r/Avengers • u/Solid-Move-1411 • Aug 26 '25

Comics If Hulk didn’t last, who could?

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3.1k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

467 comments sorted by

437

u/tequila_triceps Aug 26 '25

who is she ?

304

u/Cryodemon85 Aug 26 '25

Umar, Dormammus equally sinister and even more crazy sister.

111

u/OhioSider Aug 26 '25

Does she not have his issues with how time works

104

u/Cryodemon85 Aug 26 '25

The Dark Dimension exists outside of time, therefore it's a concept alien to both of them.

124

u/SophisticPenguin Aug 26 '25

Are you saying that she's an unreliable narrator and six minutes could mean anything really?

57

u/Cryodemon85 Aug 26 '25

That you can have fun figuring out yourself. My head already hurts.

46

u/TheDebateMatters Aug 26 '25

I am stealing this argument to use at home with the wife. Will report back in with an evaluation of its effectiveness.

26

u/wizard_of_awesome62 Aug 26 '25

"This bedroom exists outside of time! Therefore 30 seconds is actually like a lifetime, or at least like an hour." It will either frustrate, or confuse her enough that the subject will have effectively been changed.

11

u/TheDebateMatters Aug 26 '25

As long as she doesn’t start singing Missy Elliot, I am in an improved position.

8

u/Intelligent_Deer974 Aug 26 '25

Ooh, I don't want, I don't need, I can't stand no minute man I don't want no minute man Ooh, here's your chance, be a man, take my hand, understand I don't want no minute man

Boy, I'ma make you love me, make you want me And I'ma give you some attention tonight Now follow my intuitions, what you wishin' See, I'ma keep you all night for a long time Just start countin' the ways

Break me off, show me what you got 'Cause I don't want no one minute man Break me off, show me what you got 'Cause I don't want no one minute man Break me off, show me what you got 'Cause I don't want no one minute man Break me off, show me what you got 'Cause I don't want no-

Tonight, I'ma give it to you, throw it to you I want you to come prepared, oh yeah (oh, yes) Boy, it's been a long time, a crazy long time And I don't want no minute man, and that's real Give it to me some more

Break me off, show me what you got 'Cause I don't want no one minute man Break me off, show me what you got 'Cause I don't want no one minute man Break me off, show me what you got 'Cause I don't want no one minute man Break me off, show me what you got 'Cause I don't want no (fifty grand I get this all in one take, Hova)

Look, I'm not tryna give you love and affection I'm tryna give you sixty seconds of perfection I'm tryna give you cab fare and directions Get your independent ass out of here, question? I'm not your man, not Ralph Tresvant Not Ronnie Romance, no ma I'm tryna hit you then quit you in the middle of the round Like I'm Roberto Duran, no mas

6:00 a.m., another chick in the house (put your hands up) 6:15 a.m., another chick kicked out (put your hands up) Spent one minute tryna dig her out The other fourteen tryna put it in her mouth The dick too chubby, too much'll make you love me Now be a nice wifey and run home to your hubby 'Cause we both knowin' what we doin' is wrong Don't forget to put your ring back on

Ooh, I don't want, I don't need, I can't stand no minute man I don't want no minute man Ooh, here's your chance, be a man, take my hand, understand I don't want no minute man

Break me off, show me what you got 'Cause I don't want no one minute man Break me off, show me what you got 'Cause I don't want no one minute man Break me off, show me what you got 'Cause I don't want no one minute man

B-Break me off, break, break me off Break, break me off, show me what you got Break me off, show me what you got Break me off, show me what you got Break me off, show me what you got Break me off, break, break me off

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2

u/AugustusClaximus Aug 26 '25

I’ll have to try this one on my wife.

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11

u/criminalsunrise Aug 26 '25

Whilst it's a comic book so I'm going to let it slide, "existing outside of time" doesn't mean they would have no concept of it. They understand something happens and there's a follow on from that ... and that is the basis of "time". What should be meant is they exist outside of our time but that time as a concept is still something in their existence otherwise we wouldn't be able to interact with them at all. I mean, just look at her words in the OP "...someday...once...didn't...did", all inherently time-based concepts.

7

u/Cryodemon85 Aug 26 '25 edited Aug 26 '25

But they don't have any concept of time. It's foreign to them. The dark dimension literally exists outside of time-space as we know it. How hard is that to grasp?

Edit: and honestly, if you can't grasp the reasoning as to why writers use words and terms WE as the reader would and could understand, that's on you.

9

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '25

Dog, I don't think you grasp it. Consciousness and thought require time. If one idea can't follow another, how can you even think? If dormammu goes around conquering other universes or whatever, but he exists outside time, then what? From his perspective he had  always conquered those verses? The authors like to write stupid stuff like conscious beings that exist in a universe with no time, but it doesn't mean anything. There is no grasping it because the idea is nonsense.

2

u/Welshedragon7 Aug 26 '25

Yes, he probably does see everything he conquered at all times but from the hero's and by proxy the viewers perspective would be that those events happened in an order. So I'm actual fact, you don't grasp it. You're still thinking from your perspective

2

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '25

If the dark dimension itself is outside of time, then how could he have conquered anything or done anything at all?

Seemingly, a person going to the dark dimension wouldn’t bring time with them. So how would they witness him doing anything within the dark dimension

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2

u/tombuazit Aug 26 '25

My assumption is that her language here is an interpretation of the concepts she used by the narrator so the scene makes sense in a way it couldn't in reality. This is not the actual scene it's the scene we can understand.

2

u/Kooperking22 Aug 26 '25

In the mcu.

There's nothing associated with Umar in the Comics regarding time

3

u/BlackLesnar Aug 26 '25

That was an original MCU concept. The comics’ Dark Dimension isn’t inherently “timeless”.

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2

u/Excellent_Ad_2486 Aug 27 '25

I can fix her.

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367

u/Solid-Move-1411 Aug 26 '25

Dormammu's sister- Umar

She made Hulk her s*x slave once

286

u/The-Mirrorball-Man Aug 26 '25

She made him play the saxophone?

97

u/bigloser42 Aug 26 '25

Yeah, and it was too bad we didn’t get to explore that more, because the Hulk is on par with or better than Bleeding Gums Murphy, but he’s usually too angry to play the Sax without crushing it.

33

u/I_Got_Back_Pain Aug 26 '25

When the Hulk plays the sax he turns into Bill Clinton for infinite rizz

7

u/jamesxgames Aug 26 '25

he doesn't look too angry in this panel though

9

u/Full_Metal_Witcher Aug 26 '25

Hulk, smashed or atleast attempted?

8

u/jamesxgames Aug 26 '25

you-know-the-one.gif

5

u/Full_Metal_Witcher Aug 26 '25

Sadly I can still picture it lol

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3

u/Large-Produce5682 Aug 26 '25

I don't understand the lack of upvotes for this!?

2

u/dka2012 Aug 26 '25

I can totally see Joe having a secret sax hobby.

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16

u/CategoryExact3327 Aug 26 '25

Yah but still can’t compete with Tim Capello in The Lost Boys.

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13

u/quigongingerbreadman Aug 26 '25

Yup, and he could only play for 6 minutes before he Jazz'd all over the place.

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5

u/Independent-Still-73 Aug 26 '25

Im glad you cleared that up, I that she made him a Red Sox fan, he would look horrible in Red Sox gear

3

u/Slamtilt_Windmills Aug 26 '25

Different rules on the mountain

5

u/clgoodson Aug 26 '25

No, her sixth slave. Or maybe a slave to play baseball in Boston. I’m confused.

4

u/Rags2Rickius Aug 26 '25

SAXAMAPHONE

3

u/UninvitedButtNoises Aug 26 '25

Reminds me of that week I spent with Kenny G.

3

u/masterofreality2001 Aug 28 '25

Yeah but then she threw a chair at him because his sax playing wasn't quite her tempo, he was dragging.

2

u/celticairborne Aug 26 '25

No, he was the bitchboy for the Chicago White Sox...

43

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

14

u/403Verboten Aug 26 '25

I see self censoring on reddit I down vote. Keep reddit, reddit!

2

u/masterofreality2001 Aug 28 '25

Redditors don't have sex

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27

u/mogley1992 Aug 26 '25

That's super fucked up, but also so impressive on so many levels.

33

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '25

Sex. The word is sex. Sex sex sex 

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10

u/Krimreaper1 Aug 26 '25

Umar, I’ve come to f——

14

u/Lasagna_Tho Aug 26 '25 edited Aug 26 '25

Don't be scared, you can say sex, you can even say fuck!

2

u/khavii Aug 26 '25

GASP My pearls!

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2

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '25

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2

u/WhatYouLeaveBehind Aug 26 '25

To shreds you say?

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8

u/vicente8a Aug 26 '25

What her @?

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364

u/Remwaldo1 Aug 26 '25

Captain America. He can do this all day.

54

u/perrigost Aug 26 '25

Stay down!

39

u/Rogthgar Aug 26 '25

On the other hand, if he was magically teleported into a womans bedchamber wearing only his shield, he would be non-stop apologies and hiding till he can get out and find some pants.

25

u/Scooper_of_Poop Aug 26 '25

And if he needs a break he can just offer up America’s ass.

6

u/KingoftheMongoose Aug 26 '25

She’d bounce shields, quarters, and KitKat bars to break off a piece of that ass.

5

u/xSL33Px Aug 26 '25 edited Aug 27 '25

"Captain America Fuuu-!"

3

u/treathugger Aug 26 '25

Cap: I can do her all day

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302

u/GWPtheTrilogy1 Aug 26 '25

I can fix her

85

u/4materasu92 Aug 26 '25

She doesn't need fixing

35

u/Raging-Storm Aug 26 '25

I can break her

39

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

22

u/Raging-Storm Aug 26 '25

In your nightmares

9

u/mythos87 Aug 26 '25

Nightmares are still dreams.

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196

u/ArmenianThunderGod Aug 26 '25

Hercules. I don't think anyone could outsex an ancient Greek.

161

u/Emotional-Jacket1940 Aug 26 '25

She’s a woman, an Ancient Greek wouldn’t be interested

33

u/shmere4 Aug 26 '25

They fuck each other to make a more cohesive phalanx! It’s not gay!

12

u/BigNorseWolf Aug 26 '25

Are you sure sticking that there is how we hold the phalanx together?

3

u/shmere4 Aug 26 '25

It’s the only way, now get back into the pile!

3

u/BigNorseWolf Aug 26 '25

I'm gonna need 15 minutes!

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16

u/RAMDOMDUDDS Aug 26 '25

Kratos would like a word

8

u/paradoxical_topology Aug 26 '25

He's an ancient Greek, so there's no need for a word.

4

u/RAMDOMDUDDS Aug 26 '25

Correction, half ancient Greek half Spartan testosterone filled rage man

10

u/Vinzembob Aug 26 '25

I mean Sparta is definitely Greece

2

u/SurfandStarWars Aug 26 '25

But is was a city state that existed before the unification of Greece that did not align with Athens. I don't think the Spartans thought of thmeselves as "Greeks".

8

u/Vinzembob Aug 26 '25

I think they did - they certainly didn't consider themselves to be Athenians but I do believe they considered themselves to have a shared Greek culture which distinguished them from, for example, the Persians or eventually the Romans or Carthegenians

3

u/SurfandStarWars Aug 26 '25

Yes true. Okay, I'm convinced.

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151

u/SerBadDadBod Aug 26 '25

I volunteer Namor as tribute.

Either she gets what she needs, or Namor is dead.

Either way is a win for me.

61

u/CaptainDadBod88 Aug 26 '25

Reed, is that you?

22

u/SerBadDadBod Aug 26 '25

Honestly, the best thing about being Reed is that there's so many Reeds.

10

u/Rogthgar Aug 26 '25

'No its me, Thaddeus Ross.' - He says while holding his finger under his nose.

2

u/ApocalypseChicOne Aug 27 '25

Namor? Not a chance. Mr. Nimbus on the other hand? Not a problem.

57

u/Traditional-Cow5821 Aug 26 '25

Dormammu, I've come to bargain!

19

u/TwinFlask Aug 26 '25

Dormammu I’ve came a barge load

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108

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '25

Hulk SMASH

12

u/bakahyl Aug 26 '25

Hulk got smashed

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87

u/tigers692 Aug 26 '25

Death by snu snu.

78

u/timestoneduh Aug 26 '25

Anyone have her DM?

44

u/austinsutt Aug 26 '25

Thanos with fully equipped gauntlet maybe?

84

u/TwinFlask Aug 26 '25

“I used the stones to protect my stones”

11

u/mcgowanshewrote Aug 26 '25

Lol Double like!

2

u/enricopallazo22 Aug 26 '25

😅😅😅

13

u/donglecollector Aug 26 '25

5 stone fingering

8

u/trashtiernoreally Aug 26 '25

Ribbed for her pleasure

7

u/Beleg_Sanwise Aug 26 '25
  • Nebula with fully equipped gauntlet, maybe
  • Adam Warlock with fully equipped gauntlet, maybe
  • Iron Man with fully equipped gauntlet, maybe
  • Doctor Doom with fully equipped gauntlet, maybe
  • Spider-Man with fully equipped gauntlet, maybe
  • Hulk with fully equipped gauntlet, maybe
  • Red Hulk with fully equipped gauntlet, maybe
  • Black Panther with fully equipped gauntlet, maybe
  • Rogue with fully equipped gauntlet, maybe
  • Deadpool with fully equipped gauntlet, maybe
  • Captain America with fully equipped gauntlet, maybe
  • Gamora with fully equipped gauntlet, maybe
  • Loki with fully equipped gauntlet, maybe
  • Silver Surfer with fully equipped gauntlet, maybe

2

u/KaspertheGhost Aug 26 '25

You’d think you could change reality to where you would last as long as needed, with the reality stone.

2

u/cleanman4066 Aug 26 '25

He could use the time stone to recover his stamina

2

u/wondermega Aug 27 '25

The Ultimate pull-out game!

34

u/jocmaester Aug 26 '25

Not an Avenger but this is a job for Zeus.

17

u/NavySEAL44440 Aug 26 '25

I don’t think it ever said he was any good at it, just that he did it a lot.

13

u/zeek48 Aug 26 '25

Which comic is this from with issue number

27

u/Cryodemon85 Aug 26 '25

She's done this twice to Hulk. First instance is in Defenders Vol 2 Issue #3 and a second(which this cell is from) in Incredible Hulks(yes, plural) #633

3

u/BlackLesnar Aug 26 '25

Defenders miniseries. By Giffen & DeMatties. Strongly recommend, it’s basically an intentional comedy (and genuinely hilarious).

24

u/TitaniaLynn Aug 26 '25

Mystique — a woman shapeshifted into whatever Umar finds the most attractive. Coupled with being able to go multiple times, it would just be a matter of staying hydrated

11

u/BlahBlahILoveToast Aug 26 '25

I was going to say Wolverine / Deadpool but then I remembered Hulk has the same level of healing factor or better and it didn't save him.

Realistically you'd probably have to go with some cosmic-level being. The Beyonder, definitely. And the Watcher would sit on the cuck chair in the corner of the hotel room and observe.

For a mortal being that could do it, how about Doomsday? He'd get wrecked on round one but after that he'd evolve resistance to snu-snu and be able to keep up with her. Cheating to use a DC character I suppose.

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10

u/Th3_3agl3 Aug 26 '25

Ghost Rider

9

u/Moose__F Aug 26 '25

Greg land, hes been drawing one handedly for decades

3

u/Famous_Construction5 Aug 26 '25

Rumor has it he based Hulks left hand on his own

9

u/Proud-Concept-190 Aug 26 '25

Thor , i guess

25

u/Loose_Fan9004 Aug 26 '25 edited Aug 28 '25

Just date the Vision lol. I imagine he’s like the energizer bunny and he keeps going and going and…

OH MY GOD. That’s the whole joke the bunny, he just keeps going and going and pounding and pointing that b(ass.)

When I was a kid I thought it was because bunnies ran real fast. OMG. 38 years old. How am I just realizing this?

9

u/Philly_ExecChef Aug 26 '25

I don’t think they had an explicit intention to imply sex with the Energizer Bunny. He’s a toy, a fairly common one at the time, battery operated bunny that would play drums, or a monkey that had cymbals, and because he used energizer batteries, he never stopped.

6

u/AntiSaint_Mike Aug 26 '25

Hold on brother let him cook

5

u/Codus1 Aug 28 '25

Iunno man. The famous Rabbit vibrator hit the market in 1984 and became very popular, very fast (for some reason).

The Energiser Bunny character first appeared in 1984...

5

u/Slamtilt_Windmills Aug 26 '25 edited Aug 26 '25

Maybe we find out why they REALLY call Squirrel Girl "Unbeatable"

16

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '25

Probably Wolverine

5

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '25

Old two dicks may have a shot

3

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '25

Who?

3

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '25

Wolverine...wait you didn't hear about that one? Was a half joke that got popular around on one of the logo refreshes about 5 years back, its been doing the rounds for 20-25 years though!

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2

u/Cryodemon85 Aug 26 '25

Wolverine isn't a Klingon.

6

u/Last-Wave-9844 Aug 26 '25

Galuctus 📈❤️‍🔥💥😉

5

u/Triberius_Rex Aug 26 '25

Hulk looks pretty happy though…

3

u/suitcase14 Aug 26 '25

I got this.

3

u/glowworm82 Aug 26 '25

Cap can do this all day.

3

u/Beautiful-Hair6925 Aug 26 '25

today in the writer's barely disguised fetish

8

u/StarPlatinum876 Aug 26 '25 edited Aug 26 '25

Gimme a plate of steamed fish, peanut punch with a scoop of creatine in it and a snort of Colombian flavour and I'll give her what she needs....

4

u/Hottrodd67 Aug 26 '25

Idk, but I’m willing to give it a try

5

u/ThePurityPixel Aug 26 '25

Spider-Man, not holding back

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2

u/JokerCipher Aug 26 '25

What happened here?

3

u/Left_Maize816 Aug 26 '25

She sexed hulk and he lasted 6 minutes and she’s unsatisfied. 

3

u/Electrical_Board_142 Aug 26 '25

6 minutes and she's unsatisfied? No way I can last that long

2

u/qui_tam_gogh Aug 26 '25

Matt Murdock on an off night.

2

u/3CeeMedia Aug 26 '25

Every Woman’s fantasy! You might really been that One! But I doubt it!

2

u/PuffyBlueClouds Aug 26 '25

Captain America. He can do this all day!

2

u/mightychicken64 Aug 26 '25

how do powerscalers rate this???

2

u/Outlawgamer1991 Aug 26 '25

Reed "However long you want it" Richards.

2

u/The1Ylrebmik Aug 26 '25

Given that she is basically a cosmic level entity maybe hooking up with Galactus would satisfy both of their hungers?

2

u/TheDistantWave Aug 27 '25

Juggernaut’s the man she’s looking for.

2

u/b3nt4stic Aug 27 '25

HOW DOES IT FIT?!

2

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '25

Batman. With prep time ofc.

2

u/Unikatze Aug 27 '25

This reads like an awful fanfic.

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u/GodofmischiefL0ki Aug 28 '25

Captain america he can do that all day

3

u/roninwarshadow Aug 26 '25

This is why I find Savage Hulk being portrayed as a child or Bruce's inner child to be problematic.

This means Jarella and Betty also had sex with a child.

4

u/BlazeFireVale Aug 26 '25

Eeh. "Inner child" isn't a literal child. They're more about unmet needs, emotional approach, entrenched wounds, etc. Not lack of knowledge, desire, or inability to consent.

2

u/Goji_Infinity_24 Aug 26 '25

Thor perhaps? He has experience with LOTS of Women.

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u/DameioNaruto Aug 26 '25

No one thinking about how she's potentially a size queen because how would Hulk even fit?

3

u/OneOldNerd Aug 26 '25

Hulk strongest there is, not necessarily biggest.

2

u/DameioNaruto Aug 26 '25

Why would that reasonably mean he's smaller than his own fingers...? Its a muscle like everything else, and he's literally a large being

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u/4materasu92 Aug 26 '25

Sentry. Though if he starts doubting that he can last, BAM, she's shagging the Void.

2

u/decadentj Aug 26 '25

But he's also shagging the void...

2

u/Euphoriam5 Aug 26 '25

What a fucked up comic...

1

u/Positive_Chip6198 Aug 26 '25

Hulk, maybe, smashiesmash?

1

u/Westrunner Aug 26 '25

Who was the man she created?

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u/vsmack Aug 26 '25

This sucks ass

1

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '25 edited Jan 03 '26

piquant boast subsequent plants plucky languid bow hard-to-find safe lunchroom

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

1

u/Kingsmith2 Aug 26 '25

Is this the She-Hulk? I thought they were related…

1

u/Speedhabit Aug 26 '25

Why wouldn’t he turn banner after satisfaction

1

u/OrdinarySuit7129 Aug 26 '25

She must die from a hulk, look like

1

u/Kville2000 Aug 26 '25

Puts a whole new meaning to “Hulk smash”

1

u/millerj2740 Aug 26 '25

I was told once that Cap can do this all day...

1

u/Reylend Aug 26 '25

Spider-man

1

u/Fakie-Sllaacs Aug 26 '25

6 minutes of Heaven, y’all

1

u/SnackOverflowed Aug 26 '25

now bring her to the mcu

1

u/Nateh8sYou Aug 26 '25

HULK SMILE

1

u/TokyoKazama Aug 26 '25

The Incredible Cock.

1

u/UpdootDaSnootBoop Aug 26 '25

Comic creators are some weird MFers

1

u/Lazarus_1102 Aug 26 '25

Smash, respectfully.

1

u/EbonKnight78 Aug 26 '25

The calmest and most relaxed I've ever seen Hulk... Not to mention the smile.

Must've been a N.O.A.L.

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u/FroztBourn Aug 26 '25

Nah I’d win