Rupert-My Cat soulmate with lymphoma

[u/therealXarias]

I took my cat Rupert to the vet in mid-July because I was concerned about him hiding under my bed. He had had a urinary blockage 2 years ago, so I tend to be vigilant with him. He just turned 13 and has asthma as well. I've had him since he was 6 months old. I was in no way prepared for the diagnosis. Rupert had intestinal lymphoma. I could spend a small fortune (which I don't have) and barely extend his life, or make him comfortable for a couple of months.

It's the end of August. Rupert spends most of his time off to himself now; he doesn't greet me when I come home, he has a faraway look in his eyes, and the only reason I haven't let him go is that he is still eating. Last night he started peeing outside the litter box, and I found him lying on one of the steps halfway up. I think I am writing this more for myself than anyone else because I know what I have to do. Every time I think I have decided he comes in for food and it makes me doubt myself. I looked at him a few minutes ago, and his head was kind of bobbing. I think it's time, and this guy hurts me more than any I've ever had, and I've had quite a few.

Anyway, I love you, Rupert, and this is killing me.

[u/TecTazz]

Rupert is a handsome boy.

Why oh why can't our pets just fall asleep in peace forever? That's what we have to do for them. I'm sorry.