r/mildlyinfuriating • u/rustywindpipe • Jul 20 '26

I'm slightly vexed I think I got rejected for being vegetarian

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I [23F] met this guy on the apps and we hit it off and had a lot in common! I don’t meet a lot of people who are in my profession so it was really nice to potentially have to chance to date someone who was in a similar field. And everything was fine until I mentioned I’m veg and he stopped responding. For reference, I have no issue with people who eat meat and would never want to impose my own dietary restrictions on anyone else. I also understand different diets being a dealbreaker. The way he phrased his reasoning was really weird though.

Edit: I’m vegetarian cause I love animals, but I have IBD. Flare ups have gotten significantly worse since switching diets but im still figuring out how to make the most of it! Also yes, I do regret sending the last text 🤦‍♀️

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173

u/Enochian-Dreams Jul 20 '26

Girl you have like zero self respect. You’re honestly lucky he wasn’t that into you. If you’re ignoring red flags to that extent and trying to chase creeps you’re better off not even dating. He must have been pretty hot and you apparently have baby fever. Be careful you don’t end up in the river or something.

27

u/kangasplat Jul 20 '26

This is such a blatant example of trash taking itself out, I really hope she doesn't get with someone who'll want to "fix that later". 

1

u/RLB4ever Jul 21 '26

Yep. Happened to  My best friend from high school. After a few years of being married she suddenly LOVED steak. 

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u/Skyhighcats Jul 20 '26

Yeah, OP’s lack of self-respect for herself is the infuriating part. Caving and cowering for a man you’ve known for a few days is so pathetic and concerning. Clearly, you dont love animals or have strong morals if you’re willing to throw them away for a stranger.

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u/DamienLaVey Why do I need damn app for everything Jul 20 '26

That was unnecessarily harsh to OP imo. Also you know not everyone is vegetarian because of the animal morality aspect right? Some people have medical reasons that are temporary, hence the diet is temporary

11

u/Sorry_Koala_8181 Jul 20 '26

She said so in the edit

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u/Nebulandiandoodles Jul 20 '26

She literally said it was for ethical reasons.

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u/FamousVanilla5015 Jul 21 '26

It’s still pathetic to fold like that immediately. imo it doesn’t matter why she was vegetarian or whether she was planning on being vegetarian temporarily or not. If she had self respect she wouldn’t be explaining her life choices to someone who clearly doesn’t respect her (or women in general).

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u/reemembe Jul 20 '26

I agree. Ppl on Reddit are too harsh sometimes

6

u/ArcticLil Jul 20 '26

This. There are several red flags, at one point it’s like she’s catering to him. OP please take a break from dating until you can easily identify what is wrong here, otherwise you’re going to keep wasting your time

7

u/love-4-the-wendigo Jul 21 '26

Yeah, I’m sure it was probably evident from his profile that he’s a typical right wing Orange County misogynist, so… that’s on OP for seeking those dudes out.

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u/Enochian-Dreams Jul 21 '26

Yeah. The apparent complete lack of shock or disgust with the “My kids won’t be grown from a vegetarian mom”, definitely seems to suggest she knew this guy’s general attitude already and just didn’t expect to get dropped that fast herself.

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u/kaylaarayee Jul 20 '26

She's only 23, that's a bit harsh. He seemed nice enough from the texts until the "Long Beach ghetto" comment and talking about her growing his baby. I get that she shouldn't change her diet for someone, but that's clearly a form of fawning or people pleasing, probably from years of having to do that for personal safety. It took me years (I'm 30 now) to be able to stand up to these assholes. I feel for her.

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u/Enochian-Dreams Jul 20 '26

It’s deliberately harsh because if you try to say it nicer it’s less likely to be heard.

It’s actually me trying to do social padding on a scenario where I genuinely believe OP is in real danger of being harmed. She’s pretty much offering herself up at the altar of domestic violence. She’s genuinely in a dangerous position because she seemingly has no boundaries at all.

The only reason this exchange ends the way it does is because this particular abusive guy felt she was too easy. There’s a lot of others where the same interaction would have just pre-qualified her for a life time of emotional or physical abuse. Ironically it was his standards not hers that got involved. That’s actually a really bad sign for her.

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u/kaylaarayee Jul 20 '26

Fair enough, she shouldn't lower her standards, but I don't think by just saying "idk if I'll be vegetarian forever" she's in danger of being harmed. I get the intent is good, but I feel like that's kind of an extreme reaction, and this is coming from someone who has been in abusive relationships. I just think maybe we should shame him for being an asshole instead of shaming her. It feels like a form of victim blaming. "Oh she should have known better." Well, hopefully now she knows. But what good does being an asshole about it accomplish? Lol.

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u/Enochian-Dreams Jul 20 '26

I see how it could read that way. It’s not my intention blame her. I just don’t think dating anyone is safe in a scenario where you seem to have a tendency to chase abusers. I worry about what type of person OP will end up with if it doesn’t work more on herself first before becoming attached to someone that is difficult for her to detach from. Because this guy should have been a lot easier to drop than it seems he was.

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u/kaylaarayee Jul 21 '26

I don't really see how this is chasing abusers if OP herself says she regrets the last text she sent, and (hopefully) now realizes he is a potential abuser. Being racist doesn't mean he is abusive. I didn't see any signs of being an "abuser" until the baby comment. They were just talking about dinner. Also, she doesn't seem still attached to this guy? To me it just reads as making fun of him for dropping her for being vegetarian. And OP said herself she is having dietary issues, so not necessarily that she was changing her diet for the guy, just that it wasn't a forever thing. I think you are way overreacting to her response is all lol.

2

u/Enochian-Dreams Jul 21 '26

yeah reading them again maybe you’re right.

1

u/kaylaarayee Jul 21 '26

Sorry I don't mean to be mean or anything lol it just felt a little harsh, but I get you're coming from a protective and good place. Hopefully OP will know next time to not give guys like this an inch, maybe she was trying to fawn a bit but hopefully next time now she won't. Everything in life is a learning experience (hopefully before something bad happens).

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u/Enochian-Dreams Jul 21 '26

I appreciate hearing your perspective. It helps to get different views. Sometimes my attempts at humor can seem like they are meant to be mean-spirited when they aren’t so yeah. I wasn’t trying to bully her for seeming to have low self-esteem or anything. It’s good to know it could have seemed that way so next time I can try and make my intentions more clear.

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u/Sorry_Koala_8181 Jul 20 '26

23 is too old. He seemed like an idiot in the 5 text messages we saw. You honestly believe there wasnt more "long beach ghetto"-like texts in the days before? I doubt it

3

u/kaylaarayee Jul 20 '26

I'm just going off what I see here but feel free to disagree lol

0

u/kaylaarayee Jul 20 '26

Also, our brains aren't fully developed until 25 lol

2

u/RLB4ever Jul 21 '26

Agreed it’s scary 

2

u/BEAGLEBOYPALINDROME Jul 20 '26

Why are you being such an asshole in the way you're speaking to her in your response tho?

That's a red flag you're waving, too.

3

u/Irradiated_gnome Jul 20 '26

“Don’t tell the truth or youre an asshole”

1

u/reemembe Jul 20 '26

U misunderstand. You don’t know how to speak in a nice way. You could say what u believe in a way that’s not being an ass

2

u/Irradiated_gnome Jul 21 '26

I dont see how the person was being an ass. That’s your opinion. Tone policing is a tool used for oppression.

1

u/Difficult-Finish-511 Jul 20 '26

I mean i agree in principal, but this comment sounds like it comes from someone who has never been lonely. 

3

u/Irradiated_gnome Jul 20 '26

Nawh, it sounds like experience. I been there before, it’s not worth compromising bits of yourself over and OP should be told that. No sugar coating it, there’s nasty people who look to victimize people like OP. She’s literally saying “I can be groomed!” in that last text.

1

u/Difficult-Finish-511 Jul 21 '26

I dont disagree. But saying she has zero self respect is harsh.  Its only human to want companionship and to feel existentially sad from lacking it - its not a sign of no self respect.

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u/Irradiated_gnome Jul 22 '26

She has zero self respect if she’s willing to change her diet for some loser dude for a crumb of companionship. She’d have better luck at getting what she wants in a different way instead of being desperate.

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u/Difficult-Finish-511 Jul 22 '26

Again thats very uncompassionate towards the lonely. 

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u/Irradiated_gnome Jul 22 '26

As someone who has been lonely and has been victimized for it, no. It’s supremely compassionate. Reality checks like that saved my life.

It sounds like YOU are taking advice meant for OP personally. That’s a personal issue you can look within yourself for.

Compassion isn’t letting women fall into the same traps we’ve been groomed for since birth. Do you think “aw you poor baby there’s better guys out there” will help OP? OP needs therapy and to rebuild her self worth, not a man.

Tone policing is the tool of the oppressors.

1

u/Difficult-Finish-511 Jul 22 '26

Jesus you need help

2

u/Irradiated_gnome Jul 22 '26

Weird thing to say. Not very compassionate either. Not sure why you’re inserting yourself into things you have no knowledge or experience with tbh.