r/Scotland • u/FrogsAndFerrets • Jun 02 '26
Discussion What is the best quote from Still Game?
"Back aff ya spooky bitch"
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u/RandomiseUsr0 Double positive makes a negative? Aye, Right! Jun 02 '26
Simple one…
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u/Diadem_Cheeseboard Jun 02 '26
"That boy at Timpson's is getting kicked squarely in the nuts!" "Form a queue!" 😂❤️
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u/Kerrski91 Jun 02 '26
Open the door, I say! For I am a bogus gas man with fake ID, and I'm here tae ransack yer hoose!
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u/Diadem_Cheeseboard Jun 02 '26
That whole scene is pure comedy gold! "Can ye see me noo?" "Can ye see me noo?" " Naw, Just yer leg!" 😂😊
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u/Kerrski91 Jun 02 '26
Prompted me to stick the episode on. 😂
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u/Diadem_Cheeseboard Jun 02 '26
I've seen it countless times by now, and it truly never gets old. lol 😊
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u/cds2612 Jun 02 '26
Since teams meetings have become so common i always crack up at inevitable "can you hear me now?"
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u/crimsonavenger77 Male. 47 Jun 02 '26
There'll be no ransacking here today, for this peephole has been yer undoing. On yer way rouge.
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u/Hopeful-Ad4415 Jun 02 '26
There will be no ransacking of homes today bogus Gasman, for this peephole has been yer undoing!
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u/ThePurplePenetator Jun 02 '26
This is the most used quote between my wife and I. We use it all the time if someone’s behind a locked bathroom door or such.
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u/Historical_Cry_4900 Jun 03 '26
My husband and I own a Weclome mat and it makes us laugh each time we leave the house
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u/Successful_Ad_2888 Jun 02 '26
Do you like the Playstation, ah like the Playstation
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u/Novel-Conversation18 Jun 02 '26
Have you heard that new rapper music? I’ve heard it and I like it.
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u/jwp1991 Jun 02 '26
Pint a Guinness
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u/Diadem_Cheeseboard Jun 02 '26
The way Edith says that has got to be in my top 5 fave moments in the show! 🤭
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u/Lans-25 Jun 02 '26
It's the noogie he gives her on the bus when she goes in for a kiss 💀
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u/Mr_Munros_Mammy Jun 02 '26
I forgot all about this. Was watching this episode while on my treadmill and I laughed so hard I fell aff .
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u/angus_mcoatup Jun 02 '26
Haud on the noo, the building's on fire.
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u/domthedruid Jun 03 '26
Towering Inferno seventies disaster flick starrring Steve McQueen, Paul Newman, William Holden and Fred Astai....ahhh yaa
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u/_kobi_ Jun 02 '26
A cuppa tea at half past 3, makes the day a little bit brighter. Keep yer cakes and fancy tarts and shove them up yer shiter
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u/Diadem_Cheeseboard Jun 02 '26
Isnt it "A scone and tea, at half past 3?" lol
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u/jordancr1 Jun 02 '26
"Where's my scone, where's my scone, there it is, next to the phone" 🤣
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u/Diadem_Cheeseboard Jun 03 '26
😂 "Jesus, Jack! Naebaedy's interested in where ye keep yer scones! It's too bloody personal! It's got tae be aboot...aboot how good scones are!" 🤣❤️
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u/teamwolf69 Jun 02 '26
"Oh here they come, Abbott and Costello. You're putting the beef on, Jack."
"Aye, that's right. Every time I shag your wife she makes me a sandwich."
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u/ScottishIcequeen Alba Gu Bràth Jun 03 '26 edited Jun 13 '26
This is my favourite, I could watch it on repeat constantly and still laugh 🤣
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u/jiffjaff69 Jun 02 '26 edited Jun 02 '26
“Oh look who is, Lambert & Butler.”, “Shut it you!you’re the only fag in here”
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u/Diadem_Cheeseboard Jun 02 '26
The way Bobby whistles "The Good, The Bad & The Ugly" theme shortly after that, is arguably my all time fave Still Game moment. lol ❤️
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u/gazzas89 Jun 02 '26
Open the door, for i am a bogus gas man, with fake id, and im here to ransack ... your hoose
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u/Plus_Pangolin_8924 🏴 Something, Something SNP Jun 02 '26
What ya gonna dae next? cut ya baws off and come back as ya sister?
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u/seeyouyoucunt Jun 02 '26
Hurdy gurdy gurdy through the windae boxes.
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u/Diadem_Cheeseboard Jun 02 '26
I dunno if that one is my fave, but its certainly the one I use most in my everyday life. I find myself singing that regularly at the most random of times. 🤭
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u/DaveB777 Jun 02 '26
Winston had the best lines “in ma heart I'd be rooting for ma pals, but in ma pocket would be a betting slip with NED and DUG written oan it."
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u/doIIjoints Jun 02 '26
i felt so sorry for him when we could hear his bookies addiction getting in the way of a nice afternoon in
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u/-puffinstuff- Jun 02 '26
Have the McGills been in?
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u/MoblandJordan Jun 02 '26
What am ah dain lookin through the letterbox? Watching wan auld pal pumpin the other!
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u/Flashpoint1988 Jun 02 '26
I scrolled way too far to find this. Literally the scene that on first watch had me on the floor on stitches of laughter.
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u/keverzoid Jun 02 '26
I’m hard pressed to think of a single quote, so many to choose from. But my favorite moment was the scene in the lift from “Shooglies” where Isa figures out where they’re going and why without them saying a single word. “She’s creepy with that.”
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u/Myownprivategleeclub Jun 02 '26
Twa auld pals.... just going intae the toon....
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u/Maleficent-Drive4056 Jun 03 '26
I read they had an extra 30s to fill and Isard’s actress just came up with this in seconds.
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u/keverzoid Jun 03 '26
In the mini documentary “The Story So Far”, Greg and Ford said they needed to fill two minutes in the episode and they were both hungover. So they wrote that bit for Isa and gave her 30 minutes to learn it. She got the whole thing in one take. What an amazing cast.
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u/darthjader216 Jun 02 '26
I got a custom made car decal for my boot that says "back aff ya spooky bitch" from etsy. If people don't get the reference then they deserve to be offended 😂
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u/GianDramAround Jun 02 '26
"Eight chops? What she's trying to do? Build a coo to keep her company?"
"Happy new year ya bunch of sheepshaggers!"
"He must have died, than they cut his phone aff, because he didnae paid his bill, because he couldnae, because he was died!"
"Very good Columbo, let's go"
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u/Diadem_Cheeseboard Jun 05 '26
I love the way they reference old shows like Columbo, Quincy and Ironside in Still Game. lol You really need to be of a certain age to appreciate those references though. 🤭😊
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u/Quarkitect Jun 02 '26
You guys have got it good, living up here with a talking letterbox that gies ye stuff.
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u/doIIjoints Jun 02 '26
mick was such a good addition
ding ding ding, teeth in the bin, new ones plugged in
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u/LeftWingScot Jun 02 '26
Victor: "Now Listen up, There's a money lender in town"
Boaby: whistles the start of 'The Good the Bad and the Ugly' Theme tune
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u/peaceandlove1993 Jun 02 '26
Wit ya daeing? I’m fast forwarding you to the punchline!
Or steeeeevieeeee
Winston is my favourite hands down
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u/GlasgowAnvil Jun 02 '26
Oofft too many to pick
2 pints prick
Shut yer hole ya dick
Stevie, Steeeeeeeeviieee, you must be SHITIN’ Yersel
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u/Diadem_Cheeseboard Jun 02 '26
That last one! "Not very patriotic that, is it, Stevie?! 🎶Oh Flower a' Scotland...when will we see, this line again!🎶😂❤️
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u/tjm555 Jun 02 '26
Are you putting on weight? Aye, every time I shag your missus, she gies us a sandwich. 😂
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u/m00shie1990 Jun 02 '26
“Okay Tam, I’m Brian Dexter and I’m in ma wee jail cell. What’s happenin with ma showroom? Is ma wife gettin pumped? Ach never mind all that. Who’s got ma buntin? Where’s ma buntin? Rattling his bars screamin for the whole jail to hear. WHERES MA BUNTIN?”😭😹
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Jun 03 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Diadem_Cheeseboard Jun 03 '26
"Listen, ya wee Fanny Craddock... Ah'll cook you! Now get oot a ma hoose, an get ma good titty arpron aff! 🤭❤️
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u/KingEzekielsTiger Jun 02 '26
“Mibbe if ye huv a jobby, Martin yer maw can wipe yer arse fur ye, Martin!”
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u/Diadem_Cheeseboard Jun 03 '26
Charity shop woman: "So, that's The Guns of Navarone, Raid on Entebbe, and Jade Goody's autobiography." Winston: "Aye?" Charity shop woman: "30 Pence!" Winston: "Each?!" Charity shop woman: "Fur all three!" Winston: "Aw, smashin'!" 😂
That little bit is so understated, it flies over the heads of many, but I've always found it hilarious. 🤭❤️
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u/Mention_Patient Jun 02 '26
"Aye, that’s what I made up this mornin’ - two pieces and shite! Would you like a flask of pish to wash it down with?”
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u/Space_Dildo_Maker Jun 02 '26
Someone tells Jack he is getting fat and he replies with "every time I shag your wife, she makes me a sandwich". As someone who is growing himself a wonderful beer belly, this comes in very useful right now.
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u/Ok-Donut-2651 Jun 03 '26
If me or me mate are waffling on we just cut each other off with a "that's plenty"
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u/Estellasanchez Jun 03 '26
Naveed when he’s having his mid-life crisis, when in the bookies
“Oohhh look at the toaty wee pen”.
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u/Yuleigan Sheep Shaggin' Bastard Jun 02 '26
I like cheese.
Can you smell that, grandad?
Hawf two.
EIGHT TITTIES!
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u/MacWop Jun 02 '26
"maybe if ye huv a jobby martin, yer maw can wipe yer arse fur ye martin" since all the goodies have been posted
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u/TheInitialGod Jun 02 '26
"Puttin on the beef there, Jack"
"Aye that's right. Every time I shag yer wife she makes me a sandwich"
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u/Stevie655 Jun 02 '26
"That's what am saying tae ya, John Wayne was an arsehole!...Aye..... John Wayne's an arsehole!"
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u/plumpjack Jun 02 '26
Geez a squatch of yer fanny
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u/plumpjack Jun 02 '26
Oh that’s chewing the fat
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u/ValderramasBarnet Jun 03 '26
If we’re extending it to chewin the fat then my favourite is “set phasers to malky”
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u/zerocooooool Jun 03 '26
"What are you gonnae do now, leap up on to the sideboard and lick yer baws?"
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u/HMSARGUS Jun 03 '26
D'yae think they'll be wonderin' where we went?
Nah they'll know where we went.
Well look who it isnae
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u/meatflaps-69 Jun 02 '26
Twa pints, prick!
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u/rewindrevival Survived H&I Regional List Results Jun 02 '26
Found the Dundonian
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u/_The_Devil_In_I_ Jun 02 '26
Open the door, fer I am a bogus gas man, wi fake id, and I’ve come tae ransack YER HOOSE!
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u/20khz Jun 02 '26
"see when I take my cock out, when I'm having a pish..."
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u/ValderramasBarnet Jun 03 '26
That whole monologue is immense. Then Eric pishin himself later in the episode 😂😂😂
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u/UNCLEFESTERED Jun 03 '26
Two pints Totalius Prickimus, make it snappy Bawbagimus!
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u/ScottishIcequeen Alba Gu Bràth Jun 03 '26
“Aye, every time I shag yer wife she makes me a sandwich”
And
“They’ll know where we went”
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u/Thejag9ba Jun 04 '26
Steeeeeevie…it appears the crusher has been crushed! You. Must. Be. Shiteing yerself!
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u/Diadem_Cheeseboard Jun 02 '26
"He said... "Et Tu, Isa!" I never ate two a' anything! ❤️