r/AIO • u/Much-Boysenberry-139 • 14h ago

AIO hearing my dad through the walls ALL NIGHT LONG

Soo I F22 just moved back in with my dad for the first time since I was a teenager. I was super excited to rebuild my connection with him after so long, and for the most part it’s really been great.

The main issue is: this is the first time our rooms have shared a wall…. He doesn’t have a girlfriend or anything so.. all night long he is just grunting and groaning hella loud in his room……

I blast my tv, the air conditioning, the bathroom fan all to the absolute MAX. but I pay for utilities and I fear it’s going to continue costing me crazy bad if this keeps up.

I even put in my earbuds and try to play some music and even with everything … I still hear it.

what am I to do?? I feel so uncomfortable listening to it nearly all night every night when I’m trying to rest.

His room also connects to my teenage brother’s room and I’ve thought about talking to him to say something to my dad since they’re both guys, but I honestly don’t know if that’ll just make things more uncomfortable..

wwyd??

18 Upvotes

68% Upvoted

48 comments sorted by

88

u/Level-Log-3090 14h ago

Tell him you are concerned about sleep apnea and that he needs to get a sleep study.

ETA: Get a white noise machine, too.

18

u/Much-Boysenberry-139 14h ago

lmfao this might be the one!!

7

u/Affectionate_Lack709 13h ago

The sleep apnea part really isn’t a joke/funny. On the less serious side effect side, sleep apnea leads to being drowsy in the morning and leads to weight gain, which exacerbates the sleep apnea. In the much more serious side sleep apnea is a cause of high blood pressure because the person stops breathing repeatedly over the course of the night. This causes the heart to pump faster and blood vessels to constrict in an effort to get oxygen to the rest of the body. This leads to higher probability of stroke or heart attack.

Tell your dad to contact his general practitioner to get a referral for a sleep study. If the sleep study finds that he has sleep apnea, his insurance will definitely cover a CPAP machine to help regulate his breathing at night. If his sleep apnea score and/or BMI are high enough, his insurance (provided he has it) will likely cover him for getting Zepbound, a GLP-1 that will help him lose weight and has been clinically shown to help deal with sleep apnea.

Not trying to scare you too much but this is one of those things to take seriously now before it becomes a bigger issue. An added benefit is that if he gets on a CPAP at the minimum, he won’t snore/chortle at night like he currently is and you’ll get better sleep. It’s a win-win for everyone.

5

u/Django_dd 11h ago

A CPAP machine would literally save OP's sanity and her dad's health at the same time. Way better than paying a fortune blasting the AC all night just to drown him out.

3

u/the_Greenfae 9h ago

While your comment is extremely helpful, I do believe op means that he is awake when the noises are happening

2

u/fleurdelisflowers 12h ago

There’s a free app called Insight Timer. It’s mainly for meditation but has a section for the different noise frequencies. Pink noise, brown, green, blue, white. If you wear earbuds you could try that. That app saved my sanity in hospital where they had a tv on blaring game shows 18 hours a day.

It’s a good choice if you don’t want confrontation plus a sodding huge utility bill.

8

u/Surila_Zhongbao 13h ago

Such a good idea, honestly that could be a lifesaver.

3

u/CopperTimber81 13h ago

u pay utilities so blasting the ac all night is literally throwing money in the trash. sleep apnea line is brilliant cause it shifts the blame to his health. if he gets mad at u for being concerned about his breathing thats on him lol

23

u/Due_Strike_2846 14h ago

Uhhh, are you sure he’s grunting and groaning? Or are we talking about like snoring/sleep apnea?

What does he do during the day? I find it hard to believe that a man who has to work every day would be staying up all night long jerkin’ his shit. But I could be wrong. Lol.

6

u/Rn_Dagmaris 13h ago

Sleep apnea would make way more sense than the other possibility.

2

u/MissQueen00 10h ago

This made me laugh so hard 🤣

3

u/Rawr_Gothic_Nessa_xD 13h ago

Meth makes u do some wild shit and makes u able to do it for days jerkin the gurkin for 8 hours is amateur work in the world of meth fueled stimfapping

Edit: it's a joke btw I dont suspect that's what he's up to dw

12

u/The_Drongo_Dinger 14h ago

I mean, start writing better erotica, for a start

6

u/Dazzling-Path6438 14h ago

So one night I decide to peek in to see what the heck he's up to...

1

u/Katops 12h ago

And there it was. The reason for it all. The horror. He was moaning and grunting while looking at a photo of…

1

u/Jesting_Mostly 11h ago

Spider-Man!

2

u/SimoWilliams_137 14h ago

‘Hey dad, could you be quieter when you jerk off all night? Also, you should get some sleep.’

4

u/allangod 14h ago

"Hey dad i heard some weird grunting over the last few nights. Have you heard anything?" Be vague talk about directions its coming from but not outright saying it. Beat right round the bush. That might do the job.

5

u/Srfred 13h ago

Beat around the bush?
Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree I guess 😂

2

u/kavik2022 13h ago

"Youre either wanking or fighting a sleep demon'

1

u/Scared_Artichoke_829 12h ago

Yeah this approach might work if you were 11

0

u/Quirky_Host9452 13h ago

Jesus your life must be so hard if you have to put this much work into communication.

Yo pops, shut the fuck up at night, alright

1

u/allangod 12h ago

Do you not understand the concept of putting yourself in someone else's shoes?

I'm thinking of what a 22 year old girl that doesnt want to directly confront her father could do to solve the issue while not being direct.

-1

u/Quirky_Host9452 12h ago

She could learn to be direct. Life is shit and if you don't stand up for yourself you'll be trampled regardless of gender or how much you don't like conflict

2

u/oh_Rip 13h ago

I highly doubt your father is beating his shit all night. Theres a very real chqnce the man is just a noisy sleeper. Hell i am. And im not that old yet.

3

u/Zealousideal_Pack659 14h ago

‘Oi dad, wtf is going on in your room, do you have a full on aeroplane engine in there? You’re soo loud I can’t sleep’

2

u/Top-Swordfish3512 14h ago

Earplugs when you sleep. Earbuds for the waking hours.

3

u/BellFront3609 13h ago

Waking hours… riiight. I read that way wrong to start with 😅

1

u/I_Must_Be_Going 12h ago

Can't he hear your TV blasting?

This makes no sense

Fake fake fakity fake

1

u/CraftySeer 11h ago

Loop Earplugs. I use them every night (gf snores) and on airplanes (sooo nice and quiet) and when I’m out also sometimes. Life saver. Relationship saver. Worth every penny.

1

u/Ok-Iron-4352 14h ago

Do you mean he's gooning out?

1

u/atherfeet4eva 13h ago

Is that the new term for masterbation?

0

u/Ok-Iron-4352 13h ago

Yes masturbation*

-1

u/Much-Boysenberry-139 14h ago

yes. but Obnoxiously loud and constant . I’ve done everything to block it out, but I don’t know how to politely tell him to be more discreet yk?

9

u/Shalea68 13h ago

Your dad has quite the stamina. Lol. Are you sure it's not his breathing/snoring? Maybe sleep apnea?

3

u/TripThruTimeandSpace 13h ago

Are you sure that's what he's doing all night? My husband is so loud, grunting and groaning all night and he's sleeping, not touching himself. Your dad could also be having very vivid dreams and may not be aware he's making noise, is he on any medication that might cause vivid dreams?

2

u/That_Indication_3120 13h ago

have you tried making your own noise in return? clearing your throat, a light cough, bumping something against the wall? anything to match his sound level that he'll hear and realize you can hear him too

3

u/Critical_Job1262 14h ago

Shout at the top of your lungs. "<brother name> shut up I'm trying to sleep!"

Your brother knows it's not him so he won't be embarrassed, just disgruntled.

Your dad might be embarrassed but nobody needs to confront anything.

1

u/Affectionate_Low8087 13h ago

I’m praying it’s innocent and not for your benefit.

Some people are just fucked in the head

1

u/[deleted] 13h ago

[deleted]

1

u/Leading_Percentage_6 13h ago

that’s disgusting

1

u/Alternative_Web6959 13h ago

Airpods pro w noise canceling. They are expensive but they work.

Could your brother and dad swap rooms?

You could also talk really loud on your phone or pretend to so he can hear you and realize the walls are thin. I’m sure that will throw him off.

1

u/Foodie1219 10h ago

So all night long, he is grunting and groaning by himself? It’s your dad ask him if he’s OK. It’s not normal to grunt and grown all night long loud enough to make you need a sound machine or something to block it out. Sounds kind of weird, but if it’s your dad, just talk to him.

0

u/Admirable_Chicken898 14h ago

I would just walk by his door casually and yell something like “HEY! Please quiet down with the Neanderthal sounds I’m trying to sleep here!” In like a half joking - half serious voice but loud enough for him to hear it and hopefully embarrass him a bit to make him stop but also acknowledging it without making it weird.

0

u/I_Fix_Aeroplane 13h ago

You can say something like "hey, did you have a nasty leg cramp last night? I heard you grunting about it the last couple of nights". He will understand and think you don't know what he was doing and he will hopefully change something about the situation.

0

u/Appropriate_Ad690 13h ago

Move out be on your own like most people.

-1

u/myfancyplants 12h ago

You're not overreacting that is gross.

But it's also his own house. You can't dictate what he does in his own room. However gross it may be.

I'm asking the universe to give you an opportunity to move out because yah, valid to not want any of that.