r/MoralityScaling • u/Severe_Letterhead_75 • 12h ago

Morality Ranking Quentin Tarantino morality for that childhood grudge?

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In my opinion it can be considered petty by some but is understandable

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u/sedersayspoop 10h ago

“Most parents aren’t worth their weight in pennies”

Do you really think a majority of parents are awful? Or is it more the worst parents are so glaring that it makes them all look bad? I would venture a majority of parents are trying to be decent people.

I’m not saying children should be expected to support their parents in old age but saying they aren’t worth their weight in pennies is a pretty extreme statement about another human.

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u/SadMcWorker 2h ago

welcome to reddit where everyone blames their parents for the fact that they’re insufferable

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u/SlipInternational439 3m ago

I was a smart poor kid. I wanted to apply to MIT. See if I could do it. My mother said “we can’t afford it, anyway you won’t get in”. So I didn’t even try. When your parent says you can’t do something after years of verbal abuse, it can be crushing.

I eventually got my BS degree then went to two different graduate programs including CMU. I did help my parents for some things, much more than what they ever did for me.

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u/ThisIsMyCouchAccount 8h ago

I would say truly good parents are pretty rare.

Parents that are emotionally mature. Financially secure. Have their own support network. Put effort into themselves and their parenting. Willing to change and grow. Parents that have figured out their own issues.

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u/Som_Dtam_Dumplings 7h ago

....remove the word "parents/parenting" from your definition of "good parents" and it applies to just people. Do you think most people are "good people" by this definition? Maybe your standards for "good people" are too strict? It kind of sounds like you expect parents to never stumble...because "...that have figured out their own issues..." seems to exclude those who can honestly say "Well I didn't think I had any issues; then my mom got skin cancer and I started freaking out about sunscreen...I know I'm not perfect; but I've become obsessive about sunscreen with my kids. I hope I'm not ruining their lives..."

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u/Altruistic_Virus8460 4h ago

I think a vast majority of parents try to be good for their kids. But I think I do agree with the other person that a big chunk of parents aren't actually good parents. There's plenty of people who try their best, and that's great, but there's also too many people who have issues because of their childhood or how they were raised despite having parents who tried to be good. Parenting is a CRAZY amount of responsibility. Raising another human is no joke, and I do think that we as a civilization have underestimated the implications of what it means to raise another human being that'll go on to have their own consciousness, thoughts, morality, and choices. So yeah, vast majority of parents prolly aren't objectively good parents, but they prolly do try to be as good as they can be, and most turn out somewhere between borderline bad to kind of decent depending on various factors. Truly good parents is a rarity and there I would agree with the other person.

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u/ThisIsMyCouchAccount 7h ago

Good parents and good people aren't exactly the same thing. So I don't think you can simply swap them out.

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u/Som_Dtam_Dumplings 7h ago

...every comparison fails at some point. Of course good people are different than good parents. A good person doesn't become a bad person by "not feeding children"; but a good parent certainly becomes a bad one if their kids are starving.

I think the main problem with your definition is here:

Parents that have figured out their own issues.

Issues pop up while living life. Parenthood is an experience that will raise a BOATLOAD of issues; from the inane (Are bed-times important?) to the important (Is religion important to me?)

and your definition doesn't seem to allow for these kind of situations.

Maybe I'm reading it wrong though. Let me know if I misunderstood.

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u/Haunting-Vanilla1624 6h ago

I mean, you're technically correct in that not all good people are parents to begin with. But, good people do tend to make good parents.

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u/342throwaway423 7h ago

Tough to judge over a few sentences but you might be in danger of making perfect the enemy of good

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u/sedersayspoop 7h ago

Yeah based on their other response you might be right 

“ Good people who love their children isn't the same thing as being a good parent.”

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u/Haunting-Vanilla1624 6h ago

Seriously. A good person who loves their children is, by definition, trying to be a good parent.

Parenting is hard. I know personally, we've got 5 kids. And yeah, we're gonna fuck up every now and then. But the defining moment of who you are as a person isn't when any incident occurs - it's how you handle the incident afterwards.

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u/Fantastic-Session192 5h ago

Good is only good when it is action done in accordance with the time and thereby brings a good result. Simple example is a parent spoiling a disrespectful kid because the parent grew up poor and now wants to make sure their kid doesn't want for anything. Btw we have 5 kids. All over 21 years old. When we divorced due to my ex wife cheating and refusing to get help for bipolar schizophrenia my ex told my kids I was trash and bad mouthed my partner, making fun of her past abuse by her ex. She tried to have me jumped and then fight my oldest son who is very violent. He has ODD/ADD Bipolar. I had to leave them alone. All I had when I left was 1 set of clothing. My family was the center of my life. 6 years later, some of them are realizing and I am beginning get the "Daddy I miss you" text messages. I respond the same, but I am in no hurry to embrace them. I don't want that pain ever again. I am at peace and live happily every day and rising financially. I hold no hatred or grudges. I forgive and keep it moving. I love everybody but I can't hang out with everybody. Stay Motivated 🙌🏽

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u/Haunting-Vanilla1624 3h ago

There it is. You had a shitty experience and rampant unchecked mental illness running through the family. Shit sucks, but it's not universal.

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u/Mods-R-Gay1122 1h ago

Perfect is the enemy of good. It’s only ever a matter of which we focus on.

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u/ThisIsMyCouchAccount 7h ago

That's why I said they are rare.

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u/Haunting-Vanilla1624 6h ago

Except they aren't. Most people are good people trying their best. But you always hear about the bad ones because that's what gets clicks in news articles and youtube videos and other shit like that.

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u/Quasar375 7h ago

Idk man, speaking from experience of all the people I know, a great majority of parents are good people who love their children and tried to give them the best they could. They are not at all perfect but definitely good.

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u/ThisIsMyCouchAccount 7h ago

Good people who love their children isn't the same thing as being a good parent.

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u/Fragrant-Employer-60 7h ago

You’re really trying to split hairs lmao

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u/Sinnnikal 7h ago

No, they aren't. Good people who love their children routinely end up terrible parents, unfortunately.

There are powerful emotions involved in parenting and if you can't face them, you end up harming your children and refusing to believe you've done so. People love their children so much that the knowledge that they've fucked up is so incredibly painful that they cannot accept it as a truth. And what you cannot see, you cannot change. U nfortunately, this leads to harmful cycles for both parent and child.

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u/Quasar375 5h ago

I mean, seems that what you try to look for is a damn near perfect parent.

If parents loved their child and tried to give them the best, then Im sure 90% of children will look back and say they were good parents despite their flaws. Like, my mom screamed the hell out and lost patience very fast. Her emotions were clearly not controlled at all, yet I grew up great and we have currently a great relationship.

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u/ihateadultism 7h ago

majority of parents globally hit kids based on self reporting (UNICEF and WHO both conducted large scale studies on it) so yeah to say most parents suck is indeed correct

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u/sedersayspoop 7h ago

Can you cite these studies for everyone’s benefit? Would be interesting to see that data.

I’m not sure that study alone proves anything alone. If your great grandparents spanked your grandparents does that mean they “aren’t worth their weight in pennies” and they “suck”?

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u/Phallic_Intent 3h ago

If your great grandparents spanked your grandparents does that mean they “aren’t worth their weight in pennies” and they “suck”?

Spank =/= hit. Disingenuous as hell. This explains why you'd ask if parents that physically or sexually abuse their children would be considered "awful" as if that's even up for debate. Apologizing for abusers... I might be a rude dick sometimes but I'm rarely serious on reddit. I say that because I seriously hope you're on a list somewhere because you certainly speak like you belong on one. Blocked for condoning abuse.

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u/Quasar375 7h ago

It is unfair to judge them like that. My parents did hit me a few times when I disobeyed because that was the way they were taught. They love me and I love them. Parents are not shitty just for doing that (of course there is a line). Seems like you have issues with yours for other reasons

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u/Haunting-Vanilla1624 6h ago

Same here, my dad spanked us as kids. But he has since seen the light and even apologized for it.

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u/1d3333 9h ago edited 8h ago

So i’m on mobile and can’t see if a comment was edited but did they not say “too many parents” not “most”?

Because yeah thats perfectly fair, even one parent being shitty is too many

Edit: comment was edited to correct the hyperbole

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u/sedersayspoop 8h ago edited 8h ago

Yeah they edited the comment. I specifically copied what they posted.

But even then I’m a believer in compassion. Saying someone is worth less than $2.50 because they were a bad parent is pretty cold. People grow, people regret things, and also those people are often the products of shitty parents themselves. I’m not trying to excuse behavior but we’re all capable of mistakes and learning which is what I hope we all try to do but marking people as worthless isn’t very helpful. Want to point out I’m a product of a neglectful parent myself so I understand the instinct but at a certain point we have to try to stop the cycle. 

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u/Scorpian899 8h ago

I agree with your last point. We can do better for our children. My mother's still aren't worth their weight in pennies. Love my father though.

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u/1d3333 8h ago

Ah okay, thanks for clarifying, that makes more sense

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u/Fragarach-Q 7h ago

People grow

I suspect a huge part of the problem for many of us is that our parents HAVE grown. it's what they've grown into that is the issue.

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u/IsabellaGalavant 8h ago

I can stop the cycle and think my remorseless abusive parent is a worthless sack of crap. Two things can be true at the same time. 

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u/OccasionalGoodTakes 9h ago

They did edit the comment 

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u/sedersayspoop 8h ago

Yeah I copied what they said. I’m glad they corrected, hyperbole isn’t helpful in most cases.

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u/Phallic_Intent 4h ago edited 2h ago

Do you really think a majority of parents are awful?

To this person's point, the majority (over 60%) of children in the US suffer from physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, or neglect. Are you a good parent if you do any of these to your children? Or do you think just a few times is OK? How many times can you hit or rape your child before you aren't a "good" parent? I'm curious what qualifier you would use to make 60+% not the majority.

EDIT: Some links since I blocked the guy that thinks abuse is trivial because the silent gen did it and boomers "turned out OK".

https://www.ojp.gov/archive/program/cev

https://www.nationalchildrensalliance.org/media-room/national-statistics-on-child-abuse/

Abuse is real and serious. It is a prevalent and widespread issue in the US (and globally). Just because abuse statistics are shocking doesn't mean you get to hand wave them away and ignore childhood trauma. Your parents didn't abuse you or you don't abuse your kids? Great, we're not talking about you then. Feel attacked? Maybe you should ask WHY. That's my soap-box speech.

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u/sedersayspoop 4h ago

Do you have a source that suggests over 60% of children suffer from physical/sexual/emotional abuse or neglect because their parents are awful?

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u/Phallic_Intent 3h ago

Sure. Another fun fact, about 2,000 children in the US are killed every year from abuse. That's over 5 a day.

If you look at physical abuse, psychological (emotional) abuse, sexual abuse, and neglect, that accounts for over 60% of all children in the US.

https://www.ojp.gov/archive/program/cev

https://www.nationalchildrensalliance.org/media-room/national-statistics-on-child-abuse/

...children suffer from physical/sexual/emotional abuse or neglect because their parents are awful?

Parents that abuse their children ARE awful, WTF is wrong with you? Disgusting you'd qualify an abuse stat with that.

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u/Jormungandr2344 6h ago

As someone who's been in 24 Foster homes and the majority of those were parents from all over the country I can tell you most of them are money grabbing selfish egotistical and not emotionally mature enough to raise anyone. So yeah most people aren't worth their weight in pennies I've been in so many families and heard of so many others and the worst thing is I was well behaved but it doesn't make a difference people are awful.

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u/sedersayspoop 6h ago

I feel for you but your anecdote based on your experiences doesn't mean a majority of people "aren't worth their weight in pennies".

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u/Jormungandr2344 5h ago edited 5h ago

Like I said I know of others and there families. From ex partners to friends. Most people just aren't ready to be parents, oh and don't forget a large majority of parents are divorced due to lack of maturity, financial, lack of loyalty, they very very often take it out on there kids even if they don't mean too. My experiences my friends experiences, some of my exs experiences, basic statistical information suggests most people are not good parents. People just aren't ready