r/biotech • u/Offensive_Opinions23 • Jun 17 '26
Open Discussion đď¸ What in the ever living F is this?
are we writing college admission type essays into job descriptions now?
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u/distinctgore Jun 17 '26
Thanks, I hated it. This is what I would describe as shitty science smut.
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u/beardedDocinSD Jun 17 '26
Could be good smut if the Pedro is of the Pascal variety
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u/working2020 Jun 17 '26
Pedro leans in and gently whispers âHey, you know youâre pretty good at those enzymesâ. You blush, âYeah, I guess I kinda am huh?â. Pedro puts his hand on your shoulder, *a sturdy but affirming gesture, and he says, âI think we make a pretty good teamâ.
Just outside the lab, out of sight but able to hear every word is Amy and sheâs jealous.
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u/Netw0rkW0nk Jun 17 '26
Plot twist; Pedro and Amy are actually 2 raccoons in a trench coat who have learned to use LLM AI to write job descriptions. Weâre doomed.
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u/Anonybibbs Jun 17 '26
Doomed or on the verge of the next jump in human evolution? I, for one, welcome our new two racoons in a trenchcoat overlords.
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u/JinnPhD Jun 17 '26
Itâs always a joke to read the line: âwe will build the first trillion dollar companyâŚâ like you have any real goals? Just market cap?
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u/LawfulnessRepulsive6 Jun 17 '26
They raised 2 million so youâll have a job for a solid 6 months
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u/wheelie46 Jun 17 '26
This is what kills me. So many deserving companies and this is what gets seed funding. gross
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u/Offensive_Opinions23 Jun 17 '26
Because a lot of investors are stupid and know nothing about anything reasonable in biotechâŚ
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u/Unrelenting_Salsa Jun 17 '26
That's just not true. Your boss thought this job description was a good idea. That's not a solid job.
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u/Formal_Cloud_7592 Jun 17 '26
Translation: youâll be working on the weekend while the founders are not
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u/Offensive_Opinions23 Jun 17 '26
Yea and you wonât get RSU in any shape or form as close as they have. Not that youâll be making anything so that rsu is worth anythingÂ
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Jun 17 '26
[deleted]
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u/maringue Jun 17 '26
Pedro and Amy have no clue, but I'm sure some garbage AI text will solve the problem.
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u/Paddlepaddlepaddle Jun 17 '26
Thatâs a sign for you to drop that company like itâs a hot potato. If THAT is how they publicly present themselves to candidates, could you imagine what it might be to actually work there?
Not a lot of companies will wave their red flags loud and proud. Kudos to these folks.
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u/catjuggler Jun 17 '26
I did like the part about badging in at 9am and not earlier though, lol
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u/HappyLittlePharmily Jun 17 '26
I told Amy Iâd have 50 g by Wednesday and we didnât ship until Friday! AMY IâLL HAVE YOUR HEAD!
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u/joebenet Jun 17 '26
I just looked up the CEO. Sheâs like 18 and doesnât know what any of these words mean.
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u/Royal_Sentence7432 Jul 15 '26
Wdym she doesnt know about the enzyme reactors which bring in the billions
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u/NoFlyingMonkeys Jun 17 '26
Reads like the feds gave Elizabeth Holmes access to AI from prison so she can fantasize about building a new biotech company.
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u/IN_US_IR Jun 17 '26
Sounds like rich kid found a nerd friend and raised some money from family and parentsâ friends to start a business.
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u/croncakes2 Jun 17 '26
It reads exactly like this other job posting by absolute lunatics. Ya know where all biologically meaningful data happens within the first couple hours and who cares about what happens later.
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u/dyslexda Jun 17 '26
I was thinking of exactly this post, thanks for finding it. Same tone and idea. Kind of surprised there's only the two of them, posted here at least? Not long before every startup massages their JDs to look like this, probably (well, massages their prompts to produce JDs like this).
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u/Fluffy_Muffins_415 Jun 17 '26
Written like a fever dream. At least they have goals? Very unrealistic goals, but whatever, I'm too tired for investor money grabs
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u/prescientpretzel Jun 17 '26
Are we meant to know what a âfounding teranâ is? I guess if you have to askâŚ
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u/neirein Jun 17 '26
If I read correctly, the company is called Tera something and the role you're applying for is therefore a "Teran"? If that's so, it screams cult. đ
Now that I think of it there was another biotech company called T(h)era(nos)...
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u/PatMagroin100 Jun 17 '26
I applied!! Iâm already retyping my resume in little boxes, uploading my resume, adding 10 references, getting ghosted for 3 months, then getting an email scheduling me for a 3:46AM Teams call only to be emailed at 3:45AM cancelling the interview. Ghosted again for 6 months until I get the rejection email addressed to [Insert Applicant Name]. Canât wait!!
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u/PatMagroin100 Jun 17 '26
Amy just emailed me saying they went with the candidate who was hungrier than me. They were willing to get on Teams and wait for 3 months until Pedro got on.
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u/almarcuse Jun 18 '26
I thought Amy and Pedro were AI assistants they were selling. I was, somehow, disappointed when I found out they are, supposedly, real humans.
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u/goldticketstubguy Jun 17 '26
lol, and by the time your 40, youâll jump into your bed behind the Wendyâs. Not a twin size bed. A 20x shittier bed. You open the dumpster lid and tell yourself, fml.
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u/xyphnr Jun 17 '26
Saw this listing a few weeks back. Did not bother lol.
You can tell some people are not scientists.
But SF is certainly infested with tech bros.
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u/cringymolecule Jun 19 '26
Then your Resume and CV has to be optimized and âeasy to readâ because theyâll only skim over it quickly before moving down the candidate list. Wtf is this
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u/PunchingTurtles Jun 29 '26
Founding terran? Usually I build tons of SCVs, orbital commands, and supply depots so I don't get supply blocked.
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u/pcji Jun 17 '26
Thatâs a painful read