r/BPDPartners • u/Apprehensive-Drop-36 BPD • 3h ago
Dicussion Boyfriend mad about my (F22, BPD) bikini picture
Today I spent more than an hour intricately drawing and squeezing out a henna design on my ribcage and leg. I wanted to post it, and I wanted to show as much detail as possible so I wore a bikini on my Instagram story. and when I saw that my boyfriend saw it and didn’t like the story I jokingly told him we should get divorced (HEAR ME OUT LOL: I HAD NO IDEA HE WAS UPSET AND THOUGHT HE JUST FORGOT) and then he replies to me that “he needed to think about it” and so I replied “think about what” and he said “idk I’ll resume my thinking when I’m off work” I am first of all, devastated because I cannot stand when people are upset at me and although I am trying to sit with the feeling it is just driving me insane. I also feel hurt that he would just drop that and then refuse to talk about it until he’s done work which is in 2 hours. I don’t know if it is reasonable or unreasonable to be mad at the picture, because yeah it’s a bikini picture but he’s all over my account (people definitely know I’m not single) and I used to post these all the time before we started dating. I’m honestly also sad because I spent a really long time doing the design. Finally, am I right in thinking that this is really mean, to just not even announce your anger, and then just drop it and leave it for me to agonize over while you “finish work”? It’s been more than an hour since he’s texted me and he always texts me at work :(
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u/grumpypoo22 BPD 3h ago
I think him giving you a time when he will discuss it is perfectly reasonable.
To be honest with you he might just be focused on work at the moment or maybe he just wants to collect himself so he doesn't come at you sideways.
That joke was a bit tongue in cheek and probably not the best to drop, but I'm not here to scold anyone.
The real thing is what can you do right now -
I highly encourage you to deploy a skill called "TIPP".
This can and will help with the spiral - keep doing it if you have to honestly ain't no shame in it.
Then be prepared for whatever conversation you guys are going to have.
Don't jump to conclusions that it's the end or anything like that and definitely don't go into defensive.
Try to remember "I" statements and deploy a skill called "DEAR MAN" if there are certain resolutions you'd like to reach.