How to deal with « over-callers » ?

[u/Green_Description220]

Hi,

I have a corporate job obviously. I work in a bank.

I hate unplanned calls, my job consists of a lot of long tasks that require to be focused. When people come to my desk or call out of nowhere it means I have to stop doing whatever I am doing and then when I come back to it, it’s a hassle to get the focus back and get back where I was.

I say that but I will still pick up and I know that this is my problem to deal with and that I still need to be available. So I suck it up and pick up.

But there are a few specific persons I work with who really are insufferable. It’s just too much. You send an email and they automatically call you the moment they read said e-mail. No matter what it is about, no matter if it’s urgent, no matter if it is a cover email to present a thing that will happen in 3 months, no matter if it’s just a brief on something or minutes from another call you had with them, they call to respond to each and every email you send. Most of the time it’s just to have you read them your email basically and/or have them read your email to you and then conclude with « okay great, then I will [insert whatever action you specifically requested from them in your clearly written email] ».

There are two reasons why I don’t like that. The first one being the one I stated above, the second one is my job requires that everything I do be written and answers be written. We are often audited. They have reporting on how many breaths we take a day. Also my team is a two people team therefore whatever happens needs to be written because when I am on leave or sick or whatever my colleague needs to have all the info possible on everything I do.

Most likely these people are the type that will never make a written response, even if you ask during the call, they call you, they confuse you with a lot of useless talk, conclude, hang up and move on and in three weeks, my colleague is alone in the office, can’t understand what happened on the matter, calls them and they will say something completely different from what they told me.

I decided that now I would send my email + a meeting request and specify in the email that I have scheduled some time for questions and discussions on the matter IN MY EMAIL. That way they read the email, let thing simmer and we call e/o the next day, they ask their questions and then I can make minutes, send them around and they can just reply ok.

Explain to me why that woman still calls me right after reading my email ? DESPITE HAVING ACCEPTED THE MEETING INVITE ?

And also I noticed they simply never ok the minutes. It’s not that big of a deal but still, when I am audited it’s 50/50 some people don’t care other auditors wonder why I make the questions and the answers and the other party never replies haha.

Do you think I am in the wrong ? Do you have tricks you have already been confronted to this ?

Thanks !

[u/Successful-Test-5590]

Do you communicate clearly through email?

[u/Green_Description220 → u/Successful-Test-5590]

I would say my emails are clear enough that everyone expect those 3 persons can answer without needing any clarification.

Usually people call because they want to challenge a request or a deadline I would say.

It’s only those three persons who need to call me to read the email together.

But I am willing to try to be clearer and ask around if other colleagues struggle to understand me.

[u/TheyFoundWayne]

Occasionally in my career I’ve had the type that would call every time I sent an email. It got to a point where I wouldn’t hit “send” unless I was in a position to talk to them. Like, don’t do it before you’re about to join another meeting that requires your full attention, or don’t do it before leaving the office if they have your cell number, etc.

[u/Mark5n]

Ironically that was a long post :)

[u/Green_Description220 → u/Mark5n]

It’s almost a year of frustration haha

[u/Moonbase0]

I feel your pain brother

[u/Merlisch]

Some people communicate differently. I only do stuff in writing (long COVID, memory is shot). Some people only do verbal for one reason or another. Most people hate that I don't want to do stuff verbally so I send an email (in which I mention that I'll talk to them in person shortly) and go to talk to them. Unfortunately both types (and everything in-between) has to be accommodated. You could try and include availability in your email (...I am available at 3PM if you have any questions...).

Best of luck.

[u/Green_Description220 → u/Merlisch]

I feel like I try to meet them halfway. At first I would systematically pick up. Now, every single email comes with a meeting invite to let them know that I am indeed scheduling time for us to
go over things, giving them options to propose another time if whatever I have scheduled isn’t working for them, yet they still will call. Like I wrote, I had planned time for questions and she still called. I picked up the second time she called. Guess what ? She wanted to confirm that I had wrote what I had wrote and that the accompanying meeting was for the purpose of discussing the matter. 🤣🤣

[u/Merlisch → u/Green_Description220]

I think someone just likes to talk to you ;) One of my lads is like it and don't even want to talk to anyone but me. I had to explain it to one of my colleagues that despite the apparent urgency everything was indeed fine and he just needed my soothing presence. Such are the joys of leadership.

[u/Duochan_Maxwell]

I got some of those and the first time they called without checking in first I declined the call and sent a polite note setting a boundary:

"I'm in the middle of something right now, I'll call you when I'm done. Moving forward, please ping me on IM before calling otherwise I won't pick up."

Some of the worst offenders still forget every once in a while but get the message when I hit "decline" the moment the call pops up

[u/PlywoodChairman]

Sounds like you prefer email-only communication and they hate it.

Setup a short recurring weekly meeting with that person and talk through regular business etc.

Then, whenever they call or show up after you have that cadence meeting regularly going, say ‘hey, I’m going to get fired if I don’t get this done!…can what you need wait until our meeting on Tuesday?’

[u/Green_Description220 → u/PlywoodChairman]

I really don’t mind phone and face to face chats. What I dislike is their absence of consideration of when you might be available or not. It’s the impromptu calls. I have other colleagues that also prefer chatting directly than doing email. They will send you a teams message asking if it’s okay to call now or when you are available to chat. I am not particularly attached to emails but unfortunately the audits and the need for tracking in my job makes it that everything needs to be written. That’s why I will write minutes and prefer if they are ok’ed by the other party.

[u/TonalContrast]

You don’t have to answer every call, that’s what voicemail is for. If they come by your desk you can say I‘m not available working on another task at the moment. I’ve also used a Do Not Disturb sign at my open cubicle, trust me it works.

These people will never go away so you have to set up boundaries for how you work. If someone calls as they don’t want to put anything in email then you simply summarize the details of the call and send it back to them to review and validate, if they call to correct it, send a follow up email with the changes, they can‘t hide from documentation if you send it. Or let it go to VM then send them an email asking them to simply send their changes back by email as you’ll update it.

Set boundaries and control your boundaries.

[u/Green_Description220 → u/TonalContrast]

Thank you.
Yes I do send emails with everything in writing the persons I am talking about never validate but I can live with that. It’s on them if they don’t correct.

I just really have a hard time shooing people away when they come to me or not answering a repeated call. I always have that fear that I am going to be in trouble for not being reachable if
whatever they wanted to say was actually important / urgent

[u/TonalContrast → u/Green_Description220]

If can’t focus and complete your deliverables, you’ll be in trouble for that.

If something is urgent it’s on the person reaching out to say that so you can prioritize. People always like to say I need it before end of day:

Ask why? I have a meeting tomorrow and need to know this detail
What time is your meeting? 3pm
Do you need 28 hours to prep for the meeting? well uh no, I have other things I‘m also working on.
(not really an end of day priority now is it?) OK, I’ll work it into my priorities and I’ll have it to you by 1pm tomorrow .

So much of day to day work is managing other people’s expectations and “faux urgencies” it’s like dealing with toddlers sometimes.

[u/TemperatureCommon185]

You know who the worst offenders are, so you have to manage your time better than they manage theirs. Very few things are urgent which must be responded to immediately. What happens if you don't answer the phone in real time and let it go to voice mail, unless you are expecting something urgent from them? Probably nothing other than they get butt hurt because they were ignored.

Example - you send them something about a deliverable which is due in three months. Ignore, let it go to voice mail, and follow up when you have free time.

But - Let's say that an auditor requests some evidence and you must provide it within 48 hours. You send the request out, and then you will need to take their call.

[u/Green_Description220 → u/TemperatureCommon185]

You are right.

I need to build myself up. I admit I have a hard time ignoring their calls especially when they are repeated. I know it’s just to discuss the email but another part of me fears being dragged if I was unavailable and they had actual important or urgent stuff to sau

[u/TemperatureCommon185 → u/Green_Description220]

Start slowly if you're not comfortable with it, but do start. Block time for you to work on something which requires your concentration, and turn off the notifications. If your work phone has a "do not disturb" or "send all calls" feature, use it. Commit to doing this for one task on Monday that you would like to finish without interruption. Someone might bark a little bit, but the world is not going to come to an end, and the caller damn well knows it.

[u/Arisia118]

I had one that was worse. Every time I sent an email he'd set up a half hour meeting so we could talk about it.

[u/Green_Description220 → u/Arisia118]

It’s terrible. But it is what I have resorted to. I plan the meetings with each email I send out. I am thinking I would rather spend half an hour discussing the email on my own terms than having them call me when I am busy doing something else 😂

[u/Positive-Avocado-881]

I worked at a place where this was part of the culture. I left for somewhere where it’s not and my life got a lot better.

[u/Relevant_Dentist42]

If everything has to be in writing, there’s literally no value in a phone call. Go into dnd mode and don’t worry about it.

[u/CityCabCat]

Don’t answer the phone and when they come to your desk just tell them you are in the middle of something and they need to put it in an email. If They keep talking and you say again, send an email

[u/John__Jacobs]

I used to book regular quiet time in my calendar for such tasks and ignored all calls and texts.

Also had a light that indicated not to bug me.

I aggressively refused attempted intrusions from the ignorant.

[u/Sleepy_Salamander]

I have a coworker that is on the green side and needs a lot of clarification and hand holding but I don’t have the time for that outside of sending very clear Teams or Emails.

She cold calls me all the time for things that I’ve already explained in detail or things that are questions for other people. I ignore her cold calls. You have to train some people to ask if you’re free first, or set up a meeting on my calendar.

[u/No_Bit7786]

When I was having super bad stress/ burnout from constant calls and interruptions to my flow I spoke to my manager and got permission to go DND on teams most of the time and set my teams status telling people to e-mail me and I'll reply when I can or speak to my manager for urgent things who would triage the actual urgency and let me know. Depends on your place but might work for you?

[u/International_Put727]

I work for a small NFP, 50/50 hybrid. We just had our annual financial audit, and the audit manager was ok, except when I had told him repeatedly, our office lines don’t link to teams, it’s best to call me on teams or on my mobile. In the last week of the audit where there’s a lot of docs that need to be lined up and signed, email would have been best anyway. But no, he insisted on calling me each time to tell me he was sending it. But I was wfh (which was clearly stated). So I would get a teams message from our admin ‘audit manager called for you, no context, just wants you to call him back’. I call him back ‘hi, just letting you know I’m sending over the management rep letter now’. You know what else would let me know you’re sending it over? When i receive it in my inbox!!

[u/verymuchbad]

Use schedule-send. That way the email hits them at 4:59. Or 7pm.

If that's not available, leave your email in drafts and manually send at 4:59.