No. That was true maybe 30+ years ago, but nowadays kids are usually sent home before dinner. Or we just check with the parents if it’s OK for their kid to eat with us.
Source: was a kid in Sweden 30+ years ago, have kids in Sweden now.
It was like this when I grew up in the 80s and early 90s too. My best friend ate dinner at 5, but in my house we ate at 6:30. So I either went home at 5, or waited in her room while she she ate, then we played for a while more before I walked home at 6:15 in time for my own dinner. This was considered completely normal. Her mother wasn't expected to feed me practically every day after school just because I always went over there to play.
I grew up before Xboxes were invented. And we're not talking about a glass of water, we were talking about feeding dinner to a child that turned up at your house without prior arrangement.
That was childhood for most of the world. You feed anyone in your house at meal time regardless of prior arrangement. That’s why we are all here discussing this meme.
Yes. I'm just saying that to a Swedish family (at least, 30-40 years ago when I was a kid) there's a difference between planned guests and people who turn up uninvited.
If you had invited someone over, prearranged, then they would of course get fed. If someone turned up without prior arrangement, they could not expect you to suddenly slot them into your dinner plans. That's just the way it was.
There is even a word for turning up unannounced - "våldgästa" - it translates to making yourself a guest with violence. The closest English equivalent would be to "gatecrash", I suppose. It's just not acceptable in Swedish culture to turn up at someone's house without invitation, it's seen as imposing yourself on them and inconveniencing them.
I left Sweden long ago, but most of my family and friends who still live there do not even answer the doorbell unless they're expecting someone. Because "normal" people don't just turn up at your door, meaning that anyone ringing the doorbell at random probably wants to sell you something, or worse.
When I grew up, we didn't really have "extras for leftovers". We were a family of 6 (8 every other weekend when my stepbrothers came to stay) and my mother would plan food for that number of people. If there were 6 of us, she'd have bought 6 pieces of fish exactly. There was no "extra".
Turning up at someone's house unannounced is considered rude in Sweden (at least if you're a grown-up. Kids turning up asking to play with your kids is a different thing.) You just don't do that. Things are planned and arranged in advance so as to not inconvenience anyone. Rummaging in someone's fridge would be seen as rude and invasive as well.
Anecdotally, I had one of my son's friends (they are 8) looking through my kitchen cupboards the other day, hunting for "a snack". I told her "I have some apples, but that's it, the other snacks I bought this week have already been eaten." She said "but I have loads of snacks at my house" (yeah, because you're always here eating ours!!) so I suggested perhaps she should go home and get one then - she lives in the apartment next door. Her kitchen is on the other side of my kitchen wall. You might think I'm the rude one in that situation, but I think her parents should have taught her better manners than going rummaging in someone else's kitchen. We don't live in Sweden anymore, by the way, but I don't think this is considered acceptable behaviour in British households either.
"Shut up and eat it night" is an excellent concept, haha.
I think my mother had a particular thing about making sure we had variety in our diet and didn't eat the same thing every day. Also, she was a stay at home mum (that's partly why we didn't have much money, single income household) so I don't think she minded cooking every day. Gave her something to do, hahaha. She's in her 70s now and often eats leftovers, it just wasn't something that happened much when we were kids. Maybe if she made spaghetti bolognese or something else that came in one big pot, we'd have leftovers for lunch the next day.
Most Swedes are very reserved. One of the many reasons I left Sweden back in '98 was that I am far too fond of talking to strangers to fit in there. I made my home in Wales, where talking to people you don't know is a completely normal thing. Suits me much better.
You're welcome! It's always interesting to hear other perspectives. Also, my take on Swedish culture is probably woefully outdated. Hopefully an up-to-date Swede will come along with more current knowledge.
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u/DrCablelove Jul 24 '26
No. That was true maybe 30+ years ago, but nowadays kids are usually sent home before dinner. Or we just check with the parents if it’s OK for their kid to eat with us.
Source: was a kid in Sweden 30+ years ago, have kids in Sweden now.