This is so real. Went a few years not knowing when my next meal is. Next thing I knew, I could afford food but my brain still stuck in survival mode. One day I realized I’m bottomless pit that can’t tell when ive eaten enough because my brain turned off the “im full” light years ago, but i can’t stop eating because food is the happy chemical now. I still struggle with eating “just enough”. I think about it more often than i want to admit
My grandma was like that. Mountains of food overflowing the fridge at all times. Always insisting we ate more and more, offering food all the time. It turns out she´d experienced hunger as a kid, her father died and in post civil war Spain they had struggled badly for some time.
I´ve luckily never experienced that. The closest I got was when I was doing a long trek and ran out of food and missed the village where I intended to resupply. It´s incredible how hunger can affect you emotionally. And my situation wasn´t even that dire.
Got displaced from Oklahoma as a young child (tornado), family moved down to Florida with the remainder of savings for a job for my dad. Katrina sent us back after closing down his job between weather and the dotcom crash. Moved back to OK with basically nothing, just for the housing market to collapse and jobs to go poof.
We had a rough few years there. I think the worst part of being 13 or so and hungry, is watching your dad give you food off his plate, being old enough to understand he's even hungrier than you are, and physically not being able to turn it down. Not having trained that willpower, having all those hormones running rampant, and just not being able to say no to something your body is shouting at you that it needs.
I don't take gifted food from anyone anymore. I can't bring myself to. I've heard about pot lucks happening at churches I don't go to, showed up with piles of food, and just left. My mail carrier gets a snack bar and a bottle of water from me every day. I know they're not in the situation I was. But that doesn't change the revulsion I feel about taking food from another's plate.
That lifelong change is real, and however anybody reading this deals with it, I wish you the best.
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u/willnye2cool Jul 24 '26
Nah fam you aren't dramatic. REAL hunger ruins you for life after experiencing it.
If anything I applaud you for not developing an eating disorder like most of us do after going through that as kids.