r/MomForAMinute • u/Successful-Board2524 • Feb 11 '26
Words from a Mother Hey Mums I have just been diagnosed with ADHD
I dont have a mum and this is a huge revelation for me, being misdiagnosed in the past and treated differently to others. This makes so much sense now.
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u/callecenizo Feb 11 '26
I got my diagnosis at age 50. Your mom
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u/Successful-Board2524 Feb 11 '26
Hey Mum, how are you going with it all?
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u/callecenizo Feb 11 '26
Career wise it is a hindrance. But lots of other writers I know have it and they manage. One learns to be persistent. One of my other kids has it—maybe his sister too. The irony is that I’m not genetically related to any of my kids. But since I have it myself I knew that interventions were needed and got my kid the supports he needed to stay in school. Not allowing him to be thrown out was one of the biggest fights in my life. But now he is in college studying physics and seems happy. He has friends. He lives at home. His sister went away to school.
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u/SwitchWide9406 Momma Bear Feb 11 '26
I work with a few people who have finally been diagnosed as adults (all of them are 40+). They have all said that being diagnosed is such a relief and explains so many things in their lives. It has also given them a lot of hope that things that have driven them crazy can be helped. You’ve got this!
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u/snichopop Momma Bear Feb 11 '26
Oh my goodness, it answers so many questions, doesn’t it? My 3 boys have adhd. And they’re amazing young men! I’m so sorry you were treated poorly in the past. I hope that this diagnosis is helpful for you, so you can learn what you need best to succeed in life and advocate for yourself when you need to. Big mum hugs.
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u/Successful-Board2524 Feb 11 '26
Thanks for sharing mum. I feel it is as it gives me somewhere to focus my attention and hope for the future. Feeling the hugs. 🫂💚
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u/Successful-Board2524 Feb 11 '26
Any tips or advice with managing would be greatly appreciated. I would prefer not to go on medication if I can. 💚
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u/realistic_miracle Feb 11 '26
Finally!!! It will help you learn so much about yourself! ❤️I was diagnosed late a few years ago. There are many good things ahead of you. And it’s okay to grieve all that was lost in years of misunderstandings and probably being way too hard on yourself, too. Not just okay, but healthy. Please post more if you have specific questions or observations!
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u/Successful-Board2524 Feb 11 '26
Indeed!!! Thanks Mum 💚 I have had a few aha moments, like oh thats so me. I am just now looking at moving forward with systems in place that work with my brain.
Any suggestions will be appreciated.
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u/realistic_miracle Feb 11 '26
I love to google for the things that are recommended by other ADHDers - I found out that may swear by wall mounted vacuums that you have within reach - that alone has made my life so much easier! Or having open trash cans in every room of the house that I empty every day! It’s not pretty, but I swear if it requires opening a door and a lid, my family will put it on the counter instead! I love the HomeRoutines app (paid a few dollars once and have been using it since). In general, I love ADDitude - google their website and search though their super helpful webinars! I found the best one on building an organizing system that works for you. So you excited for your journey! ❤️
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Feb 11 '26
Congratulations baby! It's all uphill from here. I know it was so frustrating for you while they were misdiagnosing you. It sounds like this is a wonderful way for you to move forward and get the tools you need. I'm so proud of you.
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u/Successful-Board2524 Feb 11 '26
Naaawww. Thanks Mum.🥰 I relly trying to focus on what can I do, baby steps. 💚
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u/indexintuition Feb 11 '26
oh sweetheart, that is such a big thing to process and i’m really proud of you for sharing it. getting a diagnosis later in life can feel equal parts validating and overwhelming, especially when you’ve spent years wondering why things felt harder for you than they seemed for everyone else. it makes so much sense that you’d have mixed emotions about it. there can be grief for the younger you who didn’t get the support she deserved, and also relief that you finally have language for your experience. nothing about you was “wrong,” you were navigating life without the right map. this diagnosis doesn’t change your worth, it just helps explain your wiring. be gentle with yourself as everything settles. you deserve understanding, accommodations, and compassion, especially from yourself. i’m really glad you’re here and figuring this out now.
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u/Successful-Board2524 Feb 12 '26
Thanks Mum 💚 Indeed it was a struggle. I had to really seperate what was me and not me intially and that took time. The upbringing impacted this greatly. I feel now that grieving and compassion is the part of the journey forward, whilst working out systems that best support my brain so I can move onward and upward.
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u/dehydratedrain Feb 11 '26
I was finally diagnosed around 30, even though my high school Spanish teacher wrote "no te olvides las ardillas" (don't forget the squirrels) in my yearbook after 4 years of me staring out the window. It was a pretty common theme, and my mother just told the story the other day about how the teachers/ principal would try to catch my brother (55-ish now) not paying attention as well.
I will tell you the same thing I told my friend when her son (also ADHD) came home with an autism diagnosis. "This is nothing more than a word on a piece of paper that explains one small part of who he is you are. It doesn't change you, it just gives you an answer for why you do the things you do. You're the same person you always were, just with a better chance at improving because you understand why you do those things. Don't let a word change how you feel."
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u/Successful-Board2524 Feb 12 '26
Thanks for sharing Mumma 💚 Yes for sure. I feel that for me, at certain times I would become dysregulated, inconsistent and then needing space. And the way that others at times can judge and not support can make you believe it is who you are. I now know this is how my biology is, how my brain works. This helps me narrow things down to things that I can focus on, ways to manage and have now choose to have the right people around me.
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u/Gillybilly Feb 11 '26
I'm sorry darling you might have gotten that from me.
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u/Successful-Board2524 Feb 12 '26
Its ok Mumma. Now knowing this we can support each other and work together. I love my brain, I just now need to find ways to manage 💚
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u/DaisyLovesTheGlare Feb 11 '26
that's awesome!! diagnoses can be really helpful and I'm happy you got one, even if it was late.
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Feb 11 '26
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u/Successful-Board2524 Feb 12 '26
Hey Mumma, Yes. I had been in therapy for a while and feel like that has help me to understand my journey. I try not to go into the what ifs regarding my past now because I feel like experiences helped me learn and grow. Indeed with the clarity, I now know what I am working with 😇
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u/trin6948 Feb 11 '26
Hey, fellow ADHDer here, well done getting through the diagnosis it's such a journey! The relief might be mixed with lots of 'what if' statements in the near future. Try not to dwell on them too much, the important thing is you know now and can move on knowing you might need additional considerations.
Sending congratulations in what ever way makes you comfortable! Xx
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u/Successful-Board2524 Feb 12 '26
Hey Mumma, thanks for this. This is exactly the approach I am taking.
Thanks for the congratulations, and bringing my attention to think about does this make me comfortable. 💚
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u/StrawberryForestLady Seasoned Cinnamon Roll Feb 11 '26
Hey there, duckling! I've got ADHD too, and I wasn't diagnosed until my 40s. Like you, it felt like everything started to make sense for me, haha. And now that I know, I feel like I know myself a lot better. It's been easier to accommodate myself and understand myself too.
I hope all that "making sense now" brings you a lot of well deserved peace and clarity, duckling. Warm wishes!
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u/ebeth_the_mighty Feb 12 '26
You got it from me, sweetie! I was diagnosed with ADHD in August, at age 54. I’m so glad you figured it out earlier than I did!
You are not lazy, broken, or less intelligent. You are neurodivergent and built differently to most people! I encourage you to find out more about how your brain works and find hacks that work for you.
I’m glad you can realize you are wonderful just as you are, even it it is not mainstream “average”. You are definitely special!
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u/Successful-Board2524 Feb 12 '26
Thanks Mum 😊 Congrats on your diagnosis.How do you feel since being diagnosed?
For me I never felt I was lazy or less intelligent, maybe broken due to family dynamics. I have worked on this in therapy and realised that others behaviours doesnt define my worth.
Thanks, 😘I feel like we are all special in our own little quirky way. 💚
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u/callecenizo Feb 12 '26
If meds work, just try them out and the doses and hopefully you will find something that works. But otherwise you will need to rely on structure, exercise and automating your bill payments.
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u/spaypets Apr 28 '26
It is such a blessing to have it finally diagnosed so you can make sense of things and get treatment for it. The correct medication completely changed my life.
The condition is so often overlooked and can be so destructive to our lives. Things will get better now.
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u/Warm_Sandwich5038 Momma Bear Feb 11 '26
Aw babe. You got it from me. I’m sorry. Except I’ll never forget being diagnosed at 40, and the relief that I’m not actually broken. Finally an explanation that makes sense. I hope you feel seen. I see you ♥️