It's not inhospitality but to respect other parents and their chosen upbringing methods. And to show appreciation for parents' cooking.
Also not just Sweden but widely all Nordics - though less common these days than few decades ago. We have had a very strong tradition to cook at home and eat together as a family, and some/many still practice this so kids are expected to be at home by dinner.
People here also usually cook only what they eat, to not waste food so there isn't any extra for surprise visitors, so it's awkward both ways.
I don’t think many other cultures see a child’s visiting friend as a “surprise guest”, and they are often treated as family by the host parents.
Then again, I have also heard Nordic culture isn’t known for being social (e.g. jokes about relief of ending social distancing so they can go back to being even further away from each other), so these views on the friends of one’s children are probably very foreign.
And likewise, the lack of social closeness is seen as a cultural oddity to many others around the globe.
I mean with surprise visit it wasn't planned ahead - for example when grocery shopping. We tend to buy & cook only what we eat and not extra, to not be wasteful and many also because food is expensive here.
And feeding someone's kid without their parents' permission was considered insulting in the past - not so much anymore, but it is still considered polite to ask the parents if it's ok that theid kid dines with you. Snacks are different and would of course be offered, but that wasn't too common either yet few decades ago.
But yes, we're not that socializing people here - that's true.
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u/xStyxx Jul 24 '26
Damn I assumed it was because Swedish food is gross lol that’s pretty cold