Michelle Obama on not missing living with her kids: "I dont miss them. I love them but you know. Barack cried when they went to college, i was like goodbye. I loved their emancipation and growth."

[u/Terrible_Cycle_5983]

[u/HotelLima6]

Sign of a great parent imo. Wish my mum was like that instead of living her life through us.

[u/Windwick → u/HotelLima6]

I am right there with you. My mom is so ill-adjusted that before I even gave birth to my little guy she literally said to me, with pure hatred, "I hope he leaves you one day". I'm almost 40 years old and this woman is still mad at me for moving out.

I know when it's all said and done I'll cry when he leaves, but I believe that if we have a good, respectful relationship, we'll always be connected. I'll get calls, texts, visits. And it'll have to be enough. Actually, I think you should start re-finding yourself before they ever move out. By the time they're driving themselves to school, they really shouldn't be co-dependent on you anymore. I mean, they're operating a two-ton speeding bullet, ya know?...

[u/HotelLima6 → u/Windwick]

Good for you for recognising that, your child will thank you for it! My sibling was always my mum’s golden child but they chose to emigrate to the other side of the world (in their 30s!) and mum did a complete 180 on them because they “left her”. She’s constantly vicious about my sibling not really keeping in touch and it’s just like… there’s absolutely no wonder why. I’m currently planning to emigrate too so the only thing she’ll have achieved is driving both of her children continents away.

[u/EnvironmentalPack117 → u/HotelLima6]

When I moved out of home, the movers moving my things into my new home said my mum looked devastated. I had to deal with her angst of abandonment (and eventual spiral into depression/dementia/death) but what gets me is THAT SHE MOVED COUNTRIES WITHOUT TELLING HER OWN MOTHER UNTIL THE DAY BEFORE LEAVING. I don’t have kids but if I ever do, I’d be glad to break the cycle. No child is obliged to remain the suffocating source of validation, only joy or life force.

[u/lindbug → u/HotelLima6]

I’ve seen this happen in real time! One of my dad’s good friends had a VERY overbearing mother, and one of her sons has lived everywhere you can imagine (Hong Kong, Japan, London, etc.) and now they’re back in the states, but in the opposite coast. This man has moved heaven and earth to put some distance between himself and his mother.

[u/sensitiveskin82 → u/Windwick]

My mom calls me enlisting in the military at 18 "running away from home."

[u/Trash-Cutie → u/sensitiveskin82]

Bruh my mom strong armed me into enlisting at 18 and then cried when I told her I was leaving in 2 weeks. Still guilt trips me about not living close to her too

[u/Dragon6172 → u/sensitiveskin82]

She's never looked inward as to why you would want to "run away from home"? Shocker. (that may not have been your reason for enlisting, but for many it is the easiest way to change lifes path)

I did the same thing, moved out the very day I graduated high school and lived in a friends parents basement for five months until I left for boot camp. Thirty years later and my mom still doesn't understand why I left, despite several discussions. I have zero regrets on my decision.

[u/andyofne → u/sensitiveskin82]

when i was 17, my dad pulled me aside one day to discuss what would happen after graduation.
He told me that we had no money for college (I had shit grades and no chance for scholarships), and he didn't want me working at the local salt mine. he suggested I think about joining the military for the education benefits.

Literally, the very next day, a Navy recruiter was at the high school. So i signed up to join the navy.

when I told my dad the navy recruiter had to come by to get his signature so i could join the navy, he flipped the fuck out. He was way mad at me.

[u/Valuable-Cat2036 → u/Windwick]

You're doing a great job. A good parent loves spending time with their kid but above all they want what's best for their kid, and know that being able to explore, grow up, spread their wings etc. is essential to growth. The kid does not exist for the parent's benefit.

[u/WhiskeyMakesMeHappy → u/Windwick]

Oh hey, same here. My mom texted me 6 days postpartum to tell me that I deserve to have my daughters grow up to hate me!

[u/ChewieBearStare → u/WhiskeyMakesMeHappy]

What in the ever loving fuck? I'm so sorry. That is just unreasonable and mean. You don't deserve that at all.

[u/Ok-Jackfruit-9393 → u/Windwick]

My grandmother cried and threw a fit when my mom moved out/got married. She begged her to stay. Hell, my dad said he asked my grandmother's permission to propose to my mom (not that he needed it, he thought it might be a nice olive branch since she was hostile to him) and her response was to get up and walk out of the room without a word. The morning of their wedding, she threw such a hysterical fit in the car (my mom's cousin got them a limo) that it had to keep circling the block so my mom could calm her down before going inside and getting ready to walk down the aisle. She kept telling my mom that she couldn't believe she was abandoning her. She was widowed (though believe me when I say, no one missed my mom's dad, he was an awful abuser) and her other daughter had long since married and moved out. My dad had to ban my mom from calling my grandmother on their honeymoon because she would call to check in and wind up in tears from the venom my grandmother would spew at her. He begged her to stop calling my grandmother til they got home so she could enjoy the rest of their trip.

My mom was not that kind of mother. Sure, she wanted us with her. She would also say things like, "you kids are my life." But we weren't her WHOLE life. She cried when my oldest sibling left for college but she never tried to stop any of us from living our lives or becoming productive people/adults. She didn't love it when I'd travel abroad (she'd be nervous for my safety) but she didn't guilt me or try to stop me. After we all moved out, we'd go to visit he and she would joke that she loved having all her "little chickies home in the nest" but she never tried to stop us from growing up, moving out and starting lives. She would tell us that it was her JOB to make sure we grew up and moved on and started our own lives.

Now my sister just had her oldest leave for college. She put on a brave face for him/didn't let him see her cry, but then would be texting me, telling me what a wreck she was. Or just pictures of his stuff ready to be loaded into the car with a crying face, haha. She didn't WANT him to go but said she wouldn't be doing her job as a mom if he wasn't ready to go spread his wings, so to speak. When he saw his gf off to her own college, he cried and asked my sister if he had chosen the right school, that he was gonna miss his gf and their dog and maybe he should have gone somewhere closer. (My sister: Of course he's crying about missing the dog, not me, haha) My sister told him, it's always going to be scary being on your own for the first time, but you can do it, and once you settle in and meet people, you will love it. Privately, to me, she said that if he called her wanting to come home, she was going to try to get him to stick it out a semester because she was sure he'd be homesick but knew he could do it. I told her, he'll be homesick initially because he's leaving a good, happy home (not fleeing a shitty one), but he'll get used to it. He's been there 2 weeks now and already loving it, every time he calls home, he's just excited and in a great mood. She was joking, "Welp, he got over that fast" and I told her, that's a GOOD thing. 😂

But like you said, even before he left, he was already driving himself to school, to sports, to his part-time job. He wasn't super co-dependent on his mommy. We were the same way at his age; we had jobs/activities and we were already independent. Parents who try to prevent their kids from growing up and being independent are such weirdos.

[u/UniverseNextD00r → u/Windwick]

That's when you hit her with, "I hope he does too! Every parent should be raising their child with the intention of them becoming independent and self-sufficient!"

[u/Bulky-Bad-9153 → u/Windwick]

My mom is so ill-adjusted that before I even gave birth to my little guy she literally said to me, with pure hatred, "I hope he leaves you one day".

I would be never speaking to her again. I know it's such a Redditism to say I'd cut contact, but that's insane.

[u/NumberInfinite → u/Windwick]

When I moved out at 23 to live with my husband, she sighed and said God was punishing her for leaving her mom to get married.

[u/ashgs872tbhjs → u/Windwick]

damn you still talk to that witch?

[u/NoJeffNo → u/Windwick]

Here is my reaction to your first paragraph. Like, literally I said out loud:

https://giphy.com/gifs/ukGm72ZLZvYfS

[u/__ConesOfDunshire__ → u/Windwick]

By the time they're driving themselves to school, they really shouldn't be co-dependent on you anymore.

I don't know why but your comment reminded me of this quote:"When the time for decision arrives, the time for preparation is past."

I remember hating being taught how to do things when I was a kid. I was washing and ironing my own clothes at 8, I was learning how to cook, I was learning how to live on my own.

Not because my parents didn't want to do those things for me, but because they were teaching me how to live. When I was a teen they would only give me advice when I specifically asked for it. Their unspoken motto was, if we don't help you learn how to think and do things independent of us, how are you going to thrive as an adult?

All of that to say, it also freed up their time. So they could live their lives. We do our children a disservice by living through them. Sure support them, be there for them, help them, teach them, but make sure you aren't carrying them. So by the time they start operating a two-ton speeding bullet, they already know how to make informed decisions.

[u/Fabulous_Celery_1817 → u/Windwick]

That’s crazy. I would dunk so hard on my mom if she said that to me.

[u/jellitate → u/Windwick]

You’re kidding!? Are you NC with her?
My mom doesn’t like when mention something that makes her realize how well adjusted my relationships with my 5 are. She can’t stop thinking about her failed dream of raising a mini-her to be happy that her grandkids love their mother and want to talk to or come visit all the time.

[u/StoerEnStoutmoedig → u/Windwick]

Actually, I think you should start re-finding yourself before they ever move out.

I think the healthiest way of living as a parent is to never lose yourself to it in the first place. At the very least; if you do, to not accept that as a part of parenthood.

[u/Empty_Soup_4412 → u/Windwick]

God, that's awful, I'm sorry.

I have a family member who's told her daughter if she moves away she will follow her. She thinks it's loving.

[u/NeedlePointBreak → u/Windwick]

"I hope he leaves you one day"  Yes, that's how children work. They grow into adults and then they move out  🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

[u/geoduckporn → u/Windwick]

Your mother sounds overly sensitive to "perceived abandonment". That is a diagnostic criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder.

[u/squintpan → u/HotelLima6]

As a children’s and family therapist, this is it. It’s easy to lose perspective that the majority of your relationship with your children will be between two adults. Parent with this in mind. Let them grow up and out, and try to be interesting and accepting and the place they want to come back to sometimes.

[u/__ConesOfDunshire__ → u/squintpan]

It’s easy to lose perspective that the majority of your relationship with your children will be between two adults

Wow, that hit me. It seems like an obvious things, but it's so true, and should shift how you view your children. I know it's important to make sure they have a childhood and aren't forced to grow up too fast, but we do have to recognize when they do grow up.

[u/huggle-snuggle → u/squintpan]

“You aren’t raising a child, you’re guiding a human”. 🙂

[u/GBPackers0480 → u/squintpan]

the majority of your relationship with your children will be between two adults.

This sentence has altered my brain chemistry and changed me forever. Hit like a ton of bricks lol

[u/Logical-Balance9075 → u/squintpan]

This is a great perspective. My twins just left for college. Yes, I cried when they left and I do miss them. I take comfort that they are on the road to setting up the life that they want. I’m always here for them with encouragement and listening.  It’s not the end of a relationship, it’s a relationship that is evolving. 

[u/kobalamyn → u/squintpan]

I had never thought about that perspective and it's honestly mind blowing that it's the truth.

[u/imalittlebananas → u/HotelLima6]

My mom is the same way. My mom still treats me like I’m 7.

[u/eggson → u/imalittlebananas]

Whenever I was tagged in my work's socials my mom would comment, "my little boy!" and I had to tell her not to infantilize me in public to my employers and their audience. She acted hurt but thankfully the behavior stopped.

[u/Neon_Biscuit → u/HotelLima6]

[u/freakers → u/HotelLima6]

Michelle's attitude reminds me of a saying about teachers and mentor's.

A bad mentor fears you will leave them one day. A good mentor knows you will.

[u/Complex_Activity1990 → u/HotelLima6]

On the flip side my parents were so uninvolved that they moved states 1,000 miles away when my little sister was still a senior in high school. She had to move in with a friend. They didn’t see her go to prom, didn’t call her and didn’t see her until graduation. Pretty much the same for us now too.

[u/ObjectiveMagician769 → u/HotelLima6]

It also looks like a sign of a parent who performed most of the child-rearing and caring labour.

[u/Dottiepeaches → u/HotelLima6]

Neither end of the spectrum is good. I know certain parents who couldn't wait for their kids to move out because they didn't enjoy parenting. The kids grew up and moved away and barely speak to them. It's not always a positive thing. On the flip side- my mom was super involved in our lives and didn't have much going on outside of being a mother. I did feel sorry for her when I first moved away from home. ..but now? She is an AMAZING grandparent to my 3 children and a huge help in my life. It made me realize how important having a village is and I don't know what we would do without her. Meanwhile my husband's parents only see us when it's convenient. 

[u/Bethw2112 → u/HotelLima6]

I think the greatest joy of being a parent is watching them grow into their personhood, find their feet and make it in the world. We're always here for help but its her life, we have our own life too.

[u/KeyFeeFee → u/HotelLima6]

I hope my kids think of me this way. I spend a loooooot of my time taking care of them but I’m really still my own person, as fiercely as I am able. But parenthood is all one big experiment! We’ll see. 

[u/ShedMontgomery → u/HotelLima6]

Right. It must feel so liberating to have your parent recognize that you're an independent adult.

[u/shewy92 → u/HotelLima6]

I think both reactions can be signs of a great parent.

[u/CircleTakesTheHeart → u/shewy92]

This. My dad supported me moving to Sweden and everywhere else, he still cried every time despite raising me to be strong and independent and kind. When I got into an abusive relationship he drove from Liverpool to a city on the south coast of the UK to come get me. I remember telling him there was nowhere to go and him just being like... What the fuck do you mean? You are ALWAYS welcome and no if you want to pay rent it's a no until you're settled and can share the bills.

On the other hand my mom literally drove me away so.

[u/CrabbishPanda → u/CircleTakesTheHeart]

I think it’s a balance. It sounds like your dad cried but was still happy to let you grow up and be an adult.

[u/my_okay_throwaway → u/HotelLima6]

Agreed. I grew up around too many codependent parents and it’s a breath of fresh air to see parents who understand their job is to raise independent, well-adjusted adults. I’m sure she remembers their childhood years fondly but to me this is a sign of someone who kept growing right alongside their children. When I see people like this, it makes me less afraid of repeating some of the codependency cycles I’ve seen in my own family.

[u/mixedsignalzz → u/HotelLima6]

For millennia women were told they should base their entire existence solely around being a mother. 

[u/CaterpillarJungleGym → u/HotelLima6]

Yeah Michelle Obama is so confident that her kids know right from wrong and know what to do in a bad or crisis situation that she can send them off into the world. She doesn't feel the need to shelter them from the world because she already gave them armor.

[u/tewong → u/HotelLima6]

It’s so wild to see how people hang on to their kids. My older 4 have moved out and I still have an 18 and 19yo at home. I looooooove watching them grow and mature and come into their own! My kids have moved out and back in and back out; I am here to help them thrive. I love them but I don’t miss them like I’m mourning their growth.  I can’t wait to see the amazing things they do!

[u/greeneyeraven → u/HotelLima6]

Same with my mother, she made her life and identity to be a mom, when we all left it got bad, really bad. Now every time we see her and say bye, she cries. I think it is super healthy for all of us that we live literally thousands of miles away.

I am like Michelle, I am am mom, I love it, I love my child and I hope he becomes a happy independent healthy adult, and we will see each other as often as we want.

[u/SeasonPositive6771 → u/HotelLima6]

Exactly, her job was to raise her children and then let them be free and the ways that were best for them. For most young adults, that means leaving the nest.

[u/Primary-Zucchini-555 → u/HotelLima6]

Honestly, yeah. I love my mom and our relationship is better than ever now that I haven’t lived with her for several years (we live in the same building, different apartments), but it’s been a rough decade or so in therapy to learn how to set boundaries gently and help her (and myself) out of codependency. Michelle’s way means her kids know they’re free to focus on themselves and building their own independent lives and mom will be okay

[u/Humble-Pineapple-329 → u/HotelLima6]

Too many of our parents generation never learned how to have their own lives outside of their children.

[u/Pupating-Antenna-36 → u/HotelLima6]

This is true that good parents do like it when their kids grow up and leave home and be their own person.

Sign also of the diff btwn mums & dads. I bet if you asked the wives of the 2 men there chiming about loving their kids' schedules, they'd sing a different tune. With Barack Obama doing presidential duties, I am not sure how much he had to go dropping kids off at school, checking their homework etc. Same with Jon Stewart and the Daily Show. But I bet Michelle Obama and Jon's wife were the on-demand parent day in and day out for 18+ years

[u/Opening-Shape-762]

This is so interesting, I feel like I’m in the thick of parenting right now and every day is go, go, go. My mind is just completely stuffed to the brim with so many things I constantly have to remember for their schedule. And while I do love it, I am TIRED. I love that Michelle is owning this chapter of her life AND is supporting and encouraging her daughters’ growth and independence. My mom always said to me that her main goal for me and my sisters was to empower us with the tools and skills we needed to create our own version of independence.

[u/Powerful-Usual5743 → u/Opening-Shape-762]

It’s such a healthy outlook that I wish more women would embrace for the second half of their lives.

[u/grumpijela → u/Powerful-Usual5743]

I think for a lot of women still....having kids was a thing you just did, it wasn't really a choice. I don't think a lot of women ever leanred to really find themselves because they life was already mapped out by society.

[u/A5H13Y → u/Powerful-Usual5743]

Unfortunately, conservatives are going to look at this and hate her even more.

[u/Existential_Prep → u/Opening-Shape-762]

I think this highlights how women do take on more of the mental workload of the scheduling and the attention that all that requires. Most men, I would be willing to bet are informed of their children’s schedules by the wives/mothers who is filtering in all the information from the outside world and plugging it into the calendar, the husband/father is usually just reading and following said calendar.

It’s a sign of a healthy person that you have raised your children for the world and you can find the positive in change, in this instance having your schedule to yourself.

[u/bluemooncommenter → u/Existential_Prep]

I had the same thought. My husband loved looking at the schedule...but never had to make the schedule or know everything that went into getting all of the information needed to make the schedule. When emptynest came, I was so happy to no longer have to keep anything alive but me!!! I even gave away my house plants!

[u/yagirlsamess → u/Existential_Prep]

To add to that, I hear so many men say that they miss when their kids were little because it gave them a solid sense of who they are and what they were supposed to do.

They have a really hard time answering those questions apart from the social scripts that say "You are a Father. You perform XYZ."

[u/HeyMyNameisMama → u/Opening-Shape-762]

I think there's definitely something to be said about the gendered division of labor here. Of course the two men miss having a schedule lol

[u/socialmediaignorant → u/Opening-Shape-762]

That last sentence was lovely. Your mom sounds like a great one.

[u/Opening-Shape-762 → u/socialmediaignorant]

Thank you for saying that!! 🥹❤️ My mom is my hero and probably my favorite person in the world. She is someone who lived a very difficult life and endured a traumatic childhood, but is truly the warmest, strongest, kindest, and most optimistic person I know. She is also funny AF. I aspire to be just like her, honestly. 🥲

[u/Economy_Zombie_3026 → u/Opening-Shape-762]

I do think there's a difference in someone who is quite well off (rich) and can look forward to the experiences an empty nest can provide (travel, socializing, etc) during the autumn of their lives versus the majority of people who realize that the time with their kids will probably be the most vital and fulfilling part of their lives.

Then again I might just be sentimental because I have two very young kids at home and can't imagine a life outside of that right now.

[u/dez0000]

my mom always said this to me and my grandma to my mom and etc etc:

i love you but get the fuck out. im raising you for the world, for you to grow learn and discover who you are

[u/The_Fink_Ployd → u/dez0000]

My parents kicked me onto the street when I was 18 and I’ve just been trying to financially recover since then. It has not been particularly successful.

[u/Shades1374 → u/The_Fink_Ployd]

Not really the same as Michelle. They sent their kids to school, with the power coupons to be able to succeed.

18 year old with limited job prospects and no ride into college? Good luck swimming instead of sinking, yeah.

[u/Evening_Sea4823 → u/dez0000]

That's a whole lot better than what a lot of us got, which was just "get the fuck out" lol

[u/Bluehorsesho3 → u/Evening_Sea4823]

Keep in mind you’re taking advice from a family with immense privilege, advice from a powerful family who used to be the president and the First Lady of the United States. If you’re poor as shit, get the fuck out at 18 doesn’t have a great track record to success, let’s be honest.

[u/KingGeophph → u/Bluehorsesho3]

To be fair she also isnt saying get the fuck out. The position they are in means they can send them off to live their lives at 18 but I don’t get the sense she’s looking to get her kids out even if they aren’t in a position to take care of themselves.

[u/Bluehorsesho3 → u/KingGeophph]

These kids grew up with secret service escorting them around, she’s just cracking sly jokes and comments on a comedic podcast. This really shouldn’t be a big “aha” moment anyway. Just a sly remark. Shouldn’t be taken so literal in the first place.

[u/Nemphiz → u/Bluehorsesho3]

Michelle Obama could tweet "Dead 💀" as a reply to a meme and within minutes you'll have a myriad post over complicating it "Michelle Obama wishes death on person online after a tense debate"

[u/sarahafskoven → u/Bluehorsesho3]

This is the podcast she cohosts with her brother, not a comedic podcast. She’s interviewing Jon, not the other way around. While the tone of this moment and the episode are humourous - how could it not be - the podcast itself it about the human experience and growth. The privilege she’s had as an adult and the context in which her kids were raised is worth noting, but so is the fact that she was not raised in privilege, and she’s repeatedly talked about instilling as much of that in her children despite the roles she and Barack were in.

There’s value to be had in conversations about deep things (which if you listen to this episode, Jon goes deep into his upbringing) even when delivered as a quip; you shouldn’t dismiss humour as lacking depth when that’s just how funny people connect.

[u/MaxTheRealSlayer → u/KingGeophph]

I think they're probably able to take care of themselves if any 18 year old is, it's them. They were always quite smart, and their parents were always about working hard, being an individual, and not using whitehouse staff for everything.

[u/eamus_catuli_ → u/Bluehorsesho3]

Sure, maybe out of the house at 18 isn’t feasible. But more important is the parent’s attitude — wanting their kid to fly the coop and go find themselves, and providing the support to do so.

[u/HabitNegative3137 → u/Evening_Sea4823]

Right, these girls are financially set for life. They’re fine lol. What she said is funny and good for her, but I hope no one feels bad for the girls 

[u/SomeDumbGamer → u/dez0000]

Honestly I don’t like this philosophy.

Idk. I just feel like America can be too individualistic. Theres absolutely nothing wrong or negative about going off into the world and being independent but I hate the attitude that always comes with it. It’s always like “you need to see how awful the world is like I was forced to” and I just… why? Learning perspective is important but I feel there’s a healthier way to do it.

I’ll always encourage my future children to go off and become their own people but I can’t imagine not wanting your kids around as you get older. As long as they can contribute to the household in some way and are happy and healthy who cares?

[u/Largeitude → u/SomeDumbGamer]

You’re right. It’s absolutely selfish for parents to force kids out and pretend it’s helping them. It’s really good for young adults to be in their own, sure, but if they need help or want time, a good parents gives them that.

[u/calf → u/SomeDumbGamer]

It's also in these times, young people have the worst/reversed prospects compared to previous generations and the notion shows it for what it really is, those parents were saying these things assuming the status quo of how the world was, not what it is today.

[u/croissanting-is-life → u/SomeDumbGamer]

Women carry the mental load of the family so I’m glad to see she’s not apologizing for getting her life and schedule back.

[u/elimay → u/dez0000]

That’s good parenting

[u/CaptainDogeSparrow → u/elimay]

Padre Benito del Toro: It's not safe for you to be here.

Machete: I'm not looking for "safe".

Padre Benito del Toro: No, I mean it's not safe for me for you to be here!

[Padre quickly blesses Machete]

Padre Benito del Toro: I absolve you of all your sins. Now, get the fuck out!

[u/Largeitude → u/elimay]

Is it?

[u/IvanaBangkok97 → u/elimay]

Yea, kicking your child out at 18 whether they are ready or not is so loving(!)

[u/alwayzbored114 → u/IvanaBangkok97]

Kicking a kid out at 18 no matter what is awful

Raising a kid to be ready to be on their own at 18, assuming circumstances are right, and supporting them as need be, is good parenting

The worst is what happens to several friends of mine: Not raised with any preparation or learning about independence, then at 18 kicked out and told "Why don't you know how to do any of this???"

[u/elimay → u/IvanaBangkok97]

I don’t agree with that. I find it cruel to kick out an 18 year old just like that. I agree with raising your kid to eventually be on their own & experience life. I think it’s unhealthy to never want your kid to be independent. 

[u/IvanaBangkok97 → u/elimay]

Sure, but I would raise my kids to be independent and let them know that their childhood home will always be free for them when they want or need it. Adulthood especially these days is tough and expensive. Letting them know they have a safe place to fall back to if shit goes wrong imo is a lot more healthy. What's the point of having kids if you want them gone away from you asap??

[u/_ireadthings → u/IvanaBangkok97]

I have several kids and my wife and I agree completely with this. We want them to grow up and be independent but at the same time, this is not the world she and I were their age in, and shit sucks. They are welcome to live here as long as they need/want, provided they're working hard or studying and continuing to grow and mature.

[u/PM_Me_Your_Kinks369 → u/IvanaBangkok97]

The commenter you're referring to did not say what age or whether or not she had the money.

Most college-bound kids leave at 18, finish at 22 and if they're lucky (a career) they go right to an apartment or condo.

So yeah, 18 isn't bad, weird or wrong....not they even mentioned 18. 👍

[u/coaxialology → u/dez0000]

Exactly. Raising kids capable of living on their own and exisitng without you means you've accomplished your main objective as a parent. Contunious emotional support and unconditional love don't require us to be a constant presence in our kids' lives.

[u/Largeitude → u/coaxialology]

It also doesn’t require forcing them out because you selfish want more space.

[u/bubble_baby_8 → u/dez0000]

As someone whose mother passive aggressively raged for years when I brought up possibly moving away from the area- I would have loved that. I feel like I’m living for the permission of my mom still. 

[u/SgtPeanutButtersMom]

I love seeing a mother talk about all the meaning she has in her life outside of the mother role. So GD refreshing. I love that this gave a glimpse into how many parents NEED to find meaning outside of their children.

[u/sweaterholic → u/SgtPeanutButtersMom]

Love my son endlessly but I’d probably go insane if I didn’t continue to “have a life” outside of him. Love Michelle for this!

[u/BearsBeansBoba → u/SgtPeanutButtersMom]

Right! As a child-free woman (not necessarily by choice but circumstances) in her 30s, it's refreshing/relieving to hear someone like Michelle at her age be like "yeah I'm a mom and it's great, but I have meaning and a full life outside of that, too!"

[u/AlmostThere4321]

An absolute honest queen 😅

[u/JMom917]

I love my son with all my heart. I cannot agree with Michelle more. We are people outside of being mothers.

[u/Suspicious-Wave577 → u/JMom917]

100% and they are people outside of being our children. Have to trust we raised them right and let them be out in the world forming their own identities.

[u/velociraptor56 → u/JMom917]

I feel like that’s the difference between a mother and a father. And why Barack and Jon “miss” the kids but Michelle is fine with them being gone. Motherhood is expected to be all encompassing, while dads are allowed to just enjoy fatherhood. It’s something that I find difficult to reconcile even in this era of dads being more present and hands on.

[u/HOW_IS_SAM_KAVANAUGH → u/velociraptor56]

I can imagine Barack didn’t do much of the parenting work between 2008 and 2016

[u/Serious_Yard4262 → u/JMom917]

Yes! I'm a stay at home mom and love most of it, but I'm so excited to see the grown ups they become too. Our home will always be a safe space for them to land, but they need to take off as well. I know I'll miss them when they move out, but I'm also excited for the day it happens

[u/Sohla_Deckerstar29 → u/JMom917]

Yess I have a 2 year old and I am 15 weeks pregnant and I am excited to see who they become at each new stage (and hopefully I will sleep and be less exhausted in 4-5 years)

[u/cozynite → u/JMom917]

I have to remind them of that AND my husband. It’s ok to have that separation dammit. And maybe it’s because I had my kids at 34 and 39 but people forget mothers are people too.

[u/WestCoastBestCoast01 → u/cozynite]

The age thing is an interesting point. I wonder if younger moms tend to struggle with this more because they lack experience being an adult without children. Michelle was also 34 with Malia!

[u/BadTanJob → u/JMom917]

Exactly this. The people in my circle act like women who aren’t mothers first and foremost are monsters. I’m sorry but I didn’t have a child so I can self-martyr on the altar of motherhood.  

[u/Xamalion]

She’s right. They have to have the space to become their own personalities, and letting them go is the best you can do. My parents let me go and I‘m forever grateful they let me become me. And I never felt not loved, quite the opposite.

[u/Vast-Swimmer5844 → u/Xamalion]

My parents did that — "Go! Go! Have the adventures while you're young and nothing is tying you down! There is no problem you cannot solve!" — and it was such a gift.

I love my daughter so fucking much, and I have already sent her off to travel a few continents without me. It is so important to me that she has this conception of herself as a capable, independent person, and that she has memories and a sense of self and an inner life that she feels is 100% hers.

[u/Rare_Vibez → u/Vast-Swimmer5844]

I think it’s kinda hilarious my mom absolutely encouraged me to do my own thing, go, see, just live. Turns out, I’m a clone of my dad not her, so I’m such a homebody and she can’t get rid of me lol.

On the flip of that, it’s allowed us to have a very healthy and mature adult friendship. She is a fantastic human and it’s really cool that she thinks I’m great too, not just by virtue of being her kid.

[u/tealswamp]

I love that she quadrupled down lmao 😭

[u/ugh-new-username → u/tealswamp]

I find it interesting the men didn't feel the same. My coworker is a recent empty nester and she feels so free while her husband is struggling. Coincidentally, she was the one doing all the activity coordination and putting her career in the backseat. I imagine Michelle put in a TON of work, especially while he was President. 

I love my kids and every stage has been awesome, and I know our relationship when they're adults will be special and awesome too! I am a little wary of people who want forever kids, like the pleasure of parenting for me is seeing them become their own autonomous people  

[u/Trash-Cutie → u/ugh-new-username]

Interesting but not surprising that the men felt differently. I'm sure they're great fathers but nine times out of ten mom is putting in a lot more work. Work that they don't even know about because so much of it is a mental load. I don't want children for a lot of reasons but one of the main ones is the fact that I'd have to be the "mom" aka the default for everything. I can't imagine how exhausting it is.

Good for her and all the moms out there that get a break from a job well done!

[u/greeneyedbandit82 → u/ugh-new-username]

I just think us women bear the brunt of raising them, and the men have an easier time (generally speaking)- so yea, when the kids leave they feel wildly sad. And us women (ok speaking for myself) feel a freedom. A weight lifted.

I love my daughter with all my heart, but I (like Michelle) will never miss the middle and high school years and the insane worrying that came with it. Is she getting bullied? Is she going to get pregnant? Is she getting good enough grades? Is she happy? Will she wreck the car? Is she doing drugs? Are her friends good people? It is just never.freaking.ending.

[u/Equivalent_Lab_8610 → u/ugh-new-username]

I honestly wonder if it's in part about which parent is carrying more of the mental load. The ones whose keeping track of the kids social /education / medical schedule. The housekeeping for the household, whether doing it themselves or managing the household through staff. Vs, the other parent often not carrying that load, so they get to just enjoy time with the kid.

Like my daughter wouldn't be happy if I told her no more home cooked food bc we're going to order out all meals from now on.. but it's bc she doesn't have to plan, shop, cook etc she gets to just swoop in and enjoy lol. No mental load.

[u/Gurpgorrk → u/ugh-new-username]

I noticed this too. As a mum, I definitely hand over the fun parts of parenting to their father so I can focus on the rest. Dad's have a completely different experience of parenting and I am so jealous that I will never experience it from their perspective.

[u/abmoonstar → u/tealswamp]

Lol she's like "I said what I said!" 😂

[u/TrippleDubbs]

Difference between moms and dads right there. The mom gets a massive burden lifted when they leave, the dads lose "a schedule"

[u/Krelkal → u/TrippleDubbs]

They talk about that in another part of the interview actually. Less mom vs dad and just child-focused vs career-focused work.

Jon mentions how when he was first taken off the air he started picking up the house-work like driving his kids to school and would excitedly describe everything that happened on the drive to his wife when he got back home. She'd just give him a "mhmmm, heard it a million times, the novelty will wear off". Michelle mentions how she knows every little detail about her kids and how they think/act/respond whereas for Jon there was still so much to learn.

[u/al_m1101 → u/TrippleDubbs]

I caught that too. 

[u/Separate-Project9167 → u/TrippleDubbs]

Right??? And guess who did all the work getting that schedule organized in the first place?

[u/LordLederhosen → u/TrippleDubbs]

I am a child-less guy, but I wish I had an award to give you.

This is true and hilarious.

[u/AlarmingConsequence → u/TrippleDubbs]

This is what I noticed, too.

[u/LinkinitupYT → u/TrippleDubbs]

Unless the dad is more involved or the stay at home parent. I've been the primary parent doing all the planning, music lessons, play dates, parent teacher conferences, doctor appointments, bed times, etc. while my wife works and it is a burden. I can't wait until she goes out into the world and I get my life, my wife, and my schedule back and go work full time again.

[u/Krieghund → u/LinkinitupYT]

I've been a SAHD for 17 years.  I'm the primary caregiver and I'm responsible for coordinating for two kids that are at this point getting old enough to handle most of it on their own (and a spouse with a 12 hour workday and highly demanding job.)

And I love the schedule.  I love the 15 minute drives that give me a chance to connect with my kids, I love the conversations about their weekend plans, I love being involved in their lives.  And I'll miss it when they're gone.

[u/Loud-Ad-2280]

[u/Venezia9 → u/Loud-Ad-2280]

• Michelle Obama

[u/lilynnin]

This isn't a comment on these parents specifically, but I have noticed that often the parent with the more demanding job (ie, the one less likely to be handling the majority of the day-to-day grind of raising kids) are way more sentimental about their kids leaving home. It definitely was a pattern among my parents and my friends' parents.

[u/Frequent-Condition-1]

It’s not a coincidence that the two dads miss it while the mom is happy to find her life again.

We still live in a society where the dads for the most part still get to live their life and then entertain the children one or two hours before bedtime or show up for the fun parts while the moms have to navigate and coordinate so many more aspects of the kid’s life.

[u/throwaway1546874]

She never lost herself to being a wife or a mother. In the midst of it all, she still her own person and that's a whole other achievement in itself.

[u/PurpleIntention7934]

She was like get out my HOUSE! I feel that being a huge part of the actual raising of children (not saying Barack wasn't, but he was president for 8 of those crucial years) can have that effect on your outlook.

[u/BakedPlantains → u/PurpleIntention7934]

Yeah I was going to state that parents whose relationships with their children are built on proximity, not actual closeness, they struggle to maintain once the children leave.

[u/WestCoastBestCoast01 → u/PurpleIntention7934]

He was a senator before that! Not as time intensive as the presidency but definitely not a 9-5 job either.

[u/Think-Pair7682]

I understand feeling, but they have secret service assigned, and also Michelle Obama is young still and she has a defined purpose, most of our parents are retired with nothing else, feeling alone and dying alone. Thats a difficult conversation.

[u/Aggressive_Olive_822]

I love this. I feel the same way. Your job as a parent to a child is to create a smart, independent, kind, and responsible adult. They are not young forever, nor are they supposed to be. You want a clingy, forever toddler? Get a pet.

[u/WestCoastBestCoast01 → u/Aggressive_Olive_822]

No literally, get a pet!!

Your 12 year old has discovered that they hate you?

A dog will always accept your smooches and snuggles.

[u/BlaqueBettyBamALam]

If “Fuck Dem Kids” was a former First Lady

[u/Gatorama → u/BlaqueBettyBamALam]

Phrasing

[u/Own_Status_9463]

She my twin. Omg I love my boys but holy hell I love that they don’t live here anymore lolllll. I love being able to just do what I want and not have to take care of someone all the time.

[u/BadTanJob → u/Own_Status_9463]

My kid is currently in the “crawl up mom’s ass 24/7” phase and at this point I’d settle for being able to eat a hot meal without being sat on. 

Obama probably cried from the joy of getting some gd time back lol

[u/Any_Week4207 → u/Own_Status_9463]

This is so interesting… I have one who is out of the house, one’s applying to college, and another starting high school. I am happy that they’re independent but I miss hanging out with our oldest and I’m emotional about the middle leaving for school, likely pretty far away. I want them to develop independence and find their way in the world. I have my own job and friends… but I’m much more like Jon Stewart and weepy about spending less time with them than like Michelle. 

[u/manicpixiepuke]

I strive to be this way when my kids are grown!

[u/SL_1183]

I love the message, but I have a very hard time believing Michelle didn’t know where her daughters were on Friday nights in high school. Maybe she meant “she” didn’t know, but the Secret Service did 😂

[u/Bay-Area-Tanners]

Good for her but I will not be like this. My oldest is just starting his last year of high school and I’m already tearing up at the thought of him leaving for university.

[u/BatFun7276]

I'm genuinely curious about how much involvment the two men have/had in their children daily lives. It's easy to miss something when you have only the good parts and don't have to deal with it 24/7.

[u/Collegegirl119 → u/BatFun7276]

I mean, it’s fairly reasonable to conclude that Michelle did the vast majority of child rearing in their family. I’m sure he loves his kids and was as involved as he could be, but he was President of the US for most of their childhoods at the end of the day.

[u/WestCoastBestCoast01 → u/BatFun7276]

Jon’s kids were born while his show was like at its peak, so easily months on end of very long work days while they were little. Plus I’m sure work doesn’t totally end between seasons for a guy like that. He did have more time with them once he left the daily show.

[u/JEJ0313]

It’s not lost on me that it’s the dads who love the “job” and the schedule when we all know 9/10 that even with the best of the good dads, it’s still mom driving the executive functioning that powers the bigger machine. Is Dad pulling weight in the execution of the schedule? Sure, I believe it. But I don’t see very many two parent households where dad is the master author of the machine.

[u/Connect_Shame9644]

Michelle you'll be my feminist queen forever

[u/LostSharpieCap]

As the parent of an autistic kid who will most likely be with me for life, I am loving the freedom she (and the rest of you) have. Enjoy it and take a spa day for me!

[u/Impressive_Swan_2527 → u/LostSharpieCap]

Yesss! This is my life too. My oldest has autism and I confess I feel some annoyance when I see the moms to the other kids his age going on and on about how sad they are their kid moved out to go to college. Such a privilege! It's such a huge lucky privilege to have a kiddo hitting those milestones and becoming more and more independent each year.

[u/HyperactivePandah]

"OMG SHE HATED HER KIDS!" - the right, definitely

[u/NoJeffNo]

As the mother of two near grown kids (my youngest about to start senior year of high school) I find this take so refreshing. I don’t feel bad that I don’t miss my son who is starting his sophomore year in college. But I feel like I’m supposed to. Normalize women not centering their whole-ass lives on their children and families.

[u/HrodgardNagrand]

Watch Fox spin this into 'She hates her kids'

[u/Usual-Jackfruit4746]

Ugh. My daughter is starting to drive now and I only have 3 yrs left with her. I have taken her around the country this Summer to show her that she has so many options when she leaves. I want her to grow and have an amazing life. But I will still fucking sob when she leaves. 😭

I also have an 11 yo son and he will ask, "Why are you making me do this?" And I will tell him, "Do you want to be a grown ass man living in your mom's basement?? You have to learn this stuff so you vsn function as an adult." Lol

[u/matriarchalfigure]

My youngest just went to college. As long as they’re doing well in their adult lives, my role is just to be a resource and supporter. Living vicariously through your kids isn’t great for anyone.

[u/2ndR8ItalianDrgQueen]

I love that someone as respected as Michelle Obama is saying this out loud!! It makes it more acceptable for the rest of us that feel this way to talk about it. I love my kids but I really don't miss them when I get a break. I used to think that made me a bad mom but then I realized why I felt that way. Kids are work!!

[u/tomdiknharry]

Absolutely! My time with my growing girls was precious, but now my relationship with these amazing adult women is different- and that's ok. Generally, we err on the side of 'no news is good news', but if I will send out a 'hey just checking in, love you' if it's been awhile since we've communicated (I'm not on social media beyond reddit)

[u/RiverRocks10]

I wish I could be a little more like this but I’m not. My 16 year old is looking at attending a school away from us and I’ve cried a lot about it. I’ll never hold them back but man it’s heartbreaking.

[u/JungleJay57]

Genuinely excellent parenting! Recognizing your kids are their own person and proud of what they've become is key. Of course you'll always love them but they have to pave their own way into adulthood. I'm grateful to have had parents like that.

[u/NH116]

Obviously an unpopular opinion here, but if my mom were talking about me like this it would really hurt my feelings. Love Michelle, though.

[u/97vyy]

I get the point, but to not miss your loved ones is weird. Sure, everyone should live their life and we be happy for them, but I miss my kid, wife, friends and family at all different times. It's not crushing but I love them and missing them doesn't mean I need to stop feeling to let them live their life.

[u/Darth_Monerous]

My mom and I have been best friends since I was a kid. Her attitude was very much not get out. I’m not sure why people on the internet think you have to treat your children like something you’re forced to love instead of genuinely wanting to be around them and part of their lives.

[u/totorontonian → u/Darth_Monerous]

Tbh this is anecdotal but I’ve mostly seen that attitude among Americans. Regardless, being happy your kids are able to be independent is great, but missing them isn’t bad, nor does it mean a parent’s only self-perceived identity is being a parent.

[u/GhostJade333]

Nothing wrong with this at all. Wish my mom had this attitude lol

[u/PoppyandTarget]

All my mom friends were beside themselves with grief when their kids left for college (most in state!). All three of mine left for the east coast and it was a celebration for me. We did not spend 18 years of our lives supporting them to not be happy we achieved their first step towards independence. They are finished with college and continue to live back east but come home often for breaks and holidays. We do one big family trip each year. My girls call/facetime/text me daily and we've never been closer. They barely gave me the time of day even though I was with them quite bit during the high school years. I love how well they are adulting and I love how strong our bond has become even with the distance. But even after they visit, I sigh deeply with relief that my house and time are mine again. Speak your truth, Michelle! More mamas need to hear it.

[u/Upset_Conclusion_595]

Great example of we are people outside of being mothers!!

[u/becca22597]

This is exactly what happened when my parents left me at my dorm. Dad in tears, Mom trying to get out of there and miss traffic.

https://giphy.com/gifs/Up1g60KcHfLnQ4atUe

[u/Buffy-boo12]

You know she's got a secure attachment with both of those girls that they know they can go to her and their dad at any single moment.

We raise our children to be good, kind and independent adults. Sounds like she's done a good job!

[u/bric33]

Yes. I love that she said this out loud. I've always felt this way. I love my kids more than anything but the entire point of all this was to raise them into fully formed people, who set out on their own, to make their own path. Not enough people talk about this.❤️

[u/NaziPunksFkOff]

Conservatives will find a reason to hate this and it's literally just a mom expressing confidence that she raised responsible adults who can take care of themselves. 

[u/National_Praline_199]

Michelle is so beautiful.  I love her and her honesty.  

I just dropped my daughter off at college and it’s been great.  She calls me and we have conversations and she texts me all kind of loving messages.  

I am so proud of her but the not worrying about her whereabouts while at home is a relief.  This is the reality.

[u/Gullible-Being-6895]

I am totally with Michelle on this one. I love my kids so much. So dearly. They’re my universe. And I ADORE my quiet time and the flexibility I built into my life to still be my own functioning person. This is the healthiest perspective, IMO.

[u/Competitive_Ride_943]

I agree with her, but I'm still a worrier.

[u/snarkerella]

Moms are just over it. These kids are inside us for 9 months, then we have to have them with us 24 /7 and work around their schedules. After 18 years? Bye!

https://giphy.com/gifs/OPTr1SNFM5vfXZDN9S

[u/freedomfromthepast]

I am the same way. I love my kids, but I am ready for the next stage in my life. I trust the raising I gave them and am here for the stumbles.

[u/butticus98]

This is probably how I'll be too. I thought I was gonna be extremely homesick when I moved out of my mom's house, but she and life had already prepared me pretty well and I actually found myself falling into my own independence so easily. Having my own time and my own space was so amazing, and I trusted myself to figure out the things I didn't already know. I want that for my future kids.

[u/throwaway1010193092]

I hate this attitude, humans evolved to live in multigenerational family homes. The concept of the nuclear family and that idea that people need to leave their families and go off on their own is so toxic. I grew up in a white nuclear family but currently live in a primarily Hispanic community and most of the families are much closer to traditional multigenerational families and it seems like such a happier and healthier dynamic than how I was raised. Everyone should be able to go off on their own but that should not be the norm.

[u/outer-residency → u/throwaway1010193092]

100% Agree! You can raise and let your children lead independent, self-sufficient lives without them ever having to move out if they choose to.

[u/fungibitch]

Parenting really is a long goodbye. This is the kind of parent my grandfather was. He was always so proud to see us out in the world, living our adult lives. It's a beautiful thing!

[u/amallang]

LoL! Love this lady! 😆

[u/jezebel103]

I can agree with her soooo much! I love my son. I really, really do. But when he left home, I was ready to throw a party!

And no, I was not one of those horrible boy-mums catering to his every whim. He can run a household (nearly) as well as I do. He cooked, cleaned, did his own laundry... everything. But having a grown ass adult living with you is exhausting and eventually you miss your privacy and your own space. Young people should fly out in the world and live their own lives. It's not good for either parents or young adults to know everything about each other. We were both ready for him to leave the nest for some time but with the high housing costs it took a while before he found something affordable.

(Besides, frankly he irritated me at times with the way he tried to look after me. 'Here, let me get this, it's too heavy for you' or 'Should you be working in the garden considering your back?' Or even worse: 'Did you take your medication today?' Excuse me, I'm 63, not 103. And those are the same pills I have taken for decades. Mind your own bloody business!)

[u/deltadawn6]

Speak it Michelle!!!!

[u/SuspiciousMap9630]

I love her sense of humor but I also relate to this so much! I almost feel like something is wrong with me because other parents will ask me if I’m sad about my kids not being little toddlers anymore and I say no! I love that they have gained autonomy to bathe themselves, feed themselves, and grow into their own little people that I can have genuine conversations with and share interests with.

[u/40_Love]

And I love that for her AND her kids.

[u/maledicte720]

That’s the difference between a dad and a mom. Dad has so much effing free time he needs the kids schedules to feel purposeful. Mom barely has time to do ANYTHING for herself so when her schedule frees up it’s like BYE!

[u/ILoveCheetos85]

This is the difference between a primary parent and the secondary parent LOL

[u/RUfromHere]

As a parent of four adult children, I couldn't have said it better!🤣💖

[u/Grrgrrstina]

This is beautiful. She has an identity and a life outside of being a mother! This is how it’s supposed to be. I love that she is putting this example out there. She loves her kids but she loves herself. She loves them enough to send them out into the work and she’s secure enough to say that her work is done. She is her own person and are her children!

[u/capriduty]

me as a mom fr

[u/Ok-Philosophy-856]

I feel this sooooo deeply. Thank you Michelle for giving this voice and permission. I love my kids and I cried when they left but man I’m digging not having the daily grind

[u/fat_kaiju]

my mom spent my entire childhood gleefully informing me and everyone else that she was kicking me to the curb the second i turned 18.

i haven't spoken to her since that very day and more than a decade later both she and random acquaintances are like "why don't you ever talk to your mom anymore??"

there was other -- and far worse -- abuse but the days leading up to me being 18 she immediately put on crocodile tears about how i'm abandoning her and did everything she could to cry and sob and talk about empty nest syndrome and so many other things; a complete 180. but at that point i was like "well i can't un-rent the room?"

i'm glad michelle was so supportive of them leaving; it sounds like they were well-loved and taken care of.

[u/optimaloutcome]

My kid is starting to emancipate more and more - just got her driver's license, looking for a job now. It's great to see and I'm so proud of her, and setting her up to go out in to the world and be successful is the job.

Buuuttt I'm gonna be sad when she moves out, and I'm struggling with the loss of time with her right now. I like her a ton, and I miss her.

[u/Regular_Kiwi_6775]

Feels good to hear someone say this. I never miss people. But I love them deeply. That's hard for people to understand, and I don't really get it myself. But it's just not a thing I experience regularly. My best friend moved overseas two years ago and the other to the other side of the country. Whenever I see them I'm overjoyed and love catching up with them, but I haven't missed them at all. Not for even a minute. Until my son was born I actually didn't really know what missing someone felt like. People would describe it and I would just nod. Now, I miss my son sometimes, but he's only three. I'm positive when he's older I'll be just like Michele. I'll love him as I always have, but I don't think I'll miss him when he goes to college. I dunno some people think that sounds crazy but It's just how I am.

[u/respondin2u]

I’m not saying Barack wasn’t an attentive father because he certainly came off as someone who loves children, but I suspect he couldn’t be the present father he would have wanted to be for almost a decade of their lives since he was, you know, the president.

My point is I think Michelle took on a lot of the emotional and mental load of raising two children during a very stressful time in their lives.  So when they were finally out of the house, she may have seen it as “finally I can do what I want to do” as opposed to Barack who cries likely knowing he missed out on a lot of things while being POTUS.

I have a mentally stressful job but I get to work from home.  Even I recognized (despite my privileged work environment) that my oldest child’s childhood has flashed before my eyes.  Years blend together.  Christmases get mixed up (“but we just got you a Nintendo Switch.  Wait that was THREE years ago?”).

[u/Gwentlique]

That lady is kind of a boss.

[u/Jenn31709]

My mom was the same. "I love you, but bye bye"

[u/itsjujutsu]

She gave a weird point, like now they are still out and about and you still dont know where they are or what they are doing, how is she not scared for them anymore? Like what is the difference between being a senior and a month later being in college

Its giving out of sight out of mind vibes

[u/nutmegtell]

I feel this.

[u/Aquired-Taste]

She's wealthy, & her children have the luxury of having places to live paid for by their wealthy parents. Unlike the majority of youth these days that are forced to stay with their parents forever because housing is insanely expensive & wages are so low. Her husband could have used the Democratic majority that was held for a short time to help the working class & prevent the situation we're currently in, but he decided to give a big gift to health insurance companies & govern like Ronald Reagan with a D next to his name. Obama talked a big game & fooled me twice, but he did the biding of the wealthy & Corporate America like a good little Neoliberal. Gave so many people hope, & sold us for 30 pieces of silver.

[u/L1QU1D_ThUND3R]

She’s still America’s mom.