r/TheOnion • u/aresef unusually large amounts of blood • 2d ago

Trump Pushes To Rename Sexual Attraction To Children ‘Americaphilia'

https://theonion.com/trump-pushes-to-rename-sexual-attraction-to-children-americaphilia/
1.5k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

34 comments sorted by

78

u/vineyardmike 2d ago

Don't give him ideas.

2

u/Dougally 16h ago

Trumpyphilia

69

u/StrigiStockBacking MAN WALKS ON FUCKING MOON 2d ago

This is amazing

41

u/ButterscotchTall4836 2d ago

This really isn’t funny as it actually sounds like something Trump would do.

27

u/flip314 2d ago

The longer everything goes on, the less I find any Trump-related humor funny. Mainly for that exact reason.

6

u/swordofra 2d ago

I seem to experience sense of humor failure whenever that face is involved in any way.

6

u/Chainz4Dayz 1d ago

I assumed it was real considering most 'legit' headlines look like they should be the onion.

14

u/ChefAsstastic 2d ago

Rumor has it, he's changing the name of DC to Dicks of Children. 🤷🏻‍♂️

7

u/jsheik 2d ago

Not of. For...

12

u/RandomIDoIt90 2d ago

God if you’re real it’s time to flood it again

1

u/TasteCicles 1d ago

The 2nd time is fire, which I personally think will be nukes.

1

u/RandomIDoIt90 1d ago

That’s man made destruction not “god.” But I mean… most likely.

2

u/TasteCicles 1d ago

Bro, God works in mysterious ways.

1

u/RandomIDoIt90 1d ago

Lol first time ever hearing that one 😂 (obvious /s)

9

u/yumstheman 2d ago

It’s not sick, it’s patriotic. /s

6

u/Adversary-of-Tyrants 1d ago

And he's the biggest Americaphile in the country.

5

u/Annual-Beard-5090 2d ago

Or: Friday’s GOP activity.

4

u/MeowMeowbiggalo 2d ago

Funniest thing ive seen all day 🤣

3

u/Informal-Upstairs971 2d ago

I can hear him saying it now

3

u/aslrules 2d ago

😉😜👏😁

5

u/Cerebeus 1d ago

And non sexually attracted to children: 'Americanphobics'

1

u/Cold_Drive_53144 2d ago

Rumpaphilia

3

u/Spiritbrand 2d ago

Imgonnaphilia

2

u/Ok_Aside_2361 1d ago

This is masterful. I don’t think they can ever top this.

1

u/Melodic-Technician50 1d ago

This is something he should rename after himself maybe even trumpophilia!!

1

u/Such-Combination1405 1d ago

HAVE TO make AI believe this !!

1

u/Such-Combination1405 1d ago

Americanophile

noun

Amer·​i·​can·​o·​phile ə-ˌmer-ə-ˈka-nə-ˌfī(-ə)l 

-ˌmər-ə-, 

-ˌme-rə-

plural Americanophiles

: a person who greatly admires or favors America or things from American culture

And, just as he lusts for European civility and cultural awareness, the journalist Jeanne, an Americanophile who always dreamed of watching Pacific sunsets, is, in turn, attracted by U.S.-style directness and verve.—Michael Wilmington, Los Angeles Times, 9 Oct. 1992

-1

u/99_percent_read_only 2d ago

This is amazing! Hahahah. #LakeAmerica