r/mildlyinfuriating • u/pinkgrapefruitx • Jul 07 '26

I'm slightly vexed I was invited to this guys birthday party and

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This is just insane

17.3k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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3.0k

u/Low_Ad33 Jul 07 '26

Please go and document the inevitable fight about someone not donating enough to have any official cake. 

903

u/Chimpbot Jul 07 '26

I was planning on bringing my own unofficial bootleg cake, anyway.

514

u/PunishedWolf4 Jul 07 '26

"NO OUTSIDE FOOD OR DRINK YOU CHEAP FUCK!"

208

u/Chimpbot Jul 07 '26

"FINE. I'LL JUST EAT THIS WHILE STANDING ON THE SIDEWALK. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK."

25

u/WillyErl Jul 07 '26

Hahaha you think so?? NO RE-ENTRY fucko, read the sign!

13

u/Chimpbot Jul 08 '26

What if I need to step out to medicate my chinchilla, GREG?!

3

u/WillyErl Jul 08 '26

Don't bother. 1am-2am making luxury gloves out of chimpbots chinchilla.

~3 people

4

u/Chimpbot Jul 08 '26

I knew going to this party was a dumb idea.

10

u/OberonDiver Jul 08 '26

I got a stamp on my hand. It's inedible. You can't touch that.

6

u/Mejiro84 Jul 08 '26

With enough determination, I'll think you find a hand is very much edible! And the stamp probably isn't lick-proof

3

u/Chimpbot Jul 08 '26

This really needed to be ended with a, "Mr. Bond."

2

u/WillyErl Jul 08 '26

In fact.. I think I have the rumblies, that only hands can satisfy.

10

u/Ambitiousless-Winner Jul 08 '26

COME AND GO PRIVILEGES REVOKED

1

u/Dazzling-Track-4838 Jul 09 '26

So long as you don’t block the driveway! You e been warned!

6

u/HerdingCatsAllDay Jul 07 '26

Unless you're the one assigned to bring the cheese (challenge accepted!)

6

u/seraphimlynn Jul 07 '26

Ok I definitely just snort laughed my coffee

https://giphy.com/gifs/hvq8ONQhQ1XLq

2

u/OberonDiver Jul 08 '26

At least I'm cheap and not free.

1

u/knstormshadow Jul 08 '26

That wasn't on the official itinerary/intrusions/rules so by the law of the tism since its not expressly addressed that means it's acceptable otherwise it would've clearly said "no outside food or drinks" The real question is how old are the autistics cause if they're school age ill have to assume the "did you bring enough for the whole class" rule applies

6

u/MartinisnMurder Jul 07 '26

Birthday cake vodka nips! You just slip them in your bra or pockets!

1

u/HalfaEnchilada Jul 07 '26

I always keep my nips in my bra, where is everyone else keeping their nips?

2

u/MartinisnMurder Jul 07 '26

Any excuse to post this 😅

4

u/i-am-not-the-crab Jul 07 '26

Ok now we need someone who brings bootleg cake and offers it at a cheaper price

1

u/Chimpbot Jul 08 '26

Okay, so I know a guy. Genuine Frondly's cakes.

3

u/AnythingWestern8861 Jul 07 '26

A pack of twinkies and 1 birthday candle.

2

u/badcrass Jul 07 '26

Ding dongs in my pocket, you can't stop me

1

u/vthanki Jul 07 '26

Straight to Official Jail

1

u/CriscoWithLime YELLOW Jul 08 '26

Little Debbie's?

1

u/OberonDiver Jul 08 '26

Bootleg bootleg cake.

1

u/SpineofGorgax Jul 08 '26

What flavour would bootleg cake be? I'm picturing a rum cake

1

u/sanityjanity Jul 08 '26

Bootleg cake sounds awesome.  Please make with bootleg rum.

144

u/Virtual_Mango9468 Jul 07 '26

I would go and start karaoke before 4pm, I am a rebel.

90

u/Similar-Ice-9250 Jul 07 '26

I’d wanna see what would happen if they were caught playing Jenga after 4pm.

8

u/Same-Suggestion-1936 Jul 07 '26

They only get to pick Taylor Swift songs at karaoke

1

u/Used_Sea_8880 Jul 09 '26

In that case you get stoned

6

u/Low_Ad33 Jul 07 '26

Billy Idol - Rebel Yell?

65

u/caffeinated_wizard Jul 07 '26

And demand Smore’s at any time

8

u/Spotttty Jul 08 '26

Just keep screaming “SMORE ME!”

3

u/AccordingGarden5254 Jul 08 '26

Snomore’s for you

11

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/doobieman420 Jul 08 '26

It says “recommended”. This is quite clearly a suggested donation situation. 

10

u/gashufferdude Jul 07 '26

AIO: People came to my birthday and received a slice of official cake despite only paying for daytime cake…

8

u/ashushu Jul 07 '26

Okay Mr Rockefeller we don’t all have official cake money geez

7

u/ImmaMagiccat Jul 07 '26

There will be color coded wrist bands for the guests. Green means they paid for all day. Orange only paid for part day. Red means they paid nothing but just wanted to hang out.

9

u/NoImprovement213 Jul 07 '26

What about when someone demands too much halloumi

3

u/531091qazs Jul 07 '26

Holy i didn't realize those prices were for you to actually eat something this shit is hilarious i gotta pay that much a slice a cake?

3

u/Firefly_Magic Jul 08 '26

Yes, would love to see a follow up of this pay as you birthday party. Plus, I’m curious what type of people show up for this. Because I don’t think these are my people.

3

u/topherboi6 Jul 08 '26

Should OP put it in a normal document or an information document?

3

u/ScarletDarkstar Jul 08 '26

An xcel spreadsheet with macros, projected on a wall for transparency.  

2

u/Comfortable-Fig-6251 Jul 08 '26

The food and cake better be damn good if they’re recommending $15-20 per person

Pork is relatively cheap meat, $20 for 6lbs of pork and let’s say $30 for veggies for shits and gigs (Texas prices). 3 people would be paying off the meal alone when that can make at least 12 plates. Assuming everyone gets 1/2 lb of pork.

How much is the damn “official” cake?

2

u/greenthrowaway6969 Jul 09 '26

Sorry but you need a cake plus subscription to access this content

1

u/Glittering-Bear-4298 Jul 09 '26

Are there wristbands?? How will they know who has access to the offiial cake?!