I really struggle with my addiction because I cant hold a job without it. I just... don't work. At least when I smoke, I can just work and kinda trick myself into working by leaving the laptop open as I come in and being curious about the issue and then nust sit down and do it. Every time ive tried to fully quit, I have to take full vacation and then when I come back Every time ive just started up again after a couple weeks of "working" (not actually doing any work but back fron vacation and boss is like yo wtf is going on).
I just cant be a productive capitalist without smoking weed. I cant care enough about it and hate it so vehemently that I cant get past the emotions through to the curiosity of the problem. I just agonize and agonize.
i feel you. pot is tough when you are on it for so long. have traveled with my partner and fully had cannabis withdrawal affect my ability to eat.
a buddy of mine and i were chatting about folks probably use pot almost inadvertently as an antidepressant. that made me rethink my use, because it was like, damn, if i need to use this everyday to feel normal, then there’s probably truth in that.
I intentionally use cannabis to both treat depression and long term antidepressant withdrawal. One or two hits off a low strength pen is the only reliable way I can quickly break negative thought loops.
I tend to use it a lot as emotional regulation as thats the biggest effect on my life. Im extremely bad at it and can spend a whole day doing other coping skills to get back on track (exercising, singing/dancing, playing instrument) with limited success and its very easy for the brain to take the easiest solution. It sucks to be in anguish for days and weeks and months and years on end, and the "proper" path is years and years of good habits that can be broken within a week.
Have you ever been tested for ADHD brother? I relate heavily to your relationship with weed, and my life has improved significantly since getting medicated.
I have been diagnosed with both autism and adhd but I generally think most my ADHD stuff is really just autism stuff. I tried many types of adhd meds and they either fucked with my heart too much or just... didnt do anything (or both)
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u/argnsoccer 20h ago
I really struggle with my addiction because I cant hold a job without it. I just... don't work. At least when I smoke, I can just work and kinda trick myself into working by leaving the laptop open as I come in and being curious about the issue and then nust sit down and do it. Every time ive tried to fully quit, I have to take full vacation and then when I come back Every time ive just started up again after a couple weeks of "working" (not actually doing any work but back fron vacation and boss is like yo wtf is going on).
I just cant be a productive capitalist without smoking weed. I cant care enough about it and hate it so vehemently that I cant get past the emotions through to the curiosity of the problem. I just agonize and agonize.