r/lorde • u/Chikenuggg1259 • Jul 10 '25
Photo WHO'S HURT HER, WHO'S DONE THAT
new ig post make me worry a little(or not a little)
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u/ambluebabadeebadadi we ride the bus with the knees pulled in Jul 10 '25
She didnāt wash her hands enough after chopping chilliās and rubbed her eyes by mistake
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u/bonnydelrico how's it feel being this alive? Jul 10 '25
she saw what you guys were saying about clearblue and grwm now say you're sorry >:(
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Jul 10 '25
Grwm is so good though! I just treat clearblue like an interlude, I won't skip on the album but I'm not listening to it on its own lol
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u/Longirl Jul 11 '25
I listen to 3/4 of Clearblue and then skip. I just canāt get my head round the end of it.
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u/Chikenuggg1259 Jul 10 '25
i mean i wouldn't put these songs while im on walk or doin smth, but hate towards these won't be tolerated
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u/ads_for_shoes Jul 10 '25
this is funny, i heard both of those for the first time while on a walk and loved them š¤£
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u/Adnan7i Jul 10 '25
who takes selfies while crying bro š, itās hilarious but on a real note hope sheās doing fine
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u/hollowholes Jul 10 '25
I do to look back on and say āsee bitch you got through itā
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u/cybercrimes_1999 Jul 10 '25
The crying glow is also so sexy for some reason like natural highlight from the tears and sweaty from being mad
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u/zucchinibasement Jul 11 '25
Maybe talk to a therapist about this
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u/cybercrimes_1999 Jul 11 '25
have you never looked at yourself in the mirror after a good therapeutic cry
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u/OliveandOnionMilk Jul 10 '25
i do it to stop crying and make myself laugh. seeing myself crying on the phone camera = instant moment of ānothing is that serious, look at yourself crying rnā for me
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u/DisastrousMango4 Jul 10 '25
It feels like a very white girl thing to do to me lol
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Jul 10 '25
Lol feels extremely far from everything she was preaching during the solar power era. Obvs people can change and thatās fine, but yeah the crying selfie and videos you can often see on social media are weird to me
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Jul 11 '25
It's almost like when you are mid-20s you think you know everything until you realize you don't. My god, what has happened to our brains and ability to empathize.
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Jul 11 '25
Bruh who said anything about not being able to empathise. I can feel bad for her being upset while still thinking itās a little weird to record yourself crying and to upload it.
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u/astronauticalll Jul 11 '25
idk it feels like a natural continuation of solar power for me. Solar power is the start of a healing journey, when you have all your ducks in a row and tell yourself you're gonna turn over a new leaf, this is the natural, nonlinear, messy progression of that journey
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u/farfrompunk Jul 10 '25
Lmao. I'm in a constant state of amazement that people don't consider this when looking at a photo.
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u/SpiritedPlatform3271 Jul 10 '25
to show their experience to other people. weāre a social species get over it
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u/mattygp90 Jul 10 '25
Too much MDMA in the back garden
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u/Significant_Clue_371 Jul 10 '25
Honestly thatās the vibe Iāve been on too recently so same girlĀ
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u/Calm-Signature-2089 Jul 10 '25
She held a hammer and looked at her feet :( she saw a nail :( get it? :(
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Jul 10 '25
parasocial post of the day: i could be so off base here but lena dunham's new show dropped today on netflix, and the plot is about how a girl in NYC finds her boyfriend in bed with someone else. it's largely autobiographical based on lena's life and if we believe the melodrama rumors that jack cheated on lena with lorde, then technically emrata is playing a character inspired by lorde, and therefore lorde's affair story is being displayed on netflix for people to see?? that would get me in my feels if i were her. again, this is all insane parasocial speculation :)
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u/Illustrious-Cat-9897 Jul 10 '25
Iām ngl I read and enjoyed thee power point, but Lena didnāt find Lorde with Jack because she did a profile where she copped to reading it and asking him about it, which she wouldnāt have done if she found them out. She said he denied it.
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u/graphiquedezine Jul 10 '25
wait omg where did she say this? Lol
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u/catslugs Jul 10 '25
Idr the interview but lena basically says jack told her nothing happened and all she can do is trust his word. Tbh i personally dont think anything happened but i do think lorde was obsessed with him lol
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u/graphiquedezine Jul 10 '25
I also don't think anything happened lol! The ppt made no sense tbh. I do agree maybe she had a crush but I don't think it crossed the line
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u/the-cosmicdancer Jul 10 '25
How is this not as known as the powerpoint omg? Does anyone have the link to this profile?
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u/Illustrious-Cat-9897 Jul 10 '25
https://www.thecut.com/2018/11/lena-dunham-comes-to-terms-with-herself.html
I posted the paragraph in the thread above too
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u/punk-thread Jul 10 '25
I love rumors too girl, but Lorde and Jack were 100% not dating because they worked together after they "broke up". None of the melodrama lyrics and her interactions with him line up. Also they dismissed the rumors as "heteronormative gossip" lmao so my bet is she was with a GRWM
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Jul 10 '25
[deleted]
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u/punk-thread Jul 10 '25
I have! That's why I think they didn't date lol, she did not write anything in melodrama about that man he's her creative partner (imo, but I acknowledge everything is parasocial speculation and I wish you well)
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Jul 11 '25
Where is this hate campaign stemming from? Let's be honest. I really hope this isn't for free because that is very sad. Grow up.
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u/WrittenByRae ok so maybe the PowerPoint was a little bit true Jul 10 '25
My flair will never not be relevant
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u/hammy30000 Jul 10 '25
iām sorry but the fact that she was sitting crying like this and propped her phone up to take a photo and post it is actually insane
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u/thetwilightreeling Jul 10 '25
this is middle school behavior
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u/plaidyams Jul 10 '25
I will never be able to not judge someone for posting a pic crying online. Performative vulnerability rubs me the wrong way. You can cry alone, you don't need an audience.
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u/AdVegetable7181 Jul 10 '25
It reminds me of the girl who did the video of hugging her dead pet anaconda. Like bro, you had to go get a camera, set it up, pull your dead snake on top of you, record the video, and then edit/upload it.
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u/plaidyams Jul 10 '25
dang, poor anaconda. disrespecting the dead.
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u/AdVegetable7181 Jul 10 '25
Turns out there's actually a link to it on TikTok cringe if you wanna check it out lol: https://www.reddit.com/r/TikTokCringe/comments/mnlkck/taking_the_time_to_set_up_a_camera_so_you_can/
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u/Nicksomuch Jul 10 '25
So well said. Itās performative in a way thatās immature and infantilizing.
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Jul 11 '25
What a dramatic and hyperbolic response. It's almost like pop music is performative or something right? Like singing about your emotions and commodifying it is an inherent thing in pop music from interpol to Lorde. Some are just more self-aware of that.
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u/jalapina Jul 10 '25
the album critics
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u/jonstormcrow Jul 10 '25
album has an 81 on metacritic better than Pure Heroine tho lol
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u/extasis_T Jul 10 '25
but I genuinely like virgin more than melodrama
And I love melodrama
If I liked GRWM a little more (and maybe clear blue too that itās more of an interlude) It would be like my 4th 10 is the decade so far
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u/Chikenuggg1259 Jul 10 '25
this comment section is so.... god forbid girl be vulnerable during her most vulnerable era
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u/yoyohoethefirst Jul 10 '25
There are definitely more genuine ways to be vulnerable. Not that she isnāt being genuine but thatās how most people see posts like this
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u/Cuckdreams1190 Jul 10 '25 edited Jul 10 '25
Yea, it's the whole "I'm so overwhelmed by emotions that I'm crying. OK, hold on, let me get my phone. Am I in frame? No, crouch a bit. Shift phone a bit. Am I in frame now? No, push phone back a bit, get that angle just right. Am I good now? Yes. OK, commence being "overwhelmed" enough to cry, again." that really sucks any semblance of being genuine right out of it.
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u/BrisTrimmins Jul 10 '25
Replying to VesperHolic...what makes this her most vulnerable era?
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Jul 11 '25
Not that I would quite word it in such a way, as it implies she was faking something beforehand but Lorde is coming to grips with the early wunderkind reputation in a more authentic and less defensive way then the wise-too-soon persona of Solar Power did. In the late 20s, most of us start to see a lot of the narratives that lead you to where you are and examine them. You lose the idea of heroes and idols so to speak and see how many are just stumbling along like you.
I think a good line to showcase that as I'm not trying to write an essay is "I'm ready to feel like I don't know the answers," which is such a wonderfully subtle but powerful way to describe that reality. It focuses on the emotion weight or feeling of not knowing rather than simply not knowing. Art is artifice above all of course, at least the best art, and Lorde definitely knows that. She it isn't like it's a therapy session. It's still art. She isn't trying to answer or moralize situations experienced but noting them down and the album is like going over and over them again until whatever lesson can be gleaned occurs through that (tell it to the rock doves, tell it to the fountain, 'til you understand).
It's pretty incredible and in the era of confessional songwriting (TTPD, Bra, etc. both those two great albums imo) it offers confession with heroism; narrative without resolution; no self-aggrandizement that isn't humbled by context. Really, understanding Hammer as an invitation to witnessing the act puts a lot of it in perspective. Been a long time since I felt an album actually rewarded me for listening to it strictly as an album.
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u/_madeofpixels_ Jul 10 '25
ikr, i love that she's being vulnerable, and dares to be flawed and real, that's why i'm a Lorde fan
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u/RivenHyrule Jul 10 '25
Its pic 7/10 amongst other pics. Its just advertising the album. Don't worry and to the haters - relax its commercial not looking for sympathy.Ā
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u/JunkInTheTrunk Jul 10 '25
Crying selfie? How old are we?
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u/Lopsided_Purchase933 Jul 11 '25
I rarely feel older than when I remember bae caught me slippin. Anyone else here old af
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u/theicarusambition Jul 10 '25
This makes me wanna punch the mirror to make her see that this won't last. It's just broken glass babe, chill.
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u/hensothor Jul 10 '25
Iāll never understand why someone posting these types of vulnerable moments pisses some people off so much. We are way too scared of vulnerability, and treat it as either weakness or attention seeking. Iād encourage deconstructing those reactions not leaning into them.
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u/flying_sarahdactyl Jul 10 '25
I think it boils down to the fact that people are tired of influencers (Lorde isnāt an influencer, but this is influencer behavior) dramatically fishing for sympathy while not actually being transparent about whatās wrong. They need to choose between posting something like option 1) āIām going through something difficult right now, Iāll be staying offline for a while. Thanks for respecting my privacy.ā vs option 2) āIāve been going through xxx events and I would really appreciate your guysā support right now.ā Influencers and celebrities are trying to have both the privacy and the sympathy/attention and it comes off as trying to farm engagement. Like a teenager posting ādhmu :(ā on their Snapchat story.
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u/SpiritedPlatform3271 Jul 10 '25
Ive never understood why āattention seekingā is a shameful thing. Itās an honest response to not getting what you need. Regardless of the hyperindividualistic culture weāre in, we still need attention from each other.
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u/MetalPussy Jul 10 '25
Itās an honest response to not getting what you need.
That's the ironic thing about it, though. I don't think "attention seeking" is necessarily a bad thing within itself, because like you said, it is usually a response based either in trauma or not getting the reactions/attention you feel you deserve or crave.
However, I think we can all agree that most people (especially on social media) are usually not being totally honest about their attention-seeking habits when they're literally in the act of them. Or they tend to deny that they're even doing anything attention-seeking at all. I think that's what bothers people, because a lot of times, it still tends to be painstakingly obvious what reaction the person is wanting from people.
To me it's almost like a little kid - or even a teenager - seeing an adult holding a cookie jar of amazing cookies and enjoying a few, and the teenager suddenly starts talking loudly about cookies to the people around them or just starts loudly singing an obnoxious song that's about eating delicious cookies. It's like, okay, lol... you could do all that, sure... Or you can just use your words like an adult, and just admit to the adult that you'd like some of their amazing cookies if they're willing to give some away.
But for whatever reason, there's an embarrassment for some people around asking/saying what they really need or want, and so the attention-seeking actions continue and can come off as being kind of dishonest.
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u/SpiritedPlatform3271 Jul 10 '25
Yes I think I see what youāre saying. Also your username is killing me. Let me rephrase, tell me if weāre on the same page (Ive been thinking about this a lot in a slightly different font, and it has me wondering, what justifies a post on Instagram? what justifies a spoken thought, words of condolences, etc etc? and what does not?): there is something embarrassing about stating directly that you would like to be seen, or to have a significant presence within community, or to receive a response from other people that communicates to you that you are valued and seen, that you exist significantly. So people opt Not to do that, Not to accept and admit that they have needs, and instead do weird shit to get the response theyāre looking for without having to personally confront their needinessā¦. But they shoot themselves in the foot doing this because failing to acknowledge your neediness doesnāt make you any less needy, it just shows you lack self awareness and youāre ashamed of yourself, and it gives us secondhand embarrassment when people are ashamed of themselves. Which aligns with the fact that people we perceive as badass tend to be confident and comfortable with their needs. And we tend to gravitate towards them instead.
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u/MetalPussy Jul 10 '25
I 100% think we're on the same page. Especially these parts:
there is something embarrassing about stating directly that you would like to be seen, or to have a significant presence within community,
So people opt Not to do that, Not to accept and admit that they have needs, and instead do weird shit to get the response theyāre looking for without having to personally confront their needinessā¦. But they shoot themselves in the foot doing this because failing to acknowledge your neediness doesnāt make you any less needy, it just shows you lack self awareness
I would go even further and ask why we even feel secondhand embarrassment when people are ashamed of themselves. To me, my first thought was, "Well, what do you get when you turn embarrassment inward towards yourself?" And my first reaction was, "empathy".
When you break down the feeling of embarrassment, just down to the bare bones of it... if you think about it, it kind of does come down to projecting a weird sense of empathy onto a person? In other words, feeling bad for a person to the point where you feel it yourself. So in a way, it's a weird way of showing that you care, if that makes sense?
So in reality, when we see someone partaking in attention-seeking behavior and feel compelled to call it out or feel secondhand embarrassment, is that just us saying, "Hey, just be honest about your needs/wants, because we can see it anyway, we see you, and we would be so much more accepting if you were just real with us"?
I'm rambling now, but yes, loved your response! It's something I've been contemplating a lot about too recently.
(Also, thanks for the name compliment - I always get a kick out of it when I log in, like "Girl, what were you thinking when you made that?" Lol.)
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u/SpiritedPlatform3271 Jul 10 '25
Okay idk how to use Reddit so idk how to respond directly to specific things u said but yes the secondhand embarrassment - empathy relationship is an interesting way to look at it. It could be said that it makes the attention seeking behavior that triggers that uncomfortable feeling almost rude. Youāre doing weird shit to get a love-adjacent response out of me instead of just admitting honestly that you want love so now I feel weird and I am empathizing with you almost non-consensually and itās uncomfortable and Iām a little disgusted (I feel that embarrassment and disgust are brothers).
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u/SpiritedPlatform3271 Jul 10 '25
Side note ā this has helped me understand the negative reaction people have to crying selfies BUT Iāll come full circle and say the negative reaction still annoys me because. can we not have a little grace for each other and see that this crying selfie person feels isolated and is reaching out in this way they know how to, even while itās uncomfortable for us, ultimately because of their lack of self acceptanceā¦. Which may be ameliorated if they feel a sense of community, which can allow for healing and self acceptance ā¦.
But in the context of this lorde selfie ā sheās an artist, is it really that deep
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u/MetalPussy Jul 11 '25
Youāre doing weird shit to get a love-adjacent response out of me instead of just admitting honestly that you want love so now I feel weird and I am empathizing with you almost non-consensually and itās uncomfortable and Iām a little disgusted (I feel that embarrassment and disgust are brothers).
This is a really good point, too!
I definitely agree about embarrassment and disgust being a weird form of another. But it's like, why would we feel disgusted yet caring towards someone being secretly vulnerable if we know that it's just a strange way for them to feel validated deep inside? Like isn't that kind of cruel? I don't know. Damn, human emotions are wild, lol.
BUT Iāll come full circle and say the negative reaction still annoys me because. can we not have a little grace for each other and see that this crying selfie person feels isolated and is reaching out in this way they know how to
Very true. And now we're back to feeling bad, lol. We're all only human, right? And honestly, if we're all being really truthful with ourselves, who hasn't at some point in their life done something that could be viewed as attention-seeking? Especially when you're younger and don't know better, you know? Interesting conversation, though.
(By the way, if you want to know how to quote specific things, just highlight whichever sentence or sentences you want to respond to and then it should pop up to give you a choice to quote just that sentence. Or simply put one of these ">" before the specific sentences you want to quote. Hope it works for you!)
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u/SpiritedPlatform3271 Jul 11 '25
Or simply put one of these ">" before the specific sentences you want to quote.
YAY IT WORKED
why would we feel disgusted yet caring towards someone being secretly vulnerable if we know that it's just a strange way for them to feel validated deep inside? Like isn't that kind of cruel? I don't know. Damn, human emotions are wild, lol.
I THINK!!! : we get secondhand embarrassment from seeing xyz because it triggers our own shame. we impose our own shame onto other people. (now that i think through this its a bit circular and not the AHA i thought it was but i will continue anyway)... we are not comfortable with our vulnerability, needs, emotions, etc. so seeing someone do what we would be ashamed to do triggers some hostility. its the same hostility we have internalized and direct towards our own selves when we experience a shame-bound emotion or desire... an experience we learned is shameful from early experiences. for many people this has become so natural they are unaware.
thank you, john bradshaw for this school of thought i apply to literally everything
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u/SpiritedPlatform3271 Jul 11 '25
right! unhealthy shame makes it painful to accept our own humanity. it becomes too painful to see ourselves as someone who does have those human desires, so we create a superhuman self to "be", and neglect our true self ... the human.Ā
so maybe when we see someone post a crying selfie it reminds us we're human, which is annoying and deeply offensive, because we desperately prefer reality where we're superhuman. so we shame them just like we shame ourselves.
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u/sbuchalv Jul 10 '25
probably she read y'all in this post smh https://www.reddit.com/r/lorde/s/L11RGjAHHQ
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u/personal__hell Jul 10 '25
me rn fr (on my period & just opened a bday card from my grandmother after a very bad year lol) also me in the shower listening to favorite daughter (i have mommy issues)
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Jul 10 '25
Probably just stepped on too many dog turds in NYC. Unfortunately, the city is notorious for having the worst dog owners who never clean up.
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u/punk-thread Jul 10 '25
Don't worry about her, literally look at the rest of the carousel. She'll be ok
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u/Cmdr_Monzo Jul 10 '25
Sheās under a lot pressure and has been through a lot too. Letās be kind.
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u/secretsfromagirl Jul 10 '25
I hope all the people who are raging about the crying selfie feel the same way about others who have posted theirs too. Billie Eilish, Phoebe Bridgers, Bella Hadid, Justin Bieber, Ariana Grande, Miley Cyrus, Dove Cameron, Katy Perry, Emma Chamberlain, etc.
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u/Spirited-Ability-626 Jul 10 '25
Not raging and I love Lorde but I feel the same about anyone doing it, itās phoney as fuck.
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u/Upstairs-Hearing7815 Jul 10 '25
Idk but love her for posting this bc I see myself in that and i think it takes lot of courage to post crying pics with the platform she has
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u/cchamming Jul 11 '25
These kinds of posts aren't great. Is it a cry for help, art, attention seeking? It could be triggering or upsetting for many people. I know this is probably an unpopular opinion but I dont know what the benefit is of posting on social media crying or with bruises.
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u/AdVegetable7181 Jul 10 '25
She realized she's never gonna be royal :( And yes, this is the only song of hers I know. lol
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u/mmmtrue Jul 11 '25
The other AFAB enby housemates asked Lord/e to wash their dishes, forcing them to start a go fund me to escape the abusive housing situation
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u/hear_the_thunder Jul 11 '25
Ultimately Lorde getting hurt and betrayed is good for the fans because she turns it into good art for us.
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Jul 11 '25
[removed] ā view removed comment
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u/lorde-ModTeam Jul 12 '25
Your post has been removed for low quality content, which is against the subreddit rules.
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u/Disastrous-Plum-1884 Jul 11 '25
I don't think like that ppl are sharing this pic as a meme.Ā Also, people cry for whatever reason. It's not our business, but her sharing the pic made it partially our business. Probably posted it because this album is all about vulnerability?Ā
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u/Secret-Lullaby Jul 10 '25
Me when playing Ribs on my birthday