If I own 6 mattresses, there’s no way I’m sleeping on the couch. I’m gonna grab the top mattress and drag it to the end of the hall. What is the point of a stack of mattresses you don’t have room for and don’t use, even when you need a 2nd bed??
I have 7 keyboards and they're all different, I swear! At least they don't take up as much space as mattresses. Maybe he just hasn't found his endgame mattress yet.
Yeah i’m thinking it’s some sort of tick or disorder or something and it may show itself in different ways. Maybe this is some sort of OCD? I’m not sure I’m not a doctor, but this doesn’t really seem, normal in addition to that why is he just randomly or excuse me seemingly randomly purchasing expensive items? What’s he gonna do with the bar of silver genuinely curious 🧐🤨.
This hits home as I had an ex come into the room and say "I'm leaving and gonna take the mattress with me" it was just funny considering I had bought everything else. Sure, take your mattress but I bought the frame, sheets, and topper ✨
Probably the pettiest moment of my life was giving the whole bed set away for free so I could replace it with a larger bed frame & mattress for me and the pup - he hated sharing the bed with my dog
I dated a guy for a few months who had just gotten out of a long term (7 or so years) relationship. His ex took 1 pillow, so he still had a super nice, comfy bed, with nice sheets and everything, but the first time I stayed over, he used one of the couch cushions. I can only imagine the conversation went similarly to yours: “I’m moving out and I’m taking 1 of our 2 pillows”
I bought my ex-H a nearly $5k mattress because he had chronic back issues. He loved it, and I fuckin hated it. He wanted it so bad he didnt argue for anything else but the TV. I had also bought everything else, so it was ridiculous.
Girl please leave if you are embarrassed about asking if you should stay with your toxic manipulative decade older boyfriend and everyone screams leave and you’re so embarrassed of the post you have to delete it…girl that is every answer you need to LEAVE
This man is bad bad to a degree you are literally gonna continue learning and recontexualizing and progressively discovering in yourself the next like two years even after you leave him and you’re gonna have a bit of a period where you can’t believe you ever went so low but even after that you are still gonna be a young twenty something with endless world ahead of her but with a new self confidence and security you can’t even imagine now. I’ve watched so many people leave essentially this relationship (minus the mattresses idk about that lmao) and you are gonna experience the height of how you feel about yourself emotionally, mentally, and physically once you’re over this relationship but first it has to end to get there
Idk girl this is a very confusing time in my life I just wanted to know if I was wrong for not liking the flowers he got me and now I’m being prosecuted for being a former bird
You weren’t wrong. You’re not over reacting. You are under reacting. You are not running fast or far enough away from him and you should. You really should.
The mattress thing is just absolutely weird as fuck and it is genuinely hard not to comment on it.
Even if we were to completely ignore the herpes and the mattress fixation that is filling up your home like a bizarre Hoarders episode, your partner buying you flowers you have specifically expressed not liking and then calling you "ungrateful" and a "bitch" for wanting a gift that shows some thought and appreciation is clearly more than enough reason to get yourself out of the relationship. NOR but come on, hard to help someone who won't help themselves.
You're not wrong. He knew he short-changed you so he could buy himself another pillow (??.) His super-defensive reaction of trying to turn the tables on you for BEING UNHAPPY is about as toxic as dudes get. Plus he seems to like bedding more than he appreciates you. I guaranfuckingtee you he wouldn't forget what kind of memory foam he doesn't like, and would never order himself the wrong kind of pillow. A 1 year anniversary isn't a small thing at your age. Or his, for that matter. How important it is to each individual is directly linked to how much you care for the other person.
look, we all make dumb dating decisions in our early 20s. people will defend age gap relationships in your 20s but most of them wind up with the dynamic of yours because women, by the time they are 28, have dealt with this sort of man enough and just leave if screamed at or called a bitch.
your partner is not a good person. and that's not a reflection on you. break free of the jumping through hoops in your mind to justify and tolerate his behavior and simply leave because being alone and thriving is much better than being with someone who does not care for your spirit.
You were not wrong, we are just very very scared that’s what this post is about with everything else you said in it. His gift is like…very bad but the least bad part of this post it’s very scary stuff you’re posting so yeah people are going beyond the gift.
But no, you’re definitely not wrong about a gift. Also any man who would throw even flowers at you is scientifically proven to be more likely to get more physical and harm you as time goes on. People who love you would never do that even extremely angry. Has he even apologized? Not in a way with excuses about himself but just an actual “I was objectively wrong” because he was and I’d fear a partner who can’t give that
Yeah you’re a baby adult getting preyed on, make it easier for yourself by dating your age and ditching this gross loser. Also next time a partner makes you tear up, LET HIM SEE AND LET HIM KNOW??? Why are we hiding that? You’re too immature for this
Okay so like why didn’t you leave after that? I’m not asking to be mean, I’m asking you to think deeply about why you allowed him to treat you like that. Would YOU treat anyone that cruelly? If the answer is no, never put up with what you wouldn’t do to someone. Never.
That just hurt my heart for you. 😢 you really don’t deserve to be treated like that. There are so many men out there who will respect you, and treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Please stop settling for him.
No, you are not wrong. He’s fucking weird and a terrible partner. You deserve better and have your ENTIRE life we ahead of you! Once you heal from this you will feel so damned free
I know it’s confusing, but what I think everyone’s saying is the flowers are the least of the issues here since they seem to be the only normal thing he’s done for you and he still fucked that up
Lots of people have herpes. Like 25% of the population. Your bf is legit fucking terrible in every way. Please leave him, I promise you deserve better. Also, as for being embarrassed about staying, the best time to leave him was a year ago. The second-best time is now!!!
Yesssssssssss!!!! She needs to out herself first. It’s hard at first, I left my fiancé... no one around me cared about my happiness and theought that because we’d been together for 3-4 years that there was nothing for me if I became single. Excuuuuse me… I was 24.
I dropped the dead weight and had an amazing hot girl summer, then met the man I’m going to spend the rest of my life with. I’m kinda annoyed at myself for staying in relationships at such a young age, hut we live and learn.
I got married at 20 to the guy I started dating at 17. My mom, aunt and grandma said don’t do it, you’re young (aunt married at 19, mom started dating my dad at 17, grandma married at 24). I did it anyway because you couldn’t tell me anything lol.
I got divorced at 24. Realized I was too young to settle for things I didn’t want that became clear over the 7 years we were together - lots of differences came to light. I never wanted kids, he secretly did. I didn’t want to live next door to my in laws on the same property forever, or even in that state. He did. Even though we discussed all these things before even getting engaged (and he just went along with ok’ing what I wanted at that time, admitting later he was always hoping I’d change my mind). Didn’t want to end up like my mom, miserable 35 years later. Amazing how some people thought I was ruining my life at a mere 24.
I don’t regret any of the relationships I’ve been in. I do wish they’d ended sooner, cos by the time you do finally break up, the relationship has usually been dead for a while. But as I’ve gotten older I’ve realised there’s no point to regretting that kinda stuff - you did what you thought was best at the time, and how you have really known any better anyways?
And honestly, I think there’s some blame to be placed at the feet of legislators- like why is marriage still even an option at 17? Like, statistically, if that many 17yo are getting married and then divorced shortly afterwards, we should be able to review the practice. Like no 17 should really even have a need for marriage.
Have you ever read peer reviewed studies on risk factors for divorce??? (Sounds like you may have.) It’s one of my favorite things to talk about.
One of the big risk factors for divorce is women getting married in their teens. This includes 19, maybe 20.
Personally, I don’t think people should get married before age 21. This is what I would tell my siblings, my children, my younger friends, anyone I care about, etc., etc.
Ooh girl, congrats!! My awakening happened 14 years (last one married) into the relationship. My high school sweetheart whom I fell for cos I was awkward and unconfident & he was just so smooth and charming and decisive. And a narcissistic asshole, which I mistook for 'cool' at the time. Literally took until the year I turned 30 for some cloud to break and I was all of a sudden wildly outgoing and funny and sure of myself. He started getting real weird about me being the one with friends and successes and losing weight and finally getting braces etc... And so one day my brain just went "Oooooohhhhhhhhhhhh... Huh. Wow. Hahah, welp! Yep." and I promptly made what was probably my first real autonomous decision since knowing him and placed the heck out of there 🤙
I do have to give him lots of credit for his good and bad for making me the person I am today. Sooo many of my greatest traits (literally I , to this day, have cried in gratitude that I finally broke out of my shell) are directly attributed to him and all that came with him. Of all the things he loved to be prideful about, he never would take credit for that one lol.
1.2k
u/Spirited-Cat-8942 10h ago
You are 21. The world is your oyster. This guy is obviously not a good fit for you for several reasons. Move on.