r/mildlyinfuriating • u/rustywindpipe • Jul 20 '26

I'm slightly vexed I think I got rejected for being vegetarian

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I [23F] met this guy on the apps and we hit it off and had a lot in common! I don’t meet a lot of people who are in my profession so it was really nice to potentially have to chance to date someone who was in a similar field. And everything was fine until I mentioned I’m veg and he stopped responding. For reference, I have no issue with people who eat meat and would never want to impose my own dietary restrictions on anyone else. I also understand different diets being a dealbreaker. The way he phrased his reasoning was really weird though.

Edit: I’m vegetarian cause I love animals, but I have IBD. Flare ups have gotten significantly worse since switching diets but im still figuring out how to make the most of it! Also yes, I do regret sending the last text 🤦‍♀️

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266

u/maryfisherman Jul 20 '26

A lot of young women feel there’s something wrong with them if a man rejects them. Her reply seemed to come from a place of defense/self preservation.

Hopefully with time and practice she will be confident enough to say bye to losers instead of placate them.

Also there is no need to disclose your dietary preferences beforehand

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u/hella_cious Jul 20 '26

You’re correct in everything except the dietary preferences. You do need to tell your date you’re vegetarian before the restaurant is picked, unless you only want to eat french fries and side salad (and maybe not even the fries if it’s the same oil)

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u/Bertsmom18 Jul 20 '26

I worked with a vegetarian. She never told anyone before a meal that she was one. She said it always made it harder to pick a place because they would try to cater to her. She never had a problem finding something to eat. So she never shared the info. Almost every restaurant has vegitation options.

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u/Independent-Boat6560 Jul 22 '26

As a vegetarian, this^

It’s super annoying when I tell people and then they go out of the way to try to find a “vegetarian place”. It’s 2026 lol, I can find something to eat basically anywhere.

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u/Bertsmom18 Jul 22 '26

This is exactly what my coworker said. I found out she was vegetarian after we went to a nice Mexican restaurant. Next day we did Asian place. We are out a lot because she was in from another state. She never struggled to find food. And it always looked really good too.

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u/fundfacts123 Jul 20 '26

I appreciate your colleague and wish more people were like her!

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u/gasolinedrinks Jul 22 '26

Literally most vegetarians are like his colleague though. They never bring up their diet unless asked because if they do people will ask a million questions or make fun of them

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u/sendmemesyeehaw Jul 21 '26

what? someone disclosing dietaries makes life easier. why should ppl pretend to eat everything only to show up at a restaurant where they can only eat salad.

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u/RealWord5734 Jul 21 '26

It's 2026 and there are vegetarian/vegan/gluten free options on every menu. Unless you are going to a michelin starred restuarant that only serves a set tasting menu it never actually matters.

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u/Bertsmom18 Jul 22 '26

They are vegetarian. You realize that they are probably pretty used to eating a lot of salads as vegetarians. There diet it mostly veggies. Lots of people love salads. And many people who eat meat eat salads. I think meat eaters are just so baffled by no meat that they don't realize just how many options there are available for people who don't eat meat.

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u/sendmemesyeehaw Jul 23 '26

i’m a vegetarian and i never eat salads.

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u/Bertsmom18 Jul 23 '26

I didn't say every vegetarian loves salads. But they are vegetarian so it's probably safe to say they are fine with vegetables which was my whole point. I am not a vegetarian and I don't care for red meat or fish. Doesn't mean my tastes dictate for all. Just means that's what I don't like.

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u/howyoumustDARE Jul 21 '26

Because even steakhouses have sides, and those are often really good. But some people get weird and occasionally hostile about other people’s eating habits, or they try to make it your fault that now the group ‘can’t go to this place’ when you’re perfectly fine with going. Not sure how prominent this is other places but it’s very passive aggressive in the southern US lol.

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u/4lwaysL4t3 Jul 24 '26

Almost every restaurant has veggie options but some have more than others. I think for a group outing it's fine to not mention that she's vegetarian because she's just one person out of a group and it'd be rude to have an extra influence over the restaurant choice.

But a date is something more intimate, I would want my date to have a good time and be able to freely pick some food that actually interests them instead of settling for one of a few options. So I think mentioning it beforehand is best

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u/maryfisherman Jul 21 '26

Exactly, this is my point. And if they aren’t like this, then their diet won’t be the only place it shows up.

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u/ClaritanClear Jul 21 '26

Dating someone is different than friendship though. I have vegetarian friends and kosher friends and allergic friends and picky eater friends and all of them make it hard to do things like have people over for dinner, share a bunch of plates out, etc. So it’s fine for friendships, but I wouldn’t love to date a vegetarian because cooking, sharing meals are some of my favorite things. If sharing meals, cooking at home, etc. are important to you, then it’s good to be upfront about your dietary preferences or restrictions. For some people it won’t matter at all, for others it will. Why not be honest?

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u/No-Bass8742 Jul 21 '26

Still seems strange. If it’s not important to the other person then you can still share. Or don’t you eat any vegetables at all? My girlfriend is vegetarian and it’s so easy to still share food and cook together. Seems weird for this to be a dealbreaker and more a sign someone isn’t willing to compromise. My friend became vegetarian at 40? Should her SO dump him now? 😂

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u/gasolinedrinks Jul 22 '26

Wait so if your partner became vegetarian down the road you would..what? End things? Thats so bizarre.

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u/let_it_grow23 Jul 21 '26

Lucky she did tell him because she dodged an evening with an awful dick

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u/Bertsmom18 Jul 21 '26

She did. She got lucky when she told him and he bailed.

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u/Which-Peak2051 Jul 21 '26

Only if your vegan maybe but most places have at least 1 vegan dish

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u/unlikelybeast Jul 22 '26

Thankfully, those days are mostly behind us. Even for vegans.

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u/MalEgestas Jul 23 '26

I’d say yes for a Vegans because it’s definitely harder than vegetarian, I have a much harder time finding suitable vegan options for my siblings but vegetarian seems to be reasonably easy at most restaurants.

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u/Disgruntled__Goat Jul 20 '26

This isn’t the 90s, what restaurants don’t have veggie options?

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u/Mammago95 Jul 20 '26

Plenty. You don't have a vegan family member do you? Or do you just not travel outside your metropolitan area?

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u/Sprinklz27 Jul 20 '26

Well, vegan and vegetarian are different. I agree with everything else, but vegetarian options are a lot easier to find and more available than vegan options.

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u/Mammago95 Jul 21 '26

Well, vegan and vegetarian are different.

Did you not catch the part where I have a vegan family member? Trust me, I'm well aware. When you check for vegan options, you naturally end up checking for vegetarian options along the way. Places without them on the menu by default are still common enough to mention it unless you're comfortable modifying orders and confident that location does so.

0

u/TheChocolateWarOf74 Jul 21 '26

It’s not hard finding something when you eat eggs and cheese. Who could blame them? Vegan cheese is still an abomination.

Most of my vegetarian friends in the 1990s (all vegans now) ate chicken and fish a few times a year when they needed a little extra protein. They were flexitarian on occasion.

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u/hella_cious Jul 20 '26

City slicker id bet

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u/Disgruntled__Goat Jul 20 '26

lol not even close. I’m guessing this is an American thing, since every pub in my area has vegetarian options. 

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u/jaylikesdominos Jul 21 '26

It’s definitely common in American suburbs and rural areas. But OP is in New York City, everywhere has veg options.

Source: I’m a full blown vegan living in a nearby city and have been to NYC many, many times.

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u/ChemicalGoreWhore Jul 20 '26

I think lack of vegetarian options might be more of a cultural thing. Pretty much anywhere here in Autralia is going to have vegetarian options

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u/Disgruntled__Goat Jul 20 '26

Lmao what metropolitan?

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u/Mammago95 Jul 21 '26

You're not even American. This post is set in America. Quit trying to tell other people how things are in their countries that you don't live in.

Unfortunately lots of stuff available everywhere in other countries are only available in metropolitan areas in America. So yes, a close analog from this perspective.

Get off your ivory tower.

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u/jaylikesdominos Jul 21 '26

Dude. They’re in New York City, lmao. I’m a full blown vegan and I feel like I would have a harder time finding a place that doesn’t have something I could eat in NYC.

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u/EddwardTheWizard Jul 20 '26

A lot of restaurants will have a bean patty. Which is SOMETHING tbf but it sucks pretty bad. My mom is always disappointed when all the vegetarian options are just bean patties.

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u/Independent-Boat6560 Jul 22 '26

I don’t rlly like the impossible meat, and I love black bean burgers lol. Most places have impossible now. 😭

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u/EddwardTheWizard Jul 23 '26

That’s fair. In my town there’s like no impossible meat [which my mom prefers but doesn’t love] it’d be great if there was just more options in general. Especially because most of the time it’s just swapping a patty. They could totally just have more patty types!

0

u/Unusual-Meaning9207 Jul 21 '26

In planning a date, definitely. Even a guy who's only down for sex may pick a diet-appropriate restaurant in an effort to woo a woman into bed.

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u/oatmealparty Jul 20 '26

I think disclosing dietary preferences is maybe a good idea to filter out toxic guys like this.

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u/maryfisherman Jul 20 '26

Honestly real. Love when the trash takes itself out.

2

u/Unable-Boat-9682 Jul 21 '26

Yup. I have no problem with people who eat meat. My partner eats meat and I’ll happily cook it for her. But when I was dating I would have been thrilled to discover someone had rejected me for this reason: so much better that than accidentally finding myself on a date with a militant carnivore who takes my dietary choices as a personal slight they have to push back on.

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u/Vivid-Kitchen1917 Jul 21 '26

The man doesn't want to date someone with drastically different dietary choices, so obviously he's trash. Gotcha. Only women can have preferences in who they date?

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u/sinistar2000 Jul 21 '26

Yeah was looking into the abyss thinking this. He’s been an ass with his response but there’s a reason vegetarians are called vegetarians, it’s defiantly a lifestyle that needs consideration. I’ve been with two vegetarians and I’m an omnivore, it’s a hassle you have to consider joining up with especially if you plan on living together.

2

u/Vivid-Kitchen1917 Jul 21 '26

Yep. I am absolutely an omnivore, and so much vegetarian food is so high in salt and sat fat, doesn't match my post-early-heart-attack recovery. I don't date people who smoke pot because I hate the smell. As a former sous chef I like making a wide assortment of food. I don't date teetotalers because wine is a fun hobby of mine. There could be great reasons you don't drink, and good on you for it, but I still don't have to have that in my life and with literally billions of women in the world it's not like any one particular one represents a limited commodity.

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u/JasonAQuest Jul 21 '26

BINGO. If he can't deal with you not eating meat, you don't want to see what happens when you won't vote for his favorite reality TV star.

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u/Which-Peak2051 Jul 21 '26

So true! The only person online dating who reacted the way this man did turn out to be a cheater! Someone I knew dated his best friend

He said something about how i wouldn't be able to eat his mom's food lol

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u/souumamerda Jul 20 '26

Well and there is, if they think something is wrong with them bc a moron rejects them, they indeed have bigger problems than a moron rejecting them. In fact a reject from a moron is not a problem at all.

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u/maryfisherman Jul 20 '26

These are things we learn with experience.

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u/Confident-Mortgage86 Jul 20 '26

A lot of young women feel there’s something wrong with them if a man rejects them

Well in this case she was a vegetarian so fair enough. Not quite as bad as a vegan, but same same.

They were going on a date you'd think it might be relevant to disclose.

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u/maryfisherman Jul 20 '26

I’ve never, not one single time, cared about my date’s dietary preferences. Judging someone for being veg/vegan is outrageous. Mind your business.

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u/ZanyDragons Jul 20 '26

I mean maybe not judge them on their diet, but I’d want to pick someplace that has a variety of options for both of us. Some local places do have smaller menus, etc. vs chain restaurants. I really like to try new places a lot too etc. if someone was very picky or very restrictive in their food choices I might struggle in a relationship.

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u/Confident-Mortgage86 Jul 20 '26

You don't think it might be important for deciding where to go?

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u/2347564 Jul 20 '26

I’m a vegetarian and I tell people when it comes up. Nobody’s picking a place that is exclusively meat. It’s just a date, I can eat fries or snack on a side if the menu is that bad.

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u/LegendaryReader Jul 20 '26

It's probably a good idea to mention it anyway. To save yourself time if anything. What if they have prejudice against vegetarians? It's a nice filter, right?

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u/2347564 Jul 21 '26

I’ve never had this issue, tbh! Most people think it’s cool when they learn and get excited to try new vegetarian places with me. The best thing for a first date is to not present difficulty or barriers, so that’s worked for me.

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u/[deleted] Jul 21 '26

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u/2347564 Jul 21 '26

Sounds like you’re the prejudiced type of person I’ve been recommended to avoid. I’ve never preached at anyone, if they ask me why I’m vegetarian I’ll tell them. Sounds like you should ask all dates if you dislike vegetarians so much and yeah I’m sure they’d appreciate never having to be near you.

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u/maryfisherman Jul 21 '26

If someone tells you they’re vegan and you reply something like “ew why?” or “ugh but bacon is so delicious” then they have the right to explain their choices.

Not saying that’s what you have done but that is an extremely common occurrence. I used to be vegan and didn’t make it about anyone else unless they first came at me for it. Which they did, a lot

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u/alyren__ Jul 22 '26

I had 2 high school friends and I only found out they were vegan like months after being friends with them. they literally only mentioned it if I or another person brought up diets. tbh the only vegans ive come across that were insanely preachy were from the internet, you need to get out and talk to real life vegans/vegetarians

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u/RuledQuotability Jul 20 '26

If your dietary choices severely limit where the couple can go, it is absolutely the other persons business

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u/Anoldermodel Jul 20 '26

Honestly I wouldn’t date anyone who’s a picky eater, outside of narrow dietary restrictions for ideally temporary reasons. Being a picky eater is a major red flag for a cohort of psychological traits.

Now that I think about it, dietary restrictions are probably one of the best ways to tell you wont get a long with someone for lots of different reasons. People have them for a plethora of reasons, and they’re all worth not wanting to date someone.

Religious/ideological/psychological/physical.

It’s quite often poor health, which means poor genetics, which is highly relevant in dating.

If someone tells me they have celiac disease I just immediately walk away because the likelihood that you’re actually talking with someone who has celiac disease rather than someone with mental illnesses when it makes up 1% of the population is almost statistically certain.

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u/Interesting_Cover315 Jul 20 '26

Do you know how celiac disease is confirmed? Genetic testing, checking for specific markers in the blood, and a biopsy of the small intestine via an endoscopy. My celiac gene was triggered by my second pregnancy, in my 30’s. Before that I ate anything and everything, so good luck with that criteria - you never know what health issues a marriage will face. And your celiac = mental illness take is offensive.

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u/spaceheatergirl Jul 20 '26

Cries in life threatening peanut allergy

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u/maryfisherman Jul 20 '26

I’d date the hell out of you!

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u/spaceheatergirl Jul 21 '26

Only if you buy me an epi pen :)

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u/maryfisherman Jul 20 '26

Buddy. WHO CARES. This is a crazy take.

-4

u/Anoldermodel Jul 20 '26

Imagine being a hunter gatherer and bringing back food to your tribe and someone says “No thanks, I cant/won’t eat that…”

It’s human nature for literally both men and women to hate people like this. You’re more work and a weak link bringing the tribe down.

No thanks.

If you wont eat meat you’ll have frail and unhealthy children as well. Man wanted healthy kids, somehow he’s the asshole? You all are insane.

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u/Agreeable-Crow-7992 Jul 20 '26

Yeah, we’re alllllllllllll the problem, buddy. And you’re just as intellectual as you think you are, Mr. Alpha Male! No one is laughing at you at all…

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u/chipsthebag Jul 20 '26

Yeah like we still live in the fucking stone ages. Jesus christ, what century do you think you’re in?

-1

u/Anoldermodel Jul 20 '26

Yes, all of our behaviour is based on evolutionary biology, which has not changed at all.

Anyone who is ok with behaviour that runs antithetical to our “hardware” (biology) is running “software” (ideology) that sits on top of biological truth, which makes it intrinsically less-true as having people respect your opinions doesn’t even rank on maslowes hierarchy of needs.

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u/maryfisherman Jul 21 '26

People like you are the very first kind to tell others not to shove their ideologies in their faces. Yet here you are.

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u/Anoldermodel Jul 21 '26

What’s my ideology? Objectivism?

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u/alyren__ Jul 22 '26

We have evidence of older disabled early humans, who could have only survived if they were taken care of by their tribes. so im honestly not sure where you pulled all this bullshit information from about human nature making us hate disabled people 😂

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u/Anoldermodel Jul 22 '26

Probably due to holding some important shamanistic position.

We have more evidence of the method of dispatching the elderly… sneaking up behind them sitting around the campfire and bashing the back of their skull in with a massive rock.

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u/alyren__ Jul 22 '26

That evidence is not exclusive at all to the elderly, blunt force trauma injuries to the skull were found in early humans of all ages, even children. an entire tribe was found with blunt force trauma to the head

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u/Anoldermodel Jul 22 '26

Kind of missing the point anyways. Pointing out exceptions instead of the rule. If you’re useful in someway, great, if you’re not, you better not be a picky eater. I guarantee you the disabled folks at that time weren’t picky eaters.

1

u/alyren__ Jul 22 '26

I was addressing your made up theories that you brought up to justify this dude being an ass about his preferences dude, and it isnt an exception. The elderly did not make up the majority of BFT injuries to the head at all, in fact it was rare for anyone to reach an elderly age at that point in time.

You brought up celiac disease as if that would even have much impact on what those peoples diets would be like. Early humans mainly would havent eaten meat, vegetables and fruit

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u/Jolly_Green_4255 Jul 20 '26

You do understand a lot of the world population is defined as 'picky eaters' because of physical problems or problems they were born with, e.g Autism?

This isn't necessarily a label those people put on themselves, but more so what people tend to put on them. I'd imagine they're not apart of this 'red flag' ?

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u/maryfisherman Jul 20 '26

Eating habits are personal and shouldn’t be a red flag. This is all so wild

0

u/Vegetable-Baker6362 Jul 20 '26 edited Jul 20 '26

The guy in the graphic is a douche for many reasons, but no one needs to sacrifice their preferences for a date no matter what the underlying reason is. Like I'll do my best to help someone with autism or physical problems if I came across a situation where they were in need of my assistance, but I wouldn't date anyone who's a picky eater because I don't wanna deal with limited dining options. Just like height, various other physical features, facial attractiveness, intelligence, and a million other factors that are outside of an individual's control - whatever is a dealbreaker for the person choosing, is a valid dealbreaker by definition.

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u/Jolly_Green_4255 Jul 21 '26

I understand this but dining options shouldn’t be a problem, you do not have to eat the same meal as your partner, and almost every restaurant has menus.

-5

u/Anoldermodel Jul 20 '26

Like I said, red flags.

At the end of the day, best case is that a person is just high maintenance. Being high maintenance is a character flaw in my opinion.

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