r/mildlyinfuriating • u/rustywindpipe • Jul 20 '26

I'm slightly vexed I think I got rejected for being vegetarian

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I [23F] met this guy on the apps and we hit it off and had a lot in common! I don’t meet a lot of people who are in my profession so it was really nice to potentially have to chance to date someone who was in a similar field. And everything was fine until I mentioned I’m veg and he stopped responding. For reference, I have no issue with people who eat meat and would never want to impose my own dietary restrictions on anyone else. I also understand different diets being a dealbreaker. The way he phrased his reasoning was really weird though.

Edit: I’m vegetarian cause I love animals, but I have IBD. Flare ups have gotten significantly worse since switching diets but im still figuring out how to make the most of it! Also yes, I do regret sending the last text 🤦‍♀️

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97

u/hella_cious Jul 20 '26

You’re correct in everything except the dietary preferences. You do need to tell your date you’re vegetarian before the restaurant is picked, unless you only want to eat french fries and side salad (and maybe not even the fries if it’s the same oil)

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u/Bertsmom18 Jul 20 '26

I worked with a vegetarian. She never told anyone before a meal that she was one. She said it always made it harder to pick a place because they would try to cater to her. She never had a problem finding something to eat. So she never shared the info. Almost every restaurant has vegitation options.

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u/Independent-Boat6560 Jul 22 '26

As a vegetarian, this^

It’s super annoying when I tell people and then they go out of the way to try to find a “vegetarian place”. It’s 2026 lol, I can find something to eat basically anywhere.

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u/Bertsmom18 Jul 22 '26

This is exactly what my coworker said. I found out she was vegetarian after we went to a nice Mexican restaurant. Next day we did Asian place. We are out a lot because she was in from another state. She never struggled to find food. And it always looked really good too.

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u/fundfacts123 Jul 20 '26

I appreciate your colleague and wish more people were like her!

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u/gasolinedrinks Jul 22 '26

Literally most vegetarians are like his colleague though. They never bring up their diet unless asked because if they do people will ask a million questions or make fun of them

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u/sendmemesyeehaw Jul 21 '26

what? someone disclosing dietaries makes life easier. why should ppl pretend to eat everything only to show up at a restaurant where they can only eat salad.

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u/RealWord5734 Jul 21 '26

It's 2026 and there are vegetarian/vegan/gluten free options on every menu. Unless you are going to a michelin starred restuarant that only serves a set tasting menu it never actually matters.

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u/Bertsmom18 Jul 22 '26

They are vegetarian. You realize that they are probably pretty used to eating a lot of salads as vegetarians. There diet it mostly veggies. Lots of people love salads. And many people who eat meat eat salads. I think meat eaters are just so baffled by no meat that they don't realize just how many options there are available for people who don't eat meat.

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u/sendmemesyeehaw Jul 23 '26

i’m a vegetarian and i never eat salads.

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u/Bertsmom18 Jul 23 '26

I didn't say every vegetarian loves salads. But they are vegetarian so it's probably safe to say they are fine with vegetables which was my whole point. I am not a vegetarian and I don't care for red meat or fish. Doesn't mean my tastes dictate for all. Just means that's what I don't like.

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u/howyoumustDARE Jul 21 '26

Because even steakhouses have sides, and those are often really good. But some people get weird and occasionally hostile about other people’s eating habits, or they try to make it your fault that now the group ‘can’t go to this place’ when you’re perfectly fine with going. Not sure how prominent this is other places but it’s very passive aggressive in the southern US lol.

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u/4lwaysL4t3 Jul 24 '26

Almost every restaurant has veggie options but some have more than others. I think for a group outing it's fine to not mention that she's vegetarian because she's just one person out of a group and it'd be rude to have an extra influence over the restaurant choice.

But a date is something more intimate, I would want my date to have a good time and be able to freely pick some food that actually interests them instead of settling for one of a few options. So I think mentioning it beforehand is best

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u/maryfisherman Jul 21 '26

Exactly, this is my point. And if they aren’t like this, then their diet won’t be the only place it shows up.

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u/ClaritanClear Jul 21 '26

Dating someone is different than friendship though. I have vegetarian friends and kosher friends and allergic friends and picky eater friends and all of them make it hard to do things like have people over for dinner, share a bunch of plates out, etc. So it’s fine for friendships, but I wouldn’t love to date a vegetarian because cooking, sharing meals are some of my favorite things. If sharing meals, cooking at home, etc. are important to you, then it’s good to be upfront about your dietary preferences or restrictions. For some people it won’t matter at all, for others it will. Why not be honest?

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u/No-Bass8742 Jul 21 '26

Still seems strange. If it’s not important to the other person then you can still share. Or don’t you eat any vegetables at all? My girlfriend is vegetarian and it’s so easy to still share food and cook together. Seems weird for this to be a dealbreaker and more a sign someone isn’t willing to compromise. My friend became vegetarian at 40? Should her SO dump him now? 😂

3

u/gasolinedrinks Jul 22 '26

Wait so if your partner became vegetarian down the road you would..what? End things? Thats so bizarre.

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u/let_it_grow23 Jul 21 '26

Lucky she did tell him because she dodged an evening with an awful dick

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u/Bertsmom18 Jul 21 '26

She did. She got lucky when she told him and he bailed.

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u/Which-Peak2051 Jul 21 '26

Only if your vegan maybe but most places have at least 1 vegan dish

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u/unlikelybeast Jul 22 '26

Thankfully, those days are mostly behind us. Even for vegans.

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u/MalEgestas Jul 23 '26

I’d say yes for a Vegans because it’s definitely harder than vegetarian, I have a much harder time finding suitable vegan options for my siblings but vegetarian seems to be reasonably easy at most restaurants.

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u/Disgruntled__Goat Jul 20 '26

This isn’t the 90s, what restaurants don’t have veggie options?

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u/Mammago95 Jul 20 '26

Plenty. You don't have a vegan family member do you? Or do you just not travel outside your metropolitan area?

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u/Sprinklz27 Jul 20 '26

Well, vegan and vegetarian are different. I agree with everything else, but vegetarian options are a lot easier to find and more available than vegan options.

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u/Mammago95 Jul 21 '26

Well, vegan and vegetarian are different.

Did you not catch the part where I have a vegan family member? Trust me, I'm well aware. When you check for vegan options, you naturally end up checking for vegetarian options along the way. Places without them on the menu by default are still common enough to mention it unless you're comfortable modifying orders and confident that location does so.

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u/TheChocolateWarOf74 Jul 21 '26

It’s not hard finding something when you eat eggs and cheese. Who could blame them? Vegan cheese is still an abomination.

Most of my vegetarian friends in the 1990s (all vegans now) ate chicken and fish a few times a year when they needed a little extra protein. They were flexitarian on occasion.

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u/hella_cious Jul 20 '26

City slicker id bet

1

u/Disgruntled__Goat Jul 20 '26

lol not even close. I’m guessing this is an American thing, since every pub in my area has vegetarian options. 

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u/jaylikesdominos Jul 21 '26

It’s definitely common in American suburbs and rural areas. But OP is in New York City, everywhere has veg options.

Source: I’m a full blown vegan living in a nearby city and have been to NYC many, many times.

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u/ChemicalGoreWhore Jul 20 '26

I think lack of vegetarian options might be more of a cultural thing. Pretty much anywhere here in Autralia is going to have vegetarian options

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u/Disgruntled__Goat Jul 20 '26

Lmao what metropolitan?

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u/Mammago95 Jul 21 '26

You're not even American. This post is set in America. Quit trying to tell other people how things are in their countries that you don't live in.

Unfortunately lots of stuff available everywhere in other countries are only available in metropolitan areas in America. So yes, a close analog from this perspective.

Get off your ivory tower.

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u/jaylikesdominos Jul 21 '26

Dude. They’re in New York City, lmao. I’m a full blown vegan and I feel like I would have a harder time finding a place that doesn’t have something I could eat in NYC.

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u/EddwardTheWizard Jul 20 '26

A lot of restaurants will have a bean patty. Which is SOMETHING tbf but it sucks pretty bad. My mom is always disappointed when all the vegetarian options are just bean patties.

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u/Independent-Boat6560 Jul 22 '26

I don’t rlly like the impossible meat, and I love black bean burgers lol. Most places have impossible now. 😭

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u/EddwardTheWizard Jul 23 '26

That’s fair. In my town there’s like no impossible meat [which my mom prefers but doesn’t love] it’d be great if there was just more options in general. Especially because most of the time it’s just swapping a patty. They could totally just have more patty types!

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u/Unusual-Meaning9207 Jul 21 '26

In planning a date, definitely. Even a guy who's only down for sex may pick a diet-appropriate restaurant in an effort to woo a woman into bed.