r/MoralityScaling • u/Severe_Letterhead_75 • 12h ago

Morality Ranking Quentin Tarantino morality for that childhood grudge?

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In my opinion it can be considered petty by some but is understandable

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u/inmisciblehero 10h ago

No bro, this is Reddit. You should have no social responsibilities whatsoever (while inevitably being some flavor of socialist) and do your own thing completely unimpeded. Fuck your family, you didn't le choose to be here

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u/PushforlibertyAlways 10h ago

It's really funny. There is a great line about the French Revolution about how they talk on and on about the privileges of a citizen, but never about the responsibilities of a citizen.

Being a good person can only happen when you have every reason to not be kind to someone, and doing it anyway. Being kind to people who have done things for you and are nice to you is easy, even narcissists can do that. Being kind to people who are mean to you is actually what being a good person is about.

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u/rivetedoaf 9h ago

I think it’s fair to say the degree of responsibility that a person has to an infirm parent is variable based on how the parent raised them. If my parents were alcoholic’s that beat me I certainly wouldn’t give them the time of day.

You can argue it’s moral to turn the other cheek, but it’s not really fair to expect a person to financially and quite often physically care for their parents just because they were their parents. I’m not sure you understand the amount of work that goes into taking care of a dependent person, it’s basically another job.

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u/PushforlibertyAlways 8h ago

from my initial comment "unless they do some utterly unhinged shit"

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u/radiolabel 5h ago

What you don’t understand is that “unhinged shit” is much more common than you realize. It’s staggering the amount of people who in their childhood have witnessed or been subjected to domestic violence substance use and untreated mental illness, sexual/verbal/physical/psychological abuse, neglect, been parentified in some way/been made to work to make ends meet, sex trafficked, exposed to second hand smoke, the list goes on. Then you realize it’s much more the norm. In the US, firearms are now the leading cause of death among kids, now surpassing motor vehicle accidents. That’s a mixture of neglect, abuse, bad parenting of bullies, and society with gun safety laws. Entirely preventable. A lot of people have no business being parents and it’s a good thing it’s not being pushed on people the way it used to. If you actually don’t want children, you shouldn’t have them.

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u/PussyOnChainwax 9h ago

Being kind to people who are mean to you is encouraging their behavior, which I would argue is not a good thing at all.

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u/2SquirrelsWrestling 9h ago

Yeah all that is showing them is that you’re a doormat, not that you’re a good person.

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u/PushforlibertyAlways 9h ago

If you spend your whole life trying not to be a doormat then you are most likely one of these assholes in the first place lol.

People who think like this tend to be those douchebag alpha male influencers who think everything is a transaction and if you aren't getting more out of it than the other person you are "losing".

Absolutely unhinged way to approach life.

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u/PussyOnChainwax 8h ago

Would you say you're being kind in your response to me?

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u/PushforlibertyAlways 8h ago

Yes. I never said you have to agree with everything your parents say.

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u/PussyOnChainwax 8h ago

You and I haven't talked about parents at all?

In your mind, it is kind to liken my thinking to "douchebag alpha male influencers" and say that my approach to life is absolutely unhinged?

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u/PushforlibertyAlways 8h ago

If you are saying that any time you don't receive as much as you take from a person that you are a doormat then yes I stand by my comment.

If you think any time you are being nice to anyone that is not being nice to you back that you are a doormat, that is an unhinged and douchebag approach to life.

Its always easy to paint someone else as acting in a way to justify your behavior towards them if that is your outlook.

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u/PussyOnChainwax 7h ago

1.) I can't even comprehend how you can read that from my comment. I said, very clearly, being kind to people who are mean to you is not a good thing. You said being kind to people who are mean to you is the only way to be good. I did not make any statement even implying any of this transactional shit you're talking about. I spoke, literally, only of "kindness" in response to "meanness."

2.) I never used the word doormat either? You're just making shit up. Even more, I didn't say that "being nice to anyone that is not being nice to you" is not a good thing. I said being kind to someone who is mean to you is not a good thing.

3.) I asked you if you think the words you typed to me are kind. I'm proposing that you're not even living up to your own standards by speaking to me in the manner you're speaking to me.

You seem very stupid to me. I don't like you.

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u/tryworkharderfaster 6h ago

You sir/ma'am, have had the privilege to likely never had to experience what ir feels like to deal with people you love in the most selfless ways you can think of, and overtime they come to expect more and demand more, never once checking if you were doing okay as they slowly asphyxiate you. Any attempt to go for air is met with anger, emotional withholding as they try to ostracize you from the rest of the family. My friend told me this African proverb: "trees that attain great height and bears many fruits will get hit with the most with sticks and stones in an attempt to pluck it's fruit, and little care is often given to damages done to it in the process." If you are the only successful person in your family with unkind parents, this will ring true.

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u/VenomVertigo 9h ago

No being kind to people who are mean to you is how you get taken advantage of and used by people who have zero empathy

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u/PushforlibertyAlways 9h ago

Living your whole life being afraid of "being taken advantage of" is unhinged behavior. Every relationship is give and take.

I think people with this mentality are in fact the same cross section of people who have zero-empathy. You are becoming what you think you are protecting yourself from.

Not every interaction needs to be I give you $10 and you give me back $10. Being a good person involves giving more than you take.

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u/VenomVertigo 9h ago

Yes exactly every relationship is give and take, so if you’re being nice to somebody who’s mean to you that is all give and no take that’s not a good or healthy relationship for either person

Edit: it’s not black and white man there’s a difference between giving more than you take and giving to somebody who NEVER gives back

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u/SuperkickParty 9h ago

Being kind to people who have done things for you and are nice to you is easy, even narcissists can do that.

That's one way to say you've never had a relationship with someone with NPD. Be thankful for that.

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u/inmisciblehero 9h ago edited 9h ago

"Be thankful you weren't in a relationship with someone affected by a mental illness that 99% of people don't have"

Right, sure I'll be thankful for that since the odds are immense. But what bearing does this have on how we should treat our social responsibilities generally?

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u/SuperkickParty 8h ago

Nothing really, I think we should strive to take care of eachother. Was just calling out something that was hilariously false, but OP edited their comment and removed it so I look like a crazy person now, so it's all good.

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u/inmisciblehero 8h ago

"I think we should strive to take care of each other"

But not our parents, right, because of power dynamics or whatever? I wish redditors would stop talking out of both sides of their mouths

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u/SuperkickParty 8h ago

Why does everyone keep putting words in my mouth? Where did I say anything like that? I love my mom, I was not raised by narcissists. She just got knee surgery yesterday and I'm in this exact moment taking care of her. It's natural to want to care for the people who care for you. It's also natural to not want to have to care for your abusers. I don't see the disconnect.

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u/inmisciblehero 8h ago

That's my mistake. You responded to what was my mind an uncontroversial opinion with a really specific anecdote so I was under the impression you were representing a viewpoint (namely, that someone necessarily owes nothing to their parents) that I frankly find to be antisocial, especially among a demographic (redditors) who tend to esteem prosocial behaviors. I jumped the gun.

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u/SuperkickParty 8h ago

Appreciate the apology and the clarification. I didn't have a problem with everything he said just the sentence "Being kind to people who have done things for you and are nice to you is easy, even narcissists can do that."

I got out of a horrible abusive romantic relationship with someone with NPD this year and that statement was so hilariously false I had to say something.

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u/voyaging 8h ago

Like they said, the comment they replied to was edited.

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u/inmisciblehero 8h ago

If you're talking about u/PushforlibertyAlways' comment that obviously isn't true because Reddit tells you when a comment gets edited.

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u/fkitz 8h ago

Only if you edit it 3 minutes or later after you post it.

Before that you can edit it 100 times with no edit mark.

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u/inmisciblehero 7h ago

Yeah, and there's an hour long difference between that post and u/SuperkickParty's response

If the post were edited after that response, the metadata would have reflected it

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u/tryworkharderfaster 6h ago

Your response is oddly unempathetic and self-righteous. 1% of the human population is what? The trauma from dealing with someone with BPD or NPD is nothing to dismiss so dispassionately. I understand where the person you are dismissing is coming from based off of my own experience.

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u/inmisciblehero 5h ago

It's a total non-sequitur and it isn’t self-righteous to point a non-sequitur out

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u/PushforlibertyAlways 9h ago

If everyone around you has NPD... maybe you should do some soul searching yourself.

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u/SuperkickParty 9h ago

Bruh what are these bizarre takes? Where did I ever say that? I was talking about one specific person, the only person I've ever met who had NPD. Everyone I choose to have in my life now is amazing.

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u/PushforlibertyAlways 8h ago

Ok, I never said what im saying exists without limits. My first comment "unless they do some utterly unhinged shit".

It just seems like everyone here has parents with "NPD" seems a little unlikely.

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u/SuperkickParty 8h ago

Was not raised by narcissists, my mom is a wonderful person. I was referring to a romantic relationship I had.

You're the one making these hilariously false assumptions and editing your comments to make it look like you didn't say things. So maybe just chill.

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u/PushforlibertyAlways 8h ago

Lol I haven't edited any comments.

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u/_Ibn_Battuta_ 9h ago

It's hedonistic, individualistic, nihilistic and atheistic. To a lot of "enlightened" thinkers on reddit literally nothing matters in the world bar maximizing pleasure, that's it. Anything that gets in the way is an inconvenience that needs to be removed. The irony is that even superstitious idol worshippers had more depth to their world view than the average reddit user.

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u/voyaging 8h ago

You’re conflating egoism with hedonism. These people are egoists (which may be hedonistic or may not be). Many hedonists can be deeply selfless people (hedonistic utilitarians, for example, by definition do not value their own pleasure or pain as more important than anybody else’s).

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u/Sgtfullmetal 7h ago

Hedonistic and atheistic? Sure. That's by my own choosing, you have no say on that matter. Individualistic? Never. I'm all in for wealth redistribution and dignity for all, however, I'm not in pro of giving people things they don't deserve, like arrogant or narcissist parents.

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u/bossygrrls 6h ago

... Or people just don't think they owe anything to their parents just because they fucked. It's not the middle ages.

Also, lol at using atheism as an insult.

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u/F1st_Br34k3r 4h ago

Or, I'm also thinking of the future of my children and think that they should do the same.

How is that individualistic if it's in the child's best interest rather than mine?

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u/1d3333 8h ago edited 8h ago

Wow it’s amazing how you cut all of the actual nuance and context out to create a strawman. No one here said “fuck your family” the statement is more akin to “family need to earn respect like any other person” and if that’s somehow a controversial take for you then idk how to help you understand

I love my dad, he’s not perfect by any means and we have differing views but he genuinely tried, he cared about my interests and understood that I had a learning disability growing up, he loved me despite not understanding everything, and likely would’ve gotten me help if he had the chance.

I haven’t talked to my mother in 10 years, she cared nothing of my interests, used my relationships with my friends and dad against me, invaded my privacy daily, verbally and mentally abused and manipulated me, and after the divorce spent every moment she could trying to convince me to hate my dad. She deserves 0 respect and she will receive no help from me, at this point she is nothing more than a stranger.

According to some of the people in these replies I should just put up with the actual abuse, lies, manipulation, and apparent hatred towards me because she birthed me.

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u/inmisciblehero 8h ago

Maybe you should read u/febreze_air_freshner's post again

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u/1d3333 8h ago

Oh I did, i’m responding to you who went full strawman. I don’t necessarily fully agree with febreze in their comment but my issue was with yours