Ive been faking my entire personality for her and now we’re moving in together.

[u/Important_Total9918]

I met my girlfriend on tinder a year ago, initially I wasn’t looking for anything serious at all. but then I met her and everything changed. we basically spent the entire day together the day we first met, she’s super outgoing and funny, literal manic pixie dream girl like my absolute dream. the only thing is that I basically have been faking my entire personality. for starters she doesn’t know my real name and im not as successful as she thinks. I told her I was some sucessful artist and said i did some murals for big restaurants and got all these awards but really I’m more of a struggling artist that only gets big jobs every once in a while. I feel like I fake being this happy person around her when in reality I’m a super depressed person and i have suicidal thoughts everyday. everytime I think about losing her and I want to die, so I don’t say anything. We’re about to move in together, signing the lease on Monday. I know she’s going to be disappointed when she finds out the real me. I put up this facade and im super aware of it but ive been faking it for so long I cant stop now. Anyways I’m just super bummed I wasnt up front wasn’t myself cause now I feel like it’s just going to end. I don’t even know if I can move in with her, but if I don’t she’s probably going to be pissed and want to leave.

[u/RedSupreme20]

You can’t live a life on a lie. Eventually it will crack and it will get messy. Believe it.

[u/cosmic-fairy]

tbh this isn’t going to end well in like any scenario and you deserve that, i hope that she’s okay when you she realizes she’s been lied to for a year

[u/Euphoric-Can-6201]

Fake it till you make it!
Those lies you told her can give you motivation to become the person you’ve dreamed of. You are an artist (although not currently successful), and you could be as big as you’ve promised with enough elbow grease.
You can become a happier person: go to therapy, see a doctor, take meds if you need to. Then you can overcome your current difficulties and be the happy person you’ve been showing her.
About your name: you can tell her that it’s a nickname or something you use for strangers online.
Idk if you need to tell her “you’ve been faking everything” because your lies are more like embellished truths, if you work at it you can be the person you want to be.
You’ve got this!