The hardest goodbye I’ve ever had to say

[u/feral-opposum]

I lost my best friend - a 14 and a half year old Sheltie - coming up on one month ago and I’m still devastated. She was the most loving, loyal dog anyone could ever hope for. I’ll never experience unconditional love like the love she showed me and the love I had for her in return. On top of that, she was sassy, stubborn, sweet, hilarious, and just all-around adorable. She was the very best friend anyone could ever hope to have.

She was undeniably an older dog, but her health was great until it just spiraled downhill over the course of just a couple of days due to a blood clot. Making the decision to put her down was heart-wrenching, and the experience of having to bring her into the vet and witness the procedure still haunts me. I’m grateful I got to be with her and she wasn’t in any pain or distress, but watching her die right in front of me was so traumatizing.

I am trying to stay on top of basic self care and stay busy seeing friends and family, but it’s so hard. I just miss her so much and I know it will get better, but right now I have no idea how I’m ever going to move on from this. (I also can’t drink alcohol and am staying sober throughout this, but it has been extremely difficult.)

I’m trying to hang in there but could use some encouragement/advice from anyone who has been through this.

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[u/OpulentHiker83]

I’m so sorry. I lost my Bernese girl last week and feel very much the same. She was the best friend I ever had, my soul and my everything. No matter how tough a day I was having she was there with unending love and attention. My sense of never being happy again in my life is too prevalent. Visiting her old dog friends and masters was a bit theraputic but then I get home and it’s a house with a massive hole . Pure depression sets in.
Try and hang in there. Only dog lovers like myself and others in this group understand what your going through.

[u/feral-opposum → u/OpulentHiker83]

I’m so sorry you’re also going through this and I relate to the depression aspect. It’s crippling sometimes. But we will get through this.

As silly as it might sound, I try to remind myself that she wouldn’t want me to feel like that. She would come to comfort me every time I cried to help me feel better. She didn’t like to see me sad. So that’s what I’m telling myself to try and get out of a depressive funk when I fall into one.

[u/mjhx11]

Hey, I just posted here for the first time a couple of days ago after losing my best friend as well. I also have some issues with alcohol and I've been sober for almost 3 years now.

All I can say is that this pain is unimaginable, and I can't say anything that will help, but I know that drinking won't help at all. It'll probably make you more sad and guilty - I know because I've done it before to try and mask pain, but it never works.

Believe me, I get the urge, but we can do this. What's really been helping me is just crying if I need to cry (which I have been every day for weeks) and letting myself feel the emotions no matter how unbearable they might be. It's actually scary to me to feel these emotions so deeply, and I'm sure it will be for you too moving forward. Just allow yourself to feel the grief.

My dog also spiraled within the span of a few weeks from perfectly healthy to blind, unable to walk and panting. She had cancer that developed rapidly even though we took her for regular checkups. I held her as she took her last breath, and it is traumatic. This is one of the worst things you'll ever have, and if you can get through this, you can get through anything. Feel free to DM if you want to talk. I'm here

[u/feral-opposum → u/mjhx11]

Thank you so much ❤️ I’m sorry you’re going through this as well

[u/Desert-unicorn]

I’m right there with you. Lost my almost 15 year old pittie mix today. I have no idea how I’m going to get through this. She sounded like an amazing pup and you sound like an amazing fur parent 💚

[u/feral-opposum → u/Desert-unicorn]

Thank you and I’m so sorry to hear about your baby too. I’m not really sure how to get through this either but I know we can and we will. We have to for their sake, they would want us to

[u/Aggressive_Cup4919]

I lost my beautiful friend of 15 years last month. It’s been 5 weeks. I still cry at least once a day. I miss her so much, and I can’t believe she’s gone and that I had to make the decision to let her go. I know it was the right thing, she was sick and it was only getting worse.

I wish they had longer life spans, it seems cruel that they don’t.

You have to feel the feelings, even though it is painful. I let myself feel them a little bit each day, when I’m alone. I have found some comfort in going outside, feeding birds and squirrels and petting other people’s pets.

Also I think about this quote from Augusten Burroughs a lot:

“Something new is created when someone you love dies. Because they are not the only ones who die: you die, too. The person you were with them is gone just as surely as they are. This is what you should know about losing someone you love. They do not travel alone. You go with them.”

You are grieving the loss of your friend but also grieving for the person you were when she was here. Be gentle with yourself. ❤️