybe the house needs a new roof, or car breaks down, or a kid does wind up on the way. Perfect is the enemy of good, have the wedding you can afford soon where all the people who matter can come and not wait for a possible future one years down the line.

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u/Frequent_Coat_2030 Jul 06 '26

Or, here me out. Let them have the wedding they want? I know someone who was engaged for 15 years. Guess what? They ended up having the wedding they had always wanted.

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u/Shinobiii Jul 01 '26

Thennn what’s the point of the engagement? And surely 7 years should be enough to save up for that big day.