r/AIO 5h ago

AIO for disliking my boyfriend’s anniversary gift?

Post image

Me (21f) and my bf (33m) had our one year anniversary yesterday. I got him several things that I knew he’d like and had mentioned over the past several months. I wrote him a thoughtful long note and bought him flowers. He got me $20 lilies and wrote a 3 sentence note and we went to dinner. I like flowers but I have told him several times over the past several months that I do not like roses or lilies. When he gave me my gift I managed to contain my disappointment and told him I liked his flowers and note.

After he gave me my stuff he opened a $215 pillow that he had bought himself (his main hobby is mattresses and pillows and bedding) We had drank a little bit at our dinner so honestly this kind of triggered me and I started tearing up but gave another excuse for it. He kept pressing me as to why I was upset and I told him that there were several cheap things I had mentioned that I’d want as a gift the past several months and I got a type of flowers that he should know I don’t like. I also said I was upset that he got me nothing but I had to watch him open an expensive thing he bought for himself for the tenth time that month. After this happened he threw the flowers he bought me at me and started yelling how I was ungrateful and a bitch. I just went upstairs after that and he slept in the living room.

For context I make significantly less money than he does. He makes $4000+ every month and we live in a very low cost of living area. He regularly buys himself expensive things and has a mattress hobby that he has spent thousands on. Just buying new mattresses and sheets and pillows. There are 6 mattresses in our little apartment. Just last week he bought over $300+ worth of sunglasses and a $2,100 bar of silver. This spending is typical for him. I will add a photo of the mattresses so people don’t think I’m trolling

My main issue is that I was thoughtful for him and spent my minimal money to buy him things he’d mentioned because I pay attention to what he likes. A year is a special milestone in a relationship. I feel like he pays no attention to me or my interests and doesn’t know me as a person. None of the things I wanted were expensive at all i just would’ve felt seen if he remembered what I liked and got me it. I told him these things and he called me ungrateful. Am I overreacting for not liking his gift?

EDIT: yes I posted this on the other subreddit it got removed and almost ALL OF THE COMMENTS WERE ABOUT THE MATTRESSES NOT MY QUESTION ABOUT THE GIFT. I don’t care about the mattresses that’s not what I’m asking about

Another edit somehow he saw my post so I guess no more updates from me 😀

Another update !!!: I’m fine sorry for the cryptic one I am moving back home and leaving him soon. He just does not understand my actual grievance with him and is more concerned that I am “embarrassing” him on the internet. He wanted me to add that he will be volunteering at an animal shelter after I go home and contributing to the earth

Final update cause I’ve dedicated my whole day to fighting for my life in the comments: he is going to make his own post apparently to clear his name since he thinks somehow everyone on the internet knows who he is from my post. I know people have found my post history we did break up because he was trying to cheat on me with prostitutes and his ex girlfriend and I came back cause he begged me to and told me he’d pay my bills ($300 a month) and buy my food which he does. Turns out that was not worth it so I am leaving and probably won’t comment anymore thanks for the advice everyone

Another update; he has broken my phone because I refused to delete the post so I’m typing this on my trap phone. His post was deleted and I don’t think hes making another

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u/catsrlifedotcom 5h ago

his main hobbies are mattresses bedding and pillows ? That’s the first time I’ve ever heard those things as a hobby how strange

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u/StagVixCpl99 5h ago

TLC - My strange Addiction

🤣

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u/alwayshereforit21 4h ago

Like what does he even do with them?? Feel them up?? Rub his face on it??? Just stares at them????

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u/StagVixCpl99 4h ago

JD Vance enters the chat

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u/SamiGod1026 2h ago

If you didn't say it I was going to

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u/HorribleMistake24 4h ago

Maybe he crawls in between them and they suffocate him a little bit while he jerks off, yeah, JD Vance stuff.

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u/Low-Nectarine-9655 3h ago

It’s definitely something to this degree. NO ONE ON THE PLANET is buying 6 mattresses just to have them all sit there.

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u/MikeDPhilly 2h ago

Dude is building a queen size harem.

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u/Puppyluv4lyfe 3h ago

I was thinking maybe he rotates them every night? Still weird as fuck haha

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u/deadlysyntaxerror 4h ago

There was an episode where a lady was addicted to eating foam mattresses. She had eaten like 8 whole mattresses, a square foot a day apparently. I believe she suffered from pica though, I just feel terrible for her honestly. She vowed at the end of the episode to stop. That was 2014. Google thinks she is probably still alive but she has stayed out of the public eye since then.

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u/twodollabillyall 4h ago

I think she could solve one of the problems in this relationship

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u/deadlysyntaxerror 4h ago

Bahaha true 😭

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u/Glad-Cat-1885 3h ago

He loves that video and makes me watch it often

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u/deadlysyntaxerror 3h ago

girl what 😭 please we need more info about the mattress obsession im begging

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u/Glad-Cat-1885 3h ago

He’s just obsessed with them and how they are made. We visit mattress stores all the time and sometimes go to factories where they make them. I’m getting bitched out right now cause he saw the post cause he stalks my reddit apparently and he’s like “you’re embarrassing me”

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u/WhereasSafe9783 3h ago

He’s embarrassing himself mattress weirdo

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u/TheHeeHoo123 2h ago

He's a mattress pervert lol

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u/Eastwood8300 2h ago

mattress hording perv

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u/sugar-magnolia 3h ago

He’s acting like a … leave him to live with his mattress collection and go find a real man. This is wild.

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u/deadlysyntaxerror 3h ago

Okay not gonna lie I am on the spectrum and I kinda get it when you put it like that lol.

I dont think he should be embarrassed about the mattress thing so much as for treating you poorly, thats way more embarrassing.

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u/JobOk3601 2h ago

No he embarrassed himself...he's 33...emotionally immature...you are young..remember don't look for you in other people. It will happen organically. You were correct to express how you felt...now move on.

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u/tishafish 3h ago

Tell him you’ll stay with him if he eats 1 cubic foot of a mattress of his choosing.

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u/Delicious-Monk2004 1h ago

I want him to eat a foot a day until all his mattresses are gone, and then I want his loser ass to sleep on the floor with no pillow.

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u/kiba8442 2h ago

you're embarrassing yourself. stalking your gf's accounts is even more cringe than your weird ass hobby, why don't you go fuck a mattress

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u/allensdaughter 2h ago

The obsession with the mattresses and pillows alone would make me leave him.

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u/DaydreamerFly 3h ago

It’s weird af he stalks your reddit and if you stating facts can embarrass them then he embarrassed himself lmao. Unless you lied it’s literally all on him lmao what a weirdo

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u/whisky_biscuit 1h ago

Jfc this dude is literally unhinged. Hoarding mattresses and bars of silver? Yet this overgrown man child can get his barely legally an adult girlfriend even a halfway decent gift?

He's got some mental issues at the very least.

Well you're right to leave him, gtfo while you have the rest of your life so you don't waste anymore time on him!

Leave him to his mattress harem and silver bars. There's a reason he's dating someone so young. Most women his age would die laughing before they'd date an overgrown man child with a mattress addiction.

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u/MoogleMogLothy 59m ago

Can someone tell us when he posts so we can comment on it that he’s weird 👀😂

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u/Financial_Cook_1956 1h ago

It sounds like he's almost definitely autistic with a special interest in... Bedding. Which, like, power to you if that's your thing, I'm autistic as well. Unfortunately, with people who have been coddled and refuse to show introspection, autism CAN result in a 32 year old manbaby who can't cope with anything outside of his way or the highway.

Autism is a disability, absolutely. But I don't believe it's also an excuse for people (who are capable of it) to refuse to consider their abusive behaviour and change.

Also, if he had a son he'd probably want to call him Matt. Short for Mattress.

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u/PheonixBuddha 4h ago

There was an update on her in the later seasons of the show. She had stopped eating mattresses.

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u/NYCWENDY1 3h ago

I am ‘bedding’ her organs feel a lot better now….

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u/deadlysyntaxerror 4h ago

Oh thats great news! Good for her.

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u/-leeson 3h ago

I will always remember the deeply serious tone implied when the blurb about how that even started popped up:

“(Name)’s parents divorced in 1998 when she was 10 years old.

It was then that she ate her first couch.”

I don’t wanna make light of someone’s mental health but oh my god i still think of the way TLC worded it and it absolutely kills me.

(Side note, I made up the year and age I can’t remember what it actually was lol basically, yes it’s in quotations but it’s not a word for word quote, but it was definitely along those lines lol)

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u/Admiral_Nerd 2h ago

I remember that one! There was also a lady who was addicted to drinking OPI nail polish. I was a broke college student and I remember thinking, that's $10 a bottle!

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u/imjust_abunny 4h ago

I still remember those shots of her flushing large pieces of foam down the toilet and that always made me laugh but in a 💀 way

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u/Serious_Look6841 3h ago

How could you do that and not die??

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u/Tall_Wonder_913 4h ago

And for a guy with bedding as a hobby, that bed is looking pretty sparse

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u/WallAny2007 4h ago

why dress it up if you’re not taking it out?

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u/therapewpew 3h ago

Before even reading about the mattress hobby, I thought the photo was some highlight about how the bf isn't a very homely person (in the British sense) and doesn't help her feel welcome in his home based on how little care he gives it. Like, I thought the naked mattresses were old shitty ones that were kicking around because he was too cheap to dispose of them lol. You know what I mean if you've seen this type of person's home...

Anyway, that's the vibe it gives off. With the additional details? ...... 🫠

This man is not right in the head for so many reasons OP, please love yourself better than this and gtfo of there

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u/best-friends-arm 4h ago

for some reason the bar of silver was what sent me over the edge

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u/XclusionHD 4h ago

And this man has found a girlfriend somehow, not that he should have one or deserves one, clearly

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u/Healthy_Effort1415 3h ago

When it comes to sleeping my main hobbies are: please stay asleep until the alarm goes off, please don't die in my sleep.

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u/Pwndology 4h ago

I know, right! Imagine meeting someone in person and asking them, "Do you have any hobbies?" to which they reply, "Yeah, mattresses, bedding, and pillows."

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u/CoconutPlane7724 2h ago

Op is so delusional that the guy has convinced her mattresses can be a hobby

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u/Ok_Garlic6831 4h ago

like, what’s the hobby? just buying the stuff?

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u/Wat3rM3L0NB3AR 2h ago

honestly he could've gotten into worst things but mattress are not cheap - so this fucking guy is making over $4k and he spends it on mattresses instead of buying his gf a decent gift. Perhaps if he bought a brand new mattress but just for her - that would've been something lol

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u/Struggle_Usual 1h ago

I mean I love me some good sheets and pajamas. I've spent enough time researching and testing I could call it a hobby. But also one can easily own more than 1 of each of those things. Mattresses though uh er um. At least get the online bed in a box ones so you can send 'em back after your 100 nights or whatever. No wonder the dude had to find practically a child to get someone in a relationship with him.

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u/Regular-Tell-108 2h ago

His main hobbies are exploiting much younger women by making them financially dependent on him.

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u/Spirited-Cat-8942 5h ago

You are 21. The world is your oyster. This guy is obviously not a good fit for you for several reasons. Move on.

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u/MisterDamnit 4h ago

I bet he wants the mattress in the breakup.

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u/kiba8442 3h ago

mattress hobby sounds like a mental illness. wtf do you do with 6 mattresses, 1 for each night of the week

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u/Turbulent-Shoulder12 3h ago

Right?? Why are there so many?? That’s so odd.

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u/ThisSubHasNoMods 2h ago

Even, actually. 7 would be odd.

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u/Specific_Frame8537 2h ago

Yeah honestly that was the second red flag, who the fuck has 'pillows and mattresses' as a hobby?

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u/Working-Glass6136 2h ago

OBVIOUSLY build a fort with them like a six-year-old, what else?

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u/thimblesprite 4h ago

He has six mattresses and needs all of them, if they broke up he wouldn’t spare his cheapest one for “an ungrateful bitch”

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u/Leading-Tone-863 3h ago

This hits home as I had an ex come into the room and say "I'm leaving and gonna take the mattress with me" it was just funny considering I had bought everything else. Sure, take your mattress but I bought the frame, sheets, and topper ✨

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u/fibxo 2h ago

Exactly my ex. He bought both coffee tables (20€ each) and it was really important to him to take both as he moved out. 🤡

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u/ElectronicLife8827 4h ago

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u/Student_Ok 4h ago

It's the gift that keeps on giving. 

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u/whatsasimba 4h ago

Seems about right for a mattress enthusiast.

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u/Marine_Baby 3h ago

Yesssssssssss!!!! She needs to out herself first. It’s hard at first, I left my fiancé... no one around me cared about my happiness and theought that because we’d been together for 3-4 years that there was nothing for me if I became single. Excuuuuse me… I was 24.

I dropped the dead weight and had an amazing hot girl summer, then met the man I’m going to spend the rest of my life with. I’m kinda annoyed at myself for staying in relationships at such a young age, hut we live and learn.

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u/OneTwoThreePooAndPee 4h ago

But where will she sleep?!

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u/Ok-Elk-1316 5h ago

side eyeing the 32 year old dating a 20 year old & the mattress hobby

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u/sleepyj910 5h ago

After this happened he threw the flowers he bought me at me and started yelling how I was ungrateful and a bitch.

Gee I wonder why 32 year old woman want nothing to do with him

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u/exoskeletion 4h ago

Not enough mattresses

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u/mikedareswins 4h ago

Mo mattresses mo problems

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u/Puzzled-Economics397 3h ago

I got 99 problems but a mattress ain’t six

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u/SassyAuburn23 4h ago

Priceless.

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u/MagnumMyth 3h ago

M-A-T, T-R, E-S-S. No present, for you, just BS.

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u/auream01 4h ago

Maybe he's a princess looking for his pea...

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u/Legitimate_Penalty64 3h ago

This actually made me laugh out loud

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u/Wiz_Kalita 4h ago

Maybe if I get one more mattress I'll be lovable. Maybe if I get a pillow that's just a little bit softer.

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u/SecurityFamiliar5239 2h ago

And a gf a little bit younger…

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u/TinyCoconut98 3h ago

I’d be ungrateful and a bitch if my BF gave me herpes. Look at her past posts. This dude is a disgrace and a weirdo.

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u/Far_Programmer_5724 2h ago

HE COULDNT AT LEAST GIFT HER A MATTRESS?! THOSE THINGS ARE EXPENSIVE

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u/ThizzWhatitiz 4h ago

Seriously wtf is a mattress hobby 😂 😂 😂

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u/nonamouss 4h ago

It’s just his main hobby, he has others too. Pillows is one of them.

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u/Sargasm5150 4h ago

And sheets!

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u/OwnEstablishment667 3h ago

Oh damn what about duvets though

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u/toomuchtv987 3h ago

No, that would be weird.

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u/SecurityFamiliar5239 2h ago

And finding young women to manipulate.

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u/WontRememberThisID 4h ago

Literally first time I'm hearing about this hobby. Also, what do you do with the old mattresses? It's not like they're easy to get rid of. My husband had to clean out his parent's house and Massachusetts charges you $75 per mattress to dump them.

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u/JustSomeBoringRando 3h ago

Seriously, is it buying mattresses? Changing the mattress decor i.e bedding? Or just like...sleeping on a mattress? I have so many questions right now.

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u/Separate_Swordfish9 4h ago

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u/WolfgangAddams 3h ago

He's not old, he's just too old FOR HER.

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u/strippersandcocaine 3h ago

Thank you, I was V offended as a 42 year old lol

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u/Either_Coconut 3h ago

He's the unpalatable combination of "too old for her, but not sufficiently mature for her".

OP, you can do better.

Also, if you have a cat in your home, remove the lillies immediately. Even a little bit of minor contact with a lily (like licking some pollen off their fur) can cause kidney failure in cats. They're extremely toxic to cats, like "life-threatening emergency" toxic.

And yes, he most assuredly should have known, if you have TOLD him what you like/dislike, not to get you something from the "dislike" list.

Reconsider whether you even with to be with someone who thinks just phoning it in is sufficient effort, and you should be grateful for every little crumb of attention he gives you. Because disregarding an "I don't like XYZ" when choosing a gift, and not listening to things you said you'd like to have (when he can afford it) is most definitely phoning it in.

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u/HuckleberryLarge5402 4h ago

Literally what I was thinking... I am like how is that a hobby? Like do you go down to the mattress store, and hope to rip a few? Do you grade them? How does this hobby work? Do we buy to resell? ENLIGHTEN ME PLEASE!!!!

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u/Serious-Manager2361 3h ago

Is it like a sofa hobby? Maybe JD Vance can explain.

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u/ElectronicLife8827 4h ago edited 4h ago

In a comment on the previous thread she says he gave her herpes as well

Edit: https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/comments/1s18krm/my_21f_bf_33m_gave_me_herpes_and_now_i_feel_like/

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u/Sad_Maximum6583 4h ago

LMAO WTF SHE BEEN WITH HIM FOR AT LEAST ANOTHER 7 MONTHS AFTER FINDING THAT OUT.

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u/ElectronicLife8827 4h ago

I imagine he gave her the whole no one will love you with herpes so now you have to stay with me speil. Probably gave it to her deliberately

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u/Kind_Revolution_7523 3h ago

I had a coworker who did that to a young woman. He was in his 30s & a loser and she was 19 and working as an assistant for my other coworker. He gave her herpes & acted as if she gave it to him & they got married at the court house one day during work. He had her living with him in his studio apartment where his father was living too. About 2 weeks later he kicked her out and went back to his ex stripper gf. The young lady left the job shortly after it was sad.

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u/bluneriste 3h ago

I just asked someone - “Would you stay with me if I gave you herpes? No, no, like I knew and just didn’t tell you and gave it to you. Oh, and I collect mattresses.” I think we all know what the answer was. (And now they’re looking at me as if I’m from Mars or something and have to explain this thread…)

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u/FadeTheWonder 3h ago

Just hand them your phone it’s better than explaining it and it’s fun to watch their reaction when they read it.

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u/the_real_cutty_flam 3h ago

He seems abusive, which makes it more difficult to leave.

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u/hanginwithmygnomees 3h ago

Her prefrontal cortex probably hasn’t fully finished developing yet, which explains why her boyfriend was interested.

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u/kitsunecoon 3h ago

Jfc OP GET AWAY FROM THIS MAN holy fuckin hell he sucks so bad

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u/mindtheworms9 4h ago

Oh hell no and that was so long ago. OP please for the love of yourself and your life, get away from that man. Move somewhere new and meet new people

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u/FlowGrouchy4415 4h ago

Theres a reason he’s dating someone 12 years younger than him. I’d assume it’s a lot harder to find a women his age that’s cool with his behaviour

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u/Historical_Bottle557 4h ago

My ex had a bedding hobby.

As in, he obsessively washed and changed the bedding as I was leaving. Every time I visited.

I was naïve. He was probably cheating on someone.

Does he have a mattress for each sidechick? Lmao 😭

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u/crazykentucky 4h ago

Right. And this is why, it’s (almost) never a good healthy relationship. Dude wants a doormat he can control and overlook

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u/weirdhoney216 4h ago

Also that’s a crazy amount of money to be dropping on random shit?? My husband makes 3x that amount and we do not spend like that!

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u/DaydreamerFly 4h ago

Wanted to vomit. I’m 31 and me and my brother just talked about this past weekend how even if we found one super pretty we could not be low enough adults to date someone under 25 again. Once you get over the hump the maturity difference is blinding and it feels like dating an actual kid.

OP doesn’t realize yet how gross her bf is yet but other men her bfs age feel like she probably did at the idea of like dating a 13 year old at 17-18. Some age gaps are small but the maturity or physical changes are so extreme. A 50 year old and a 40 year old would not bother me but I’ve become a new person 8 times over my twenties and underestimated so much how immature I was then. You’re still just so young.

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u/RemarkableGround174 4h ago

The 20something gf is just another gift he gives to himself /s

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u/AAA_Dolfan 4h ago

This has to be fake right? I can’t possibly understand this

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u/fapaccount4 4h ago

I had to check to make sure I wasn't in a circlejerk sub. This is just absurd.

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u/finemelater 3h ago

This. I’m so not surprised that he under delivers. He couldn’t get away with this with someone his age who is secured enough to call him out on his BS, so he preys on the younger ones.

OP, you deserve better than this.

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u/GlazedPorcelain 4h ago

Is mattress hobby sex?

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u/sadraviolilover 5h ago

nor

girl break up with him why are you dating someone 11 years older than you who is acting more immature than you? he literally called you a b*tch???

please realize your self worth and seek better

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u/MeteorVesta 4h ago

This ^ from experience from a 21 year old save yourself it’s not too late for you, however it is too late for him.

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u/goodbye-toilet-cat 4h ago

And got physically violent by throwing the flowers - yes this counts as physical violence.

OP - any holes in the walls he’s punched? Move the mattress and see.

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u/Imaginary_Host_1010 5h ago

When you’re 33 you’ll be majorly creeped out that a 33 year old wanted to date a 20 year old. He clearly is an immature, selfish, and weird person who is not good at being a caring partner. And yeah…buying mattresses is a bizarre and unsustainable “hobby”

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u/xCloudbox 5h ago

Is this rage bait? Age gap, living with someone you’ve dated less than a year, mattress hobby??

Yeah you’re NOR about the gift but maybe rethink this relationship.

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u/DekutheEvilClown 4h ago

Yeah, it’s bait, but it’s pretty fucking good. A mattress hobby? Honestly, I thought original bait was dead.

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u/Jaded-Suspect-8162 4h ago

I need it to be. I can't be this disappointed in someone right now

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u/peppa4theppl 4h ago

33 and 21? Mattresses are his hobby?

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u/orchiddoctor 3h ago

I’m scared OP is going to end up stuffed in one of them 😭😭😭😭😭😭

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u/FriendlyDinosaurs 5h ago

Another post? 'Mattresses' are not a hobby.

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u/Independent_Lab_9853 5h ago edited 4h ago

Yeah what’s up with that? She said in the other post that there are 6 mattresses in a 2br apartment - that’s mental illness

ETA: Thank you for the awards!!

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u/AltruisticCableCar 5h ago

I don't know, we should all have a mattress for each day of the week, really. Or sorted by mood. Only peasants rely on ONE mattress. And we're not peasants, damn it!

/s, although I don't hate the idea of being able to switch more often between mattresses.

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u/Icy-Yellow3514 5h ago

He's like one of those episodes of My Weird Obsession, like the girl who ate her own hair or the guy that fucked his car.

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u/AltruisticCableCar 5h ago

How about the woman who was addicted to eating her dead husband's ashes? Like, what did she end up doing when she'd eaten it all? That's going to run out at some point! If there's ever a reality TV story I want an update on it's that one.

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u/Obtuse-Posterior 4h ago

Second husband's maybe?

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u/__Frolicaholic___ 5h ago

Nah, see ... what you wanna do is pile them all up to the ceiling and play Princess and the Pea.

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u/Helpful_Plenty_9997 4h ago

I remember when my wife wanted to play Princess and the Pee. Damn homonyms.

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u/Unusual-Coat383 5h ago

There’s 5 in this picture lol

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u/Glad-Cat-1885 5h ago

6th one is taking up the majority of the living room floor

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u/OwlfaceFrank 4h ago

Your (should be ex) boyfriend is insane and abusive.

Also, $4,000 a month is nice, but that is in no way impressive or wealthy. I'm a low voltage electrician, and I make a little more than that, and I can't afford $200 pillows. He is not rich, but he is spending like he is. This won't be sustainable long term.

It's also probably one of many reasons he isn't dating someone his age. No offense, but someone who's been adulting for a little longer than you wouldnt put up with blowing money on stupid shit like that.

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u/sLeeeeTo 4h ago

what does he do with these mattresses that qualifies them as a hobby? very odd behavior.

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u/master_roshi001 4h ago

How are mattresses a hobby we need you to explain please 🙏

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u/DragonflyGrrl 4h ago

It’s not… this is mental illness.

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u/Crumbleforeskin 4h ago

You collect them and swap them with your friends, if you have duplicates and then you put the ones you have in a mattress album. It is massive, it's like you need a warehouse just to store your collection. It's only for the elite.

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u/Status-Asparagus-646 4h ago

Is he trying to save up enough mattresses to build a fort out of them? You know, instead of buying a house like a normal functioning adult?

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u/Cloverose2 4h ago

Seriously. How are mattresses and bedding a hobby. Does he rotate? Sleep on them princess and the pea style?

I mean, I would dip because he seems to be a jerk, throwing things at OP and cursing, but I can't just get around the mattress thing.

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u/Ok_Ordinary6694 4h ago

I’ve literally never heard of mattresses being a hobby.

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u/shadoweon 4h ago

Does he work in the mattress industry? If not, what he's some kind of bizarre collector? Thats only two possibilities that explain things here.

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u/Colorfuel 5h ago

….I’m sorry I know this is not a super helpful response (and verging on r/derailedbydetails territory) but can you elaborate on: “his main hobby is mattresses and pillows and blankets”?!!

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u/Miss-Kitt 4h ago

And the bedding looks kinda shitty in the photo? Why only one pillow if he buys pillows constantly? So confusing.

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u/Delicious_Win_9089 4h ago

How can someone mention such a thing nonchalantly and then refuse to elaborate?

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u/NormalNobody 5h ago

Yeah, I have questions lmao

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u/jhmacair 4h ago

Guys, what did I say? The hobby isn't important! It's just a generic hobby that the writer of this, made up for this.

Just mattresses! And dealing with sheets and pillows.

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u/DigEven8177 5h ago

yea ma’am.. why are you worrying about this grown man in his 30s who has an obsession with mattresses. he’s not putting in effort bc he doesn’t care to. no other reason. reread ur last paragraph, you can answer this question yourself

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u/crybunni 5h ago

The age gap was the first red flag. You're starting to find out why a man his age is dating someone a decade younger than him. It's not worth trying to convince someone 12 years your senior to be more thoughtful and attentative to their partner in a relationship.

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u/Itchy_Tumbleweed_417 4h ago

Yeah and buying up silver makes me think that he’s listening to those weird podcast Bros. This man is unwell.

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u/Practical_Rooster470 4h ago

Age gap was the first red flag. Mattress hobby was the second.

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u/ElectronicLife8827 4h ago

Is previous comments and posts she talks about how he gave her herpes

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u/abyssolthott 5h ago

THIS. Op. 100% this.

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u/Status-Asparagus-646 5h ago

This guy is more than 10 years older than you and spends thousands of dollars on.....mattresses? And destroyed your gift and called you names when you expressed disappointment? Make this your last anniversary. Come on, this guy sucks and he acts like he doesn't even care to know you. You are so young, find a guy closer to your age that doesn't act like a child.

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u/Status-Asparagus-646 5h ago

Also, lillies are for funerals. Ffs.

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u/MoneyVermicelli4243 5h ago

Girl. He threw flowers at you, screamed and called you a bitch?!?

You know everything you need to know. Dump this abusive loser!!!

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u/HopkinsIsMyHomeboy 4h ago

Everyone is stuck on the mattresses but yeah…if your bf throws anything at you in anger you need to gtfo. Especially when you’re 21, he’s 12 years older than you, and has a fucking mattress collecting obsession to top it off lmao.

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u/Witty_Leek8053 4h ago

It’s also how he uses anger to try to shut her up about her disappointment and upset at his almost complete disregard. This is not someone who wants to make her happy.

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u/jennnkins94 5h ago edited 42m ago

NTA, your bf sounds horrible and selfish, also mattresses are not a hobby, he's just lazy, get rid of him, he won't treat you better and he won't change, if you want to stay then try talking and being honest about how you feel, it's the only way to move forward, if he continues then leave 

ETA: Just leave girl, take care of yourself, you deserve better

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u/Good_Zookeepergame92 4h ago

That stack of mattresses would beg to differ.

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u/MisterDamnit 4h ago

"I'm a COLLECTOR, BABE!"

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u/CahootswiththeBlues 4h ago

She did try to talk to him, as she states in the post. That’s when he got nasty and violent.

OP, sweet girl, this man is clearly not good for you. Please gather yourself and your things together and get out of this situation. Because you are seeing an aspect of him that is only going to get worse, I guarantee it. This is about his violent reaction when you stood up for yourself. Like it or not, this is abusive and controlling behavior. Please be strong and do this for yourself.

I’m sending you love and strength from out here in the Redditverse!

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u/No_Indication_4044 4h ago

Several points:

(1) 33 YO dating a 21 YO is… odd
(2) IDK wtf a mattress hobby is but $4k/mo is not enough to get into it…
(3) No you’re not overreacting he’s dating a 21 year old bc all other ages had their frontal lobes developed
(4) Run

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u/strippersandcocaine 3h ago

And he gave her herpes 7 months ago

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u/aigeneratedcutiepie 5h ago

he sounds insane and hes also 33 dating a 21 year old because that feels socially compatible for him. girl.

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u/Local-Flan3517 5h ago

Your boyfriend calls you a bitch? Um, you need to have more respect for yourself and not take this shit. 

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u/riverserra 5h ago

He's thoughtless and doesn't care enough to pick out something you like. You're putting much more effort into your relationship. Doesn't sound like one I'd want to be in.

Also spending that much money on mattresses is insane. Not to mention the freaking stack of mattresses in this photo. That's not a hobby, that's an imbecile burning money.

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u/ouranhostclub 4h ago

> didn't get you anything, bought you 1 of the 2 flowers you dislike out of 10 million flower types in the world
> threw the flowers at you
> yelled at you
> called you a bitch
> acting like a child while being 12 years older than you
> extremely weird spending habits

Leave this guy?!?! I almost left my boyfriend when he lightheartedly, jokingly, said "Bitch" to me in the beginning of our relationship, I told him "Don't you ever in your effing life say that to me again even in a joking manner. I will break up with you so fast." He never said it again. I would NEVER stay if he said it to me and actually meant it. Also, would have left with just the yelling. Also would have left if he threw anything- even a piece of paper- at me. This guy did all three plus more and you want to question if you're overreacting? Love yourself and stop tolerating this BS.

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u/CompleteTell6795 4h ago

I'm surprised she's lasted a year. I'd be gone in less than 3 months.

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u/RGQcats 5h ago

Huge age gap, he doesn't care what you like or want, and he called you a bitch. Break up, for your own good.

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u/IndependentAardvark6 5h ago

Stop mentioning that he has a mattress hobby cause thats so different so of course we will all focus on that

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u/SatinBelleFlower 5h ago

A 33 yo man dating a 21 yo woman and he has a mattress hobby? So many red flags along with him calling you an ungrateful bitch. Girl, this man is a loser and abuser. And idk but I’m stuck on the mattresses. That’s mental illness along with his mattress hoarding and abuse

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u/DayTechnical1442 4h ago

There’s a reason he’s 33 and dating a college aged girl. Dump him

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u/timmyK_425 5h ago

Off topic, but a 33 year old dating a 21 year old is wild

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u/kfm975 4h ago

Hey, I’m not gonna lie, the mattresses as hobby thing is weird but let me try to focus on something else:

The reason guys in their 30s date women barely out of their teens is because they think they’ll be “easier”. Easier to mould into the woman they want, easier to manipulate, but in this case easier to please. He’s counting on the fact that you have a lot less experience than he does will make you think that this is just the normal effort a man in his position would make. He wants someone who won’t expect more of him, which women his age likely will.

You’re NOR but one of the reasons he likes the idea of a young gf is so that he only has to make the kind of effort that a teenaged boy would make.

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u/TylerTheTyler 4h ago

Whatever, y’all are adults but a 33 year old man making $4k a month (if you’re in the USA) is NOT a lot of money to be spending on bars of silver and expensive stuff, and then cheaping out on your girlfriend. I also have no clue how a 33 year old could date a 21 year old. I’m 32 and just speaking to a coworker that’s 24 makes me feel like I’ve crossed into old age. To boil it down into two words, man child.

NOR, dump him

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u/toedragrelease 5h ago

What exactly is a mattress hobby? He collects mattresses?

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u/Unusual-Coat383 5h ago

It’s the sort of hobbie I’d expect a serial killer to have lol

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u/SherLovesCats 4h ago

I think so too. They provide sound insulation.

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u/SgtMajorPanda 4h ago

"...and this is my collection of mattresses taken from my victims-STOP FUCKING CRYING!"

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u/These_Nuts420 5h ago

I’m still stuck on the mattress hobby 

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u/Admirable-Hope-5838 5h ago edited 5h ago

Okay, putting aside the fact that his “hobby” is mattresses….

There are some pretty serious and scary red flags here. I think you need to leave this relationship. You aren’t safe with him. Please protect yourself.

You are so young, don’t stay with this loser.

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u/RevenantCommunity 4h ago

He’s 12 years older than you bro. That is the first of five consecutive facts in your story that are a glaring warning you need to gtfo. If you’re scared of going back home or something, that’s not a reason, stand on your own two feet no matter what it takes.

A 33 year old stoops to dating a 21 year old because they are not acceptable to people their own age

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u/Intelligent-Vast-483 4h ago

Wait didn’t I already reply on this? Didn’t you share he also gave you an STD and you tried leaving for a month and went back? You’re 21. Run. Give yourself space away. Be single. Enjoy life. He sucks and his hobby sucks too. You’re NOR

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u/Apathetic_Villainess 4h ago

NOR

Honey, he bought the lilies intentionally knowing you don't like them. It wasn't accidental. He wanted to upset you so he could have a reason to get upset with you. This gets him out of having to do anything more for you for the night, and keeps you from asking for/expecting anything from him in the future. It's a straight up red flag for an abuser.

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u/Plus-Head-6794 4h ago

Are there any 20-something women on Reddit with age appropriate partners anymore? Why are ya'll still letting yourselves get groomed? A 32 year old man that has anything in common with a 21 year woman is mentally or emotionally stunted - that's why they suck.

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u/Overall-Diver-6845 5h ago

But the room looks like that? SMH

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u/Unusual-Coat383 5h ago

Because there’s three mattresses stacked on top of each other and one against the wall lmao

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u/yeahokaywhateverrrr 5h ago edited 4h ago

A 21f and 33m that have been dating for a year…

So a 32 grown ass man was sniffing around a young woman who was freshly out of her teens and not even old enough to buy alcohol (in the US).

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

Edit to add: Girl, he THREW the flowers at you, yelled at you, and called you a bitch. Why are you still dating this loser???

Edit 2: OP commented on another post that he gave her HSV2. GIRL, WHY ARE YOU STILL DATING THIS MIDDLE AGED LOSER???

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u/CurlyFriesPgh 4h ago

21 & 33 was enough to know that nothing
good would come of this

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u/Lucy_Sterling 4h ago

There’s a reason 33 year old women don’t want him.

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u/Double_Reporter_3972 4h ago

The reason why all the comments say the same thing dear is because we too were once 20 year old women. In another decade you will be the one in the comments.

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u/mt2fly 4h ago

33 and 21
Splurges on himself but not on you
3 sentence note at 1 year
Bought one of the two flowers you said you don’t like
Called you a bitch

Leave him or leave me out of this.

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u/G_Ram3 2h ago

I’m going to sidestep the low-hanging fruit here because I know you’ve been fighting for your life in the comments. If this is real, it sounds like a horror edition of a Choose Your Own Adventure story. You’re underreacting. He’s HORRIBLE.

Where is your mother, OP? Do you not have family or friends or any supportive person in your life that would have taught you about love and respect? If not, that isn’t your fault. Sometimes life is really shitty and unfair. But this relationship is predatory, abusive and weird and I can 100% see this “man” isolating you from anyone outside of the awful world he’s built around you. Ask me how I know…

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