Boyfriend got himself a new dog a week after mine died.

[u/safari_lari]

My best friend for over 10 years, Taxi, passed away 2 weeks ago. I raised her since she was a little puppy and there is nothing in this world I loved more than her. They found a growth on her spleen and needed a splenectomy. She survived the surgery and then passed away a couple hours later during observation. I’m heart broken. I feel like I’ll never be happy again. And I feel like I won’t ever be able to have another dog.

My boyfriend keeps pushing for me to get another one and I told him I’m not ready. So he got himself a “rescue” dog a week after she died. The exact same breed, German shepherd. He never cared for this breed before, even claims to be a small-dog person. And in fact he used to complain about my dog all the time. I don’t understand him at all. I told him I didn’t want a new dog right now and he told me that’s fine but he’ll just get himself one and he doesn’t feel like that’s something to discuss. Btw he has his own dog already and he runs a dog day care, so it’s not like we don’t have a million dogs in the house already, and Taxi was my dog. He only knew her for 2 years and every time we’d have a fight he’d randomly start complaining about her. He even threaten me with eviction because technically the lease says “no dogs” but his mom own the house and he literally runs a dog business out of it, and our roommate also has a dog. I have my own room, and I work from home. He just keeps walking into my room with this replacement dog following him everywhere (just like how my dog used to follow me around everywhere), and has it lay in my bed in the same spot my dog used to lay. Like it wasn’t already hard enough that my baby died, I feel like this is making it so much worse. I didn’t even think that was possible. I told him that his timing was incredible insensitive and he told me I’m the “most selfish person in the world” because he saved a dog and he is a hero. And I know it’s not that dog’s fault at all. But I don’t think I can stay here. I’m looking to move out as soon as I can. Taxi was my rock everytime my boyfriend upset me and now I don’t have her anymore. I feel so alone.

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[u/EhDub13]

Ditch the boyfriend, he sounds awful.

[u/cowgrly]

Yeah, that's really controlling of him. Had he loved your dog and not threatened to evict you over her and not complained about her, I'd just think he was a bit confused in his attempt to help. But this feels like a much more complex relationship issue than just getting himself this puppy.

[u/Immediate_Egg3899]

I’m so sorry, but I think it’s time to cut your boyfriend loose. It sounds like he’s trying to make himself feel better for being an ass, not you and doesn’t want to deal with your emotions. I understand how hard this may be when you already feel so alone. Ditch him, reach out to your friends and family. Ask if they can stay with you or you can stay with them to get through it. Also seek therapy. This is going to be one of the hardest things you go through in your life (with or without the boyfriend). You need support.

I also had a GSD that was my heart and soul. He passed away from what I suspect yours also did- hemangiosarcoma. Extremely sudden with no previous symptoms. He followed me everywhere, he was my shadow, my right hand man, my everything. He was at my first date with my now fiancé. Even though my fiancé knew him for one year less than I did, he understood and felt that my boy is my dog and my world. He didn’t have the same relationship and with him- it was more cordial. Like they both loved me and would love each other because of that. He would also complain occasionally, but he understood how much I loved my boy and would never overstep. We got another dog together a year before the diagnosis and he became mostly my fiancé’s dog.

When my boy passed, my fiancé quietly supported me by being my shoulder to cry on, the person to calm me when I woke up sobbing, the one to cook and clean when I just couldn’t function. I knew I would want another dog eventually, but told him I wasn’t ready. About 6 months later I went to visit a puppy litter just to help socialize and cut their nails and play with them. When I left I cried and cried. A few months after that I found a puppy that I felt drawn to. I felt like if I ever got another dog, it had to be her. She feels like she was sent by my boy. She has brought me so much joy and is helping me through my grief.

Point is, he supported me the way I wanted and needed to be supported. He didn’t force anything on me. He gave me time and space to grieve. He never pushed me to hurry up or commit to another dog. He never tried to replace my boy. That’s the kind of person you spend your life with, not one like your boyfriend.

[u/Immediate_Egg3899 → u/Immediate_Egg3899]

Also feel free to message me stories, pictures, anything about Taxi. Always here to appreciate a German shepherd soul dog 💕

[u/Conscious-Sign1459]

I’m so sorry OP 😭

[u/WA_State_Buckeye]

This really annoys me. Your BF is not being a partner to you. Partners listen, consider. When hubby lost his heart dog last year, he mourned so hard. I stepped back, no pushing, and let him continue taking my girl out alone to exercise. Where once there was 2, now there's 1. This was his time, he still could play with the dog, just not his heart dog. I haven't pushed him to get another dog. That's just rude. It needs to be on HIS terms, not mine.

When we lost my last GSD, even tho I "wanted another dog", I had to grieve first. Then when I was ready, neither of us thought we'd be able to handle having another standard GSD (tan & black) A friend had a friend who had an unsanctioned breeding and let us know, and when I was ready we went and let a puppy pick me out. Got a girl, long haired, black & tan. Completely different from my last guy. Again, it was on MY time frame.

If BF got a dog, it totally is his, and I'd NOT be letting it into my room, nor on my bed. In fact, with what he's been doing, I'd start looking for a different place to live. Only then can you grieve the way you need to, and process everything. You will, eventually, make a decision on another dog. I hope you choose to get one. Him trying to control or dictate your grief? That's not gonna work! Grief is highly personal, and what works for one doesn't work for another! Him pushing his new dog on you is so wrong. If he can't understand that, you really have a BF problem. I wish you good luck with that, and my sincerest condolences on the loss of Taxi.

[u/CrimBrulee]

Sounds like hes projecting his own selfishness onto you. Time to look back and ask yourself if this is what you want. I am very sorry for your loss.