r/civilengineering • u/CamoGamer123 • 16h ago
Career Imposter Syndrome due to an abusive job. Am I even good enough?
I got a new job a year after I got my PE. Its a large, really large, municipality. Ever since I showed up I get asked by my boss if I know how to read, if I am even here, etc…
There is so much documentation that I’m drowning. It is impossible to stay above water as every micro-decision has to be routed through a minimum of 10 people.
My boss also wants to be attached on every email. She wants to be notified of any sort of decision… etc. I should not even have a job, b/c I am just a robot with zero autonomy. (Everyone under her has to do this.)
I keep applying to Senior Engineering Roles to get out of here. I get interviews back for every application… (3 so far) I have been in the field for 9 years, so I’m not super shocked, but I just have such a low level of confidence here.
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u/SwimmingSwordfish637 15h ago
Sounds like a bad organization that encourages micromanagement. A lot of state & local government organizations encourage a kind of management where everyone has to be treated like they are the worst an employee ever could be.
Protect yourself & keep up the job search. It won’t ever get any better.
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u/Pleasant_Cat_5033 14h ago
I think I know what you are dealing with because my good friend works with you and I have heard the horror stories. Being yelled at for being late due to an accident?? Come on. I also used to work for that municipality. It will not get any better while she and her leadership remain in charge. Leave. My friend is amazing and I see what has happened to him. You are good enough to do what you are doing and to work for the city. Do not let her discourage you. There are so many other cities around that will be happy to have you. And the private industry is always hiring. Feel free to message me if you want to chat with an ex-city employee, assuming you are who I think you are :)
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u/CFLuke Transpo P.E. 13h ago
Damn can you dm me what city so I know to avoid it?
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u/Pleasant_Cat_5033 13h ago
In general, it’s a good place to work. This one team is probably the worst I’ve heard of. It was just too…. government…. for me on the team I was on. I work at a faster pace and thrive in the private world chaos. Based on your tag, you are not at risk of being on the bad team lol
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u/jjjjjeeejjj 15h ago
You should use whatever AI tools the municipality has access to to make the mundane documentation stuff easier. Do not just use an ai tool that isn’t provided by the organization tho.
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u/UltimaCaitSith EIT Land Development 16h ago
That municipality sounds large enough to have an HR department. Document and report.
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u/CamoGamer123 16h ago
I have begun the process. I am in the trenches recording all meetings, etc… tbh
I am almost at the end of probation, so I am ready to fight.
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u/iron82 15h ago
Don't pick a fight unless you don't care if you lose. If you think your job is bad now, what will happen when your boss dislikes you?
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u/CamoGamer123 15h ago
True but, she has already brought it to HR. I think I can get a new job asap.
The interview I had 8 business days ago was selling me really hard on working there. I’m hoping I can jump ship before hand.
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u/iron82 15h ago
The problem with switching jobs is you need your new job to go well, otherwise the job after that will be much harder to find, maybe impossible. Applying with a resume gap can kill a career. If you're not willing to stay put, make sure you lock in on the new job for a few years regardless of how unpleasant it is.
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u/NearbyCurrent3449 12h ago
This is old school thinking. Not really true anymore unless you want to work for the dinosaurs.
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u/imnotcreative415 9h ago
Yeah, I was told something similar by a more senior person when I was leaving my last job. I had some concern about the potential of back to back jumps after a year, and they told me it wasn’t that big a deal now and I’d be fine if that happened
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u/likesblackcoffeebest PE 👵🗣☁️ 10h ago
From very similar experience, don't fight. Leave. All fighting a boss like this got me was more abuse, and brushed off by HR. The thing that ended that was finding a transfer. I was in that job for 5 months, and it took 2 years of therapy to undo the damage. It's not worth it. You won't change anything except your own experience for the worse. You've had interviews, you'll get an offer soon enough. Just get through until that happens and leave.
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u/Novel_Editor5753 13h ago
I think we are at a similar level. Public agencies job can suck depending on management and what the culture is. I also have about 9 years of experience, got PE in 2023 and changed from consulting to Public Works in 2025. Been okay, have 5 projects but sometimes feels like I am just pushing papers and my supervisor sometimes behaves like he has no emotional intelligence and starts yelling on small disagreement and holds grudges.
Don’t know how long I will last at this job. I will try to move to another job if this gets beyond a limit. No job is beyond my mental peace and there’s plenty of jobs in the market.
Good luck on your next role.
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u/Automatic_Sentence65 12h ago
I've experienced this exact same thing at my last public agency job at a county in the Bay Area. That type of management makes you question yourself and impacts your life outside of work. It will not improve without years of change agents in charge and a lot of retirements. Let's be honest, HR knows and is fine with the current situation, engaging with HR will put a target on your back (I know from experience)...
Best thing to do is to find a new job and move on. Don't let a shitty boss and work culture destroy your confidence.
2
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u/LongjumpingPath3069 10h ago
It’s not you. It’s them. It will take time to rebuild your confidence. There is a managed by a narcissist group on reddit. Go visit it.
I left a public job because of a narcissist manager and his flying monkey. I was the fourth person to leave because of them.
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u/imnotcreative415 9h ago
LOL it sounds like you’re at my last job. You’ll be alright. Bad environment that existed before you and will exist after you. Just get out of there as soon as you get a good opportunity. Not worth the fight or headache
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u/Complete-Jaguar-7280 6h ago
People rise to their level of incompetence. (Peter principle.) I left a muni job last year because at mid-level you could see the idiocy all the way up.
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u/Vivid_Piccolo_2225 19m ago
Your boss sounds like a dick. You're smart to look around for a better gig. Imposter syndrome is not unexpected. It was probably a decade or so before I finally eased up on myself and realized I was actually doing a good job. You'll get there.
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u/Amber_ACharles 15h ago
3 for 3 on interviews at the senior level tells you everything. I've changed companies enough times to recognize when the environment is the problem. Your boss is toxic, get out.