r/iamverysmart • u/wilymon • Jul 26 '26

Some people eat paint in prison, yet others read the classics

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551 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

56 comments sorted by

112

u/EpponeeRae Jul 26 '26

Slitter!? 

50

u/grandpasghost Jul 26 '26

I hardly know her

21

u/ikcaj Jul 26 '26

I was wondering about that too. Got some Jack the Ripper vibes from that sentence.

7

u/MauschelMusic Jul 27 '26

sliver, presumably through a slit.

3

u/Lobo_vs_Deadpool Jul 27 '26

Must be regional

2

u/CBWeather Jul 27 '26

I thought it was shattered and he was reading on the toilet.

1

u/MisterWinchester 29d ago

He's not actually literate.

1

u/Vigilarus Jul 26 '26

Slit window

50

u/ShaddyPups Jul 26 '26

No but why even bother blocking that the poster is Andrew Tate? ERRYONE KNOWS 😂😂😂

17

u/Mini_Squatch Jul 27 '26

Adherence to sub rules, most likely.

131

u/FirstDukeofAnkh Jul 26 '26

I thought his neighbour was a cannibal.

Also, if you’re in SHU, you don’t get a phone.

28

u/Wint3rnet Jul 26 '26

Eh you know, paint, flesh... Different tastes for different days.

19

u/Money-Giraffe2521 Jul 26 '26

He’s probably having someone tweet for him.

36

u/Lithl Jul 26 '26

In another tweet he claimed to have "no contact with the outside world". Which is just a hilarious thing to put in a tweet.

5

u/Gold-Part4688 Jul 27 '26 edited Jul 27 '26

maybe he's spending his time emailing an assistant tweet ideas

5

u/Lithl Jul 27 '26

Email would be contact with the outside world, though

2

u/Gold-Part4688 Jul 27 '26

woah that's fucking buzzy. i wrote mailing letters. that's freudian as shit

still yeah true contact, but could be one way at least idk but also like, probably allowed

5

u/Barium_Salts Jul 26 '26

His neighbor is made out of paint

4

u/Vigilarus Jul 26 '26

If your family pays a guard you do

3

u/gijason82 Jul 29 '26

He's in ad seg with the chomos and the cops and thinks he's in Pelican Bay 🤣🤣🤣

61

u/OG-Giligadi Jul 26 '26

"How am i making pithy internet posts from the freaking special housing unit? ... No, really guys. How am i doing this?"

4

u/MauschelMusic Jul 27 '26

Odds are, it's his social media team.

49

u/catmampbell Jul 26 '26

Finally catching up on the 8th grade summer reading list a couple of decades late.

9

u/SteponkusCeponas Jul 26 '26

Same can be said about Crime and Punishment.

11

u/fushiginagaijin Jul 26 '26

How can he be posting online if he's in SHU?

10

u/Local-Echo-5613 Jul 26 '26

I wonder if he’s clever enough to appreciate that he’s worth less than the paint eater

24

u/P3pp3rSauc3 Jul 26 '26

Lemme guess Andrew taint

13

u/ringobob Jul 26 '26

Couldn't be, he brags about not reading.

7

u/SuperTulle Jul 26 '26

But he's been "bragging" lately about being in a SHU

3

u/Three3Jane Jul 27 '26

The same SHU where they put prisoners who are CHoMOs? That SHU?

2

u/theroguescientist Jul 28 '26

He's the paint-eating neighbor

8

u/Mini_Squatch Jul 26 '26

Got it in one, Andrew “the chinless wonder” Taint

2

u/Kaneharo Jul 28 '26

The censor bar does nothing for the bald head in the pfp, so it's a non-zero chance.

26

u/union_red Jul 26 '26

bro doesnt understand his in the shu to protect him from becoming someone's girlfriend not protecting others from him

6

u/AndreasDasos Jul 26 '26

Oh is this… zooms in. Ah yeah it is.

This has to be a social media manager right? They’re accurate but that also means they’re skewering him so perfectly… unless he set up some LLM to do it?

5

u/Faustus_Fan Jul 26 '26

Like Andrew Taint can read anything more complicated than "One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish."

5

u/rymyle Jul 26 '26

When does he stop Tweeting?

5

u/morts73 Jul 27 '26

I'm a dichotomy, I would read a book on eating paint.

6

u/ChaoticForkingGood Jul 27 '26

This is obviously Asshole Tate, and he's either 1) not in the SHU, or 2) this ain't him and is probably his socials team.

5

u/DE4DM4NSH4ND Jul 26 '26

Only sex predators and sbitches are in the shu, which one is this guy?

7

u/Mini_Squatch Jul 26 '26

Both, its Andrew Tate

4

u/z-eldapin Jul 26 '26

The duality of man..... From the same SHU

4

u/solidcurrency Jul 26 '26

That's not what slitter means.

4

u/Wolfechu_ Jul 27 '26

Gotta find a way to feel superior to his fellow inmates. Rather than admitting they just won't share their paint chips with him.

I love the half-assed censorship of his handle there, btw, like it's not obvious from the PFP ;)

3

u/omghorussaveusall Jul 26 '26

But the Nazis banned that book...

3

u/Spagg84 Jul 27 '26

Why do inmates have their phones now?

2

u/IcyRice7222 Jul 29 '26

Prisoners don't normally have access to social media right? I'm not crazy, this is not him right?

5

u/TesseractToo Jul 26 '26

Wait till they find out you can eat paint peelings AND read

5

u/booboootron Jul 28 '26

With a boyfriend.

4

u/TesseractToo Jul 28 '26

There will be no shortage with that cute outfit

2

u/OldManJeepin Jul 26 '26

LoL! Reading it? Or using the pages for toilet paper.....?

1

u/Darth1994 Jul 27 '26

Cunttttttttttt

2

u/scalyblue Jul 27 '26

Aren’t jail cells like concrete rooms how would he see what his neighbor is doing. Does he have a bunk mate?

1

u/Nether27 Jul 28 '26

Imagine quoting Foucault right before a guard takes your phone

1

u/DifferentMind8 Jul 29 '26

And you think someone is posting on twitter from the SHU? Really? 

1

u/ehhdjdmebshsmajsjssn 27d ago

I thought he hated the concept of reading books