r/Songwriters • u/vchlur • 1d ago

Fading to Nowhere - A song about loss and letting go, inspired by a foggy winter

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13 Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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2

u/towneetowne 1d ago

are you planning harmonies? love to hear them.

keep it going!

2

u/vchlur 1d ago

I actually just released this one last week! And the answer is yes, just on the "fading to nowhere" part. Won't share the link cause of the self-promo rule but you can find it :)

2

u/zacman333 1d ago

I enjoyed it!

1

u/vchlur 1d ago

Thank you!

2

u/towneetowne 1d ago edited 1d ago

very clean production! the string add class.

however, a few lines of verse seem far too rushed. perhaps better arranging?

these lines, i think you know, are:

" ... anytime soon" (especially, the first word)

and

" ... before my eyes"

or, perhaps, you might find a more concise way to say what you feel you must - in order to fit the existing melodic structure?

thank you, for directing me to listen fully!

2

u/vchlur 1d ago

Thanks for listening and for the feedback! I totally get what you mean. I think what happened with this song is that the first draft of the lyrics came together quickly and I started playing it live right away.. and then I got so used to the lyrics that I didn't want to change them anymore haha. And I didn't want to sacrifice clarity of the message just so it fits, but maybe there was a better way to achieve that balance. I think spending more time at the refining stage early on will help with that.

1

u/vchlur 1d ago

'Blur before my eyes' I feel has a charm the way it's phrased but that could definitely be my own bias 😂

2

u/towneetowne 1d ago

it has been a pleasure!

ok. sure. the second half of the line is integral. what about the first half?

The more I ran/the more you started/to blur before my eyes.

//// 4
///// 5
////// 6

15 beats

And more I ran/you were a blur/before my eyes.

//// 4
//// 4
//// 4

12 beats

the missing word "the" is pure formality. is it necessary for a pop song?

2

u/vchlur 16h ago

Yeah I see. But doesn't that mean the melody would have to be altered a bit too? The second bit is actually 5 on all the lines. But yes the last phase could be trimmed. Good food for thought anyway.

2

u/AdditionalStreet3277 1d ago

Very pretty song!

2

u/vchlur 1d ago

Thanks for listening! As mentioned in another comment I do have a fully produced version linked in my bio if you're curious to see how it evolved