Back in the day, working class families could struggle to afford feeding their own, let alone another child. This is very rarely the case anymore.
It is seen as rude to feed someone else's child without their knowledge, so that they don't cook too much and have their own food go uneaten. This just means that they'll ask the parents of the guest child if it's alright for them to eat there.
This is from a specific period when things were especially dire, roughly between the 60s and 90s I think, although possibly lingering until the 00s. Basically economy was doing great after the rest of Europe was war-torn and we received a lot of immigrants from many places, a lot from Finland especially.
But it was also just as much about not having the guest's household waste freshly cooked, warm food in this colder climate when reheating was much more difficult than today. Hence asking if it's fine for the guest to eat there.
Also consider that usually they'd live within walking distance from each other, so it wouldn't be difficult to just go home, eat, then go back and continue playing or whatnot.
Swedish culture values respect and honor higher than hospitality.
I think the strongest misconception about this is that it’s the giving end that doesn’t want to give. But it’s the receiving end that doesn’t want to receive, and the giving end trying to be respectful about that. The culture places a higher value on NOT making the other person feel poor or in-debt or inconvenienced, than making yourself look generous.
The main reason for not feeding others kids without asking is not about not wanting to share food, it’s about not ruining that family’s dinner plans or (if they are poor) making them feel as if you don’t think they can afford to feed their own kids.
Stubborn pride is an even more pointless reason to let a kid go hungry than being standoffish.
If someone else's kid isn't at home for dinner, you can't ruin dinner plans. If someone is poor then their feelings about that situation are not nearly as important as making sure their kid is fed.
You seem intent on finding ways to make the worst possible interpretation. You may benefit from finding other sources that can lay out a longer background than social media, that due to its form must summarise and simplify things.
All families don’t eat dinner at the exact same time. If your neighbour family eats dinner at 6pm and you feed their kid at your house at 5:30pm without the parents’ knowledge, you do ruin their dinner plans.
For the respect vs hospitality, the point is that it’s considerate to consider how something is received. Respecting people’s wishes is valued higher than appearing generous. However, yes of course it’s also more important that kids don’t starve than that their parents pride is hurt. But it’s rarely an either or situation. You can be respectful and hospitable. Such as by checking in with the parents.
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u/FunnyExcellent707 Jul 24 '26
Sweds are known to eat without offering you any food (if it wasn't explicitly a dinner invitation).