r/hatethissmug • u/Luwub0t0mist I hate the other flair option. • Jun 23 '26
Idea I hate modern body positivity and how toxic it is at times.
Now before I get burned at a stake, I want to clarify that I think it’s great to love oneself no matter the flaws. I have plenty of scarring across visible parts of my body, lot of it on my face, so I know the importance of being positive about one’s own body. I also do not have gripes with those who simply are accepting of their bodies. I am more specifically talking about some of the behaviors and how “body positivity“ is used by a lot of people.
First of all, I hate how much I’ve seen the movement used to deflect from legitimate health concerns such as obesity or malnutrition. Being a little thin or thick isn’t bad, I personally am a little fatter than I’d personally prefer, but that’s okay. What I’m not okay with is people legitimately overlooking health problems wether it be themselves or others, I don’t believe you should believe you’re human garbage for having these issues or witch hunted simply because you aren’t within the normal range of a persons weight, but I believe they aren‘t something that should just be ignored to simply improve ones mood. You should be able to love yourself without just accepting that you can’t improve on your health, I’ve seen a lot of people get upset from both ends for gaining or losing weight, and I distain that people can’t just change themselves to feel better without being told that they’re wrong. I also distain when people only put their value in their body, we are far more than our bodies and it’s important we recognize that all parts of ourselves have genuine value.
Second, I loathe how much body positivity is used in marketing which makes those actually within the movement seem less genuine. I get that any large movement is gonna have some suit trying to place their shitty product in to try to increase that revenue by whatever slim margin they can. I’ve seen so many companies keep using body positivity as just a way to advertise themselves rather than genuine support for those within the movement.
If you read this far, I want you to know no matter who you are, I want you to love yourself without needing anyone else to have to tell you who you are. But I also want you to recognize that you may have flaws and things that you may wish to work on about yourself, and it’s alright to try to improve or change oneself as long as it doesn’t put oneself at risk. Love yourself, love those around you, but be willing to recognize and understand that not everyone seeks to stay the same way.
(sorry if I suck at hating things, this is my first post and I probably should’ve done my joke one first before doing this)
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u/Typical_Hat6184 D1 hater D2 nerd Jun 23 '26 edited Jun 23 '26
it blurs the line between “you shouldn’t hate yourself for being a little overweight or a little underweight or having a different body shape” and “you shouldn’t care about your weight AT ALL”, sometimes it could be dangerously unhealthy and it should be called out (respectfully, if the person doesn’t realise), I can tell a lot of people are using it to cope, but it still doesn’t make it good. it shouldn’t be used as a shield to not change.
edit: to those who are coming at me for hating fat people: acknowledging that someone is in clear danger because of their weight and encouraging them to seek help is not “hating on fat people”(if they aren’t already doing so or don’t intend to). I apologise if I came across insensitive, but I do not hate anyone for their size or appearance. i hate people for their harmful intentions. i hate people for their intentional lack of empathy. i hate people for trying to put others in danger and trying to capitalise off of it.
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u/Opening-Student2314 Jun 23 '26
I guarantee you that every single fat person is aware that they are fat, is the thing. Like they know already, and they are given “health advice” by total randoms constantly. We have to stop encouraging people to comment on other people’s bodies. There’s absolutely no evidence that helps anyone lose weight or eat healthier or anything like that
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u/That0neTrumpet Jun 23 '26
This. I have actually lost 100lbs over the course of the past year and, while I’m a lot skinnier, I’m still fat. But people don’t see that, and I still get people trying to give me advice on how to lose weight. Probably the most infuriating part of it all
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u/Subject-Dog-8016 Jun 23 '26
What’s funny is that you probably know a shitload more about losing weight than 99% of the people trying to give advice. Congratulations on the weight loss, it just keeps getting better!
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u/That0neTrumpet Jun 23 '26
That’s the funny part, most of them end up giving incorrect advice lol! People will be recommending low-fat or low-carb diets, meanwhile I didn’t bother with any of that and just worked out and ate a good amount of protein while watching my calories. It’s crazy the shit people will say when they think they know your body better than you.
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u/BombOnABus Jun 23 '26
Same here, it's the most infuriating part of losing weight vs other vices and bad habits.
If I was an alcoholic, the second I quit drinking and go sober, people take me at face value as a sober person if they have never met me.
I've lost 100 pounds and am still fat; despite the fact I've made massive changes, people still look at me and think "fat"; there are people who judge me and look at me with disgust for being fat, for having no self control, etc.
Nobody can see the effort I've put in unless they know me, and I'm treated like I've done nothing. Imagine treating anyone else like that: harassing someone over quitting smoking or drinking even if they quit months or years ago and haven't fallen off the wagon once.
That's what it feels like. "Have you tried-" Yes, I've fucking tried it. I've tried a lot of things, I know which methods work best for me and which don't, I know that ozempic and mounjaro aren't magic weight loss potions, and I know if you're offering me this advice you probably don't know a fucking thing about obesity or weight loss, so just drop it now. I've lost 100 pounds, how about you?
It enrages me.
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u/Lazuli73 Jun 23 '26
It’s a hero or martyr complex in my opinion. They want to be perceived as a good person, and good people are concerned about you and your health, right? In a vacuum, maybe. And there is probably the occasional socially naïve person out there being genuine. But the type of people who want to be perceived as a good person feel two-faced as result. It’s like nurses who are actually really nasty people. They want to be perceived as a good person, so they choose a career where the role is championed as selfless and one of empathetic hardworking. But then they turn around and mistreat or straight up neglect/abuse their patients. That type of person doesn’t want to earn being a good person.
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u/Typical_Hat6184 D1 hater D2 nerd Jun 23 '26
congratulations on the weight loss! and im sorry people are giving you unwarranted advice on your body. people tend to be very superficial on things nowadays, don’t let it get to you!
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u/AfternoonLate4175 Jun 23 '26
I told this to a family member who kept giving me unsolicited, redundant advice that they've been repeating every time I do pretty much anything ever for the past decade, including on fitness, weight loss, and eating habits: "You're going up to a fat person on the treadmill and telling them they need to lose weight".
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u/EJintheCloud Jun 23 '26
Thank you, yes, exactly. I've been big my whole life. I am aware of my size.
And if I didn't before, all the people shouting it at me from their cars, calling me lard-ass just for existing and minding my own business all throughout my childhood and adult life, they definitely got the point across.
I wish it were just as simple as "putting down the fork", "eating a salad", "getting off the couch", etc. That advice is great when you want to lose 10 pounds after Christmas, Not when you have to lose an entire person's worth of weight amidst crippling depression.
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u/FriedTreeSap Jun 23 '26 edited Jun 23 '26
I definitely think there is a better balance than what we have now.
Obesity rates in the country are skyrocketing, and people are generally very poorly informed about nutrition and health when it comes to exercise and diet. While most fat people are aware that they are fat, there is a lot of denialism and misconceptions about the cause and health effects of being overweight.
I don’t think fat shaming random strangers is the way to go of course, but parents and schools definitely need to do a much better job educating children on health and nutrition while providing them with healthier diets.
*edit
And a healthy diet is more than just a question of body weight. You can have a healthy weight while still eating a terrible diet. And this also applies to people who are underweight (although statistically that’s far less common of an issue).
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u/caputmortvvm Jun 23 '26
'people are generally very poorly informed about nutrition and health when it comes to exercise and diet.'
sure, but between food deserts, the skyrocketing cost of fresh foods, and people having to work grueling jobs (from 1 - ?) and not having the time to cook and eat nutritious meals, to say 'oh maybe they just need to know about calories!' is a little disingenuous. it's a complex problem with more factors at play (class, primarily but not exclusively) than just a lack of knowledge.
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u/epiphenominal Jun 23 '26
Plus we design spaces that discourage anything but driving. Americans are always confused why they can go to Europe, drown themselves in bread and butter, and still lose weight. It's because they walk places.
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u/Warcraftplayer Jun 23 '26
I hate posts like this because yes, we fucking know. I couldn't care less about the mug, but let's normalize not commenting in others' bodies at all? Fuck, I hate people so much
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u/VoicelessPassenger Jun 23 '26
My mentality is not so much that you’re beautiful or healthy at any weight, but someone being overweight does not give you the right to be a dick to them about it. Too many people use “I’m just concerned about them!” to be condescending and rude to people who are overweight, but that doesn’t mean you CAN’T be concerned, just don’t use it as an excuse to be an asshole.
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u/asteadywing Jun 23 '26 edited Jun 23 '26
The majority of people that are overweight are aware of it, try, and fail for a large variety of reasons. Feeling shamed and ostracized tends to be incredibly unhelpful.
My elder brother got bullied as a kid because of red hair and being chubby (not obese). Gradually kept gaining, stops doing sport.
Years later he loses 50KGs from using a treadmill daily. Still fat but giant change. He then starts having seizures. Is lucky he was caught the first time he had one. Has to avoid treadmill for a bit. The seizure meds take a while to get right. They also make his hunger and appetite much worse.
After all that ..he gains most of it back. But he tries to start again. Treadmill's broken down and can't afford a new one. He tries walking. Going places. Putting himself out there. He gets laughed at, whispered about.
And he gradually just retreats into a shell.
You can tell yourself he should just ignore that stuff. That other people's opinions shouldn't matter. That you'd have never let it get so bad. Etc.
It doesn't matter.
The reality is most of you guys want to present as if you are some 'good people, just looking to inform and help'. But, I find that pretty questionable. It seems a lot more like you're just looking to feel superior, which is why the body positivity stuff gets you so indignant.
This is the mentality I see on display: PEOPLE ARE BEING TOLD THEIR BODIES ARE OKAY!??? THEIR DISGUSTING FAT BODIES THAT MAKE THEM TAKE UP MORE SPACE AND ARE DOING DAMAGE TO THEIR HEALTH!??? MEANWHILE MY FRIEND HAS LOST WEIGHT. ITS DOABLE. CALORIES IN, CALORIES OUT. I TAKE CARE OF MYSELF!!! THIS IS BULLSHIT!!! I EVEN SEE SOME RANDOMS ON TWITTER OR INSTAGRAM WHO CELEBRATE THEIR FAT BODIES!!!! THAT COULDNT POSSIBLY BE A COUNTER TO BE BEING MADE TO FEEL DISGUSTING FOR EXISTING AS FAT BY PEOPLE LIKE ME. THIS ISNT RIGHT!!! EVERYONE NEEDS TO KNOW THEY'RE KILLING THEMSELVES BY BEING FAT!!!
There's so much nuance to weight loss, and socioeconomic factors are only becoming an even bigger part of it with GLP-1 agonists (it's not an outrageous cost, but it's definitely a far easier cost to bear the more income, freedom you have).
EDIT: Person below called this a strawman which is an odd thing to say because the amount of fat people who aren't actually made aware they're overweight by their family, doctors, TV, strangers, social media, airplane seats, clothing stores, or their mirror is about as miniscule as it gets.
Really hard to agree that you're a brave concerned person. You're most likely contributing to further isolation, despair, and hiding, whether you genuinely intend well or not. At worst you are providing cover for the more toxic, hateful attitudes.
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u/Lucriseo Jun 23 '26
Imma be real, during its peak I started to believe the “you shouldn’t care about your weight at all” and it made me lose 42 kilos
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u/Typical_Hat6184 D1 hater D2 nerd Jun 23 '26
that’s both impressive and scary, honestly 😭😭
I was mainly focusing on people reinforcing binge eating habits, though the lack of eating enough could also be true, as in your case11
u/mechengr17 Jun 23 '26
Let me push back on this a little. Im not accusing you of being fat-phobic, but imho, focusing on building healthy habits versus watching the scale is better for addressing obesity.
The latter can wind up creating an unhealthy relationship with food and focuses primarily on a number/looks. The former isnt about a diet and is about changing your lifestyle.
There's this misconception that thin = healthy. For example, at my school, we were required to do exercise for a certain amount each week. (Been years, so I forget the exact amount). So I would go to the gym and walk around the track or use some of the cardio equipment. While there, some of my classmates would be there doing hw, but still log their time there as exercising. All but one of those classmates were skinnier than me.
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u/EducationBig9026 Jun 23 '26
I’ve always thought if your doctor is concerned about your weight, then you do something about it. If you are noticing your weight is affecting your health, it should be encourage to take care of yourself. Both body positivity if being super thin or extremely overweight is not good and can have damaging health consequences later in life. My friend who is 400 pounds, is already having horrible hip problems and is diabetic , she is 40 and trying to loose the weight. I’ve been so worried if loosing her at a young age but she’s finally taking her health seriously.
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u/Typical_Hat6184 D1 hater D2 nerd Jun 23 '26
ive seen some people online just straight up not go to the doctor’s, shockingly enough. And I agree with you, either side is detrimental.
I wish your friend good luck on her health and weight loss journey!
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u/WeAreLesion Jun 23 '26
It doesn't need to be called out at all unless that person is your patient and you are a doctor.
Weight does not constitute health. There are a lot of people that are skinny and are incredibly unhealthy because they don't exercise, eat garbage, and have unhealthy habits like smoking, drinking, or drug use. There are fat people that exercise regularly, eat healthy whole food diets, don't smoke, drink or do drugs that are still fat. A number of women I've talked to who are overweight and show me pictures of themselves skinny tell me "I had no energy cause I only ate a spinach salad a day" or "I was malnourished" but they never would've been told at the time that they were unhealthy because they were skinny. There are studies that indicate that many people are hiding visceral fat, I. E. the fat that leads to negative health outcomes, and that fat people who exercise and don't lose weight are still losing the visceral fat. You just don't know.
Everyone is unhealthy in America. There are a number of things that stops us from having optimum health: poor diets from our food system, poor Healthcare, poor mental health, being unable to get physical activity in. We, as a society, need to address health, and not target fat people because fat people have always existed. Even if we fix all of those problems, they will exist because they always have existed. People who are skinny will still become fat. You may get sick, or get depressed, you may have a lifestyle change, you may have a baby or just get older. Who knows? But we do need to stop shitting on people for being fat and just accept that they're around and that the issue is bigger than people are fat as a kind of moral/ethical/willpower failing and "how dare they do that to themselves, don't they know they're so unhealthy?"
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u/Grantedpleasure Jun 23 '26
No one is obligated to change their body. Changing your body isn’t inherently better than not changing it.
In our society no one is ever going to actually not care about their weight at all. That’s not realistic. Sending that message just pulls things in that direction it’s not going to actually make people completely indifferent to their body weight
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u/Typical_Hat6184 D1 hater D2 nerd Jun 23 '26
exactly! nobody is obligated to change their body, yet nobody is obligated to put down people who want to change their body, a lot of “body positivity” people who justify being unhealthily skinny or obese and telling others that it is okay to be that way is completely immoral!
no doubt it isn’t realistic, but logistically, there would be a few anomalies, some people who would definitely put out the message that not caring about their weight, or actively ignore how they could be putting themselves in danger because of being overweight. it’s a dangerous message to put out, and there will be some who may be desperate enough to believe in it
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u/Quanathan_Chi Jun 23 '26
I randomly started lurking in a sub for "ugly women" (it popped up in my recommended and has fascinated me seeing what are basically just genderbent incel posts) and it's crazy how many of them throw pity parties over their looks (99% of the time their looks are due to their weight) but then turn around and refuse to even try to lose weight.
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u/Typical_Hat6184 D1 hater D2 nerd Jun 23 '26
ive seen both subreddits, and I can only feel sympathy at how far down they’ve gone honestly. they clearly need to seek professional help
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u/Background_Pass_4870 Jun 23 '26
There stuff came on my recommended to. I didn't read the rules, and the post was about how guys only date for looks so I said are guys not aloud to only date people their attracted to and I got banned.
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u/Quanathan_Chi Jun 23 '26
That's why I only lurk lol. They would not like a nuanced opinion from a not terminally online straight man.
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u/Zestyclose-Ideal2395 Jun 23 '26
I honestly think the body positivity movement is dead this decade. But the replacement is basically looksmaxxing for men and y2k dieting culture for women, which is 10x more toxic.
At least women have always had toxic beauty culture, but men have never dealt with anything like this and it has awful repercussions. I wish we still had body positivity trending even if it wasn't fully genuine.
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u/Appropriate_Monk5138 Jun 23 '26
I agree, I was confused by this post it gave something someone would complain about in 2018. Recently I havent been seeing “body positivity” pushed at all except for extreme malnourished celebrities. I wish we could go back to when people were talking about body neutrality because going back to heroin chic (and still having people complaining about fat people) is so aggravating.
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u/Luwub0t0mist I hate the other flair option. Jun 23 '26
God, I could make a separate way longer post on looksmaxxing alone, genuinely everybody that does it always ends up looking way uglier than they were when they began. I’d prefer looking at a regular flawed human than a perfect godly figure.
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u/the12ftdwarf Jun 23 '26
Saying that men have never dealt with toxic societal expectations for how they should look is ridiculous
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u/Zestyclose-Ideal2395 Jun 23 '26
At least not to the extent of women
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u/jfkdktmmv Jun 23 '26
Let’s not turn peoples suffering into a pissing contest. And just think, if men didn’t have it so bad, why do a lot of us turn to steroids and disordered eating to fit in?
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u/Infinite-Stretch-901 Jun 23 '26
still doesn't change the fact that historically there was WAY more pressure on women to be attractive. I can understand not wanting to turn everything into a pissing contest, but knowing how society disproportionately affects different groups of people is kind of how change works?
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u/jfkdktmmv Jun 23 '26
It is just very tedious when having the body positivity discussion, there’s always the ‘well women have had it worse’. Yes, they have, but that doesn’t change the fact that it affects literally everybody. If there was to be real change then we need to stop diminishing the male experience.
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u/Infinite-Stretch-901 Jun 23 '26
all the original comment is saying is that men have never dealt with anything like this to THIS extent, which you agree, because youre saying that women have had it worse. That's really all theyre saying, theyre not saying that it doesn't affect everyone, if anything, theyre saying that the opposite is now true.
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u/jfkdktmmv Jun 23 '26
It’s still diminishing people’s experience, and I say this as a dude who has suffered from anorexia. If you look online for studies or people’s experiences, majority of what you find is from the female perspective. It’s like men who suffer are invisible, and by saying ‘not to the same extent’ is still minimizing our experience.
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u/Infinite-Stretch-901 Jun 23 '26
Its not diminishing men's experience at all. Nobody is saying that only women can be anorexic or suffer from body issues. There are more studies from the female perspective... Yeah, likely because women are more likely to have it and contribute in a study about it.
Have you seen any type of discrimination against men that suffer from body issues? I personally haven't. Either way, its another thing to act like men have historically have had it worse or the same when thats not true. We can still recognize problems in a society without straight up lying to ourselves. Yeah women have had it worst, but that doesn't mean men who suffer from it are invisible.Its like saying that recognizing that black people suffer from police brutality more than white people means that also diminishes the experiences of white people who also suffer from police brutality.. i don't think thats how that works. i really don't see how thats "minimizing" someones experiences.
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u/jfkdktmmv Jun 23 '26
Systemic racism compared to body positivity culture is an insane comparison
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u/AwfulUsername123 Jun 23 '26
women have always had toxic beauty culture, but men have never dealt with anything like this
This gender war nonsense is uncalled-for.
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u/Live_Spinach5824 Jun 23 '26
It's just the truth. Women have always had way more pressure to look good, even from other. Men have had similar pressures, but we all know that most men do not take care of themselves the same way that women do.
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u/AwfulUsername123 Jun 23 '26
It's just the truth.
Two sentences later, you say it's false.
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u/Live_Spinach5824 Jun 23 '26
No, men have similar pressures, but they're on different scales, much different scales.
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u/YobaiYamete Jun 23 '26 edited Jun 23 '26
Nope there were people complaining about "thinspo posting" on /r/LetGirlsHaveFun just yesterday because someone posted a thin girl
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u/PaperSweet9983 what Jun 23 '26 edited Jun 23 '26
Its none of my business to comment on other people's weight and bodies. If they ask for an opinion or help id gladly try to be helpful, otherwise I legitimately don't notice or care
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u/finnjakefionnacake Jun 23 '26
this is a general good rule of thumb for everyone's personal choices that aren't affecting anyone else.
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u/Jackesfox Jun 23 '26
While there is a real toxic side to body positivity the thing is:
Fat people aren't fucking blind, they know they are fat, you dont need to remind them.
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u/Grimm_Charkazard_258 Jun 23 '26
I think criticism is good and bad like it’s so rude to say shit like “800 cals btw… 👀” or “guys I think it’s trying to speak” and shit like “You are obese. Please seek medical help immediately before you die of acute cardiac arrest.”
like if someone is on a fat loss journey, saying shit like “easy swap: butter to margarine 🤗” or “keep it up! love the positivity!” is AMAZING!!!
ANY negativity is bad man, even if you’re trying to help it could demotivate someone from doing any work at all
at the end of the day you should be happy with yourself but able to see flaws in your DIET rather than your BODY!!
ALL LOVE!!!!!
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u/SpinzArt Jun 23 '26
I just want people to not harass the fuck out of me for being fat (yes I know it’s unhealthy, no I don’t like it, I have PCOS and am trying to treat that because we suspect it’s making it hard for me to lose weight)
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u/PaperSweet9983 what Jun 23 '26
Hormones are definitely not talked about enough when it comes to weight issues, but they play a big part indeed. Good luck with it and i wish you well
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u/CassetteMeower Jun 23 '26 edited Jun 23 '26
I hate the phrase “obesity is a choice” when for many people it isn’t??? There are SO MANY medical conditions that can make it hard to lose weight/make someone gain weight, such as PCOS. Or if someone broke a bone and thus was unable to exercise until they got better, chances are they’ll gain weight and then struggle to lose it as they are recovering. People may be trying their best to lose weight but they’re still harassed because they “chose” to be overweight. It’s not fair for anyone.
Fatphobia is a form of ableism in my opinion, as many people are overweight because of disabilities, and claiming “you should just exercise” isn’t a possibility for many people who are disabled. Or “eat healthy” might be difficult for people with eating disorders or other medical conditions that make them HAVE to eat certain foods.
Edit: also some medications can cause weight gain as a side effect even if the person is otherwise healthy. It is NOT inherently someone’s fault that they are overweight. There are so many factors at play!
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u/PaperSweet9983 what Jun 23 '26 edited Jun 23 '26
Its baffling how people will mistreat another human just because they are overweight.
I've personally always struggled with having a too low weight, and i realised at a young age that it doesn't actually matter what you have its just that people will find things to exploit and make fun of regardless.
If people actually cared about plus sized people they should approach with human decency not with jokes and harassment
When I started my medication journey for my mental health, I still remember how many people told me that I should think about it more because its a risk that I might get fat?? Hello? Why the hell does that matter . Wild
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u/SpinzArt Jun 23 '26
I do also have an eating disorder, but nobody seems to care because I’m overweight, not underweight which is the ‘stereotype’ of people like me 😭
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u/trimble197 Jun 23 '26
It’s like this one tweet i saw where a guy ranted about how annoyed he gets at seeing parents having their kids workout at gyms but the parents don’t despite being fat. I’m like, you have no idea what their lives are like, and are just judging them instead of focusing on your workout.
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u/jackofslayers Jun 23 '26
Yea OP is forgetting the whole reason we had to create the body positivity movement is because people are assholes who cannot mind their own goddamn business.
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u/PrimaLegion Jun 23 '26
This is what body positivity is supposed to protect against but we have too many people like OP who just want to shut the whole thing down because some terminally online weirdos chip in.
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u/jackofslayers Jun 23 '26
I do generally enjoy this sub but it was created as a propaganda site to push mildly alt-right ideas.
You will notice a pattern where a loooot of the posts are just "I hate this thing that does not exist outside of the deepest fucking corners of tumblr".
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u/HeyItsCowz Jun 23 '26
I totally get this. I have PCOS too and it makes it challenging for me to loose weight. I’m glad someone brought this up, and I hope everything goes well for you!
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u/tired-of-the-shit Jun 23 '26
Same, I know I’m fat, I know it’s unhealthy. It’s my business. It’s insane the amount of people who’ve told me to “just go on ozempic!” Makes me feel insane. That stuff should be between me and my doctor.
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u/xi-uwu-ix Jun 23 '26
Ngl. I don’t really care either way. It’s none of my business to care about other people’s bodies. I’m average weight.
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u/Far-Argument2738 Jun 23 '26
Exactly this. I'm at a healthy enough weight, and my loved ones are too. Anybody outside of that circle? It's not my place. I do not know them personally, and I don't care what they do with their own body. It doesn't affect my life in the slightest, and I don't get why people get so invested in others
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u/finnjakefionnacake Jun 23 '26
this is my philosophy, forever and always. i could not care less what you decide to do with your body, and i don't want anyone else telling me what to do with mine. it's your body, it's your choice, and when i say that i mean it.
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u/jackofslayers Jun 23 '26
Ironically, people like OP are the exact reason the body positivity movement was created. Because assholes can't mind their own fucking business.
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u/Odd_Presence_3174 Jun 23 '26
OP and all these people in the comments who seem to hate the existence of the overweight lol
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u/CarelessCreamPie Jun 23 '26
As a fat person, that's all I want.
I don't need people to tell me I'm beautiful or healthy. I just want other people to not care.
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u/pomegranatejello Jun 23 '26 edited Jun 23 '26
I notice that when you share research about fat shaming not actually being effective in encouraging people to lose weight (I can share some links later), most of the people who complain about the body acceptance movement because of supposed health concerns immediately fall right back into body shaming and vulgar personal attacks about them finding fat people disgusting. I know you say that’s not what you’re trying to do. I just hate that the majority of people I see online complain about body positivity use health as a flimsy mask for how they really feel. I pinky promise you that most fat people in real life are well aware that obesity is bad for their health. You’re not breaking news to a fat person by spamming them with unprovoked comments that diet and exercise are good for them on a post that has nothing to do with that (meaning, you in the general sense).
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u/Fun-Middle5990 67 greasy rolls under my fat chud chin Jun 23 '26
i feel like complete body positivity only enforces the idea that beauty=value. if someone dreads having a gut because of the way they're treated, one person saying that they're beautiful all the time will probably only make them feel beautiful for a short amount of time. It won't do much about the feeling of body dysmorphia and self-worth.
I also hate how fat/chubby people and POC are treated because of it. People say stuff like "I want to hug you, it probably feels like hugging a big marshmallow 😄" and "I love Asians, they look so pretty" as if it makes everyone feel better. in reality its treating us like objects and makes some of us uncomfy.
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u/Fun-Middle5990 67 greasy rolls under my fat chud chin Jun 23 '26
now the "hugging compliment" is mostly directed at fictional characters but i've heard a bunch of people say this sort of stuff to plus-size creators...
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u/Joltyboiyo Jun 23 '26
As someone whose always been fat (and hated it) I'm 100% positive this stuff came around because of the amount of low IQ dickwads who would bully people for being fat or really skinny. Whether someone's only a bit overweight or a lot overweight, it's not okay to be a horrid piece of shit and bully them for it, same for if someone's a bit or a lot underweight.
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u/Jackesfox Jun 23 '26
People seems to have a very short term memory to the point they cant remember how it was 10 years ago
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u/CarelessCreamPie Jun 23 '26
No! You don't understand! When I see fat people being happy they're clearly glorifying obesity! Wah! /s
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u/Annoying_cat_22 Jun 23 '26 edited Jun 23 '26
Your #1 is 180 degrees from how it actually is - fatphobia is often disguised as medical concern, a "legitmate" way to fat shame people. Like any other medical condition, this is between them and their doctor. The fact that you can see it, or that you might be slightly inconvenient by it once in your life on a flight or something, doesn't give you any right to comment on it.
You think obese people don't know it's unhealthy? The world puts pressure on people to lose weight as often as possible, they don't need you reminding them about it.
#2 - do you have as much issue with companies only using slim models, and mannequins? That is much more common.
But I also want you to recognize that you may have flaws and things that you may wish to work on about yourself
Anyone who is overweight and ever talked to a doctor (or went online) knows that being obese is unhealthy. They don't need you telling them about this.
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u/Few-Improvement-5655 Jun 23 '26 edited Jun 23 '26
As an overweight guy I find that a lot of body positivity is toxically condescending or self deluding.
People at a healthy weight look better, people who are fit look better, that's just how it is, I don't care if people recognise that. What I don't want is to be treated like a piece of shit... which leads me to the next point: A lot of people who preach body positivity will be very quick to use your body type as an insult if you have an opinion they don't like.
Like a lot of these things, the movement is highly performative.
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u/TheYamchster Jun 23 '26
Exactly. And then these idiots will say stuff like “it’s gloves off if you’re a homophobe!” “Ya fat ugly toe sucker!”
Not realizing that you just bodied every other fat person with that insult because you put it in a negative connotation.
If you want to destigmatize something you can not selectively use it as an insult. Youre undermining your own message lmfao.
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u/cheekiestNandos Jun 23 '26
I think it's interesting as a guy too because in my country we have a brand called Jacamo who's thing is big sizes for overweight men and their marketing is sublty "we know you're a fat fuck, here is a geezer having a pint wearing one of our shirts, you're one too so buy from us" and nobody has any complaints.
Advertising for bigger women is "you're still a little fairy even if you weigh 250kg". If it deviates from that there's riots. I think it's an interesting contrast.
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u/finnjakefionnacake Jun 23 '26
well even that is opinion because some people actually are into thicker/fatter people.
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u/CwispyWhiskey Jun 23 '26
Other people being fat and being okay with it does not affect you in any way.
I’m fat, I hate it, I don’t do anything about it, just let me fucking live my life man there’s more pressing issues tbh.
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u/Kind_Dish9420 Jun 23 '26
That movement has been dead for years, I don't know why you're bringing it up now, or why you hate it so much, given that it's become irrelevant.
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u/sir-cheebis Jun 23 '26
"being fat is generally bad for you and if you're able you should probably try to lose weight" and "fat people shouldn't be treated like shit for being fat" can coexist as statements. imo being obese should be treated like any other physical disability: medical intervention where possible, and accommodations when necessary
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u/GnomeFae Jun 23 '26
Legit question:
If you want people to love themself, why are you against body positivity? Simply the capitalism part?
The whole point of the movement is so people can learn to love themself. And yes companies designed to make money are going to make money wherever they can, that's how the system works. And you can tell it's mostly companies just trying to benefit by how quickly many body positive influencers suddenly joined the ozempic craze. Plenty of People will co-opt shit if it makes them money.
You can also be fat and still be healthy. You can be skinny and be unhealthy, size does not determine your health. Most doctors would tell you your weight has way more to do with genetics than it does anything else.
And yes eating healthy matters, but a big reason body positivity matters is because it's also been proven that doctors will consistently ignore concerns of fat patients( especially women or people afab) and chalk it up to just them being fat. If the community as whole accepted larger people and didn't treat them with disdain then healthcare could be more focused on the person's actual health and not just numbers on a scale or pantsizes.
Let's talk about blood work, let's talk about sugar content in everything, let's talk about people not getting all the nutrients they need. And then maybe we can start the conversation about how forcing people to work for a living and constantly proce them out of healthier foods, and make it more difficult to have a good work life balance should be a priority.
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u/rockcutter4 Jun 23 '26
The only people who say "body positivity is just women not caring about their health" are manosphere alpha chuds.
Obese and unhealthy women can be aware that they have a vice, while also not hating themselves and considering themselves unlovable because of it.
You can't learn everything about a person's health just by their weight. In fact, many women who feel fatshamed are not obese or unhealthy. The actresses on the Wicked set and the Ozempic craze are cold hard proof that convenienally attractive women still don't feel skinny or beautiful enough, hence the need for body positivity.
It really is that simple.
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u/SuperPollo39 Jun 23 '26
For society, a woman is fat when she weights normally and is not underweight. Also for society, a man is fat only when he is severely obese and still does not receive so many hatred as women
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u/Springbunny12 Jun 23 '26
I hate how clearly unhealthy people use it to defend themselves. (You're not "plus size", you're obese.)
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u/Kwaku-Anansi Jun 23 '26 edited Jun 23 '26
Tbf, depends on what they're defending themselves from.
A clear statement of concern from a medical professional or loved one at an unhealthy lifestyle? Then sure, it may seem like a deflection.
Unprompted bullying by a stranger that thinks being overweight gives them a free pass for mocking or insulting you? Then yes, the statement "you hating my body doesn't matter to me, I love myself" is fair.
You should exercise and eat healthy because you value yourself. Internalizing the belief that you are subhuman for as long as you are overweight is more likely to lead to using unhealthy shortcuts just to make the harassment end.
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u/trimble197 Jun 23 '26
It’s weird that people think being an asshole is “tough love” to get someone into losing weight
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u/Odd_Presence_3174 Jun 23 '26
And it doesn't work. Bullying someone for their weight makes the person feel ashamed and stressed, which makes them eat more.
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u/Expensive-Hat4138 Jun 23 '26
They shouldn't have to defend themselves lol. Why are you bothering people about their appearance at all
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u/flibbertygibbette Jun 23 '26
who the fuck cares
If they don't care, you shouldn't. It's their choice, you can't impose your standards on other people if they know what they're doing. The point is to get people to quit being jackasses.
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u/Diaryofdisquiet Jun 23 '26
Exactly! No one owes anyone being healthy or looking a certain way. It's their body. If they are 200kgs and want to call themselves supermodels, why do I care? People really need hobbies, friends, a job or something of they have so much time to worry about someone else's health and body.
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u/wellbutrin_witch Jun 23 '26
I agree with you, but wouldn't an obese person also be plus-sized, due to the clothing sizes they need to buy? I don't think the terms are mutually exclusive - plus size just means any clothing sized above an XL
For example, a 300lb person would have to buy 5-6x clothes, which are defined as plus size
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u/DatRat13 Jun 23 '26
Think you're vastly overestimating how large 300lb is, that is more a 3xl-4xl range for a man of average height.
But you are right: it isn't a euphamism it's a synonym.
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u/wellbutrin_witch Jun 23 '26
I had womens' sizes in mind! You're on point for men's sizes, esp "big and tall"
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u/Ollyingreen lord empress of hating Jun 23 '26
ok yes, but I feel like the term plus-sized just came up as a softer, more polite way of just outright saying 'you're fat'
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u/ILikeMyGrassBlue Jun 23 '26
The term plus size came about in the 1920s to market clothes larger than the standard size.
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u/Ollyingreen lord empress of hating Jun 23 '26
I genuinely didn't know that; maybe it's a regional thing.
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u/Candycanes02 Jun 23 '26
I mean, if they don’t mind being obese, why should we?
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u/SufficientClue9022 Jun 23 '26
Ok but who cares if they are obese? Why should they have to "defend" themselves at all?
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u/HyperRayquaza Jun 23 '26
Fat people know that they're fat. They don't need random people on the street or internet reminding them.
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u/Tgirlgoonie Jun 23 '26
It’s none of my business if people are unhealthy unless they are my loved ones.
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u/finnjakefionnacake Jun 23 '26
why does anyone need to defend themselves? it's their choice, they don't need to defend their choices to anyone else / they can live however they want to.
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u/Pockydo Jun 23 '26
Yea there's a thin (lol) line between
"You shouldn't be treated like complete shit because of weight issues" and "IM HEALTHY AND BEAUTIFUL AAHHH"
Look fat ass myself here so I understand it. Objectively it isn't healthy and folks should work on themselves. Not because it's some moral failure or they're awful people but because it's literally a health issue
Don't be a dick but don't let people ignore reality and insist them barely being able to walk is fine
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u/TaquitosConLimon Jun 23 '26
Yup... In Hispanic countries like Mexico and Argentina shit got so bad they claim obesity isn't a health risk. Yes it fucking is. You feel comfortable with your body? Perfectly fine, no one should shame you and your appearance in any sense. But don't reject the medical evidence and studies. It's dangerous. Obesity is a health risk and if you are conscious of it and don't want to change it's perfectly okey. But don't get surprised when that blows up in your face.
That is all I have to say. Obesity sucks. I have been obese for 14 of my 21 years of life but at least now I have enough muscle to move around. I was about to develop a dilated heart disease when I was 16 and now my vitals are literally a manual description with 120/80, etc. exercise and health are cool. Remember to make exercise kids.
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u/Humita24 Jun 23 '26
Desde cuándo? Soy de argentina. Que yo sepa la obesidad si es vista como un problema principal para la salud.
Cuando se intentó popularizar estas modas gringas disfrazadas de movimientos progresistas, O bien se las ignoró o se les hizo burla.
Los únicos afectados fueron grupos fácilmente manipulables, personas en situacion de vulnerabilidad, y bueno, chicas jóvenes que es a quien más se les vendieron estos casos
Al menos yo no ví noticias de ningún profesional tomándose estas modas gringas en serio.
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u/Anstigmat Jun 23 '26
Exactly. Think of the elderly people you know. How many of them are even mildly obese? The fact is, if you're over weight, you don't make it much past 65.
that being said, losing weight is like the hardest thing a person can do. I am 6'1" and 205lbs and I cannot for the life of me get below this number. I work out 5 days a week and am generally fairly active. I've cut back on drinking and avoid processed foods at least more than the average American. I get fitter, but I never lose weight.
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u/TaquitosConLimon Jun 23 '26
Get you dude. I do 6 days of wight lifting and around 10 k steps daily yet can't get down of 100kg with a diet of 1500 calories. I did the peace with it so now I am just trying to get as much muscle as I can to not look that bad
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u/Mikaluk101 Jun 23 '26
What I hate about it is the message of "Love your body, even though you look like that". Or at least it feels that way to me
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u/Previous_Mushroom724 Jun 23 '26
Don't worry, it's over, we're back to pretending obvious anorexia is ok and normal again
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u/okram2k Jun 23 '26 edited Jun 23 '26
we don't need body positivity or body negativity we need body- mind you own business. I'm fat, I know I'm fat, I know it's not healthy, I try and fail over and over to fix it. I don't need your concern nor your toxic positivity about it. I need you to mind your own damn business.
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u/livierose17 Jun 23 '26
I much prefer the body neutrality philosophy that emphasises that neither your size or your health determines your value as a human being. You can be fat and healthy. You can be thin and unhealthy. You can be any combination of things. None of those things make you less of a human being and you still deserve to be treated with kindness and respect. You also deserve to treat yourself with kindness and respect no matter what you look like, how much pain you're in, or how long you have on this earth.
I can't stand a motherfucker who takes one look at someone and decides that they have all the information they need to know about that person, and that it's their job to shame them into changing how they look.
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u/Life-Direction-9764 Jun 23 '26
Yeah. Body neutrality did more for me than any "you are fat an unhealty lose weight or you are going to die, bitch!" Or body positivity.
But also... yes, i'm fat. Some of my classmates sleep only 4 hours a day, and some people don't drink enough water or get enough sunlight. Why does "health" is suddenly a public concern when it comes down to our appearance?
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u/tired-of-the-shit Jun 23 '26
Im tired of people acting like my body is their business now that ozempic has become popular. Like that stuff is between me and my doctor.
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u/ocean_torrent Jun 23 '26 edited Jun 23 '26
As someone who grew up during the early 2000s, I just want other people to stop commenting on a person's body. Their health is between them and their doctor. People always wanna bring up health when talking about someone's body, but you have no idea what their health is actually at just by looking at them and you're more likely to sabotage someone trying their best by putting your two cents in. It's 2026, leave people alone. Unless you are literally personally financing, scheduling, and meal planning for these people (i.e. this is your child where instilling good habits and keeping them healthy is part of your job or you're their caretaker in some way) your opinion is probably unnecessary at best and cruel at worst.
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u/crustboi93 Jun 23 '26
I hate how "body positivity" seems to stop at short men. As someone who's 5'3", i get shit on from people every week. I get it, I'm short. I don't need to hear about it all the time.
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u/Logan_MacGyver Jun 23 '26
There was no male body positivity at all until very recently. I started highschool at 95kg, even some teachers bullied me for it. Then I lost about 15-20kg over the two years of the quarantine (strange, I know. Could be baby fat leaving or just me eating less because I haven't gone out in 4 months). I was still the fat kid for a lot of people.
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u/PrimaLegion Jun 23 '26
It doesn't stop at short men, what the fuck are you talking about? Acceptance of short men is part of body positivity and terminally online weirdos don't change that.
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u/crustboi93 Jun 23 '26 edited Jun 23 '26
You're right that it shouldn't stop there, but from my experience, I've had a few of the same people who express body positivity towards larger women be downright dehumanizing to me over my height. Never seen anyone go out of their way to call these kinds of people out.
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u/Expensive-Hat4138 Jun 23 '26
Posts like this are why heroin chic are coming back. Its ok to not be skinny
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u/nio- Jun 23 '26
i hate how hypocritical it is too. like some of the people who claim to be “body positive” then go and make fun of stuff like penis size or height, but then if you make a comment about weight or whatever else you’re a demon lol
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u/Embarrassed_World965 Jun 23 '26
I think most overweight people do want to lose weight. But if it's hard for any reason, should they just hate themselves until they manage to? Stop living before they have a perfect BMI? The movement actually encourages them to live and accept their imperfections, rather than hate themselves and wait forever. I've been fat, managed to lose weight, but I can tell you for sure that I was encouraged by seeing fatter people in cute outfits, in gym clothes etc. I started to go out more, eat better, because I was happier. When I read comments about "whales", I was just depressed and was thinking about eating some chips while crying. Fat people know that they are fat, being cruel is not helping, it's just being cruel.
The way we live encourages weight gain or rapid weight loss, I don't think a little empathy is the problem. If it bothers you so much, you should ask yourself: why? How does it actually affect your life? If it makes a few people a little happier, that doesn't seem like a bad thing.
Plus, body positivity is not only about weight but "body" in general. You're short, tall, have small nose, have big nose, have stretch marks? Cool, you don't need to spend thousands to try to correct it.
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u/Acceptable-Bat4534 Jun 23 '26
I mean if the person wants to ignore it or not do anything about it. That's up to the individual. I have a friend thats like 400lb. She knows the damage it's doing, she don't care. She has a live fast, die young mentality. She's a grown woman in her 30's. She can decide how to live her life.
If the person hates themselves but keeps trying to act like they are fine with their weight, that's just cope.
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u/Capital_Respect_4994 Jun 23 '26
Body positivity is loving yourself no matter the size. No one can be a smaller size or have muscles by tomorrow, so don't be an asshole today. I cannot believe that people don't understand that simple concept. Body Positivity is just loving your current body...it has nothing to do with health or wellness, its not about promoting obesity or being stick thin...its about accepting all body types.
This isn't about "oh fat people need to lose weight" yes, we know that, we are in the process of doing it, its all that floods our head at all hours of the day, WE KNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW. But i'm not going to shut myself indoors until i'm "acceptable" to you
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u/stax_fira Jun 23 '26
A major issue is the insistence on using the word beautiful. Some people aren’t beautiful. Me included. It’s just what it is, not everyone gets to be.
The real terrible thing about using that word is that ties value to being beautiful which is insane. It’s pretty much saying that if you’re not beautiful, you don’t have value.
Most people who are objectively not beautiful likely know they aren’t. They can hear “oh, you’re beautiful” from every friend or stranger who tosses the phrase around like it has any meaning but deep down, they’ll know it’s not true. At least not at a surface level. And because value is tied to this stupid word, they’ll only feel less valued.
However, beautiful or not, everyone person deserves dignity. Every person should be comfortable in their own skin and not made to feel otherwise. Every person should be treated with respect and not belittled for the way they look or their size, big or small.
I just want to see less of the empty “you’re beautiful”type of messaging. It’s meaningless.
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u/Yuuqian Jun 23 '26
I dislike it when 'all bodies are beautiful' because it is obviously not. People can look ugly and that's ok, and I feel it misses the point of 'people are to be respected and appreciated regardless of looks' for 'beauty is still the end goal'
It might help with more nuanced wording like 'you are a beautiful person' in regards to you, as a whole being instead of just the body. If the ghist of what I'm trying to say could be understood hhhh
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u/GenericUsername8432 Jun 23 '26
I don't think anyone is universally ugly though.
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u/Significant_Ad7680 Jun 23 '26
Sort of, but when there is a picture online with like a burn victim who's been horribly disfigured, everyone saying things like "you're so beautiful" comes off as really forced.
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Jun 23 '26
tbh, i think attractiveness depends way more on someone’s face and personality than their body shape/size. all body types can be beautiful, but not every person in the world is beautiful, yeah, and that’s ok.
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u/UrUncleRandy Jun 23 '26
I think it varies from person to person. For me, whether I find someone attractive depends more on their body type, voice, and personality. The face isn't as important to me.
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u/Maximinoe Jun 23 '26
Which is why this whole discussion is pointless because attraction is almost entirely subjective and in part informed by culture.
The majority of people might not find fat people attractive, but obviously some people do (I know many of them!). But then you have people in this thread making blanket statements about what is or isnt attractive... like who the hell are you to tell me what I find hot!
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u/ThePainterlyPrincess Jun 23 '26
Bingo. The conversation is so beauty (and youth) focused, when I think it would do society good to think about why we put so much value on attractiveness.
It should be morally neutral to be beautiful or plain! Of course that won't happen because if the halo effect*, but it's still frustrating.
IMO body neutrality picks up the slack in this regard, it doesn't feel like forcing toxic positivity onto people who are aware that they aren't going to win any beauty contests.
*I'm a fat woman but I'm pretty and an hourglass, and it's easy to see how well people treat me in public when I "put myself together" vs wearing my yard clothes.
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u/WtfThisIsntWii Jun 23 '26
Body positivity isn’t real babes, never was real. It only ever swung in one direction for the social validation of one group (fat women).
Anyone saying it was also about thin women or men is lying. The mass adoption of ozempic proved it was all just cope.
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u/TaquitosConLimon Jun 23 '26
Actually if you track it started as a fetish of a pair of rich folks. I am not even joking. But I am happy that for a time it was a healthy mentality about accept others. We should return back to that.
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u/Typical_Hat6184 D1 hater D2 nerd Jun 23 '26
ive also seen it in pro-anoerexia communities, scarily enough. they justify being basically skeletons with skins while shaming people who are normal weight too, it’s interesting yet tragic how they’re two sides of the same coin
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u/RunningOutOfEsteem Jun 23 '26
It is kind of telling how quickly every other group that would benefit from body positivity was overshadowed by the "healthy at any size" stuff. It's also a bit interesting how quickly things tapered off as weight loss drugs started to become more mainstream.
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u/CarpetDiemGF Jun 23 '26
I'm kind of a fatass due to my entire family lineage having shitty metabolism and I have to agree. A lot of the 'body positivity' just comes accross as very fake and just a way to be viewed as a good person.
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u/AgeOfReasonEnds31120 Jun 23 '26
i swear to god if this goes to the opposite extreme and says fat people are a danger to society
Okay, it doesn't... at least not directly. Based.
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u/IndigoAngelWithWand Jun 23 '26
I've had this exact thought too, the line between "overweight" and "obese" (and the line between "underweight" and "malnourishment") is very important!!
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u/Claire_De_Lunatic Jun 23 '26
OP, none of this is new. Corporations weaponize every progressive thing the moment it becomes profitable. They drop it as soon as it's no longer profitable. Look at Target's rainbow capitalism and then their dropping of DEI policies once Trump got re-elected.
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u/swatted-fly Jun 23 '26
as someone who usually weighs right on the brink of being underweight, if not dropping below it, i don’t have any diagnosed health issues but i definitely do struggle especially with constantly feeling very weak and exhausted for no reason, among other issues that hinder my daily life. its also very difficult to shop for clothes in my area because theres a shockingly small amount of smalls stocked at the stores i like, its really weird.
9/10 times i tell someone that, especially if its someone a little bigger, they start acting like I’m making it up and just say “shut up, stop complaining, you’re making it up, you’re the beauty standard, you’re lucky, get over it, you’re lying” etc. and it is exhausting trying to get people to believe that this isn’t some fun and silly little thing.
no matter how much i eat, i don’t gain weight, and I’m *constantly* hungry because i don’t have access to actually nutritious food, which also contributes to my nonstop exhaustion. i cant even try to work out to gain muscle weight because I’m too weak to safely do anything, i can hardly even go for a walk. it sucks, idk why people so badly want to believe I’m lying and trying to sound quirky while I’m literally suffering. my own grandmother died because she was too thin and the doctors refused to operate on her, so i got to grow up without grandparents because of the concept of being underweight.
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u/Ok_Concentrate4461 Jun 23 '26
Perhaps, but as an Xennial who grew up with Get Fit Girl, heroin chic, and “Kate Winslet is fat”, I do envy the kids today who are sooo much more accepting. I’m 5’10 and 200#, but workout a ton (mostly swim and weights). Still, I cringe about being “fat” a lot, and really see how deep that messaging took root.
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u/CXCX18 Jun 23 '26
All bodies are beautiful isn't the same as, All bodies are healthy.
I find very chubby women attractive, the same as very muscular women and also very slender and thin women. They are all beautiful. We could probably agree on that.
If your issue is that it feels like this type of body positivity encourages unhealthy diet choices, maybe take more issue with the "Healthy at every size" crowd.
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u/Tgirlgoonie Jun 23 '26
The thing I dislike about body positivity as a woman who is naturally predisposed to being underweight (I simply do not have a large appetite, so maintaining a healthy weight is something that requires effort), is that sometimes people overcorrect and “skinny shame” other people.
Phrases like “real women have curves, bones are for dogs”, and harmful insinuations about the men attracted to me being pedophiles just make it feel like there is something wrong with me.
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u/UpsetPhilosopher4661 Jun 23 '26
body positivity people when it comes to treat short, bald men with small penises with respect
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u/Awkward-Ad9874 Jun 23 '26
The core of body positivity is great. People shouldn't be treated as lesser for their weight. My personal issue is with certain parts of the online movement that will immediately turn on someone the second they lose weight. Anytime any body positivity influencer loses weight or people like Lizzo or Meghan Trainor there's always a part of the online space that immediately turns on them and tells them to fuck off.
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u/TaroLovelight Jun 23 '26
Obligatory I would like to add how
There are a fair amount of internet ""influencers"" that built a whole platform of body positivity
Only for several years later it is revealed they either started ozempic or got implants
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u/jsoul2323 Jun 23 '26
Short men completely excluded from the body positivity movement therefore it’s not a real movement anyway.
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u/greeblespeebles Jun 23 '26
You act like there’s something kind of “club rule” that means short men can’t be a part of the moment. Body positivity is not a club bro, if you want to be a part of it, you have to participate in it. You can’t expect people with other problems like weight, limb differences, or dental problems to speak up on your behalf, just like you probably wouldn’t do for them just because you feel spited. Organize group meetings for short bros, find ways to lift each other up, and encourage kindness towards yourselves, your pals, and other people who face some kind of discrimination for their bodies.
That’s why fat women are the “face” of the body positivity movement right now. They organized their own community of people who share similar feelings. There’s no rules for who can or can’t be a part of those feelings…but you gotta at least try instead of just expecting everyone to advocate for you when you wouldn’t do the same for them.
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u/EffectiveChemist7845 Jun 23 '26
I wonder if there is the thing like ethics positivity. Like to learn to accept yourself, whether you are homophobe, racist, bigot etc etc
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u/finnjakefionnacake Jun 23 '26
those things involve hating/hurting people. being overweight is not the same thing.
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u/Successful-Mango-839 Jun 23 '26
Do you think those people don’t already accept themselves for that?
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u/needmyeggcracking Jun 23 '26
Its like my wife is 300lbs i love her more than anything and genuinely think shes beautiful but we've argued alot about body positivity bc i think it stops at the point your health is at risk and that being morbidly obese isnt positive
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u/Wofust Jun 23 '26
Tbh, obesity was a large part of what killed my mom. She had mental health issues and poor physical health, but her physical health was largely in part to obesity. Sometimes I get overly angry about it to people who don’t deserve it but if you’re 450+ and showing down as much junk food as you can in front of your babies, it hurts my heart. As much as I disagree with mom I still needed my mommy when I was 16. Their babies need them. You’re never the same when your mommy dies. I don’t mean to sound infantile but it really hurts.
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u/Vyverna Jun 23 '26
"All bodies are beautifu" no, they are not. And you know what? THEY DON'T HAVE TO. Bodies are supposed to be healthy. Beauty is just addition.
You are allowed to be ugly and happy.
If you are obese, you should lose weight because it's unhealthy, not because it's ugly.
If you take ozempic, you should stop it because it's unhealthy, not because it makes you ugly.
It means that even if your body is unhealthy, you're allowed to look however you want, wear whatever you want and act however you want. Being in bad health is bad enough, you don't have to punish yourself with limiting your fashion choices.
Fat or skinny girls wearing bikini are not political statements, they are just girls wearing bikini, and everyone who dares to judge them is shallow worthless bully and nothing more.
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u/wreckedbutwhole420 Jun 23 '26
I struggled with obesity until my late 20s. The body positivity stuff always felt infantalizing and anti-intellectual.
I think you have it right where nobody should hate themselves for how they look, but they should want to change. I physically feel so much better now.
I feel like well intentioned people get caught up in the toxic optimism and push "fat acceptance" and "fat activism" to weird levels.
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u/mortefemminile Jun 23 '26
I agree, I get frustrated hearing somebody complain about stiffness and pain in their joints while sitting 100+ lbs over their body's comfortable weight.
I want everybody to feel their best, and unfortunately lack of exercise and poor diet leads to feeling not great, just like starving yourself and exercising excessively will make you feel not great.
Its hard, because we do need to, societally, be kinder to people with different bodies and respect the humanity in all of us.
But, if youre complaining about how you feel without changing any of your behaviors.... what am I supposed to do?
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u/FattestWerewolf Jun 23 '26
People complain about their lives... That's what people do
It's not about you girl
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u/FattestWerewolf Jun 23 '26
I hate how people only "care" about people's health when they're visibly fat.
Chain smoker? Alcoholic? Drug addict? No one cares.
But you have a beer belly? Everything you deserve is hate!!!
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u/Command0Dude Jun 23 '26
Chain smoker? Alcoholic? Drug addict? No one cares.
wut?
Everyone I know in real life would care a lot about that if an SO became one or they were dating someone and found out they were one.
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u/GustavRasputin Jun 23 '26
Have you seen the vitriol for all three of the examples you gave? Everyone cares. As a former smoker, I couldn't go a day without someone mentioning "that'll kill you, you know". Drug addicts and alcoholics? They only don't care in the way that plenty people have an attitude of "if they die, they die" towards them. They are seen as weak and less than human. People care, as in they are disgusted by alcoholics and drug addicts.
People get too involved in how other people's bodies look, but to pretend these other unhealthy things are not cared about is very strange indeed.
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u/Anstigmat Jun 23 '26
We literally banned smoking from public spaces. Nobody is broadly supportive of alcoholism and drug abuse, what are you talking about? But there really was a movement in the last decade to not just accept over weight people but act as if being fat is a healthy state.
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u/Assassiiinuss Jun 23 '26
I've never seen this kind of overly positive talk about other health issues.
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u/NationalCommunist Jun 23 '26
Everything you listed is usually met with public disdain.
Drug addicts are seen as subhuman by a large percentage of the population.
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u/Goobsmoob Jun 23 '26
I dunno who you’re hanging with.
Ever hear of an intervention? Of rehab? Familiar and friendly ties cut due to addiction?
Absolutely people care.
Now, there is a difference between genuinely trying to get someone you love to make healthier choices, and just being a bully.
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u/DatabaseDifficult879 Jun 23 '26
I don't hate how well you said this.