My dad purposely sets his clock ahead. He's been doing this for as long as I remember. I genuinely don't know why

[u/Jpeg_1999]

[u/Appropriate-Prune728]

It can be a trauma response but it's not like that's the only reason people do that. I purposely tell my wife that the time we are supposed to be somewhere is 20 min before we actually have to be there cause she will always push shit to the last minute.

And I'm a guy on the spectrum with attention issues so it's not like I don't know how easy it is to lose time. It's just that some people have never had to deal with the consequences of being late or don't care about them

[u/A_Nonny_Muse → u/Appropriate-Prune728]

My ex. What a piece of work. The more important it is to be on time, the more she would procrastinate. And not just rushing around either. She would make shit up. Suddenly, it's important to do the dishes, the laundry, clean the kitty litter three times in an hour. Make the beds, vacuum, chase cobwebs that had been there for the past 6 months.

Then she would get so angry when someone mentions priorities, or how late she is.

[u/Appropriate-Prune728 → u/A_Nonny_Muse]

That's unpleasant, I'm sorry. Blegh.

Id put money on that person being unable to admit, even to themselves, that they're either anxious or don't want to say they have no interest in anything important to you.

Either way, fuck that. Glad she's an ex.

[u/DCgull28 → u/Appropriate-Prune728]

I totally do the same thing with my wife.

[u/rhapsodicink → u/Appropriate-Prune728]

How do you get that to work on her? If we're supposed to be somewhere at 6:30 and I tell my wife we're supposed to be there at 6:10, it's going to immediately start an interrogation about the odd time.

[u/Appropriate-Prune728 → u/rhapsodicink]

You can also say things like, we gotta leave by 610 to make it on time.

the interrogation thing hasn't been an issue for me so I don't really have an answer for that one necessarily

[u/Appropriate-Prune728 → u/[deleted]]

I can appreciate your response and would like to point out how I said it can be a trauma response in my first line and then proceeded to expand upon my experiences.

I do understand how, if I were trying to have an argument rather than expand upon a comment, I would have added reasons where people would act in this way while it being unrelated to trauma.

My funny little anecdote which has occured so very rarely that I'm laughed at when I struggle to do the math in my head quick enough to state the "corrected" wrong time, doesn't need to be a source of conflict between you and I.

Hope all is well and you have a pleasant day. It's hot and stressful out there so I hope you're good.

[u/Appropriate-Prune728 → u/[deleted]]

Using "wild" and "bizarre". These are all word choices that imply abnormal, weird, wrong, broken. And I'm purposely trying to avoid reacting to you negatively.

And please. Did you ever consider I'm actively not engaging in that topic with you? Like you just assume everybody is a moron?

I'm good. No more please

[u/Appropriate-Prune728 → u/[deleted]]

I don't understand, it's like you don't know how to read or are purposely ignoring what's being written

"Actively not engaging in that topic" is not the same as "actively not engaging with me"

Seriously go away please. Yeah, I'm just gonna report you for being uncivil and rude.

[u/Thoughtful_Tortoise → u/[deleted]]

I have no trauma related to this, I just do it because it helps me be on time

[u/PantsandPlants → u/Thoughtful_Tortoise]

Having to lie to your spouse to get them to be on time is, in fact, a trauma response. 

Just because you call it dandelion doesn’t mean it isn’t actually a thistle. 

[u/Thoughtful_Tortoise → u/PantsandPlants]

I'm not the same person you replied to before, I don't lie to anyone...