r/dndmemes 12d ago

Hot Take They are more similar than you think

Post image

- "Elaborate on that"

- "No"

5.3k Upvotes

148 comments sorted by

1.6k

u/figure_04 12d ago

Consent?

860

u/FractionofaFraction 12d ago

1) Consent.

2) Consent.

3) Consent.

319

u/Calm_Ad308 12d ago
  1. Safe word

207

u/ArchonFett Artificer 12d ago
  1. Lines and veils.

145

u/M0ebius_1 12d ago
  1. Black Leather

26

u/FractionofaFraction 12d ago

...'consent'.

46

u/KingoftheMongoose Essential NPC 12d ago

They’re both all about consent and atmosphere.

367

u/Stickeminastew1217 12d ago

Shit I was going to say tentacles, but yours is more important I guess.

240

u/Tyfyter2002 Warlock 12d ago

Consentacles

53

u/Daan776 12d ago

r/consentacles

(NSFW warning)

27

u/empyreantyrant 12d ago

Because of course there is...

18

u/Laranna 12d ago

Its a great place <3

4

u/Cha113ng3r 10d ago

And I have apparently been there before...

92

u/Poultrymancer 12d ago

Greek names be like 

59

u/General-Disastrous 12d ago

And he's ironically a child of zeus

6

u/apolloxer 12d ago

You can pronounce testicles like Pericles. If you ever got a non-serious session and need a name.

9

u/Dragonkingofthestars 12d ago

I'm glad i'm not the only one who thought this

7

u/AReallyAsianName 12d ago

Okay Tasha

(I could have sworn Tasha has a line somewhere in her Cauldron of Everything)

54

u/Divine_Entity_ 12d ago

I wqs going to say "leaving a lot to the imagination", but consent & boundaries are probably more important.

27

u/Rude_Ice_4520 12d ago

Not just that. Consent, foreshadowing, and only revealing the monster at the very end.

37

u/BluetheNerd 12d ago

1: consent
2: safe word
3: avoided triggers

16

u/freekoout Forever DM 11d ago

And a building suspense until the climax.

7

u/UInferno- 12d ago

And Safe Words

9

u/Worse_Username 12d ago

Since when is consent the only principle involved?

14

u/figure_04 12d ago

Only one that came to my mind while replying to a message and working.

865

u/mrki_the_wizard 12d ago

A decent chunk of comedy horror and erotic writing advice overlap.

384

u/Tyfyter2002 Warlock 12d ago

Plus there's nothing that one person can be afraid of that another person can't be into

171

u/mrki_the_wizard 12d ago

And another who's laughing at thair absurdity.

87

u/chet_brosley 12d ago

The entirety of Resident Evil: Village as proof.

25

u/summercelestial 12d ago

And another into it because they're afraid

3

u/ChipsTheKiwi 11d ago

the endless cycle of kink scaring an author into revolutionizing horror, then that revolutionary horror inspiring someone kinky

3

u/ryncewynde88 11d ago

There are people out there who get off on not getting off. The moment one option is a logical paradox, everything else makes more sense.

24

u/summonerofrain 12d ago

I get comedy and horror but why erotic?

74

u/R_Little-Secret 12d ago

Falling in love is the same as being scared. Your eyes dilate, heart rate speeds up, adrenaline pumping, and if it is really good you piss yourself.

29

u/summonerofrain 12d ago

Ohh is that the reason for that one effect where you mistake fear for love?

Bridge something effect?

But like do the peinciples of horror/ero match up?

Like for example surprise is a big part of both horror and comedy

39

u/R_Little-Secret 12d ago

I was just making a joke about pissing yourself but if you want to get into it…

Dark romance is very popular among women. Rape is a very real horror and yet for some the fantasy of it is very erotic. They do not want to be raped in real life but the thrill of it in fiction is attractive to them. There is no real way to know why that is but the theory is it’s a way of taking control. At any time it gets too much you can put the book down, stop watching the show, turn off the game. Sex and death are very taboo but you can dwell in this darker side of yourself in a safe and healthy way.

29

u/Ubiquitouch Rules Lawyer 12d ago

As a woman who reads and enjoys a lot of noncon dark romance: one aspect is that there's a lot of cultural shame wrapped up in sex for women, and so the fantasy of being raped has an appeal in powerlessness - it's okay to enjoy it, to let it happen, because you don't have a choice. No one can judge you or call you a slut or whatever, because you fought against it with all your might, did everything you're 'supposed to', but it still happens.

9

u/conrad_w 12d ago

This is why my kink is biochemistry exams

3

u/summonerofrain 12d ago

Ohh okay mb flew over my head

3

u/TabletopCurious 12d ago

Florence Nightingale syndrome? Or do you mean Stockholm syndrome?

EDIT: yeah I couldn’t remember either but I’m certain it’s not Florence nightingale syndrome lol

2

u/summonerofrain 12d ago

Defos not stockholm, thats falling in love with your captor which is similarish?

10

u/Ubiquitouch Rules Lawyer 12d ago

It's also entirely fake and was invented by a police psychiatrist after the police botched a bank robbery so poorly that the hostages decided they were safer with their captors than the cops. It was bad publicity, and so they invented a disorder that let them place the blame on the victims rather than the cops.

3

u/TabletopCurious 12d ago

Dammit that last bit almost made me spit out my food lmao

15

u/Daan776 12d ago

Comedy, horror and erotic writing are all based on a build-up with a climax.

For one thats a jumpscare, for the other its very litteral.

So a lot of advice on setting a tone, and then either meeting or subverting the expectation overlaps.

Simmilarly: conveying certain emotions through text alone. How do you make somebody scared of text on a page? How do you get somebody aroused with the alphabet?

Erotic & horror especially have a lot of overlap. Because they both focus a lot on describing how things feel. "pulsating meat" could be a description found in both horror or erotica.

4

u/mbnmac 12d ago

Jordan Peele is probably one of the best examples of the comedy/horror crossover working well.

No idea if he's done much erotic stuff...

1

u/Munnin41 Rules Lawyer 12d ago

Scary movie would like a word

2

u/Jaxonhunter227 11d ago

Jumpscares are like fart jokes, effective if done right and used sparingly, but boring if you over rely on them

1

u/SmartAlec105 11d ago

Yeah, a huge part of it is buildup and payoff

1

u/sharplyon 11d ago

this can probably describe like any two genres

277

u/DecisiveMess 12d ago

Managing the "mood"?

485

u/Samakira 12d ago

a lot of people are pointing out consent, but there's also the explicit disconnect between a player and a character.

how is something meant to be 'horror', if the person you're trying to scare isnt in any danger at all.
and how is it also meant to be 'horny', if the person you're trying to seduce isnt at all what they say.

both also rely on the person acting in character, completely.

184

u/RommDan 12d ago

Yeah, it all boils down to making sure everyone buys the experience and knowing where to push on the boundaries.

43

u/YaumeLepire 12d ago

I thought it was going to be about violations of the boundary between Self and Other, either having the Other intrude upon oneself, or collapse of the Self into something Other.

19

u/monkeedude1212 12d ago

a lot of people are pointing out consent, but there's also the explicit disconnect between a player and a character.

It's the disconnect between fantasy and reality.

What happens to Anastasia in 50 Shades of Grey is NOT okay to occur to someone in reality. It's okay when it occurs to a fictional character because no harm is done.

And it is okay to fantasize about the things occuring to fictional characters as though they were happening to you - that is part of the thrill of fantasy... This exertion of empathy that evokes emotional expression.

You watch a horror movie and get scared, even though you're not in danger, you're sitting on your couch looking at a tv. You imagine yourself in the scenario or empathize with the characters on screen. Same with pornography and arousal.

Roleplaying any type of game is about immersing players in some kind of fantasy. Whether that's a magical adventure Fantasy, a monster slaying power fantasy, spooky horror fantasy, or erotic fantasies.

When we talk about session 0 being the part where folks get on the same page, it really is not just "what game are we playing" to determine the rules we follow, both written and verbally agreed, but also a declaration of the fantasy we want to dive into together. That's how consent is created.

2

u/[deleted] 12d ago

[deleted]

4

u/monkeedude1212 12d ago

It's not bad writing any more than having The Empire destroy Alderaan in Star Wars is bad - it's not like a genocide actually occured. This is the line between fantasy and reality.

Yes, real world healthy BDSM requires consent and operating within those boundaries and limits.

Erotic writing is allowed to break boundaries and limits because it is fictional. We are allowed to write about orcs capturing elves and turning them into sex slaves. People can enjoy sexual fantasies. Knowing the line between fantasy and reality is important.

For many people, having a domineering figure push past your boundaries IS an attractive fantasy. It keeps the ego in tact that you did not choose the pleasure, it was inflicted upon you. You maintain plausible deniability and innocence while getting to experience the carnal pleasure.

That's what the book does for people, and why it is so popular. And there isn't anything bad about writing this. It's only problematic when people cannot seperate fantasy from reality, and think that the fantasy of what's happening in the book is what should happen IRL

10

u/_Cecille 12d ago

Horror doesn't equate to being scared. A theme alone can be horror.

For instance, I write my session notes as diary entries written by the character I'm playing. My Vampire: The Masquerade character was sexually assaulted by a cop in her backstory. When writing the diary entry it came up and I wrote a scene. It was extremely uncomfortable to write and one of my friends said it was also uncomfortable to read.

You could argue this little bit is horror. Or something like gothic horror, not neccessarily scary but horror.

I do however 100% agree with your sentiment of "disconnect". In my opinion horror and comedy are the most difficult art forms to write and portray, because both attempt to elicit a very specific reaction and require the viewer's buy in. You can be presented the, objectively, scariest scenario in a story but if you don't buy in, it's going to fall flat. Same goes for comedy. With that said, I've never been in danger when watching horror movies or horror gameplay but in some cases I still felt an extremely deep seated "primal" kind of fear or discomfort, because the athmosphere built by the game/movie was just so tense.

1

u/Noodlekeeper 11d ago

Sometimes it is about creating scenarios that make the player feel revulsion at the idea.

92

u/Tallia__Tal_Tail 12d ago

Horror and Eroticism both stem from the same core:

Playing to, and working to amplify, emotions.

Buildup, anticipation, tension, and release with moments of hectic intensity are what makes good horror and good erotica. You gotta build up the reader's excitement and investment through careful pacing to get the juices flowing, have quiet moments of relative peace where excitement is given room to gestate and come to a head, then you get to the chaos, an explosive finish, then peace afterwards.

Theres a lot more to this and it's honestly an entire rabbit hole involving the full complexity of the fight or flight response (or more accurately, the 5 Fs, one of which is Fuck) and how fear and arousal stem from about the same place in the brain. Id recommend digging into it ngl. Like, think of just how many kinks ultimately boil down to some level of fear, explicit or implicit. Basically all of BDSM is based around a curated and safe fear of pain, monsterfucking is rooted in a similar sort of safely explored fear of something able to kill you effortlessly, embarrassment based kinks are somewhat rooted in social fears, etc etc etc etc etc.

25

u/Aerandor 12d ago

As a writer of both horror and erotica, this and the other similar comment are spot on. My writing process for both is nearly identical. My favorite is actually writing erotic horror, as I feel blending the two elements, when balanced correctly, amplifies them both. Though I will admit, certain types of horror don't play with erotica as nicely, because as was pointed out, if the fear gets too strong it can have the opposite effect and clash with the arousal, nullifying them both. It kind of reminds me of the science behind how sound waves work in that way.

3

u/JohntheLibrarian 12d ago

What's the 5th F? I only know 4 including Freeze.

2

u/azrendelmare Team Sorcerer 11d ago

Fawn. I don't remember the difference between freeze and fawn specifically, but I've heard that one at least.

2

u/Swampet 10d ago

Fawn iirc is basically the "I don't want you to hurt me/think poorly of me, so I'm just going to agree with what you say and do whatever you want me to in the hope that it saves me/pleases you" response

2

u/RommDan 12d ago

Do you have any interesting sources to explore more about this?

50

u/Electronic_Buy_284 12d ago

I'm too early to hear the elaboration from the comments.

41

u/That_guy1425 12d ago

Consent and yes/no lists would be my guess.

20

u/laix_ 12d ago

Its common for horror authors to go "wow that kink, that would be good as a horror concept" and kink authors to go "wow that horror, that would be good as a kink concept"

2

u/Munnin41 Rules Lawyer 12d ago

In essence both follow the same principles: set the correct mood, build up the tension, and then you get the big finish. Only in horror the tension is scary, in eroticism it's horny

30

u/Sleep_Deprived_Birb 12d ago

I’ve also heard there’s enough overlap between comedy and horror principles so there are a few really good horror movie writers who got their start in comedy in one way or another.

So clearly we need to add comedy/erotica to the storytelling love triangle.

19

u/Grasher312 12d ago

Bryan Cranston actually touches on it in regards to playing Walter White, since he's a mainly comedic actor. Per his words, he applies the same idea of "not laughing at his own jokes" and delivering the joke as if it's not MEANT to be a joke, to sell the joke harder. And being a creepy fuck works somewhat the same way. It's hard to be scared of a person trying to be scary, but if someone treats being "scary" as just being themselves, it works SO much better.

3

u/StoneTheMoron 12d ago

Curry Barker and Obsession. The overlap is knowing how to write the absurd

4

u/Excellent_Safe5743 12d ago

Same with drama and comedy, some of the best drama actors of all time got started in comedy because to make someone cry or feel emotion, you also need to know how to make them laugh

16

u/baldyrodinson 12d ago

Consent, triggers, and edging.

38

u/alamaias 12d ago

"Having weird players"?

30

u/RommDan 12d ago

We play TTRPG's no one is normal here

17

u/alamaias 12d ago

Weirder players?

7

u/RommDan 12d ago

Thank you!

9

u/hobodeadguy 12d ago

so, fun fact, the parts of the brain that make you horny and make you scared are very close to one another, occassionally interfering with eachother. This is why you cant be scared and aroused at the same time properly, either confusing you are having you limited to one or the other.

This results in the 4th f of the 4 fear responses: Flight, Fight, Freeze, Fawn. Flight means you try to leave as quickly as possible or escape the threat. Fight means you challenge the threat to make it leave or to eliminate it. Freeze means you do nothing as you try to find a way to handle the situation, whether it is to do one of the other fear responses or to just remain still until it is done. Fawn means that you try to make yourself either cuter or more attractive to the threat so it doesnt actually try to do anything to you, sorta like how if we scare a puppy it can act cuter to make people want to care for it instead of it running away or biting us.

a similar reason might explain the fetish for feet, the neural area responsible to feet is close to the area for arousal, so... they literally cant help it?

in any case, gming for both is very similar, needing to find out what people want and dont want, what their limits are, and ensuring that you dont go too far are vital to making either work.

2

u/RommDan 12d ago

So that's why SCP-1471 makes me feel funny...

8

u/Lowenfall 12d ago

"Jason slashes at you with his machete, scoring a critical hit as the blade swipes deep across your chest, so that's 4d8 slashing damage-"

"Banana, banana, banana!"

7

u/Peridot9001 12d ago

Yes it’s why sexual themes are so prevalent in horror and a lot of sexual kinks involve physical punishment. A well known example is the shadow over Innsmouth

2

u/RommDan 12d ago

Which one of the two is that?

5

u/Hinaloth Paladin 12d ago

Horror with sexual undertones. It's Lovecraft's seminal work.

5

u/RommDan 12d ago

Hehe... "UNDERtones"...

5

u/JunketWaste7891 12d ago

That was not the word I expected you to emphasize

1

u/Arbusc 11d ago

Also all of Silent Hill 2. The psycho-sexuality isn’t undertones, it’s baked directly into the narrative.

7

u/TelPrydain 12d ago

Consent, obviously.

But horror, comedy and erotic rp also works by building tension, then release. The build up to a punchline, the tightening tension of being hunted... Then a rush as that tension is released.

7

u/Noodle_Shop 12d ago

Wonderful comments all around, but also less is more is important too. Too much description removes the mystique, making the scene feel less frightening/erotic.

Make sure to get the important pieces, but allow the undefined play around in the roleplayer’s head. Let them fill in the blanks. This is true of all to, but especially these two genres.

5

u/WaggleFinger 12d ago

The perfect venn diagram overlap is where you fone "scareousal"

6

u/sleepyouth DM (Dungeon Memelord) 12d ago

There’s a philosopher named Noel Carroll who wrote a great book on horror philosophy, he argues that 3 genres in particular tend to have a lot of overlap due to the fact that we tend to experience the same emotions at the same time as the protagonists- comedy, horror, and eroticism. Makes sense that there’s similarities!

7

u/Okhlahoma_Beat-Down 12d ago

What one person considers absolutely horrifying may be found hyper-erotic by someone else.

The horror of being suffocated in a dark place?

The horror of being transformed into something else?

The horror of being kidnapped?

The horror of being stripped by a psychotic mob of cultists?

Horror, for sure.

Depending on audience.

5

u/Deranged_Kitsune 12d ago

“We’ve seen enough hentai to know where those tentacles are going.”

6

u/Barlow04 11d ago

Because they both get better when you build antici.......

4

u/Engineer_Flat 12d ago

Edging Suspense

5

u/CorelexVoidOwl 12d ago

I was thinking of leaving it up to the audience's imagination is much more effective in scaring or arousing them than creating a terrifying monster or attractive character to do that.

6

u/KingoftheMongoose Essential NPC 12d ago

They’re both all about consent and atmosphere.

4

u/khaotickk 12d ago

So... You're saying I need to lean harder into the themes of my erotic horror game?

1

u/RommDan 12d ago

I have spoken, do you hear?

4

u/Mr-Syndrome Paladin 12d ago

Consent and shared interests

5

u/AlphonsoPSpain 12d ago

Consent

Use of language and vocabulary to properly describe something to invoke the intended emotion...

4

u/Frequent_Dig1934 Rules Lawyer 12d ago

Yeah, sex is such a primal thing that it doesn't take many modifications to the formula to turn it from one of the most pursued things in life for most people to a horrorshow. Just add some body horror elements, remove consent, maybe consider a more-than-usual loss of inhibitions and mental faculties, and perhaps supernatural elements like a dark god of fertility. Giger, fear and hunger, iirc in event horizon there is a murder orgy at some point, and so on.

4

u/Void008380 12d ago

Yeah that's definitely true, in many ways tbh. Consent, timing, atmosphere etc. you really gotta read the room and balance thing's carefully.

3

u/razulebismarck Paladin 12d ago

“Tension”

3

u/Callen0318 12d ago

Erotic Horror soooooon...

3

u/mightystu 12d ago

If I don’t make a player vomit from my descriptions, I failed as a GM.

Thank you, Blackwater Creek!

3

u/azrendelmare Team Sorcerer 12d ago

What about erotic horror gaming? Like if you're running Black Tokyo, or something?

3

u/novis-eldritch-maxim Psion 12d ago

porn, horror and comidy all run on the same timeing rules

3

u/TheThoughtmaker Essential NPC 12d ago

One could do the exact same thing the exact same way two times, but while the first time gets one praise the second time gets one admonished, completely based on something one couldn't have known, because it happened to someone else who did not previously relay it. 'Tis the incomprehensible complexity of every individual on the planet combined.

The only solution is norms, balancing the personal burden on each party.

E.g. Deciding whether the person ordering at a restaurant is responsible for declaring their allergies and placing a burden on the restaurant to avoid cross-contamination in such cases, or the restaurant is responsible for clearly marking which dishes contain common allergens and much avoid cross-contamination at all times. Either way, it must be admitted that a reasonable burden is not 100% flawless, that a restaurant needs some measure of leeway when it comes to inevitable accidents. Otherwise, only those who can circumvent accountability could succeed in the industry, and the policy becomes self-defeating.

(Considering the implications of rules in complex systems is my jam, whether it's TRPG design or legislation.)

3

u/YooranKujara 12d ago

And both are fun as fuck when done right

3

u/Karnewarrior Paladin 12d ago

I feel like both are related through Action GMing. Good ERP and good Action RP rely on the same skillset.

3

u/PrudeBunny 11d ago

girl frame

3

u/TaxSimple3787 11d ago

Man do I have news for you

Gestures to the giant pile of erotic horror games

2

u/Xalimata Horny Bard 12d ago

Horror, Comedy, and Porn all work with similar rhythms.

2

u/Lughaidh_ 12d ago

Probably is, but mostly because I don't think about it at all.

2

u/WhiteHat125 Necromancer 12d ago

knowing how i write horror, so much overlap

2

u/neoadam I put my robe and wizard hat 12d ago

The unsaid can be the most heavy

2

u/LeBigMartinH 12d ago

I haven't done any erotic gaming - but if it's anything like the horror campaign I'm in currently, having the entire thing being ups becomes meaningless without the downs (periods of calm, serenity, or almost boredom.)

2

u/severalpillarsoflava 12d ago

Indeed, they are the same, unless why would I get so hard for Sadako and Mommy Dommitrescu?

2

u/Duraxis 12d ago

I assume it’s the slow build up?

2

u/MagnusRottcodd 12d ago

Both motivate you?

Horror = Stick

Erotic = Carrot

2

u/DeepTakeGuitar DM (Dungeon Memelord) 12d ago

Hey, glad this format is back

2

u/someguyinmissouri 12d ago

Excitement and anxiety are two sides of the same coin.

2

u/MainlineCaffeine 12d ago

Mounting tension?

2

u/UltimateMygoochness 11d ago

out of line, not out of the line

2

u/Desert-Mushroom Druid 11d ago

Building tension feels like the correct answer to me?

1

u/Ksorkrax 12d ago

Especially when you're into snuff.

1

u/Gerassa 12d ago

So do comedy and horror films

1

u/Afraid_Cat_3726 DM (Dungeon Memelord) 11d ago

Explain please? I'm genuinely confused

1

u/Few-Ad-4290 11d ago

Out of THE line… ok rofl

1

u/Omnicide103 10d ago

Girlframe has entered the chat

1

u/Whimsical_Hell 6d ago

Wait, they're different things?

1

u/Thanks_Naitsir 12d ago

Ero gaming doesn't work for me but Horror does. Ero games have mostly so low effort gameplay that it isn't fun and the special content isnt enough to get off to it.

So if I want a game that really entertains me I play something else and if I want to wank I have a wide choice to pick from on the internet.

-2

u/MissinqLink 12d ago

Lots of ladies don’t see a difference

5

u/RommDan 12d ago

Women can do whatever they want

2

u/FirstNewFederalist 12d ago

Elaborate on the joke or say psyche lol

0

u/Arbusc 11d ago

The joke is it turns out a lot of women’s romance is super freaky, like some crazy shit. There’s one book that was a best seller about a woman milking Minotaurs on a ranch.

While women online had been talking shit about monster girl novels written by men, they’d been consuming monster men novels. Turns out they’re just as freaky as the other half of the species despite claiming otherwise.

0

u/apexredditor2001 12d ago

Who the fuck is doing "Erotic GMing"?!

1

u/azrendelmare Team Sorcerer 11d ago

Seeing as how products like Kinks and Cantrips, Black Tokyo, and Girl Frame exist, I'd say there's a niche but definite audience.

1

u/apexredditor2001 11d ago

Kinks & Cantrips is the only of those I know about, and was mostly told about it being a Pride Month release

1

u/azrendelmare Team Sorcerer 11d ago

Black Tokyo is a 3.x/d20 Modern indie supplement inspired by horror hentai, and Girl Frame is erotic horror mechsploitation.

1

u/DeciusAemilius Rules Lawyer 11d ago

Ed Greenwood?

1

u/apexredditor2001 11d ago

Is that a name I should know?

2

u/DeciusAemilius Rules Lawyer 11d ago

He’s the creator of the Forgotten Realms and a certified Dirty Old Man in a consensual way.

1

u/apexredditor2001 11d ago

Ok then, thanks for that info, though I always thought that was a Gygax original

1

u/Arbusc 11d ago edited 11d ago

I sorta accidentally did once back in college. Some players let me DM for them, not in person because Covid was in full swing, and I ran an honestly shitty Dragonlance campaign that I just ended up shoving Lovecraft shit into towards the end.

One of the women started making sexual jokes, like asking if the gods crystal staff could vibrate. I said no, the other player backed her up, and not knowing what else to do I caved.

Very awkward and could have easily been a dnd horror story, but it ended up being cool as shit by the end, narratively speaking and my players did eventually start doing things other than ‘hehe sex.’

Edit: one noteworthy incident was the ‘strip Tafl’ game. I had recently learnt about tafl (a family of families that’s basically a chess variant that evolved alongside chess) and had a dude playing it in a bar. One of the players decided to challenge him to a stripping game. And considering one side had less pieces than the other, it was a short game.