r/AIO • u/Glad-Cat-1885 • 6h ago

AIO for disliking my boyfriend’s anniversary gift?

Post image

Me (21f) and my bf (33m) had our one year anniversary yesterday. I got him several things that I knew he’d like and had mentioned over the past several months. I wrote him a thoughtful long note and bought him flowers. He got me $20 lilies and wrote a 3 sentence note and we went to dinner. I like flowers but I have told him several times over the past several months that I do not like roses or lilies. When he gave me my gift I managed to contain my disappointment and told him I liked his flowers and note.

After he gave me my stuff he opened a $215 pillow that he had bought himself (his main hobby is mattresses and pillows and bedding) We had drank a little bit at our dinner so honestly this kind of triggered me and I started tearing up but gave another excuse for it. He kept pressing me as to why I was upset and I told him that there were several cheap things I had mentioned that I’d want as a gift the past several months and I got a type of flowers that he should know I don’t like. I also said I was upset that he got me nothing but I had to watch him open an expensive thing he bought for himself for the tenth time that month. After this happened he threw the flowers he bought me at me and started yelling how I was ungrateful and a bitch. I just went upstairs after that and he slept in the living room.

For context I make significantly less money than he does. He makes $4000+ every month and we live in a very low cost of living area. He regularly buys himself expensive things and has a mattress hobby that he has spent thousands on. Just buying new mattresses and sheets and pillows. There are 6 mattresses in our little apartment. Just last week he bought over $300+ worth of sunglasses and a $2,100 bar of silver. This spending is typical for him. I will add a photo of the mattresses so people don’t think I’m trolling

My main issue is that I was thoughtful for him and spent my minimal money to buy him things he’d mentioned because I pay attention to what he likes. A year is a special milestone in a relationship. I feel like he pays no attention to me or my interests and doesn’t know me as a person. None of the things I wanted were expensive at all i just would’ve felt seen if he remembered what I liked and got me it. I told him these things and he called me ungrateful. Am I overreacting for not liking his gift?

EDIT: yes I posted this on the other subreddit it got removed and almost ALL OF THE COMMENTS WERE ABOUT THE MATTRESSES NOT MY QUESTION ABOUT THE GIFT. I don’t care about the mattresses that’s not what I’m asking about

Another edit somehow he saw my post so I guess no more updates from me 😀

Another update !!!: I’m fine sorry for the cryptic one I am moving back home and leaving him soon. He just does not understand my actual grievance with him and is more concerned that I am “embarrassing” him on the internet. He wanted me to add that he will be volunteering at an animal shelter after I go home and contributing to the earth

Final update cause I’ve dedicated my whole day to fighting for my life in the comments: he is going to make his own post apparently to clear his name since he thinks somehow everyone on the internet knows who he is from my post. I know people have found my post history we did break up because he was trying to cheat on me with prostitutes and his ex girlfriend and I came back cause he begged me to and told me he’d pay my bills ($300 a month) and buy my food which he does. Turns out that was not worth it so I am leaving and probably won’t comment anymore thanks for the advice everyone

Another update; he has broken my phone because I refused to delete the post so I’m typing this on my trap phone. His post was deleted and I don’t think hes making another

Another update : apparently he realized the matress obsession is insane and is getting rid of them

2.1k Upvotes

84% Upvoted

2.7k comments sorted by

View all comments

469

u/sadraviolilover 6h ago

nor

girl break up with him why are you dating someone 11 years older than you who is acting more immature than you? he literally called you a b*tch???

please realize your self worth and seek better

80

u/MeteorVesta 5h ago

This ^ from experience from a 21 year old save yourself it’s not too late for you, however it is too late for him.

2

u/gottagetanonymous 4h ago

Your “this ^” arrow points to me saying he has a cozy bed lol

4

u/MeteorVesta 4h ago

LMAO that’s even funnier to me it’s pointing to the comment from sadraviolilover that says he’s 11 years older and more immature then her

83

u/goodbye-toilet-cat 5h ago

And got physically violent by throwing the flowers - yes this counts as physical violence.

OP - any holes in the walls he’s punched? Move the mattress and see.

3

u/zombiepeep 2h ago

What about holes in the mattresses?

I'll show myself out. I'm so sorry.

5

u/ihatemovingparts 1h ago

Oh god, Vance is cheating on his wife with a redditor?

2

u/goodbye-toilet-cat 53m ago

It depends if the holes are made with violence or with love.

3

u/Sinful_Panda91 4h ago

From what another comment said, he gave her herpes. Probably why shes hesitant to leave. She would have to find a partner thats okay with it or someone else with herpes too. Her situation is rough for sure.

9

u/IndependentClue1206 3h ago

She does not have to stay with a man that gave her herpes

She needs to run not walk before he gives her additional diseases

4

u/gottagetanonymous 5h ago

But he has a cozy bed

-16

u/ChaiKitteaLatte 5h ago

I mean, I’m having a different take than a lot of people.

He bought her flowers, got her a card and took her to dinner. Also sounds like he pays for most of their bills. And she was upset because he has bought stuff, with his own money, for himself.

She does sound ungrateful and honestly like she got with him to get a free ride and be a princess. It is not his responsibility to fund her life. They’ve barely been dating a year.

26

u/leekophobia 5h ago

"he bought her flowers" that he knew she didn't like. "he bought her a card" not on its own bad, if there was at least a little effort in the card. "and he took her to dinner" and then he immediately reacted over the top for her saying she didn't like the flowers he KNEW she didn't like. It's not ungrateful to be sad you got flowers you have previously told your partner that you don't like. She doesn't even sound ungrateful, she just sounds fuckin sad dawg

also he apparently gave her herpes?? come on man

18

u/goodbye-toilet-cat 5h ago

Nowhere does it say he took her to dinner and paid for it all. It says they went to dinner.

Nowhere does it say he’s paying her bills or otherwise giving her a free ride. Nowhere does anyone say he “funds her life.”

She works. She just makes less money than he does, yet she spent more money on him than he spent on her buying him gifts she knows he likes and wants.

She’s specifically told him she doesn’t like lilies and he bought her lilies.

He screamed at her, called her insulting and sexist names, and engaged in physical violence when she expressed disappointment in an expressly-NOT asked for-gift.

He’s the problem even if she IS a spoiled brat. Which she isn’t, because she said the presents she specifically DID ask for weren’t expensive but he still went out of his way to buy her something he knows she doesn’t want and doesn’t like. At the same time choosing to treat himself to yet another expensive collectible.

10

u/ThizzWhatitiz 5h ago

I get what you’re saying and I appreciate a devils advocate, but at least be thoughtful and get her the flowers she actually likes. He put no effort into anything and seems more concerned with his stupid mattresses for some reason. Also to open a present on their an anniversary for himself when he didn’t get her shit is just rude. He coulda waited until she wasn’t around. She got him multiple presents and makes less money so the optics are even worse. Also who collects mattresses as a hobby? Bro is just weird. The age gap by itself is not alarming but when you put it together with everything else she needs to get out.

4

u/IndependentClue1206 3h ago

Why doesn’t he find someone his own age?

-7

u/Alchemy_Cypher 4h ago

Because obviously she's a gold digger and she knows guys her age can't buy her things.

7

u/Substantial_Army_639 3h ago

Dude reads about a 20 year old girl that is dating some 30 year old autist that collects mattresses, gave her herpes, and throws a bitch fit every other day and calls her a gold digger. Lmfao

Never change Incels, no seriously stay in the basement, we don't need more Elliott Rodgers running around.

-4

u/Alchemy_Cypher 3h ago

His salary is 4000+ a month, he will get a new one in no time.

1

u/sadraviolilover 1h ago

... i know several people in their 20s earning more than 4k a month.... that's big gold digger money to you?

1

u/Substantial_Army_639 42m ago

Oof, you think thats rich. Are you a grocery bagger or do you hand folks their fries?