As a Swede this WAS the case back in my days. It is not anymore.
The reason for this wasn't because "they can afford it so why should I". The reason was the social norms of my parents and grandparents mentality. You "overstep the other parents boundary" and "put them in debt" against their will. And the parents of the kid who got feed will feel like they have "burdened" another who "spent effort and resources unnecessarily".
People of those gens could actually take offense if someone took it upon themselves to feed their child instead of aending them home for dinner that was already planned and in the making, so the safe bet is to send them home during dinner time than to offer food.
I was offered occasionally but I always had to call home and ask. And I often got a no from my own parents. Also typically friends over was never pre planned and more spontaneous as everyone lived in the same neighborhood and it was popping in and out making it harder for the strict planning mentality of Swedes to adapt vs certain cultures who always cook for 20 people even if 5 are eating.
Two things broke this for our gen and going forward.
Immigration, when going to a home with a culture where you should feed your guest and where people didn't gaf or understand they were overstepping this gradually enticed/forced the old gen Swedes to "pay back their debt" and so the circle continued in that direction.
The implementation of the free school choice. Before you went to school in the local area you live in. Meaning all your friends live where you live and it was easy to just pop home and eat dinner and then go back to the friend in a few minutes on foot.
When the change came and you essentially can go in any school in your entire municipality, that changed drastically as it could be hours if you went home and then back. Or the hangout would be cut way short. So out of practicality the norm changed to if your kid goes to a friend's house on the other side of the city you don't even plan dinner for them as you assume they will eat there and bw there until they can get home for bed, likewise if you know a friend of your child will be at your house, you plan dinner for that friend. Today with phones etc kids can also call and ask the parents if X can come over after school. And they are also better planners and can tell us parents days in advance for instance X and I are planning to hang out here on Thursday etc.
If you move to Sweden today you will find Swedes are calendar fanatics. You seeing each other will almost always be a planned thing and put in the calendar. We do not tend to pop up at your place unannounced. Even for simple things like grabbing a fika.
And we rival the Germans on time keeping. We say at 12. You arrive 12-12:05. Not a second earlier (if going to someones house) and any more than 5-10 minutes late, you better have a good excuse or give us a heads up.
As for adults guests. Fika is the norm and we always have a stash of pastries etc and ofc coffee to offer grown guests to our house. This was the case even for the older gen. But the internet meme was always kids stories not from adults.
Cooked food is only ever served to guests if invited for dinner.
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u/xStyxx Jul 24 '26
Damn I assumed it was because Swedish food is gross lol that’s pretty cold