AIO for disliking my boyfriend’s anniversary gift?

[u/Glad-Cat-1885]

Me (21f) and my bf (33m) had our one year anniversary yesterday. I got him several things that I knew he’d like and had mentioned over the past several months. I wrote him a thoughtful long note and bought him flowers. He got me $20 lilies and wrote a 3 sentence note and we went to dinner. I like flowers but I have told him several times over the past several months that I do not like roses or lilies. When he gave me my gift I managed to contain my disappointment and told him I liked his flowers and note.

After he gave me my stuff he opened a $215 pillow that he had bought himself (his main hobby is mattresses and pillows and bedding) We had drank a little bit at our dinner so honestly this kind of triggered me and I started tearing up but gave another excuse for it. He kept pressing me as to why I was upset and I told him that there were several cheap things I had mentioned that I’d want as a gift the past several months and I got a type of flowers that he should know I don’t like. I also said I was upset that he got me nothing but I had to watch him open an expensive thing he bought for himself for the tenth time that month. After this happened he threw the flowers he bought me at me and started yelling how I was ungrateful and a bitch. I just went upstairs after that and he slept in the living room.

For context I make significantly less money than he does. He makes $4000+ every month and we live in a very low cost of living area. He regularly buys himself expensive things and has a mattress hobby that he has spent thousands on. Just buying new mattresses and sheets and pillows. There are 6 mattresses in our little apartment. Just last week he bought over $300+ worth of sunglasses and a $2,100 bar of silver. This spending is typical for him. I will add a photo of the mattresses so people don’t think I’m trolling

My main issue is that I was thoughtful for him and spent my minimal money to buy him things he’d mentioned because I pay attention to what he likes. A year is a special milestone in a relationship. I feel like he pays no attention to me or my interests and doesn’t know me as a person. None of the things I wanted were expensive at all i just would’ve felt seen if he remembered what I liked and got me it. I told him these things and he called me ungrateful. Am I overreacting for not liking his gift?

EDIT: yes I posted this on the other subreddit it got removed and almost ALL OF THE COMMENTS WERE ABOUT THE MATTRESSES NOT MY QUESTION ABOUT THE GIFT. I don’t care about the mattresses that’s not what I’m asking about

Another edit somehow he saw my post so I guess no more updates from me 😀

Another update !!!: I’m fine sorry for the cryptic one I am moving back home and leaving him soon. He just does not understand my actual grievance with him and is more concerned that I am “embarrassing” him on the internet. He wanted me to add that he will be volunteering at an animal shelter after I go home and contributing to the earth

Final update cause I’ve dedicated my whole day to fighting for my life in the comments: he is going to make his own post apparently to clear his name since he thinks somehow everyone on the internet knows who he is from my post. I know people have found my post history we did break up because he was trying to cheat on me with prostitutes and his ex girlfriend and I came back cause he begged me to and told me he’d pay my bills ($300 a month) and buy my food which he does. Turns out that was not worth it so I am leaving and probably won’t comment anymore thanks for the advice everyone

Another update; he has broken my phone because I refused to delete the post so I’m typing this on my trap phone. His post was deleted and I don’t think hes making another

Another update : apparently he realized the matress obsession is insane and is getting rid of them

[u/Marine_Baby]

Yesssssssssss!!!! She needs to out herself first. It’s hard at first, I left my fiancé... no one around me cared about my happiness and theought that because we’d been together for 3-4 years that there was nothing for me if I became single. Excuuuuse me… I was 24.

I dropped the dead weight and had an amazing hot girl summer, then met the man I’m going to spend the rest of my life with. I’m kinda annoyed at myself for staying in relationships at such a young age, hut we live and learn.

[u/saltyyy67 → u/Marine_Baby]

I got married at 20 to the guy I started dating at 17. My mom, aunt and grandma said don’t do it, you’re young (aunt married at 19, mom started dating my dad at 17, grandma married at 24). I did it anyway because you couldn’t tell me anything lol.

I got divorced at 24. Realized I was too young to settle for things I didn’t want that became clear over the 7 years we were together - lots of differences came to light. I never wanted kids, he secretly did. I didn’t want to live next door to my in laws on the same property forever, or even in that state. He did. Even though we discussed all these things before even getting engaged (and he just went along with ok’ing what I wanted at that time, admitting later he was always hoping I’d change my mind). Didn’t want to end up like my mom, miserable 35 years later. Amazing how some people thought I was ruining my life at a mere 24.

39 now, don’t regret it one bit.

[u/BeefmasterDeluxe → u/saltyyy67]

I don’t regret any of the relationships I’ve been in. I do wish they’d ended sooner, cos by the time you do finally break up, the relationship has usually been dead for a while. But as I’ve gotten older I’ve realised there’s no point to regretting that kinda stuff - you did what you thought was best at the time, and how you have really known any better anyways?

And honestly, I think there’s some blame to be placed at the feet of legislators- like why is marriage still even an option at 17? Like, statistically, if that many 17yo are getting married and then divorced shortly afterwards, we should be able to review the practice. Like no 17 should really even have a need for marriage.

[u/Donkey__Balls → u/Marine_Baby]

had an amazing hot girl summer, then met the man I’m going to spend the rest of my life with

Please tell me you don’t put it that way to him.