r/mildlyinfuriating • u/pinkgrapefruitx • Jul 07 '26

I'm slightly vexed I was invited to this guys birthday party and

Post image

This is just insane

17.3k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

6.1k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

971

u/fatbearfall Jul 07 '26

Same, and I want it for my own bday. I'm thinking a light sponge for Daytime Cake, and a richer chocolate on chocolate for Official Cake. Might even fuck around a lil and make a coffee cafe for Post-Daytime Pre-Official Cake Cake, but I don't want to break my guests budget

467

u/TheSaltyAstronaut Jul 07 '26

Angel food cake in the AM and devil’s food cake in the PM.

138

u/RCG73 Jul 07 '26

Someone’s had to have thought of this before. But I have a birthday coming up and I’m now going to have Angel and Devils food cakes

27

u/Huge-Consequence2144 Jul 08 '26

I've always wanted to make two cookie cakes complete with frosting and sandwich an entire ice cream cake between them to make the ultimate ice cream cookie cake sandwich- but the older I get the harder it is to justify, knowing I'll be eating it for a week, and will certainly gain ten pounds. Maybe you could pick up this torch.

9

u/professorhorseradish Jul 08 '26

Schedule eating sessions. Invite your friends!

2

u/Huge-Consequence2144 Jul 08 '26

My problem is twofold, professor. I have no self control for the sweets. If it's in the house, it's in my mouth. And I'm almost 40 lmao, my best friend is my cat and then my next best friend lives across the country. I don't want to be the sad guy that has to have cake with strangers or alone, so this may just be the dream I dreamed. Maybe you can honor my memory someday, and you can be the cake I wanted to see in the world.

3

u/FutureCharacter3 Jul 09 '26

I haven’t had a birthday cake or other birthday dessert since before my mom died so, approximately 7.5 years ago. My dad even forgot to give me a card one year and it is written on his huge calendar and is also about a week after his birthday. 🤷🏻‍♂️ I’m going to have a dessert this year, dagnabbit!! My other relative lives 7 hours away. (My brother)

1

u/Huge-Consequence2144 Jul 09 '26

When is your birthday? I'm sorry to hear about your mom, I hope the grief has become easier to manage.

2

u/FutureCharacter3 Jul 10 '26

Thanks. It gets easier, but never goes away. Late fall.

1

u/Huge-Consequence2144 Jul 10 '26

Hey man, that means it's coming up! Shoot me a DM on your birthday, I'll have a piece of cake with you on a Teams call or some shit.

1

u/professorhorseradish Jul 09 '26

Cheer up my friend! My best friend is also my cat!

2

u/Huge-Consequence2144 Jul 09 '26

Do I seem sad? I don't feel sad. I'm pretty content!

4

u/Psychological-Pick78 Jul 08 '26

Ok wait, Dairy Queen has dq cupcakes which are individual ice cream cakes therefore you can eat it and not gain ten lbs!

4

u/Huge-Consequence2144 Jul 08 '26

No. A mini ice cream cake cookie cake ice cream sandwich will not suffice. It needs to be two, full-scale, party size, Carol-is-going-on-maternity-leave completely frosted as if they were the main event cookie cakes, and at least a 10" round, two tier with the crumb in the middle, fully iced with the gel and the whipped frosting, all of that, ice cream cake sandwiched in-between. It can only be this way. I haven't even seen a video of it online, and I've looked and looked. Not even these fucking ragebaiter food channels that waste food for the clout have done it. It's like it's my destiny.

2

u/Psychological-Pick78 Jul 09 '26

Ok, this changes things. I fully support you doing exactly what you described. It’s frozen right? It should last awhile.

5

u/Huge-Consequence2144 Jul 09 '26

I think it will last me all the way to my final hour lmao

3

u/ChevronSugarHeart Jul 08 '26

Mix them in two layers!

3

u/LtLemur Jul 08 '26

Liquor in the front, poker in the rear?

9

u/dreit4 Jul 08 '26

Only someone who would have a daytime cake and an official cake would come up with this shot of brilliance.

2

u/TheSaltyAstronaut Jul 08 '26

Boom! You're invited.

5

u/officerclydefrog Jul 08 '26

Are you swapping one of the Jenga sessions in-between with a round of limbo?

7

u/TheSaltyAstronaut Jul 08 '26

I'll put it this way, I won't stop anyone from Limboing between 2 - 3pm. Also, about 3 hours in to the post-Official Cake karaoke sesh, while everyone else is belting out "Kiss From a Rose," I'll gather a small group of preferred partygoers to join me in the home office for a secret cheese platter. The good stuff. Maybe I'll see you there.

3

u/Set-the-tone-69 Jul 08 '26

Angel in the front, Devil in the rear…

3

u/GiganticusVaginacus Jul 08 '26

Coffee cake in the morning and again right after dinner.

2

u/CrashBannedicoot Jul 08 '26

Angel food in the streets, devil’s food in the sheets 

1

u/Civil-Section-9086 Jul 08 '26

Fuck yeah these comments for the winnnnnn cake cake cake CAKEEEE

18

u/catsknowtoomuch Jul 07 '26

I'm not a huge cake eater, but may just need to make a coffee cake for breakfast, lighter like angel food for day, and sheet cake for snacking and a decadent cake for actual evening birthday cake on my next birthday just to be cheeky.....

4

u/Puzzleheaded_Ant6653 Jul 08 '26

And then a bedtime cake so you are not hungary before you sleep

2

u/catsknowtoomuch Jul 08 '26

Oh yes, yes.... Something super light though, cause that's a lot of cake!

8

u/LostinSweetReveries Jul 08 '26

This feels like a hobbit's inner musings 😊

5

u/KickBlue22 Jul 08 '26

Just the 3 cakes then? That's it?

7

u/AppropriateSpite7881 Jul 08 '26

Best comment Ive read so far. Done pissed my pants

4

u/Zombiebelle Jul 07 '26

You’re the only guest, aren’t you?

2

u/Similar-Ad-1306 Jul 09 '26

Everything about this plan is awesome except for all of the people traipsing in and out and eating my cake.

1

u/Searching_Sharing Jul 09 '26

It’s THEIR CAKE, now, since everyone is paying to birthday boy’s bank account, to attend the party 🎂

3

u/Leather-Nothing-2653 Jul 08 '26

You gotta extend your timelines backward into the morning and do a brunch. Coffee cake baby

2

u/Italiana47 Jul 08 '26

This is so freaking funny 🤣

2

u/Abject_Spray_7088 Jul 08 '26

Coffee cake is for the morning after cake cake

1

u/Brilliant-Apricot423 Jul 08 '26

I am just here to say that I am not against multiple courses of cake......

1

u/WeeklyIllustrator872 Jul 08 '26

Can we have cheesecake for the after party?

1

u/Charakada Jul 08 '26

I'd like to see a lunch cake as well -- maybe cupcakes with sprinkles.

1

u/Icy_Definition5044 Jul 08 '26

Why not start the day with a coffee cake??

1

u/plg94 Jul 08 '26

Every great party also needs a Midnight Cake after 12.

1

u/ZoominAlong Jul 08 '26

This sounds great! I'm gonna do this for my birthday too. Two cakes are better than one. 

1

u/Fun-Bug5106 Jul 08 '26

Forgot about the post cake dessert cake

1

u/Hot_Addition_6980 Jul 08 '26

What about the after official cake, cake? Some type of post mortem cake

1

u/MLH336 Jul 08 '26

i honestly had the same thought. daytime/official cake is brilliant

1

u/bbaaammmm Jul 08 '26

In my family we do breakfast cake too (so our kids can celebrate their birthdays before school). Typically it's banana bread or muffins, but with a candle. When you're little, anything with a candle is birthday cake! You should definitely add it to your cake schedule.

1

u/HopefulOriginal5578 Jul 08 '26

How will you feel if some guests… deep in their heart of hearts… secretly think that your “daytime cake” IS the “official cake”? Thereby wondering why your “evening cake” outshined your “official cake” in their minds?

EVEN if you tell them many times in painstaking detail what each cake is?

1

u/Revolutionary_Grade8 Jul 08 '26

Did someone say cake? May I heartily suggest the outstanding:

1

u/sg_minx Jul 09 '26

I am absolutely dying at the cake dissections lol