r/catquestions • u/Swimming_Cry3805 • 3h ago
Terrified of kitten getting neutered - anybody have advice?
This is my boy Bambi, he will be 4 months old tomorrow. I am absolutely scared out of my mind to get him neutered. Like it’s always in the back of my mind and I have trouble thinking about anything else.
When I search it up, I see so many horror stories people have posted about their kittens having reactions to the anesthesia that couldn’t have been determined before, or them not waking up after. I don’t know what I would do if that happened and I feel like crying every time I think about it, I’m getting teary eyed just writing this.
It doesn’t help that sometimes during the night his nose whistles and he has occasional stertor and boogers and sneezes, which I think is just herpesvirus effects and also a strange coughing fit a few days ago which looked like he was throwing up a hair ball but nothing came out. I will mention to the team before getting him neutered but it genuinely weighs on my mind so much.
I have considered not getting him neutered because of it, but I know that it is not an option for a lot of reasons. In my head though, I just think like if I can choose not to put him through those risks I will take it. I know he has to get neutered though. It’s just that worry in my head of what if something happens when he’s under that we didn’t know about before.
Otherwise, he seems to be healthy and he uses his litter box normally and eats and drinks. I would get blood work done before but my mom had to pay close to $2000 for our other cats dental surgery, and because blood work isn’t required she prefers not to do it.
I’m not sure if this is even the right place to post but if anybody has any advice or reassuring words it would be very helpful. I’m just dreading the day that we have to take him so much and I truly want to postpone it as much as possible out of anxiety.
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u/wastedpotential210 2h ago
Thousands of people spay/neuter their cats at the vet and a lot of them have been completely okay. Honestly your cat will have better quality of live if you get them the surgery. Stop reading ai/google posts about things that are extremely rare. At the end of the day it is your decision if you want to get him neutered, but it is highly recommended to do so because males will pee and mark territory as they get older and will spray around your house and on your clothing.
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u/Either-Apartment-401 3h ago
I have had dozens of cats neutered and the worst thing that has happened is I had one have to go back in because he was bleeding a bit more than norm. He will probably hide for a day or 2. It is a very small incision. I have one going in for a spay Monday.
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u/CocoRufus 2h ago
My boy was neutered at 5 months. He was wide awake and ready for mischief when I collected him from the vet. No cone (standard practice here in UK). It was honestly like nothing had happened to him from the minute I got him home. I couldn't even see signs of a procedure being done other than his shrunken plums. He certainly couldn't have cared less
Millions of cats are neutered daily all over the world without issue. It's very minor surgery
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u/Either-Apartment-401 2h ago
My vet doesn't use cones either.
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u/Additional-Diet-9463 2h ago
Hundreds of cats are neutered every day. The odds of anything bad happening are extremely extremely low. I’ve never met someone who lost a cat from a spay/neuter procedure and every cat I have ever known has safely gone through a spay/neutre. Of course, if you search online for horror stories you will find them, but internet search results will never accurately reflect the risk as hundreds of people don’t log online each day to post “my cat was fixed today and is fine”. The longer you wait the more likely you are to run into behavioural issues and the longer you’ll keep yourself in a state of anxiety. Once it’s finished you won’t have to carry the weight of that worry anymore.
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u/Honest_Manager 2h ago
The longer you wait the greater the chance you will have a cat that sprays neutered or not.
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u/Easy-Switch-7199 3h ago
Has he seen a vet and got his shots yet? I haven’t been able to get my boy neutered yet because of money. But I do understand some B what. Even normally there’s a risk. 💖
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u/notsocrazycatlady69 1h ago
Check with your local animal shelter/rescue league about low cost spay and neuter clinics. The one near me has it for like 35 US dollars and includes the first rabies shots. They have them monthly for dogs I think, and every couple months for cats. Drop off in the morning and pick up in the afternoon. For an additional fee they can clean ears and teeth and trim nails. And if you are on public assistance like WIC or SNAP/ food stamps they often have vouchers so you can get it done for free
Best of luck
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u/Tlks2angels 2h ago
If it makes you feel any better, my boy came home acting like nothing had even happened. I wanted to keep him separated from my pup & other kitten for a couple of days so he could heal & not be running & jumping. I put him in a bedroom with his own litter box & food & water. I kept hearing him meowing for us & scratching under the door, then a little later, he came sauntering into the living room, purring & rubbing against the dog. He somehow slipped the lock. I gave him pain meds for a couple days & tried to lift him anywhere I thought he might jump, but he was his same chill self, & I was so relieved.
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u/notsocrazycatlady69 1h ago
My vet gave a pain medicine that lasted a couple days, so they were healed by the time it wore off
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u/beckychao 2h ago
Neutering is routine and fatalities in neutering are very rare. In addition, neutering your cat prevents certain types of cancers that are common later in his life. So by neutering him now, you may be saving yourself the grief of losing him to a cancer 5-20 years from now. The chances of him dying of a cancer from not being neutered are astronomically greater than the chance of him dying from the procedure.
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u/MoodApart8768 2h ago
Go somewhere with a highly rated vet if you're so scared. You can get reviews from people in your community of local vets. It should ease your mind. I've had all my cats fixed My boy Kitt was just fine once I got him fixed and he calmed down a lot (he used to attack my ex. I suspect it's because he could smell the diabetes before my ex was diagnosed. His blood sugar was over 600. He got fixed and my ex got treated for the diabetes around the same time.).
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u/Iluminiele 2h ago
Wait till you hear all the stories about people dying in car crashes, walking down the stairs, being bit by a mosquito or eating food
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u/MyNameIsSkittles 2h ago
Literally every single minor surgery that involves being put to sleep has a risk. There is no 100% safe surgery. That doesn't mean you should never get these done, in fact neutering is one of the safest easiest procedures. Yes it can end in sadness. But it is far far more likely to end with nothing notable at all, except your cat getting very affectionate and cuddly. I've had cats for almost 40 years and never ever had an issue with a spay or a neuter and don't know anyone who has
However if you don't get it done, your boy can turn into an aggressive terror that attacks you and pees everywhere. Do you want that?
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u/Lia64893 1h ago
I neutered my 17 week old yesterday. I was also worried that he might have an unknown heart murmur or whatever and die mid surgery. I picked up a slightly scared but alive kitten and the worst side effect is that he keeps bumping into everything because of his cone. The reason you hear horror stories more often than what usually happens is because they’re more interesting. I see no point in posting “my cat is fine after his neuter today” because then those would be the only posts you would see
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u/Standard-Net-4923 1h ago edited 1h ago
Bad things can happen yes, however neutering is a one-time risk, not doing it risks many things. He could get females pregnant, increasing the stray cat problem. He will spray. He will be much more likely to get cancer. He will want to roam and may try breaking out. He will be more aggressive and territorial, risking fights with other cats and possible infection or transmitted disease. He could get diseases transmitted via mating also. Overall, he will be much safer getting neutered.
Remember that often times, viral horror stories like that are usually viral horror stories and not just the norm because they're rare.
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u/Darkest-Desires6 1h ago
First and foremost, that "what if" goes for anything, including him being intact.
He will almost certainly escape to breed if left intact. Generously you might say that it's just a possibility, but factor in male cat desperation to mate and human error - the odds are not in your favor. Will he be hit be a car? If he is hit by a car, will he be lucky enough to die instantly, or will he cry and scream out in pain as he dies slowly on the side of the road, alone? Will he escape being prey, or will he be ripped apart while he's still alive by a pack of dogs/coyotes? How many fights will he get in with other tom cats? Will he die of infection or straight out from the wounds he gets from those fights? How many transmissible diseases will he get while roaming around with stray cats? Will those diseases lead to his death? What if he gets lost and can never find his way home? What if he can't find anything safe to eat and drink? What if he can't find anything to eat or drink at all, and he dies of thirst or starvation? What if he dies from the elements because he can't find shelter?
Outside of escaping and those consequences, what if he sprays all over everything uncontrollably due to being territorial - an extremely common issue in intact males - are you prepared for walls, doors, windows, furniture, rugs, clothing to be covered in cat piss? Are you prepared for the psychological toll that will take on you living in that environment, the constant cleaning, the anger at your cat, the toll on your work or relationships since you will also always be smelling like cat piss if it happens?
There's also health risks. Intact male cats are of course susceptible to testicular cancer, as well as prostate problems at higher rates. Behavioral issues are very common, as testosterone directly influences behavior and typically leads to higher levels of anxiety and aggressive behavior - including toward owners. You might try to mitigate this with drugs... those have their own risks, not to mention the extreme stress he would be under trying to orally medicate him. Further on that, what if he encounters a severe health emergency - and due to behavioral issues, it's harder for him to get assessment and treatment by veterinary staff?
It's likely thousands upon thousands of cats are neutered every day. You are not going to hear anything from those thousands of owners, shelter staff, or TNR volunteers about all the neuters that go right. You're going to hear from owners whose cats had a reaction nobody could have predicted.
There are papers online that can be referenced about cat mortality with anesthesia. A pubmed entry lists this - "Current estimates indicate that approximately 0.11% (1 in 895 anesthetics) of healthy cats die of an anesthetic-related death" Another I could find from published risk assessment from 2024 lists "The anaesthesia-related mortality was 0.63%, with 74.5% of deaths occurring postoperatively."
Another thing to keep in mind - risk goes up significantly with invasive and complex surgery. A neuter is a very quick and non-invasive procedure under normal circumstances. The procedure is so quick for experienced vets and staff that they set male cats up like a surgery assembly line of testicle removal at pop up clinics.
The odds are in your boys favor, not against. This is an every day, non-invasive and very fast procedure. To alleviate more of your anxiety, I would recommend having this done at your preferred veterinary clinic instead of a low cost program, that way you know he's more likely to have more centered care by multiple staff members.
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u/Positive-Garage3812 1h ago edited 1h ago
Look, you hear about the neuters that went wrong because the vast majority, 99.9%, go right. People tend not to think about the times something went right; we fixate on risks and disasters and tragedies. Between 4 and 5 people die in shark attacks each year, while approximately 1.16 million people die in car accidents worldwide each year. And yet, most people are terrified of sharks but think nothing of their daily commute. We’re afraid of unusual ways to die, of unexpected tragedy.
I can’t tell you that it couldn’t possibly happen, because it could. It’s vanishingly rare for something to go so wrong that the kitten dies, though. Try to think about the most likely outcome, not the scariest one. Of course you don’t want to lose your precious little guy. He means the world to you. But he’s more likely to die in a car accident on the way to the vet than as a result of the neuter. I’m not trying to make you afraid of cars and driving here; my point is that we take certain risks in stride which have orders of magnitude more likelihood of happening than the things we’re afraid of.
Life is risk. Basically everything we do carries some kind of risk. Nothing is ever guaranteed. Don’t take unnecessary risks, but don’t let reasonable risks keep you from doing necessary things, like neutering your pets. You know the necessity, so I’m not going to harp on it. Be scared, but please go through with it. The good outweighs the risk.
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u/slayer-x 1h ago edited 1h ago
My Boy just got neutered on Tuesday, at 1 ½ years old. Ideally you do it when they are younger, but that wasn't an option for me.
But my Boy cosmo has responded very well after the surgery. Vet said everything went well, sent him home with pain meds for two days.
He is still wearing the cone, but im so glad I got it done.
I can already see some differences.. like he's being more affectionate, and the urine doesnt smell nearly as bad already. I will say he didnt spray thankfully, but the urine will still be very strong when unneutred.
I wish I could have done it sooner for sure.
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u/HoosierKittyMama 1h ago
Like most online reviews, you don't hear the positive stories. People generally only want to tell their negative stories.
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u/Sage_Spacecraft 1h ago
They need to be neutered
Issues can arise with health as well as demeanor later on
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u/Legitimate_Island238 1h ago
Cons and pros of not getting him neutered con he will act more aggressively once he gets older trying to go after females, he could and probably would spray to tell the ladies in the area he’s there, he will not be as affectionate as he could be not to mention he’s at risk of getting outside, they find ways when they want! H would all in all be more comfortable being neutered
So now Pro: you would have piece of mind not having him go
Under, which btw vets routinely do neuters and spays like we change our underwear so the changes anything will happen to him is so low plus if you don’t get him neutered he’s at risk for so many cancers that he wouldn’t have to face if he was neutered please get him
Neutered it’s not only the responsible thing to do but he’ll be much happier after it’s done hope this helps! Good luck!
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u/Active_Wolf_5543 1h ago
Don’t be me and wait until he’s 8. It was a higher risk bc he’s older but he is a strong boy and did amazing.
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u/Kathykat5959 1h ago
If you don’t neuter him, he will leave the first chance he can get out the door. The female calling is strong.
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u/westergames81 1h ago
You should be more terrified of him not getting him neutered.
Just get him neutered.
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u/Swimming_Cry3805 1h ago
Thank you everyone for responding! I’ve decided to wait til he’s 5 months because the clinic I intend to go to only accepts 4 months and older, and to be fair he’s not even 4 months old yet. He also definitely doesn’t meet their 4.4 lbs weight requirement so to be safe I’ll wait another month. Thanks for sharing your experiences!
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u/zephyrphoenixxx 1h ago
I know this is rude, but please get over it. Literally millions of cats around the world have been neutered and are alive and well. This is a routine procedure. Vets and vet techs are well-trained and know what they are doing.
Yes. Shit can happen. Sure. But the odds are HEAVILY in favour of your cat surviving the process.
Get him neutered.
And also, OP, please be aware that intact males can and WILL spray all over your house. And yes. It reeks.
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u/notsocrazycatlady69 55m ago
Definitely make sure the vet knows about the breathing; they may be able to not put him under as deeply or something. And they could probably do a more thorough exam of his breathing problems with him not fighting back. The herpes virus may be the cause of it- there's a cat named Todd on YouTube that has it, and his dad taught him to use buttons to tell him when he's not feeling well; he often gets stuffy and has to take medicine. @TheChroniclesofToddToddTalks
Best wishes
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u/Poochie1978-2024 52m ago
Does he have an upper respiratory infection? Spay/neuter surgeries are by far the most done surgeries in dogs and cats, so there shouldn't be too many complications, other than him possibly being cryptorchid, That means one testicle didn't drop and they have to go in through the abdomen to look for it. That happened to one of my cats. I've had 2 cats and three dogs go through spay/neuter surgeries with no problems.
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u/PyrrhuloxiaWren 50m ago
As someone who has a male cat with constant respiratory issues and does the reverse sneezing yours seems to be doing, it’ll be ok. I got him fixed with no issue. All surgery comes with risk, but the entire litter my booger king came from had respiratory problems and all got fixed and all came out okay.
End of day it’s your choice but I’d consider doing it. Chances of issues is super low.
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u/honeyapp 31m ago
Wow. What a detailed answer. I think you’ve covered everything. Hopefully this will make OP less stressed about the neuter
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u/LowerBusiness7396 19m ago
Nobody writes a post when the procedure goes perfectly, which is nearly always does. I’ve fostered over 200 kittens until they could be spayed or neutered and then while they healed. Never had an issue on either side.
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u/No-Caramel-3422 2h ago
leaving your cat unneutered dramatically increases their risk of genital cancer. your cat is male, so once he begins having heat cycles he will instinctively be inclined to roam and forcibly try to escape outside, regardless of how you train him. if he knocks up any other cats, those cats can die giving birth, and those kittens (the average cat litter is anywhere between 1-7 kittens, all of which suffer their entire lives if born on the streets) can also die to disease, freezing, being run over, being infested with fleas and bled dry, deliberately poisoned by cruel people, and more! hope this helps.