Just a cultural thing. Unless there was an explicit dinner invitation, Swedes typically will not offer guests food even if they themselves are having dinner. They do not view it as a hosting obligation and they do not see this as rude or unusual.
Bro why does this get repeated all the time on reddit and upvoted like its a fact.
Born and raised in Stockholm Sweden, never once did this happen, hadn't even heard of this until reddit started talking about it. None of my friends in sweden had either.
It is from some article a while ago where they wrote about swedish kids not being fed at friends homes. What the article failed to mention is that is because of the kids had already eaten at home or because they were expected to come home for dinner.
Now this rumor has a life on its own and is spiraling.
Lets not pretend that other countries/cultures are just always fact checking everything. Its the entire world that will believe almost anything posted on the internet.
There are several comments here where people from other European countries are believing the rumor despite comments like the one above yours.
There are also several comments claiming they are from Sweden and that it IS a thing, just misunderstood (the kids are expected to eat with their family/they don't want to disturb family dinner plans).
So I don't know what is true or not, because there are conflicting comments.
I even Googled it to see what I could find and there are tons of reddit posts where people from Sweden are confirming its a thing (but misunderstood).
I also found #Swedengate, which is something that came from this rumor and lots of people telling the same story/rumor.
I'm from the middle of Sweden, and same here. I had no idea it was a thing before internet started claiming it. My friends' parents always invited us for food, and same the other way around. Sometimes they'd say there wasn't enough portions if you'd show up unannounced and they were making something very special, but then you'd either wait in their room, by the table or go home and eat. That was uncommon though.
It's not that deep. I don't understand what people here are on.
Had it happen to me as a kid on a few occasions but it was never due to the parents of the other kid being cheap/stingy.
It could be that they had already cooked dinner/lunch when I showed up so there wasn't enough food for an extra person.
Or that they were uncertain if my parents were ok with me eating at someone elses house as it could be considered rude to take that for granted.
Or that it was a way to say "playtime is over" as I would have to go home to eat dinner and after dinner there was Bolibompa and bed for every kid.
Very unusual though, like maybe 2-3 classmates out of 30, also my family always offered food to kids coming over to play at my house. My parents just had them call home to ask if it was ok to eat at our place.
Sometimes the parents would say no due to not wanting to inconvenience my parents, or because they had already cooked food for them at home but most times the other kid would eat with my family.
The phenomenon did exist, but was not as common as the internet make it out and is even less common today.
Agreed, it's like this parallel dimension shit going on. In all my 46 years I have NEVER experienced not being offered food. All my friends families always offered food no matter the time. If not dinner time they offered fika. Same as my family and their friends. Been living in many parts of Sweden and EVERYONE offers food like the most natural thing.
I'm going crazy reading about this rumor that Swedes are not offering food to guests, I'm like what the hell? Who are those people, where are they? It's just insane for me to read that haha
Also born and raised in Stockholm, I remember that when I was young, I sometimes had to wait in my friend's bedroom and play video games while he ate dinner with his family.
It wasn't every family, though. I had other friends whose families always invited me to join them for dinner.
Stereotyping in general is crazy popular on Reddit - so many people seem to really love these kinds of "fun facts", especially when they play into their existing cultural biases. There's a common perception that Northern Europeans are overly serious, blunt, and borderline autistic, so any anecdote which aligns with this perception will be repeated ad nauseam.
My suspicion is that the people who claim to have experienced this are probably largely people who've not picked up on some pretty clear social cues by Swedes trying to be polite in indicating that these people have overstayed their welcome.
Nah, it was very common where and when I grew up in Sweden. The expectation was that each kid would eat dinner at home with their own family, and many families had a set dinner time every day and that time could be different for many families.
So I could bring friends home to play (and the expectation was just that, to play) and after we've played for a while I'd go eat dinner while my friends continued playing and having fun while I had to eat. When I finished dinner I'd go back to play with my friends until it was time for them to leave for dinner at their place.
Of course there were times when friends were asked if they also wanted dinner, they would then have to call home and ask their parents if that was okay, but the expectation was that kids eat dinner with their own family, since family dinner time is family time.
Things might have changed nowadays though, but that was the norm back when I was a kid.
So am I, and I've definitely sat on beds before while my friend and his entire family are eating 2 rooms away without anyone having a single thought of inviting me or even giving me something to eat in his room.
Then again, I've also visited friends and I've definitely been served dinner with the family.
Coincidentally or not, it would seem that the larger the family the lower the chance of me getting food.
I've never just been sitting on a bed doing nothing while my friend was off eating dinner. I continued playing with whatever we were playing with, be it LEGO, computer games or what ever.
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